Getting Child on Schedule

Getting a newborn on a set schedule is going to be like squeezing a watermelon through a keyhole. Impossible!

The only advice I can offer though, is to pick one place for the baby to sleep, and stick with it. My son (now 23 months) has slept in his own crib, in his own room, since day 3 of his life, and he's been a fantastic sleeper because of this. That's about all I can say.

Congratulations!
Lynsey

Trying to get a newborn on a schedule will keep you from retaining any sanity whatsoever. Newborns go through so many changes that a schedule really isn't possible. I certainly hope you have a contingency plan--what if you have complications and are still in the hospital a week after giving birth? What if you still haven't given birth when classes start?

One thing having a child taught me was to be flexible and go with the flow. That is what helped me stay sane.

G.,

You may have already heard it by now: Schedule for a newborn is highly unlikely.

Are your professors going to allow your newborn in class? If you get in the habit of baby-wearing from the start, you may be able to get away with it. It IS possible :)

It's only when they start to wake up to their surroundings that the profs seem to get upset with competition.

Also 0 bear in mind, you may wind up with a c-section - and after all I went through (DH wanted me back doing the laundry the week I was out - probably hurt myself the most doing this alone) I can say - it is not in your best interest - as in the rest of your life - to over do or push yourself.

There are goals and there is a childhood coming up that will never come your way again. Maybe you won't regret it if you miss it, but you haven't seen your newborn's face yet, either.

Truly I wish you luck - on all fronts.
M.

G.,
I have to agree with the others who questioned your ability to be in the classroom a week after having your baby. You have no idea when the baby will actually arrive. Most likely it will not happen on your schedule & you might end up having c-section which will make attending classes impossible.

I had my daughter last August and was totally exhausted for the first 6 weeks afterwards. I can't imagine trying to focus on grad school classes with a new baby in the house (I have a MA so I know what the workload is like). You and the baby will be much better off if you take a semester off. You will never recapture that special time.

I know this is really NOT what you want to hear but I think you should seriously consider holding off for a semester. I took 8 weeks of maternity leave and really needed every minute of that time to heal and cope with learning how to be a mom. It was A LOT harder than I ever expected. I have focused a lot of time and energy on my career and I honestly thought that I could keep up the same pace I had before if I just organized my time the right way. I read a lot of books about the proper schedule my baby should have but never could get her to cooperate. I finally threw out all of the books and just focused on my baby! Having a newborn meant putting my own needs aside. Trust me, you can't organize your way toward handling both school and baby that quickly. You can best take care of yourself by eliminating as much unnecessary stress as possible for the first 6 months with your baby. Best of luck to you as you make this tough decision & here's hoping you have a smooth delivery and a happy, healthy baby!!

HI G.

Babywise is a book and a method in which to but your child on a schedule. It is a 3 hour rotation of eat, play, sleep. Wake the baby to eat and also don't wait to feed if the baby is showing hunger cues. It can be started with a newborn but you may not see the exact schedule for a few weeks. The Baby Whisperer is another book that follows a similar routine. I suggest reading The Baby Whisperer. It is a great guideline. The key to the idea of a schedule is to stay flexable. This method worked for us. Both my kids were sleeping 6-7 hours through the night at 8 weeks old. They both napped and were overall happy well rested kids.

Good luck.

Let me know if you have any questions.
D. V

Hello G.:

I am a mother of two and went back to work after both children were born. Being that you will have a newborn it will be difficult to put the baby on a schedule right away. A newborn baby needs time to adjust to their surroundings etc. I hope you have help with child care as these things take time. Good Luck!! Wish you all the best.

Sorry to tell you this, but you are going to be sorely disappointed if you expect to stick on any kind of schedule with a newborn, INCLUDING when it comes into the world. A due of mid-June means you could very well still be pregnant when classes start up. And what if you have a c-section? You will not be able to go and sit in a class for a few weeks after that. And putting a newborn on a schedule can actually be detrimental to their health - they need to eat when they need to eat, and they need to sleep when they need to sleep. And sometimes they need to be held for hours on end. Depriving them of ANY of that is just not good parenting. You need to make other arrangements. Good luck....

