Getting Flak for Bedtime

Why do you care what others say? She is a well rested child on a time clock that works for her. I wouldnt even discuss my house hold habits with anyone.

I've gotten negative feedback for when my son goes to bed.

If my son had a bedtime of 8 o'clock or even 9 he would be fully awake at 4 or 5 in the morning, OR he would be waking up in the middle of the night and up all night.

His bedtime is 9:30 and it take him about 20 minutes to fall asleep, he wakes up at 7 o'clock.

He's never been a kid that sleeps a lot.

Do what works for your family and ignore what everyone else tells you. If she's getting all the rest she needs, and it certainly sounds like she is, then you are doing your job.

First of all, ignore everyone else. Your family is your OWN and things that work for you will not work for others. I think her bedtime is perfectly normal and she's getting the right amount of sleep. Me, I'd perfer to have her in bed earlier so I'd have some alone time with the hubby or just for myself before I go to bed, but I get up earlier than you guys do.

My children are 1 and 3 and go to bed as 7pm and 8pm (respectively) and get up between 6-7am. I have friends who's kids sleep from 7-7, ones who's child sleeps from 930-6 and then others who's daughter sleeps from 10pm-11am.

If it works for you, let it be. When you get flak, just smile and say "Glad we don't have to get up with the rest of the world who goes to public/private schools!" or "Yah she's a partier like her mama" (in a sarcastic voice) or just a simple "Works for us" with a shrug.

Ha ha...and I get flak for putting mine to bed at 7 because it's too early :-)

Family members are always so free to criticize aren't they? She is getting plenty of sleep, and the schedule is working for the family, so it doesn't matter what other people think. My kids (2 and 10mo) are awake at 7am sharp, so they got to bed around 7 or 8pm. I've tried putting them to bed later thinking they would sleep later but they just don't! They are awake that time no matter what. As kids get older I think they naturally go to bed and sleep later. Teenagers would sleep later if they could too, I think school starts way too early. I was always tired and groggy in high school.

Your are fine. Not every one is on a 9am to 5 pm schedule. If it works for you are your child to heck with them. My friend works late hours and when her kids are not in school they stay up late to seeand spend time with Mom. the kids get plenty of sleep. Yes as long as she gets enough and is well rested then you are fine.

For some reason we all love voicing out opinions before we think it through. Ignore them.

Bedtime for my boys is 8 and they are both up by 7. They are 4 and 6 yrs old. So they are getting 11 hours of sleep as well. IMO, if a 9 yr old is getting 11 hours, that's great! Forget about what everyone else is saying. Obviously you are looking for the best interest for your child - good for you.

I put my toddler to bed around 9:45-10. (we used to try for 9, which never seemed to happen) I mostly do it because she is such a Daddy's Girl, and my husband doesn't get home sometimes until 8pm, and if she doesn't have time with him, she seems depressed and cranky. I would rather let my little girl stay up a little later than "The Norm" then have a depressed cranky toddler! Not to mention I would rather not have her being wide awake at 5am either. Actually I had to bite my tongue once because a family member was complaining that her son was waking up at 4am-5am and all I could think was "Well don't put him to bed at 6." Alas, I was to polite to say anything.
If it works for your family, who cares! They don't have to follow suit. You aren't asking them to force their kids to stay up later. Sounds like everyone is healthy and happy, so go with it!

<grinning> We homeschool, too. And get the same flak. I figure it's either jealousy or lack of imagination. We're not tied to school bells, so why should we schedule around them?

Kiddo (ds8) gets 11-12 hours every night.

Nov-Apr bedtime is 7pm (because we get up at 4am, and kiddo climbs into his sleepingbag in the jeep to sleep on the way there, and we drive to the mountians M-F to snowboard and do school in the lodge on snowboarding breaks).

May-Oct bedtime is 9pm-10pm, and he gets up between 8am -9am.

It is plenty of rest if she is awake, alert, and refreshed - which you say is true - so the rest of the world should go fly a kite!! You are doing a fine job, Mama!! My son is 3 yo and I am lucky if he gets 11 hours at night! He does take a nap, but I thought he was supposed to get more. He is a bright, energetic, happy boy so I don't care that he goes to bed at 9 or 10....it lets me sleep in later!! :)

We get flak because we put our 2 year old down at 6:30. You just can't make everyone happy. Do what is best for you and your family. If YOU decide that it is in her best interest to start getting up at 7 or so (for whatever reason), you can adjust her bedtime accordingly. But if she is getting enough sleep and the schedule works, who cares!?

