Getting My Almost 9 y.o. to Do Homework

Hi T.!
Sorry for the late response! I would try setting a timer when it goes off, he has to put everything away, finished or not. If he really can do the work easily, he shouldn't have a problem finishing. Hopefully he will realize what he needs to do to finish on time. Hope this helps. Good luck.
L.

have you tried talking to the teachers with him there? "I think it's just that my work is not hard enough." is a strong statement, he may just need the challenge so he can see there is something he doesn't already know. It will create a new excitement for him to excell. Good luck.

Hi T.,

Most kids would rather be playing video games, watching television or out playing with their friends, but homework is one of the necessities of school. Perhaps if you suggest that by completing his homework, he'll earn the things he'd rather do; that might be a way to get it done.
If he says he's BORED by the work, ask him if he really knows it. Children are use to being entertained by TV, XBox, and games; if homework isn't entertaining, this is NOT bored.
If a child has a real mastery of a subject, THEN you could say he's bored!

fighting will get no where been there done that. schools will not cater to these children whom learn different or learn fast/slow. in each class/grade the teachers have to teach all the children the same level and are not allowed to teach higher levels than that grade. teachers are only allowed to teach at grade level or help those who need to get to grade level. i am currently hs my 4yr old and my older boys 8 & 12 want to also be hs i am seriously thinking about it. my 8yr old is on a 4th grade reading level and 3rd grade math level he is not allowed to be challenged more to go higher. my 12 yr old is like your son everything is boring he knows it al aready and cant advance to the next level. schools will not move them up a grade. my suggestion is hs since you can cater to your childs every needs, wants, and challenge him like he needs. the punishments that you suggest will not motivate him as my son will tell you it makes the situation worse and my son will also say im not listening to him and meeting his needs. like i said schools have to follow a curriculum they are given and as much as they would like they cant give more challenging work to the children who need it.

This may sound far-fetched as an explanation, but I'll offer it out there anyway. It sounds like my friend's son. He is brilliant. And his homework was way too easy. And his teachers were all "dumb". And I'm sure that was all true, given his intelligence. But he was also a perfectionist. And I had read in a parenting magazine that perfectionists will unconsciously take forever - too long - to get their work done. Then, IF a mistake is ever found, their excuse will be "I didn't have enough time" rather than the dreaded "I made a mistake". They don't want to face they could make a mistake (especially if the work is incredibly easy), so they unconsciously create a situation in which they would have an excuse, if a mistake is ever found. My friend thought it applied to her son. May be far-fetched, but you might try letting him know it's okay to make mistakes - just get the work done!
Also, couldn't help noticing your motivational tools were all punishments if the work doesn't get done. Have you tried a reward program instead. You may not want to reward - I myself prefer to teach that some things you just have to do without a reward - but maybe it would be worth it if he got into a better routine. Find a sport or activity that he would love - but would have to get his homework done first if he were going to be allowed to do it. My daughter rushes to get her homework done so that she can go do her sports after school. Good luck

Wow.... Poor you. This is actually something I am hearing frequently from other moms now as teachers have many different levels of talent (and sometimes no help) in the classroom. Gifted or no if a child is bored they are going to tune out. Personally I think a creative and fun teacher can keep things alive in the classroom. However, I think most teachers feel somewhat hampered now by MCAS and other manadates. This really gets me going (also a little steamed) because third grade should be a fun, social, active and creative place to be! There is no excuse why he can not be challenged! Have you considered home schooling? I am at the point of actively considering removing two of my three kids from public school (actually my youngest is still in private preschool but you know what I mean!). It may not be as daunting as it seems especially if your kids are close in age..... I know several families who are dong it successfully. Wouldn't it be fun to bring your son on a really cool field trip instead of fight about homework? My seven year old daughter would like a break from the readers they bring home each week! She has cried that math class is "boring, boring, boring" because you have to wait and do the paper with the teacher even if it's easy. I applaud your efforts to find a better way for your son. Lets find a better way for all the kids! I will be reading all the responses and hope that as a community of moms we can find a way to have healthy, happy, active, challenged and creative children no matter what their I.Q.'s are! Take care and God bless! P.S. I've read the other advice and I do believe you should start with a heart-to-heart with his teacher... Also try not to punish him for being bored with his work (I am not criticizing you) - try to get some harder stuff! Good-luck!