Hi G.,

First of all Good Luck with your new arrival!!! I think it is going to be impossible to put a newborn on a schedule, however if you are lucky and have a content newborn hopefully they will sleep and eat for a few weeks while you adjust. I was never that lucky both of my kids had colic and I didn't have a schedule for quite a while. Try not to set yourself up for failure just take one day at a time. Is there anyway you can do some of your courses online? I did mine that way and it was a great help. Are you going to have help with the baby? It is going to be difficult even for you with stitches and trying to sit in class. Isn't there anyway you can take a few months off to heal and adjust to motherhood. I do admire your drive to finish school but you could possibly be taking on too much. Becoming a mom is so wonderful, but it is also very hard on you in the beginning. I hope all works out for you with your schooling and the new baby. Good luck!!

Maybe you could talk to your professor about getting the lecture online or getting his/her notes somehow. The first couple of weeks after giving birth are difficult for both baby and mommy. You are bleeding a lot, and there is often a lot of swelling so sitting in a comfortable chair is difficult at best. If you absolutely have to go to class, I would just take the baby with you and feed him/her as necessary. At that age they usually only wake up to eat or poop, and then they go right back to sleep. Good luck!

My advice is to not plan anything! You have no idea about labor or even what kind of baby it will be, a cryer or laid back. I would though, get a list of babysitters so that you can continue on your schedule, which may sound selfish, but until your schooling is over its going to be very hard. Good Luck. I wish I had the ambition to go to Grad School....but I got tired after a couple husbands and 2 kids!LOL

Dear G.,

I really feel for you and admire your determination, but in my experience, if you expect to get a newborn on a schedule within a week, you are setting yourself up for failure. Looking at all my friends and myself, I think the most stress that mothers can put themselves under is with being disappointed that things did not turn out the way they planned or devastated that things are not the way they thought they would be. Having a baby means you will have to "go with the flow", be it concerning how the birth will go, how nursing and feeding will go or how sleeping will go. There are no fixed rules and every baby is different. That also means every baby is unique and that is the beauty of it. The first four weeks will be the most intense of your life, but the good news is that your body gives you lots of hormones to deal with it. :-))
Be positive about it, I think that is the most important thing and be happy about any problem that you don't encounter. You can do it, I'm sure!

Hi G.,
I was in your shoes a year ago (just graduated with my doctorate this past weekend) and everyone laughed at me "knowingly" when I said I wanted to put my daughter on a schedule. I hate to say it, but they were right for the most part. Without being to discouraging, here are a few things that may help.
If you have a partner, plan on taking shifts at night. If you're breast feeding, invest in a good pump now and start trying to stock your freezer as soon as your milk comes in so it will ease your burden. Since your child will be confused about night and day for at least the first 3 months, plan on going with the flow as much as possible. This may mean sleeping during the day. I highly recommend a good swing (papasan I think is what we had), and a good sling or other baby carrier. It's the only way to get anything done when they just want to feel your body's warmth.
If you're in lecture classes, I would recommend recording lectures so you can listen to them while breastfeeding. If you required reading is on tape, buy it - otherwise recruit your spouse or a classmate to read to you while feeding. (I always had a few journal articles sitting by my rocking chair...)
The sleep deprivation won't hit you for a while, but when it does, you will feel like an idiot. I just couldn't keep a thought in my head long enough to write about it. A friend of mine said it felt like she had given birth to her brain and was left with nothing!
Accept ALL offers of help. I even hired a sitter one day for a few hours so I could do some reading, only to fall asleep on a pile of laundry! My hubby came home from work a few times so I could leave and study at the library. (If the baby is crying in another room, your mind will NOT stay focused.)
Above all, be prepared to let things slide a little, compromise a lot, and lean on everyone you can. It is worth it in the end, but you will have some rough days. Best of luck to you and I hope your baby is cooperative:-)
-Ann Marie

Hi and congrats!

I did not like Babywise - tried it once and it was not for me at all.

I think you need to put it in your head that babies are and will be UNpredictable. You need to tell yourself that you will just need to go with the flow. Just make sure you have the support from friends and family. If you are able to, ask your mom how she raised you?

I like Dr. Sears' parenting philosophy and if you can, read his books. :)

The only advice I can truly give is that you need to keep in mind that YOU are the adult don't let the baby control EVERYTHING that you do. If you need to do something, bring the baby with you. There's no such thing as a "schedule" BUT babies LOVE routine and they understand the pattern or routine...they have no concept of time or "it's 3:15pm, time to get changed."

