Getting "Fixed"

I thought it, but then my husband stepped up and got a vasectomy. He's my hero! It's way less intrusive for him than you. Would he consider it? My rationale is that I gave birth to two beautiful children. That is enough messing with my plumbing for a lifetime. :)

My ex had the vasectomy. No debate at all - much cheaper, easier, less expensive, a day or so of recovery time, etc.

I had my daughter at age 41, so I knew we were "done", so no regrets.

Now, the guy I'm dating never had the "V" so I'm back on the pill...

I will never get my tubes tied. It is harder on the female than a vasectomy is on a male. I have taken care of the birth control for years and then carried and gave birth to three children, plus breastfeeding etc. I feel the least my husband can do is go for a simple procedure in his doctor's office. He has to have some part in this.

I also have 3 kids and we are 100% done. However, the though of my husband or myself getting permanently fixed doesn't appeal to me. I am not mentally ready to do that (and I probably will never be). I don't know if there are health risks for a women getting her tubes tied, but there are for a man getting his tubes tied (vasectomy - you can google health complications with vasectomies). Regarding getting your tubes tied - for me personally, I wouldn't feel like a 100% woman, since I would no longer have my reproductive organs. I also have a morbid part to me. I hate to even type this, but what if the unthinkable were to happen, and my husband and I chose to have another child (not to replace the child, but to have more joy in our lives again and to help us continue living). But that is just me and I'm sure I am in the minority with my morbid thoughts, and about not feeling like a 100% woman if I got my tubes tied. It is something I will never be mentally prepared to do. Instead, we chose another form of birth control - NFP (natural family planning). Feel free to send me a message if you want to know about it.

Does your husband want more children? If not, ask him to get the vasectomy. You bore 3 children. It's his turn......... at least that is how I felt and my husband did this for us.

I had the Essure last year after I had my second child. The doc did it under IV sedation in the office. My husband drove me home about a half hour after the procedure and I took a 3 hour nap then I was fine. I had some period like cramps that day, but nothing the ibuprofen couldn't take care of. Tons easier than a laproscopuc tubal with general anesthesia. The other thing with the Essure is that you go in three months later and they do a dye study to make sure everyting is occluded. Super easy and took about an hour in an outpatient imaging center.

The second question of regret... I can safely say that don't. Occasionally I get a little feeling of what would it be like to have another baby. Then I see my kids and realize that the prospect of bringing another child into my home is nuts! Anyway, if I change my mind down the road I can adopt or do IVF, but I don't really think that will happen. But really, ultimately the decision has to come from inside you. Only you really know if you are done.

I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't recommend it. I think it's degrading, like we are no better than dogs and can't control our urges. Look at the study put out by Dr. Janet Smith. It's shocking!!!

I had mine done and don't regret it even a little. I LOVE having my tubes tied. I had mine done the morning after my youngest son was born. So I ended up with an extra day in the hospital. My son was born on friday evening, I had the tubal saturday morning and went home monday about mid day. I was REALLY sore in my tummy saturday, but by sunday it was down to just a twinge and by monday I was fine.

But I knew 100% for certain I NEVER EVER EVER wanted to be pregnant again ... EVER. I was D O N E ... DONE. I was 31 when my youngest was born.

Weigh all the options and be sure you're done having kids before making a final decision.

I would not get this done unless you are one hundred percent sure you and your husband are done having kids. A lot of times reversals are not successful, so plan on it being permanent. I had my tubes ties during my c-section with my last daughter at age 33. I have no regrets at all. I knew 3 kids was our limit. Since I had it done during my c-section I didn't notice any additional pain other than the c-section pain. I have had no side effects at all from the tubal. A better option would be for your husband to get a vasectomy, it is just a quick outpatient procedure for him. If I hadn't had a c-section then my husband would have gotten the vasectomy.

They now have a new procedure called esure or something like that and my friend had it done and i babysat her 2 month old, 18 month old, 3 year old, & 6 year old, enough said as to why she is ready!! LOL but they give you Valium have you come into the Dr.'s office, insert a speculum, inject the uterus with a local, and then insert little spring like things into the fallopian tubes. this is permanent sterilization and i'm not sure if it can be reversed, but as far as recovery, she & her hubby had lunch right after and she had mild PMS type cramps and that was it. they gave her some pain meds in case the cramping got bad, but she didn't have to use them and she was glad cause she breastfeeds. So about 2 hours afterwards, she was back at home like normal with all her kids!! Pretty cool and about the regret part, well only you can answer that. :) OH and she said it cost $3,300, but her insurance covered it and she just had to pay her $240 deductible. Must be nice, right? I think my deductibble is around $50,000 now LOL...

Have your DH go through the procedure. Too many side effects for women. That is what has detered me.