T.,
As a teacher sometimes I have found that if you as a parent suggest/ ask your child's teacher/ administrator if your child could have other assignments which would be challenging that will help stimulate his interest. If your school has a gifted and talented program, ask if your son could be included in the program. I have found students who are very bright sometimes are bored and understand the material and assignments and find it a waste of their time to do the homework or assignment. (This is very frustrating for me as a teacher). I have found tbough an alternate assignment which is more challenging, and asks the student to do research, and then perphaps a presentation , the student learns more, is challenged, and enjoys the class much more. Talk with your son's teacher, the gifted and talented teachers, and also other school officials, let them know the frustrations and concerns you have about your son and his homework.
Good luck. If you have questions feel free to contact me.

I agree, the work probably isn't hard enough. Perhaps a good idea to talk to his teachers and see what they think. If they agree then maybe you all can put your heads together to see what can be done to stimulate your son.

My daughter is doing the same thing, except for her the work is hard. We just told her to get it done or pay the price. The teacher will just make her do it during recess or take it home again the next night. Wouldn't it just be easier to get it done the first time? Talk to his teacher, maybe he can do more advanced stuff for your son? For me talking with the teacher is a big part of it.

Good luck
H.

It sounds like he is telling you the problem here....have you though about working with his teacher to find an option for him to have ciriculum that IS appropirately challenging? Are there any gifted programs that would be an option?

Just my 2 cents of course but I don't think all the motivation/punishments are going to work if he really is way above the level of work he is given.

Good luck, hope you find a solution:)

Hi T., I have a 9 year old too that doesn't like to do his homework, but it's not because it's too easy. My son is intelligent too but I think yours is just bored with it. It's too easy like he says. I'd go and talk to his teacher, maybe he should be in 4th grade. Schools can advance kids if they're to gifted to stay in the grade they're supposed to. I think he definetely needs to be advanced a grade by what you have written. Have you talked to his teacher about that? I hope all goes well, maybe the teacher can give him harder homework, but as parents, we can't let them get bored with school cause when they get older, they may not think they need school.
I hope this helps.
B.

Hello T.,
I actually have a friend who went throught the same thing with her son. He is now 16 an very bright. He was tested at school and was diagnosed having "aspargers". The doctor said that this condition is a minor version of autism.
He never sits down during classes or even takes notes, but he still manages to get great grades. He is now on medication, which I know are working wonderfully for him.
I hope your son is not affected by this, but if he is, is beeter to treat him early on his life.
Hope this helps.

Hi T.,

Around the age of 8 or 9, many gifted children start to have difficulties with the written word. Up until this point, they've had many picture context cues, etc. It sounds to me like he's hit a wall of some kind and doesn't quite understand what is happening either.

I have 2 very gifted sons...and when my oldest started having issues at the age of 9, we went through many, many, many months of struggle and heartache before finding out that he was dyslexic!

It has been 4 years now and his experience has completely changed our lives (for the positive). I would invite you to read up on dyslexia on my website (www.ne-dyslexia.com) and see if any of the characteristics sound like your son.

Dyslexia is a gifted thinking sytle - but it comes with its share of difficulties. The book, The Gift of Dyslexia, is what really hit home for me when I was searching for answers.

I hope that this is helpful!

He may not be able to. Most kids will do homework if they can when the punishments are put in place.
Does he tend to lose focus a lot? Not pay attention very well and look like he is daydreaming all the time?
Even Geniuses can have ADD. (there is a non hyper form) It may be worth checking into.
Also he may respond better to rewards than punishment. So you could say every time you do you homework you get a check and then after so many checks he gets a prize or extra game time or TV time or....
Just some thoughts.
Jen...

Hi T.,
First be sure your son's problem is simply being unchallenged and not some undiagnosed learning disability. Did the problem only present this year? Is some social issue causing the problem? Is this his way of getting attention from you while your attention is split with younger siblings? Negative attention is still attention. I would suggest you have your son CORE evaluated in order to have concrete information regarding his abilities or disabilities.

If your son is as gifted as you say he is than I would suggest meeting with his guidance counselor to discuss finding a more challenging curriculum that better meets his academic needs and helps him to meet his potential.

Meanwhile, take this as an opportunity to teach discipline, respect and work ethic; traits even a genius would benefit from.

You say you have used taking away things, etc. Have you tried using his sense of reason? Explain to him you are trying to help find a better fit for him, but meanwhile, he needs to prove he is worthy of peoples' effort by doing his part.