Hang in there and things may seem more natural to you once you get used to having a new baby! Best wishes!

I was a single mom for 7 years. I worked full-time and went to school (pre-med at the time). The ONE thing that was a life-saver was breastfeeding and sharing my bed. Co-sleeping and nursing allowed me to sleep more. While my friends were up warming bottles, I simple rolled over and fed my baby. I actually slept while she nursed. You can get a co-sleeper if you don't want the baby in bed with you. This also saved money and time as I didn't have to make formula or sterilize anything.

Unfortunately, as a Mom and healthcare professional, I have to agree that you are going back too soon. There won't be a "schedule" in one week and your body will not be ready. Even with a complete natural delivery (vaginal birth, no drugs), your body still needs time to heal. Your uterus needs to go back to size or you may risk hemorrhaging, your hormones need to stabilize or the stress alone can put you at increased risk for post-partum depression. Take the time to heal before you tackle your studies or you may risk failing. I don't want to scare you, but I have been there. With a little time to adjust, you'll be ready to take on the world and be Super Mom. Good luck!

Hi G.,
Congratulations! What an exciting time for you. I have to tell you that babies (especially newborns) don't always have a "schedule". Most newborns will eat every two hours. But as they grow, they change. My sister in law told me when I had my first, "Once you think you've got their schedule down, they'll go and change it on you." AND SHE WAS RIGHT! There may not be a definitive, "this is how it will always be" schedule for quite a while. Your baby may eat and then need to eat 1 1/2 hours later instead of two or 3 hours later. My advice? Expect the unexpected and just go with the flow! When they're hungry feed them, when they're tired, let them sleep, when they're wet, change them. Your baby may sleep through the night at a month or 5 months. You never know. Hope I didn't scare you, just preparing you for the unknown :o) Congratulations again and good luck with school.

You have gotten some really great advice and I really hope you take it. Like most first time mothers you are being very unrealistic about what you can and can't accomplish. I know you are in school to make a better life for you and your child but how do you think you can be a full time student, take care of yourself physically and emotionally, and most most importantly, take care of this little helpless person who just came into the world. You CAN NOT put a 1 week old on a schedule. Yes, later on, some children adjust to schedules better than others. My advice, breastfeed, do not go back to school right away, get to know your baby, and let yourself heal.

No offense, but going back to school a week after delivery isn't really a good idea. If you end up with a c-section you can't even drive a car for 2 weeks. Your not being very realistic. You have no idea what labor is going to do to your body. Also, there is no getting a baby this small on a schedule. Everything at this age is on demand. Feeding, sleeping, changing. You are so sleep deprived you can't think straight. Believe it or not, there are reasons why work gives you 6 weeks off after delivery. It took me an entire month just to figure out my first born. If your smart you'll take more time then this. Believe me, you'll regret it if you don't.

I am sure everyone has said the same thing but there is no such thing as a schedule for a newborn. You have to just go with the flow for the first few weeks. Don't get hung up on the fact that you do not have a schedule. The good thing about newborns is that they sleep a lot which gives you time to sleep or study.

Good luck!

Hi G., Congrats on your upcoming arrival. I give you credit for going to grad school but I will say that a newborn makes his/her own schedule. You may get different responses but as a mother of 5 I'm not sure it can be done. I wish you happiness and a healthy baby. The first months are very important to baby's development and well being. Do the best you can. Grandma Mary

Hi G.,

My son will be a year in mid-June and he is still extremely unpredictable. Despite my best efforts to keep a schedule with him, he is happiest when he is calling the shots I think. This is just his temperment. It took me a while to give in to this and just go with the flow, but once I did we all felt so much better. I work from home full time, and have since he was about 15 weeks, so it's definitely possible to get other things done as long as you have some flexibility. I squeeze in work while he nurses and naps on my lap, when my husband gets home and after he goes to sleep. Basically I work around him because trying to get him to work around my needs was NOT working. My advice to you would be let your baby be who he or she is and relax and enjoy it as much as you can. You can find a way to make it work, I do not think you need to give up just adjust your expectations, allow for some flexibility in your schedule, and focus on your health and your baby. Only now as my son is approaching his first birthday do I really appreciate the fact that he has forced me to slow down and be present for nearly every minute of his first year--it really does go by sooo fast! Best of luck to you!

