Generation Gap

For ME, the right age is when I think my son would be OK. He is 3. Right now, he has had sleepovers with his cousins and his best friend (my best girlfriend's son.) I can't imagine myself sending my son anytime soon, if I'd never met the parent's before. If I knew them, I would not hesitate. I was allowed to have sleepovers starting at 5, but I could not sleepover somewhere, if the parent's were strangers. Right about 7-8 parents felt like I was educated and confident enough to keep myself really safe. They weren't concerned as much them with knowing the other family well. I think I will approach things with my son the same way.

I think it really depends on the child. At 7, I could handle myself. I was not an easy target, because I couldn't be manipulated, or separated from the group. My sister, they did not let her sleepover until she was 10. It was for her own good. She was easily influenced, and manipulated. She was not a very "strong" child, and my parents decided she couldn't go until she gained those skills. Point is, some kids are ready...some kids aren't. The parents know their children.

Oh, I'm 30...if that matters.

Parenting differences. I have a 22 and an 11 year old daughter. Both started having sleep overs at five. Obviously since a sleep over requires at least a second body there were other parents who thought five was just fine.

I remember a post a few months back where a mom proudly declared she would never let her daughter spend the night at someone's home. God college is going to be fun for her daughter!! :p

So, totally parenting styles!

I think it's a personal preference/maturity question. My DD is 5 and she would be fine with sleepovers at friends that she knows well. I mean really where is the difference between sleeping over at grandma's and grandpa's and sleeping over at a friends house that you see fairly often?
We have one or two same aged friends on the other hand who can barely spend an hour away from mom for a playdate. They just aren't "there" yet in terms of emotional maturity.
Just like some kids walk into school on the first day of K and other will cry for their mother for two weeks...

I think it's parenting preferences. It's only a generational change in the sense that this preference is happening in this particular generation. A lot of these things are based on what everybody else does - in other words, what's "in" in childraising.

There are differences between going to camp (for one week or two months!), sleepovers, and slumber (non-slumber) parties. One might set a different age/maturity level for each one, depending on the child.

I will tell you one thing that HAS changed. We are all much much more award of the dark side of life now. The internet and the 24 hour news cycle have opened our eyes to what lies out there and just how sick some can be. We have learned how prevelant child molestation is really-back in the day it was a hush hush-that is IF you were believed.
This along with a host of other dangerous possibilities are front and center in our collective conciousness now. Forty years ago our parents were wonderfully naive about all of this -they never thought of all that could go wrong because it wasn't discussed or even thought of really. Just watch Madmen for a glimpse into this time-its pretty fascinating.

Probably a bit of both. I'm in my 40s and consider myself a middle-of-the-road parent. I don't helicopter but also don't allow total freedom. For instance, I have left our 9-year-old home alone if I need to run to the store. I know other parents who would gasp at the thought of even doing that. I wouldn't leave him home for an hour+, but trust him enough for 15 minutes to do just fine. I wouldn't hesitate at all on an overnight sleepover in first grade. Preschool, maybe, but first grade, no.

By first grade, I was walking to school on my own as a kid and it was a long walk. I walked to stores on my own (with friends, but no parent) by nine or so. It was a good time and helped me grow up. At 16, I was an exchange student and went to Sweden. The sponsoring group put me in charge of all of the remaining kids as we moved on to airports beyond Helsinki (where the rep got off). The responsibility was a good thing and I'm more mature because of it.

I don't think 7 is too young for sleepovers as long as the child can handle being away from home. When my daughter was 8, I sent her to a wilderness survival camp in another state, lol.

I remember going to slumber parties (in the 70's) when I was 6 or 7 years old. I started going to week long sleep away summer camp when I was 8. My kids have been going to and hosting sleepovers since they were 3 with close friends and 4 or 5 with school friends. My older son went camping for a week with another family when he was 4 and started going to week long sleep away camp when he was 8, and my younger son will probably start sleep away camp next summer when he is 8. My kids are pretty competent, confident kids. Around here most kids participate in things like sleep overs and summer camp, but there are some that don't. I'm not sure if it is because of fear on the parents part, or if the children are too immature. I feel bad for those kids because they do get left out of most of the socialization.

I know I first started staying the night at my friend's house while I was still in kindergarten, so I was 5. :)

I am the owner if that post. For my daughter, still using night pull ups is only 1 of many things that seperate her from her peers. She's very young minded (acts, learns more like a 5 yr old, has IEP at school). These differences are the reason and not so much that 7 is too young. I actually think 7 is plenty old for spending the night away from home. My other child is younger and would be fine in a sleepover situation and he's 4, but extremely mature.

It started when "playdates" started. It must be a generational thing.

I think it depends on the kid.
my daughter has had sleep overs with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents from the age of 2 on up.
She J. turned 6 and is in the 1st grade and if she was invited to a friends sleepover I'd be estatic and encourage her to go. Although , I'd leave it up to her reminding what exactly it is and how she can't go sleep with the parents in the middle of the night. She gets scared at night sometimes so I think next year or as this year progresses and that fades away I wouldn't even give her the reminder we wouldnt be there in the middle of the night.

If she was a solid sleeper and didnt have nightmares often I would've let her with friends from school in K if she was invited, but I know she would have declined at 5. Right now I'm sticking with cousins, and close friends who I know not for any reason other than because i know what she can handle. I'm hoping this all resolves itself in the next few months and hoping she gets an invite after that...I'd be so happy for her!

My oldest never slept over at someones house until he was 12, besides family. He has gone on trips with the church group first was a weekend and he's gone the last two years for a week at a time with them and he's 13 now. There are so many things that go on at sleep overs that it's scary as a parent but that's just me. But when my oldest goes and spends the night at a friends house its someone I know not just one of his friends. I know the family.