Explain that there are plenty of menial jobs that YOU do which are also boring, not challenging, etc. (clean the toilet, fold laundry etc.) Also explain to him that his teacher is his boss. He/she assigned this work and it is
disrespectful not to do it.

There are many different types of intelligence, musical, artistic, physical, mathematical, social, etc. All children have strengths and weakness. Your son is no exception to this. As a parent it is your job to help him find his talent and to foster growth in that area. It is also your job to teach him discipline, respect for others and the ability to delay gratification. See this as an opportunity to teach these valuable lessons.

Think very carefully before moving your son ahead a grade. Your son's social adjustment is just as important as his academic progress. Unless your son is truly a prodigy, I would try to keep him with his classmates while working with the teacher (or outside programs) to find opportunities for challenge.

Bottom line, if he is as gifted as you say, he will be done with the work in no time and he will then have much more free time to do with what he wants. He should be able to understand this simple cause and affect.

You are the mom, sometimes it is ok to say "because I said so that's why!" Best Wishes.

J. L.

Hi T.,
it sounds like ;you need to work with the school to meet his academic needs. It sounds like he is not being challenged, and the teacher should be able to help him increase the difficulty of his school work so that it is sufficiently challenging. Perhaps a consult with the school counselor may help you devise some strategies - if he is barely doing any school work, he should not be sitting at the table for over 4 hours!

I have heard where children are bored by their work and then they just tune out of school. If the teacher can't help you, then go to the principal. If they can't help, find an outside counselor who can help you advocate with the school to get your sons needs met.

I personally do not share this situation, but I wish you the best of luck. You can also google "gifted kids" and see what you find. There must be some resources out there for you to tap into. Good LUck!
E.

Have you tried positive rewards. I know sticker charts seem below him, but when there is a reward at the other end, it still works for my almost 9 yo daughter. After so many stickers (or checks if stickers are too uncool) he can get a small prize, if he wants he can continue to "save" his stickers for a bigger prize. It will become a habit and then he won't need the prizes. Also he is old enough to reason that if the work is so easy, why not get it out of the way and be done with it so he can go have fun. A little reason can sometimes go a long way!!!

I also have a third grader. She takes forever on her homework if she is at the kitchen table. She has an established routine where she gets home from school, has a snack, tells about her day and then disappears to her room with the door shut to work at her desk. She is not to come out until she has done as much as she can and then I check the work or answer questions. This is working great and she is finishing much faster. When she is done, she is free to choose whatever activity she wants until dinner is ready.

I hate to sound like I'm criticizing or condemning you but have you talked to his school about moving him up a grade? Or at the very least trying him out on some of the work from the next grade level? Why would you punish your son for not being challenged enough by 3rd grade work? If he is truly that smart and he finds things too easy then it isn't his fault. You, as his mother, should insist that the school do more to challenge him and stimulate his interest in school and learning. If he loses interest now he might not live up to his full potential later. He will get very discouraged with school as a whole and not do the work because it is too easy and then he will truly be in trouble at school and home. My son found his work (in 3rd grade)too easy also and his father and I went to the school and talked with his teacher and came to the agreement that she would give him the next grade level of work for some things to see how he did. He did fine and is now happy in the fourth grade and right on target. You have to help your son to get the education benefits he needs and deserves.

HI T.,

I would not argue with the master.. IF he says the work isn't hard enough then probably the whole issue is boring and make arrangements for him to take a harder class OR make a deal with the teacher that if he begins to get less than 95% on a test he will start doing homework again. IN essence he has recognized that it is just busywork/supplemental for what he doesn't get and since he gets it... What is the point of doing it? If nobody will work with you then perhaps you can play devil's advocate and if see if he can do it all in less than 5 minutes.... etc... reward... If he is this smart you can say...Listen , you know how it works, I know it is easy but Mrs. Smith NEEDS to have paper in to her to keep Principal Jones happy.... I agree it is annoyoing but it is the way it is.

Good Luck,
C. W.
www.MyHomeCottageBiz.com
Supplemental Income Ideas for Families

Hsve you considered having him tested and then placed in a program for gifted students?

T., Here is my suggestion. Check the internet for some free worksheets that are harder than he is currently doing. Have him do a page of regular homework then give him a more challenging worksheet. Good luck.

