Getting My Twins to Sleep

Updated on December 28, 2008
P.S. asks from Washington, DC
11 answers

My 4 month old girls are sleeping fairly well at night (10 to 12 hours with one brief breast feeding in the night). But neither baby sleeps well during the day, and they are becoming so miserable as a result. The main difference between day/night sleep is the swaddles.
-Is it okay to keep swaddling them at night at 4 months?? When do I stop? Should I swaddle for naps?
-Both girls suck on binkies at night. They fall out after they go to sleep, but some nights we have to keep playing the binky game over and over. If we don't return the binky to their mouth, the screaming begins and then both girls are awoken...disaster.
-Any advice about day time sleep for twins is most welcome. It's not an option to let them cry it out, because they share a room and the crying always wakes/disturbs the other baby. I have no idea what to try to get them to nap (together or on different schedules).

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E.T.

answers from Washington DC on

You need to stop swaddling babies when they are capable of rolling over.

My sister had twins and read books about twin sleep before they were born. I know that they shared a crib for a long time and then when they moved to two cribs the cribs were pushed together in the middle of the room so they could see eachother and touch. My understanding is that twins sleep best when together. They are also most content when together. Typically one could sleep through noise short of screaming from the other.

My sister and her husband swore by keeping them on the same schedule. When they went off the same schedule it was constant feeding, diapering and crying.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

Ok first off my suggestion is to stop the binky. If you start the binky game at this age it will only get worse as they get older. Next will they sleep seperatly. If so use this to your advanage. Each nap and evening switch out who sleeps in an different room. So that you can let the scream it out. Unless your plan is to keep breastfeeding you should not breastfeed anymore in the evening. They don't need it anymore after 3mo. they only want it because you offer it and they like it. As far as naps during the day you... You know when they are starting to get tired... Lay them down and don't give in. If they fight it than the next day try 30min early not later. Children fight naps more when they are OVER tired than when they're not tired enough. They should be taking a nap about 9am for about 1hr or so and than again at about 2 or 3pm for another hour. Bed time should be at about 7pm. with rise at about 6am. Good luck

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H.X.

answers from Richmond on

Hi, let me confess first off I don't have twins. I do know some moms who do.... that said. I have a 2 1/2 year old and 6 month old and sleep during the day is a must and a challenge. Swaddling was our best technique until both our kids were 5 months and my oldest was even swaddled until after 6 months. Go with it, if it works for your twins at night it will probably work during the day.

Another idea: bouncy seats, swings etc... some motion for nap time might help get them to sleep. A walk just before nap time each day (yes, I know weather could be a big factor for winter - just throwing it out there).

Two resources I found helpful (aside from advice from other moms): Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and Sleeping Through the Night by Dr. Jodi Mindell (often cited in Parents magazine for sleep q&a). The first book does advocate some cry out methods but it offers really in depth explanations about sleep rhythms from day through night. These both helped us make informed decisions about how to manage our kids sleep schedules.

Happy Holidays and best of luck with your little sweeties!

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E.G.

answers from Washington DC on

I swaddled by daughter until she was 9 months old. I took the attitude that she would eventually grow out of it... and she did.
Sorry I don't have any advice about the binkey, she never used one.

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T.G.

answers from Washington DC on

my sister has twin boys and we swaddled them until the blanket wasn't big enough to do it anymore - nap time -anytime we laid them down - they got swaddled.

My sister would turn on the hair dryer in their room and the noise of the dryer would soothe them.

Also, she took them to the chiropractor and found out that both needed adjustments made to their backbones and they slept better after that adjustment. They were only a few months old.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi P.,
We swaddled our baby, now 2, until she was able to undo the wrap by moving around/turning over, which was around 5 - 6 months.
As for sleeping during the day, I found that my daughter would sleep best in her infant carrier, while I was shopping. Just a thought.

M.

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L.J.