Don't be afraid to seek out a little short-term counseling to help you sort out your decision. The procedure has been described by others so I'll just weigh in on the decision - it can be very freeing to not worry about birth control, but you also have to make a clear distinction between your fertility and your womanhood. If being fertile is key to your view of yourself as a woman, then sterilization is not for you yet. You say you don't want more children, but the permanence of an operation can have an effect on you. I would NOT advise you to get the procedure because you think you can always do IVF or adoption - neither one is easy, quick or inexpensive. A tubal ligation is for those who are sure they don't want another child, period.
I had mine some years ago and felt fine about it, but that was me and this is you.

Good luck.

Not that YOU will, but since you asked if I do, YES I really really regret it (as everybody here is tired of hearing me whine about it too).

I had three too. I was 30.

Things change, ALOT for me, but things change for everybody. But now there is money, a much better relationship, the KNOWHOW that only comes from being an older Mom with a few older kids.....

But again, I think my situation is a little more unique. We really would've LOVED to have snuck one more in under the wire. Of course that gives us other options as well, travel, fostering, adoption, the time and abitlity to focus on each other, no parenting disagreements, etc.....still....sigh....But MAN I LOVE BABIES!!!

This was 1997 when I had mine, I'm sure it's gotten even easier now. It was laporascopic, when in through my belly button, took about fve minutes, went home 2 hours later, have very little pain.

So of course, your choice is singularly yours, but that's MY story, I mean since you asked and all. And I promise I will make an effort to let the rest of the tube tying questions go!!!

:)

What does your husband say about it, does he want any more kids? How is your relationship with him, Is it rock solid so that peradventure it doesn't work you won't want kids with the other person. I think you are still young but if you made up your mind, it's possible.

I've had it done during csection, love it, but I've heard others who had it done years ago and then had kids later.

Why not consider an IUD? It's the top choice of birth control for female GYNs. And you won't need to think about it. Then, if in 5 years you decide that you a re definitely done, have your tubes tied.

Are you talking surgery? I had a c-section with my triplets and told them while they were in there to fix me. The doc said he would tie, staple and cut the tubes to be triple sure it would take because it was not uncommon to have it "not take" by just tying or just stapling, etc. The triplets made 5 children for us and with my husband in the military at that time we were on a high enough burden. On top of it, I started taking birth control for my hormones to make me really and to help with peri-menopause.

I think most women emotionally regret getting "fixed" no matter how much reality tells them they're done having children.

The recovery from surgery will differ for each woman but you do have to be gentle and careful that first week with no lifting. The second week is better. But assume your first month you will not be 100%. Don't be surprised if you get an infection in the incision area. I've known many moms who have had that happen, including me, because they use staples for just a few days, take them out and are left to deal with the desolving stitches inside to heal. They used to leave the staples in longer. I don't know why they take them out so early now. Mine were only in for 3 days. Once you get an infection it is a mess to deal with because the new opinion is to pack the small wounds open to heal and it's not fun. Although, the incision may be much smaller to get "fixed" therefore less chances for infection. This is something you need to discuss with your doctor.

You can always wait for surgery and try other BC methods.

**I wanted to add one thing. I have one very big question. Why isn't your husband considering getting himself "snipped"? It's far less painful and can be done with outpatient surgery. If it's because he's a big baby then maybe you can ask him if he'd rather have some discomfort from a snip or the discomfort of struggling to feed another child for the next 18 years! (men are such babies and need to take on more responsibility in such things.)

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

In my opinion women are the responsible party to get "fixed" if they are done having kids. If you truly don't want anymore babies then you have the option to have several different procedures. I think the most permanent and most effective is the Essure procedure.

They place a small spring like fiber in the tubes. It has a chemical on it to promote cell growth and it causes the tissue in the tubes to grow their own plug. The doc can test it by putting dye in the tubes and examining it by way of X-ray or some other method of looking to see what the dye does.

It takes about an hour and then you may have some cramps like a mild period. After that day you are fine and back to work. My friend had it done in the mid morning and went out to eat with her husband at a really nice restaurant as soon as she was done.

http://essure.com/
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As for the rest of your question, if you think at some time in the future that you may want to become pregnant and have another child then continue birth control until you and your husband are sure and feel peace about the decision.

Another friend made her husband get a vasectomy after their 2nd "perfect" child was born. She was convinced life could not be more perfect. Fast forward 10 years and she was regretting not being able to get pregnant and have more children. They divorced after much conflict. She married a new husband and quickly had 2 more children. Had she not badgered her first husband into having the vasectomy he did NOT want they might still have been married and had those children.

It does not sound like you are ready. You have two other options. Have your husband get a vasectomy or get an iud, The IUD is painless and you have two options. The mirena which has the hornones in it which is good for five years or the paraguard which is nonhormonal and lasts for ten years. I decided to do an iud because I really did not want to be out of commission for two weeks and did not want to do something totally permanent. Good luck