I am a SAHM with two boys. The oldest is going to be three soon and the younger one is 9 months. I'm frustrated with so many little things that I am getting incredibly grouchy and snappy with my oldest. He's not potty trained and at this point I don't see is happening anytime in the near future. I know! I Know! He'll do it when he's ready and I really don't think that pushing him into it is going to make it go well at all. It's just whenever I have to change a poop now I am so irratated. I don't want to be like that with him! Then there is the problem that he is a picky eater. He eats a total of maybe ten different things and that is it. I am just so tired of making the same thing everyday. I mean I switch it up some and do offer other things on occasion but he just wont even try Anything new. He wont even try to touch pasta of any kind. I've gone with the advice of not making meal times into battles and it's not that I want to start the battles but I don't see how he ever going to learn to try new things. Another thing is my husband pretend wrestles with my oldest and he in turn tries to wrestle with the baby. I am constantly having to remind him that he can't play rough with the baby and to be gentle "don't push him" "don't lay on him" "don't , don't, don't!" I don't why I'm letting these things frustrate me so much right now.
Totally been there with my two girls! Hang in there :)
One thing I found that REALLY helped me with being more patient with my kids is taking some time for myself. It can be weekly or daily or in-between, but as moms we NEED some time to recharge. Go for a walk or grocery shopping alone or take a long bath with the door LOCKED! It doesn't have to be fancy - just something you enjoy :)
Hi S.,
I'll tell you why these things are frustrating you right now - because you are with the boys all day (and night) and these things ARE frustrating! You have every right to feel like you do. It all gets to be a bit much somtimes, it sounds like you could really use a little break.
I won't offer advice, it sounds like you already know what your plan is, it's just gone awry at the moment. If it's any consolation, we are sort of using the potty at our house but sooo many times there are "misses" and I end up with a Hansel and Grettel style poop-trail from one end of the house to the potty. I'd much rather just go back to diapers for life!
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Chin up Sherry. It sounds like all you need is a little time to yourself. You may also need a date night with your husband. Sometimes that's all it takes to refresh yourself just enough to not let the little stuff bother you. You should be getting time to yourself (out of the house) at least once or twice a week.
My kids are picky eaters. I have stopped that battle for the most part. There are some nights when I will make 3 different things (one for me and hubby, one for my oldest and one for my youngest) I don't need any lectures from anyone...but thanks. My girls are both underweight for their ages and I would rather make them something that they will eat, than something that one bite will be eaten and then they will end up skipping a meal.
Good luck. The holidays are coming and that is stressful enough...try to enjoy some free time.
I remember being the same way when my DD was near 3 and DS was almost a year. There were days I'd have to call my husband as I was walking them around the block so he could come home and take over before I really flipped my lid :) She would tear apart her room during "naps" and he was a "WLB" -whiny little boy and there were days I could barely hold it together.
All the advice in the world doesn't help when they're both pulling on the last nerve....stiff drinks do.
:) Cheers!!
One of the techniques I used for the recalcitrant potty trained toddler was to withhold something really important to him. Think about something that would really motivate him. For example my youngest just loved apple juice. The deal was he received no more apple juice until he pooped on the potty. Three days later, Voila!.
I also tell a story about "the poo-poo party under the house." Toddlers love all the details I divulge about the party. Then I talk about the only way poo-poo can go to the party is by the toilet or potty, not diapers. Discussions about how sad the diaper poo-poo is about not being able to go to the party helps not only with potty training, but also teaches empathy. You can take a look at my website www.nocryingbabies.com for more in-depth suggestions. Good luck!
J. R
When my daughter regressed in potty training, I let her pick out a princess dress up dress from Target, hung it in her closet where she could see it but I wouldn't let her touch it or wear it until all the poop and pee was going back in the potty! (she did have a few accidents after that but for the most part she was very motivated to try and to wear underwear. And if all else fails, you should try going cold turkey and get rid of the diapers during the day. A lot of kids will poop and pee in diapers as long as they have them on! :). GL.
Time for a weekend away with DH.
Romantic.
No worries about the kids.
Presuming you've got grandparents or someone trustworthy
to stay with the kids.
During this weekend w/DH, your job is to RELAX,
be grateful for the good things in your life,
and spend some quality time with DH.
Near the end of the weekend, just as you're getting ready to come home,
sit down with DH and explain why he is not to wrestle with older son any more. Make this a non-negotiable item. Carry older son on shoulders,
play horseback ride, swing or otherwise play physically but
NO MORE WRESTLING.
Good luck.
I can relate to your situation, and I am just a grandmother of a nearly three year old and only watch her 2-3 days a week. A few months ago, I was just where you are, really frustrated, not even wanting to see her sometimes. Then I read Happiest Toddler on the Block, and it really changed my perspective and way of handling things. I tried a few of the techniques and it turned the situation around for me 180 degrees. I agree with the others who said you need some time to yourself. I recommend getting a sitter and/or daycare for your kids for at least one day, if not two days a week, on a regular basis, so you can always look forward to chunks of time without your kids. ALL kids will get to you eventually. The thing I did with my granddaughter was to try and see things from her point of view, not worry if she isn't potty trained yet, not worry if all she wants is pretzels and chocolate milk and mac n cheese to eat. Her Dad took on the task of making sure she gets a good dinner, she gets good nutritional food at daycare, where she goes 3 days a week, plus she is really influenced by the other kids there to eat and behave. Good luck.
