I have a little boy that just turned 3 and I am having the hardest time getting him to stay in bed and go to sleep. We have taken all of his bedtime privileges away at this point - he used to have toys in his bed and a flashlight. At first we limited him to 1-2 toys in bed with his flashlight and we would leave the hallway or bathroom light on for him to play by for awhile. We have a normal bedtime routine, he takes his vitamin and brushes his teeth followed by family hugs and individual hugs with Mommy and Daddy and he always hugs and kisses his baby brother good night as well. He does sometimes take naps at his grandmas during the day but he doesnt fall asleep till 3PM usually and sleeps till 5 or after sometimes - I do realize this is part of the problem with getting him to bed at night and I have discussed this with his grandma but she doesnt seem to be making any changes to his nap routine! And he shares a room with his baby brother and keeps him awake for hours on end when he should be sleeping as well. We do not have an extra bedroom to put his brother in so they do have to share a room. He gets up between 7:30 and 8:30 every morning so it isn't like he sleeps too late in the mornings. We are lucky if he falls asleep by 11PM some nights, so we are having a power struggle for 3 hours some nights! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
My name is K. with 3 kids. My youngest is 3 and we had to just leave him in his bed. He might cry himself to sleep but that is the only way we could get him to stay in his bed. Good luck.
I have one word for you...consistancy. Put him to bed at the same time every day, set a betime routine so he'll know when it's getting to be that time. Put him in bed. When he gets out, put him back (when doing this, don't say anything to him, no expression on your face, just put him back and get out of the room) keep doing this for a bit until he stays. This could take a few weeks before he just stays when you put him, but he'll learn. The reason I say don't speak to him just put him back and no expression on your face...if he sees he's making you angry, he'll do it just to get a rise out of you and if you talk to him, he'll do it for the attention. Out of 8 kids I only had one that I had to do that with because I worked in the early night and his dad didn't have him in a routine. The rest of my kids have been in the same routine since birth so they just went from a crib to a bed and I didn't have to worry about them getting out.
I had this exact same problem with my little girl, my mother in law watched her, and I told her if she is going to take a nap, it needs to be earlier in the day, and only for like an hour, and well she tends to forget that she is not the mom...and it never worked until one night after having to stay up late with my little girl, I told my mother in law, that since she couldnt listen to me, my daughter would go to daycare, and after that...I never had any trouble again, sometimes its just laying down the rules. and with the power struggles at night he's at that age, just be consistant, and stand your ground and it'll be ok :)
I was just glancing and I am not sure if anyone has said anything about him getting to the age where he has a sense of fear. In that dreams are now scary and bed time is scary. My son just turned four and he has had bad dreams a lot. So, yes my night time battle is bad. Ironically enough before my husband went to Iraq my son would scream as a part of his nightly ritual to go to bed. Now I can get him to bed with just a minimal battle. I think this phase is a long one because my nine year old will still say things scare her. I am not a good one with sleeping because I did co-sleep a long time with my son and now I have another one that I am still nursing and might be here for a long time.
Back to the subject though. If my son gets up in the middle of the night after say 3-4 I just let him sleep on a palate I set up next to my bed and we make it way into the morning.
I haven't had him take a regular nap since he was 2.5 I guess. Maybe your son doesn't need one at all any more. I am no expert but if he gets the amount of sleep he needs all at night then that should be good. Maybe a short nap in the middle of the day would freshen him up so to speak if he is crabby!
I don't know if any of this helps but I just thought I would throw it out there! A rutine is really good though!
C.,
We went through the same thing with our daughter a few years ago. And I feel for you about the mother-in-law thing. It's my own mother that babysits for my daughter, and it's hard talking to her about how I want my child reared... I can only imagine having to deal with a MIL that doesn't listen! What I finally had to do was take drastic action all on my own. If you work a normal 40-hour work week (with weekends off), this will work better than if you have to work around a weekend schedule.
I believe that mothers and MIL usually do have good intentions, they're just lax on the follow-through. Usually only giving it a shot for a few days after a sit-down chat. I started off having a heart-to-heart with my mother on a Wednesday afternoon when I picked up my daughter. I pleaded with her to PLEASE make sure she took a nap right after lunch and only slept for an hour and a half. Then the next morning I woke my daughter up (yes, on purpose) at 5:30 am. That coupled with my mom actually trying to get her down earlier in the afternoon worked. She still fought sleep the first night or two, but by the weekend, we were on our way to a normal nap schedule... plus I was able to take control of it over the weekend.
This was when my daughter was two. By the time she was 3, she no longer napped... at all. If all else fails, simply enjoy the fact that he still naps!
One other thing you could try is putting the boys to bed at different times. Perhaps you could put the baby down an hour earlier, making a slight concession on your older son's bedtime. Make it seem like a treat, and take the time to read a book to just him, and give him some extra time with the mommy and daddy without the baby around. It might be worth a try.
Good luck!
In addition to what the other two moms suggested, you might also try taking the baby out of their room and allowing him to fall asleep elswhere (temporarily), so your 3 yo does not have the power to keep his baby brother awake, along with trying to manipulate to stay up later. Once your oldest is asleep, you can move the baby back to his crib. We've Being firm is typically the best avenue to take. Being consistent is key.
Yeah, mother in laws are great.... right?:) My husband and I had this same problem with our twins and found the best thing to do is put a schedule in writing so that there is no question of what they should be doing during the day. Simply explain (kindly) that this is affecting everyone in a negative way and ask that she not allow your son to take a nap after a certain time. Make sure she knows, under no uncertain terms, that he should be allowed to take a nap... just not so late that it will keep him up at bed time and in turn keep everyone else up too! Ask her to put herself in your place.
Well I would have to say that Grandma needs to help first. Letting a child sleep at three till five or six. I would let mine take a nap around 12. If he wakes up around 7 in the morning 12 would be appropriate for a nap. Then wake him around 2. Get him to have a snack afterwards and let him play outside or something to keep him awake till bed time. Hope this helps. You could really get Grandma to help out and if not let her keep the child at night for once ;-) lol
C.. I am married with a son who is 11 months and a daughter who just turned 5. I would strongly suggest to be consistent. I personally know with our daughter we literally had to place her back in bed roughly 7-10 times a night. Either she had to go to the restroom, wanted to tell us that she loved us, forgot to brush her teeth or wanted a drink of water. We just stated no it is bedtime and placed her back in. It is really rough in the beginning, but once they realize that you aren't playing around-they tend to break.
Hello C.!
I had this problem with my daughter and I would like to let you know what helped with her. Does your boy like Chuck E. Cheese? Well, if he does, go to this web-site -
http://www.chuckecheese.com/html/cal_all6.html
You can print right from your printer a reward certificate for a good nights sleep! He has 2 weeks to mark out the days. when he finishes every night for 2 weeks in bed, he can take the reward certificate to Chuck E Cheese and get 10 free tokens!
My daughter LOVED the fact that she was going to go to chuck e cheese and play games! the first night she cried a lot, but as the week went on she was so proud that she got to mark her days off.
I hope this works! Good Luck!
L. Kay
P.S. I can't be too supportive about the "you know how mom-in-laws are" Mine lives FAR FAR AWAY.. in Idaho! :-) lol
