Frustrated Mom - El Monte,CA

Best advice, get over your hard time with the discipline. :) I know she's your only girl and she's the baby, but you do NOT want a spoiled teen in your future.

My girls have both hit the "terrible twos" a bit early... right at 18 months. It's like a little switch flips and all of a sudden you have this monster on your hands. :) For hitting, I hold their hands so they can't hit and say "we don't hit" or "no hitting" or something to that effect.

Tantrums are best ignored so long as they're not hurting themselves or anyone else. If they're going to hurt themselves, put them in a safe place where they can tantrum out and ignore it.

If the "no's" are in response to something she's supposed to be doing (like helping pick up toys or something) then you can tell her one or two more times, then FORCE her to do it. In the picking up toys example, you can take her hand, close her fist around a toy, and release her hand once it's over the toy box. I had to do that with my older one, we'll see what happens with this younger one...

*sigh* The progeny of two stubborn adults is stubborn children, in case anyone was wondering... :)

the last thing you probably want to do right now is read a book, BUT, "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" was a life saver for me! And it's super easy to read, especially for frustrated moms who don't have time! Lol... I know, that was me ;)) Seriously though, good book that gives easy tools, that WORK! It really helps you to understand your toddler through each development and stage. It's a must read. Good luck, and hang in there!

I feel for you ! Sometimes age 2 is tricky ! In my house, age 3 was super tricky.

When she hits, pick her up immediately. Look her in the face and say "No hitting" Remove her from the situation and talk through what she might need or talk about feelings.

If she tantrums, let her have a tantrum in a safe area. This is how a toddler grows socially and emotionally.

Girls can be more emotional than boys ! No is a common word at this age ! She is expressing her new found independence.

If you ask her to come over to read a story and she says "No". Then, just start reading the story to yourself. Chances are she might come over to hear the story.

If you ask her to put her jammies on(with help) and she says no. This is not a choice (or it wasn't in my house). It is time for bed. Tell her that you will have to help her put them on.

Give her a few simple choices during the day. Do you want THIS red cup or THIS blue cup? So, she has control over a few choices.

After 50 or so times, the consistency will pay off! It is not easy w/ every child ! Each child has a different set of dynamics. I was a spirited child myself. My Aunts still tell me all about it...

Lose the "hard time with discipline". 2 is the age they test you and push the envelope. If you don't discipline her now, she will be walking all over you well into her teen years, and if you think it's bad now.....you ain't seen nothin'. Girls are harder, and as moms we have to be tough. When she has a tantrum, ignore it and when she is calm and over it, talk to her about it. Tell her why it's wrong and why you won't tolerate this behavior. When she hits, you immediately remove her from the situation and take her to her room and tell her what she did wrong and why it's wrong calmly, away from her brothers or the scrutiny of anyone else, so she knows you mean business. Good Luck.

Can she talk yet? My son could talk early, so I didn't have that challenge but I've heard that one of the biggest parts of the terrible 2s is that their brains have the words but their mouths can't say what they think. And they can get really frustrated. If that is part of it, look into baby sign language and see if helping her use words more helps her cry less. Good luck!

If youn think you are frustrated, try your new 2yr old. She wants something, she cannot talk as yet, nobody understands her, the only word of objection she knows is no, and she is getting disciplined for having an opinion on not wanting warm clothes when she is hot, or drinking milk that makes her tummy hurt, or wanting to explore and mommy won't let her...the list goes on.

Watch and observe your 2yr old and learn from her. She will teach you what makes her tick and you will know what is necessary discipline or what is just her being tired, hungry or frustrated. It's natural M..

Try the book 1-2-3 Magic. It works great for my toddler.