I understand your frustration. Put your boy in time out and take away priveleges if he does something mean to his younger sibling. Be 100% consistent and don't get exasperated. Keep working with him potty training. Try offering him pennies if he goes on the potty. Be cheerful and have fun with them. Your frustration wears on them too and they can't handle it, I'm sure. Hang in there mom! You're doing a great job. This too shall pass...
I'm sorry if it sounds cruel but my girls got to that point and I got so frustrated with it. The problem is they stay with my mother in law who DOES cater to what they want for lunch, dinner, etc. They might get away wth it at Gmas but not at my house. They eat what I am fixing-if they express they don't want it I tell them okay fine then don't eat then. Believe he gets hungry enough he will eat-period.
The potty training deal I have two girls and from what I hear boys are just harder but then again I have heard girls are harder than boys-so who knows. I know when I potty trained mine it was all or nothing. I took them to the store and let them pick out their "big girl" panties and put them in it. Oh yes it was frustrating having to clean up poo and pee on two girls at the same time but it was just life. Eventually they didn't like to be in their own mess and they got the hang of it. Believe me he will be potty trained before he leaves for college momma ;())
Hi S.,
I'm a little late in responding but your oldest sounds a lot like my son was at that age. He wasn't fully potty trained until almost 4 and I thought I was going to lose my mind. I would just lay off of the potty training for a while mostly to give yourself a break from it. If you're mentally prepared to have him in diapers it is way less frustrating when you have to change one. Try again after the holidays. The next few weeks are going to be crazy enough so take a break from it and start again in the new year. As far as the eating goes I have found that if I just present the food and not say a word about it he would sometimes try it. Not always, but sometimes. The more I pressured him the less likely he was to try it. If he didn't try it just take it away and let it be. I also got sick of making separate things. I would give him 2 choices if he did not like what we were having at dinner. It was yogurt or oatmeal. He's 6 now and eats a lot more than he used to. He's still picky, but not nearly as bad as he was. Good luck!
I hear you! Being a mom is frustrating. I can relate to the picky eater thing. I just want to scream, "try it!!!!!!!!!! one bite, you might like it!" I hear you completely. It is very hard.
as far as the "picky eating" serve him what everyone else is having or let him go hungry....he'll eat what's served soon after that. my neice did that and obviously my mom (grandma) got mad at me for making her go hungry, i'll make stuff somewhat special like adding a spice to the food or what ever, but other than that, eat what you're given or don't eat and go hungry...however, it needs to be balanced...why not let your child decide from 3 things (3 main courses, 3 side) that way your happy with the choice and he's had some say so in it...that always helped my daughter..ok tonight we're going to have pasta, hamburger helper, or chicken, which would you like to have? then cook that, ok your choice of veggies, are corn, g beans, or carrots...pick 1 ok, should the bread be buttered and garlic'd or plain? then let him help make dinner that way he can SEE what's in it, and be more willing to want to eat with everyone else... :) worked wonder's with my neice
HI S.,
So sorry you're having a hard time with you're two little ones. I think we all go through this from time to time.
Are you doing anything to promote the idea of potty training for your 3 year old? If you aren't already doing this, you might get some "potty" books to read with him daily. There's also a good video called "Elmo's Potty Time". If you aren't TV watchers you can just put a segment at a time on to see if you can get him interested in the idea of potty training.
As far as the eating is concerned, I would broaden the things that you are offering him. It has been said that kids have to try a new food something like 10-15 times sometimes before they like it. At three you can have a conversation about it and tell him that each day you're going to give him a new food to try and make it into something interesting for him. I would give him enough variety on his plate that he can find something to eat, but I wouldn't cook special dishes for him. And I wouldn't continue to cook the same old favorite. Don't make it a battle, but he'll try new foods and he'll eat when he's hungry.
I disagree with the wrestling, depending on how it's done. Adults playing physically with kids is really important and valuable, but should be done in a way that the child learns what limits and boundaries of play are. Also your husband needs to let your son know that the wrestling type of play is only play that he can do with Daddy ( or you if you do it with him) , and it is play that you both have to agree on. (This keeps him from feeling like it's ok to wrestle with the baby or jump on your back when you aren't ready for it.) I used to tell my son that it wasn't time to play like that right now and give him a designated time we would play. So in your case you might say, "No Joe, it isn't safe to play wrestle with the baby. That play just for you and Mommy and Daddy. When baby goes down for him nap you and I can play wrestle. For now let's go outside and I'll chase you." You and your husband might also check out a book called "Playful Parenting".
Good luck!
Stop and remember two things
1.) You are blessed to be able to stay home with your kids everyday! Relax and enjoy the gift! Imagine dealing with the frustration and demands of the office and then coming home to deal with the frustrations us moms face on top of that. Look at the gift and the annoyance won't seem so big.
2.) Your kids were born knowing nothing. They are seeing everything for the first time, taking it all in so everything they do is lesson - imagine how exhausting and scary it must be for them some times. Be patient it takes time! If you can just look at it from their perspective it might be easier to take.