Dear T., I , too, was a "gifted" child. I hated school. I was bored silly. I LOVED learning, but hated school. I wanted to learn about the things I wanted to know about.
In my day there were no special programs, schools, agendas ect ect for gifted children. I find many programs today fall short but at least the schools are trying.
We had to sit in a room with two classes, 1/2, 3/4, 5/6, 7/8. Around thirty to forty students, one teacher and she/he had to aim for the middle to reach the most children.
I was done with the literature book within the first month of school. I would read the story for the day then just keep reading for something to do. My Mum saved some of my penmanship papers to show me later on in life, every letter had a little person or animal drawn on it.
There are now schools for gifted children that have scholarships available for those who need them. Perhaps one of these would meet your son's needs better than the school he is in.
If this is not an option, than I would suggest a more intimate approach to the homework. You or hubby sit down with him and supervise. He cannot do it on his own at eight years old. He just cant. It takes a level of selfcontrol he is not yet capable of, especially under the circumstances that are existant.
Keep in mind a higher IQ does not necessarily indicate a higher level of maturity. He is still just a little boy.
Personally I think it is ridiculous to give homework to a third grader anyway.
Ok, if there is not a good school for him, and the homework help/supervision does not seem to be working well ( it should..with breaks and a snack) then talk with him.
See what subjects he simply adores and which ones he cannot tolorate.
With me it was history. I had severe ADHD and could not remember the dates and names. I hated it. Loved English and Literature with a passion.
So give him help with the subjects difficult for him and reward him with an advanced course in the subjects he likes.
Based on his maturity, which , from you letter, sounds about average...you may consider advancing him a class...or maybe two if you and teacher and Dad think he can handle it. Or is there a possibility he could try it out for a time?
This is going to be a hunt and search project to find out what can work for him and you and his teachers.
As a parent of gifted children I would like to reassure you that it can be solved. But not by doing nothing.
Something has to change for this child, his mind needs to be challenged.
I am not a teacher either, but I did find ways to help my gifted children simply because noone helped me . Perhaps being gifted myself, that gave me a clearer understanding of what was needed for each of them. ( I have seven children, two special needs, five "gifted") I sorta resent that gifted label too.
The higher the IQ the bigger the bucket ( the mind) A small full bucket is desireable over a large empty one, yes?
Email me if you like.
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

PS you do have some excellent answers with other resources I was not familiar with. One that I was and did not remember to mention is the work ethic. The other respondents have answered so well I shall not repeat them..but do read them studiously. Very important and very well said.

Hi T.,

I am ot a teacher adn I don't have shcool age chidlren but it sounds to me that your son is bored. Maybe since he feels that his homework is so easy he's just not motivated to do it. Have you talked to his teacher about this? Maybe he/she can give him something extra/harder to make it more challenging. You may also want to get him tested to see if he reaaly is gifted. If so, another school or skipping a grade may be more appropriate. In the meantime, I would talk to your son. Explain to him the importance of doing his homework even if it is too easy and let him know that you are going to work with his teachers to figure a solution.

Good luck!

Hi T.,

If a teacher approached you to tell you your child is gifted, you should really be proactive for your son. Go to the administration and push to get him tested for gifted placement if your school has it.

In the meanwhile, maybe you can explain to your child that everyone has a job to do, even children. It helps with motivation when kids know that you deal with the same issues of not really wanting to do the chores that you do because they can relate. Tell him that your job as a mom is to make sure his homework is done and to do your work for this reason and that and even though sometimes you don't want to do the work, you must because it's your job and responsibility. His job as a child and a student is to do his chores for this reason and to do his homework. Even if his homework is too easy and he is bored doing it, he must do it because it's his job.

You can explain to him that while he may not WANT to do it, everyone has days when they don't want to do their job but they do it anyway. Give him personal examples of when you didn't want to do something but you had to because it was your responsibility.

Tell him you are working on getting him more challenging homework, but that he must do the easy homework while you are fighting for him.

This way, he has a reason and purpose while he waits for the reward and he knows that you understand and are trying to help.

Talk to his teacher and ask if there is more challenging work she could give him or even if you, yourself, could give him alternate homework based on what she sends home so that the objectives are the same but the path is different.

For example, instead of doing 20 math facts, maybe he could do 10 word problems where he needs to use facts to get the answers.

edhelper.com is a good resource for ready made questions.

I hope this helps you.

Good Luck
~H.