answers from Dover on

I have twin boys who are now 11 years old so its been awhile since sleep was an issue for us. (It will pass for you as well even though right now it seems like it never will!) My boys had a sleep schedule for naps during the day that we tried very hard to adhere to. Sometimes it made it hard to go grocery shopping, etc because if we werent home by afternoon naptime, things went bad pretty quickly! They usually woke up in the morning about 7:00am. They would eat breakfast and then we would play until about 9:00am. By then they were usually getting a little sleepy and they would go down for their first nap. They were never put to bed already asleep so they kind of fell asleep on their own. They would wake up about 11:00 or so and then have lunch and we'd play some more or go out for grocery shopping, etc. I would try to be back by 1:00 or 1:30 because it would be naptime again. They would sleep until about 3 or 3:30. Then they would be awake until bedtime which was about 7:00pm. One of the boys loved to be swaddled and the other one didnt. In fact, sometimes that was the only way to calm him down if he was really upset. We would wrap him so tight that it seemed like he couldnt move. But, he would calm down immediately. I would swaddle them as long as they like it. I would also try to keep them on the same sleep schedule. You need a break as much as they need the nap-especially since you work from home. I work from home now and its harder than people think sometimes. There can be alot of distractions at home that you wouldnt have at an office where everyone was trying to work too. As far as the binkys go, we used them too. I dont remember having too much problem with them falling out and waking them up. I'm sure it happened but I dont remember it. Our boys gave up a nighttime feeding at about 6 weeks so they really didnt wake up too often during the night. If one did, we would jump out of bed and try to get to their room before they woke the other one up. I'm sure you are very familiar with that drill! Looking back, those days went by really fast. Before you know it you will have to drag them out of bed!

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J.C.

answers from Washington DC on

It is ok to swaddle until they can roll over; we used the swaddleme sleepsacks by kiddopotamus on our twins until they were at least 6 mo old; definitely swaddle for naps also to keep things consistent as it takes them a while to adjust to not being swaddled. We also used binkies w/ both our boys; one liked it and one would just use it until he fell asleep; if he woke up in the night, we would quietly go in and just put the binkie back in without picking him up or talking to him, and that usually worked (of course, all babies are different as you can see between your two already, I'm sure). We always kept them on the same schedule, or you will get so worn out w/out a break! I think they nap better when they are together. I would usually feed one first (as one was pretty much always the first one up before the other at that age) and then go get the other one up as my boys had to be bottle-fed since they were 7 1/2 wks early and never got the hang of breastfeeding. Hang in there! It is extremely challenging at this age, but soon things will get easier! Now my boys are 15 mo and our sleep challenge is getting rid of the morning nap and transitioning to just one afternoon nap; one always seems to need more sleep than the other!

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

hi P. :) I don't have twins but I did have a 4 month old... :) my dd is now 16 mos but around 4 months we were still playing the "how on earth do you get a kid to sleep" game, and at least in my daughter's case, 4 months was about the time I started getting serious about her schedule. She needed to sleep about every 2 hours, so I made sure she had an opportunity to sleep- either in the stroller, in my arms in a sling, or in her bouncy seat. She wouldn't sleep in her crib until 6 months, bc like your kids, she needed the swaddle feeling. I'd swaddle her during the day for her naps and tuck her into her vibrating bouncy seat or her stroller- it did the trick! Maybe you could try that if you have bouncy seats. It does keep them more comfy than a crib.

Ahhh the binky game. I hate that game. I still have to go in a few times a week to give her the binky, and at 4 months it's awful b/c they aren't really mobile enough to get it themselves! My daughter still slept in the bouncy seat at 4 months (in her own room) and that did help with binky containment, you could also try what we did- i lined the crib with binkys, so if her hand went out, she'd find it. The girls will be mobile enough to get the binkys themselves in a month or so, for now you might just have to play the game. ONce they can get it themselves, things will get a lot better- they learn fast how to find it. i hope this helped...

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

I don't know much about twins, but I'll tell you from my own son and all the children I nannied before having my own, swaddle, swaddle, swaddle!! Unless they hate it, and you'll know, swaddle them until they don't fit anymore. It makes them feel secure and warm, it's great and there is no reason not to. The binky game is hard, but it will get better because very shortly they'll be able to pick it up and put it back in on their own at night (different than during the day), that is of course until they learn to throw it on the floor to make you come in (a toddler thing)!! For napping, try to keep the room dark, to symbolize sleep time and keep some of the same sleep routine, whether it be reading, rocking and music or whatever (not the bath of course), this will help them to associate this time with napping. Good luck!!

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I am mommy to an 8 month old boy. We swaddled him for naps and night time sleeping until a couple weeks ago. I had tried to get rid of the swaddle for naps at about 6 months and his naps deteriorated rappidly and I resumed it. He let us know he was DONE with the swaddle this past month because he kept wiggling out of it. After about a week of coming into the nursery to find him out of the swaddle (arms only) we decided to give it up. I worried he would never sleep again, but after about a week, he adjusted fine. I think if it still works for you twins, keep doing it. I highly recommend it at nap time too. I have no solution for the binky game, but as they get older, they put the binky back themselves and find other reasons to wake you up.

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