It sounds like she is getting plenty of rest. She is waking up refreshed and she doesn't have to be up at 7am to get on the school bus. Tell the busy bodies that the schedule works for you and your family and leave it at that.

Is it possible to let your family know that this works for her and her doctor is not concerned? I mean 11 hours of sleep is awesome, who cares what the start and end time is as long as she is well rested and healthy.

Well, all my kids, (toddler, 1st grader, and almost 11 year old), go to bed between 9:00 and 9:30. They get up between 6:30 and 7:00. So, mine are not getting the same amount of sleep! I guess I'm the bad mom? They are never tired though. Now, the toddler does still nap. Sometimes 30 mins, sometimes 2 hrs. They are very active, with their extra-curricular activities as well as school. I'd say 10 pm to 9:00 am is just fine. One of my dear friends homeschools, and sometimes they are up until 2:00 am doing stuff, and sleep until whenever. She is also one of the most dedicated, structured moms I know. She just hates being tied to a daily 'schedule' as long as all the goals are completed by the end of the 4 day school week she maintains. Tell those bugging you to butt out! Lol!

If it works for your kid and your family, then tell them you do things a certain way, and they don't have to follow along -but that's the way it is at your house. Remind them that she doesn't get up at 6 or 6:30 for school! That makes a huge difference!

We also get raised eyebrows from our family. My son is 8 and I try to have him in bed around 9:30. Usually it's closer to ten by the time he is in bed and even then, he has a hard time falling asleep and it takes him almost another hour to fall asleep. He has to get up at 8 and be at the bus at 8:40. His pediatrician always asks if he gets at least 9 hours of sleep, so I figured he is ok with this schedule.

It works for you and your SD, so that's all that matters. If my son got up at 9am he'd be going to bed at 10pm! Remember when family gives unsolicited advice, you have permission to ignore it, so go forth and ignore!

sounds like the perfect schedule for your family. 11 hours is great! for a 9 year old. our schools start at 8:50am and our 8 yr old goes to bed around 9pm, and gets up around 8am, so your child is doing better than we are, and I would suspect better than most. now I just want to be able to get that much sleep myself!!

say "Hey that's just how we roll!" and laugh them off! LOL

Just another post of support. We also homeschool, and bedtime is for us is flexible. (I have 4...from 7 mos to 14 years) I also see no reason to adhere to a "normal" (aka public school) schedule as it would make all of us night owls miserable, especially since hubby leaves for work at 8pm and I am on my own for bedtime. Whatever works for your family is perfect and when anyone gives you flak, just nod and smile and continue doing what you're doing!

Glad to see this post. My son has never needed a lot of sleep and his current bedtime is 9:00-9:30. He is 23 months old. He sleeps until about 7:30 and takes a two hour nap.

I think you just have to say "this is what works for my family".

My husband doesn't get home until 6:00, dinner at 6:30, playtime with daddy for a while, and then bath at 8:00. I don't want to have to rush around and get him to bed quickly after dinner, so our bedtime works out great for us. My son gets about 12 hours of sleep a day.

Every family is different and has different hours. My 2 yr old goes to sleep about midnight when I do. I also get grief for this. I always have to remind them that my husband gets home at 2 am from work and needs to sleep until at least 11:30 so he is not wiped out from lack of sleep. She still gets about 11 or 12 hours a day--she does not take naps. My older kids are 11 and I cannot get them to go top sleep before 11 if I am lucky and they get up at 7:30 am. Just tell them it works for you.

Sounds to me like they are giving you flak about just the bedtime right? Not that she is getting too little sleep because 11 hrs is totally fine and sounds like it's perfect for you SD.

It could be for your family 10pm is not the "norm" so when there is a family that is not doing what is "normal" in other's eyes, it gets their underpants all in a bunch! WHATEVER!!! LOL!

My daughter is 12 (almost 13) and gets about 9, at times 10 hrs of sleep a night.

It's all good!

I am way late into this, but why does everyone need to know what your daughter's bedtime is? If it works, enjoy it!