Get the book "twelve hours of sleep by twelve weeks old". It will really help you figure out a schedule and lead you through how to train your baby. It will be tough for you because for the first 6 weeks the baby will make it's own schedule (feeding and sleeping) but give it a shot, it really helped me.

Hi G., I highly recommend the book The Baby Whisperer. It really helped me understand my newborn and get a schedule going. The schedule is basically eat, play, sleep. While you won't be able to schedule naps at specific times of day, the baby can get into a good rhythm and you can get some stuff done. I did it with both my kids and the first couple of weeks weren't too bad, then they fall into a nice 2 nap schedule. Of course every kid is different, but they generally love routine and predictability. It makes them feel secure. You will definitely be sleep-deprived and your brain may not function like you're used to. It will be very difficult to go to school, but if you've got a good support system you can do it. Make sure you surround yourself with people who will support and encourage your returning to school. Boot any negativeity out of your life. Good luck! Feel free to email me if you have any questions.

Dear G.,

As a mother or 4, I say...good luck with that one. Why do you have to go to school so soon? Stay home and bond with your baby. You will never have another chance to do that. There will alway be an opportunity to go to school. Becoming a mother will be the single most important thing you will ever do. I believe you will know that once that baby is born and you hold him or her in your arms. It is the most wonderful feeling and everything else in the world will pale in comparison.

God bless you dear,
T. E.
www.LovinLifeWithHomeBiz.com

Good luck! I finished my master's thesis proposal on my maternity leave last August/September, so I can understand your need to pursue your education. Is it possible, as some have suggested, that you get permission to work at home to stay caught up and then attend classes as soon as you are able? Unless your delivery is scheduled, you could go a couple of weeks sooner or later than your due date. My second child was 3 weeks early, which allowed me to register on time, but that is not a guarantee. (Thankfully, he was over 7 pounds and perfectly healthy.) Rooming in/co-sleeping are your best bets for getting enough rest. If you plan to nurse, you can do a LOT once you get the hang of it! I learned to type one-handed while nursing. My little guy was also portable for a while and I could nurse and hold him with one arm while doing a lot around the house. Another option (once you are safe to go to classes) might be to ask permission to bring the baby for a little while. Again, you can nurse discreetly and the baby will [possibly] sleep. I have had my degree completion delayed by several years due to having children in graduate school and while that has been frustrating for me, being a mom is the best thing in the world! Just be prepared for the possibility of taking a leave of absence for a semester if you need to. Good luck!

Hi G.,
I'm afraid it's very unrealistic to expect a one week old baby to be able to follow any sort of a schedule. You're expecting too much of your baby, and of you. It will be rough no matter what, the first week with a newborn is rough even if you have no place to go!
If you can take baby to class in a sling and nurse when she wakes up, that may be your best option. Sleep when you can - it's going to need to be you that conforms to the baby's schedule and not the other way around.
Make sure your professor(s) know your situation. If you should have a cesarean birth (hope not but about 1 in 3 moms do), it's highly unlikely you'll be able to go to classes a week after major surgery. Even after a vaginal birth, most women are lucky if they are wearing clean underwear after a week.
When I had my first, I went back to work fulltime at 8 weeks and my baby had pretty much made up a schedule that worked well. With my 2nd, I went back at 11 weeks and he was not sleeping through the night, not scheduled in any way.
Good luck and set up whatever help you can.

In my experience a baby has no real schedule for the first few months and even then they will change it up on you. I found it easiest to try to feed every two to three hours but it didn't always work that way, for instance when they have a growth spurt they often eat every hour. Also, in the beginning, babies take up to an hour for a feeding because they are learning how to nurse, your milk is coming in and it wears them out so they fall asleep. I know this isn't really what you wanted to hear but generally speaking babies are mostly eating or sleeping in the first few months. I found by the time I had changed, fed and cleaned up my daughter there was barely time for tummy time and books. By the time they are four months old they start being able to be awake for two hour stretches, feedings don't take as long and you're able to get in play time.

I hope this helps and I hope you have some good back-up help while you will be at school.

Good luck- the baby will get on a schedule when he/she is ready! Also keep in mind that their "schedule" changes 4-6 weeks!

The best thing you can do is sleep when the baby sleeps and try to do your work during naps as well! The good news is that newborns sleep most of the day and you should be able to get some things done during the day.