Friend Who Owes Me Money

I would comment on her FB page.

'Hey, congrats on the cut/color job! That's awesome! I'm soooo looking forward to some salon time! Guess that 100 bucks is gonna come in handy! Wink wink!'

I would simply tell her that you understand things are tight, but they are for you too and you need the money now. It has been way too long, and fact is it looks like she is putting you off because she never plans to pay you back. My BIL was the same way, until we really called him out on it, than he finally started making payments. Best of luck.

Been there,done that.

I asked for my $400 and she decided I was a horrible person and we couldn't be friends anymore. EVERYBODY was shocked. It still bothers me three years later. I never got a single penny back from her.

You "treated" her to a concert. Plain and simple. I personally could NEVER do that. Not a fan of taking advantage of my friends.

SINCE she recently texted you (and obviously remembers this debt), I think it's OK to respond with something like..."I understand...times are tough all over...if you want to pay me over a few weeks or months, that's OK with me." This way you are letting her know you still expect payment, acknowledge the debt and allow her to pay over time. I guess I'd rather get $25 per month that zero overall, right?

send her a text saying "hey, i know things are tight so go ahead and send me $20 a week so i can pay off this credit card that i bought the tickets on"

instead of letting it boil and fester - ask her...COMMUNICATE with her...let her know how disappointed you are that her priorities are just a tad different than yours and that if you owed someone money, you would ensure at least $10 went their way...

I will say that I never "loan" money I can't afford to lose. Just so I avoid situations like this...so if I pay for something upfront - I can expect to lose the money - although my friends aren't like that...while I realize it wasn't exactly a "loan" in your book....

If you let it go - you will have bitterness because you have been jilted by someone you trust. YOU have to live with yourself AND your husband....pray about it and you will find your answer and peace with it....maybe not exactly what you want to hear - but I can tell you that saying a prayer and asking for guidance will help more than you will ever know!!

I'd respond to her email and ask her if she could give you like 25 per month?

How important is that friendship to you ? I would contact her and ask her to begin payments, saying that you must pay off that credit card bill and her portion is overdue and drawing interest. Explain that it is a DEBT she owes! Maybe she didn't tell her husband that she was "buying" a ticket for the concert, but that it was "gifted" to her, so that is why she was going to the concert. So now, she is trying to figure out how to come up with the money with so many budget challenges. I would try to collect one more time (to appease your husband and because it is the right thing to do) and then if she doesn't pay, I would put the issue behind me and remember that that person is not trustworthy.

You could try one more time - especially since your husband would like you to. Don't get your hopes up, but contact her.

Let the woman know that you hope she will pay you back by the end of October (more than a month away) for the ticket to that concert - "remember that concert?" - so that you can balance your books. Let her know that you *might* be willing to accept payments, as long as everything is paid by the end of this year.

If she doesn't respond within a week, or if she gives any kind of excuse, don't wait any longer. Write it off as an enriching educational experience. And please, do learn this lesson. Friends don't let friends indulge them that way; they say, "No, I'll pay my way or not go, and I'll send you the money *before* you order the tickets."

I would be inclined to write her off as a friend, too. Permanently. Don't people realize that their FB pages are practically public information??

YOU are a good friend. I learned the hard way too. I decided NOT to buy anything in advance unless I had the CASH in hand before.
As to this friend, the flaunting of wasted money would provoke me to ask for $20 per week until it is paid off. It might cost the friendship, but it would be impossible for me to not feel screwed over and hurt.

I once owed a friend for something she picked up on a trip we went on. We got back and into our crazy lives and I completely forgot. It was a few months later that I remembered and payed her that day. She admitted that she felt weird asking me, I told her to please remind me if it ever happens again because I hate to owe money! Usually I don't borrow from friends to begin with but in this case she put the transportation from the airport to hotel on her card. I felt horrible. I also never loan to friends or family. If I feel that they really need the money I give it to them with no strings attached.

In your case, you should mention it to her. Let her know that you can't afford to gift her the concert and are willing to take payments.

.

I know exactly what you are going through! We have a friend who owes us $1200.00. It is my husband's problem to deal with. We were just talking about it tonight and then I read you post. I don't want to pester my husband about it but we have been waiting for months for him to pay us back. If he doesn't have the money, he should just tell us or send a little at a time but he has told my husband on more than one occasion that he would stick a check in the mail.

With your friend, just keep in mind that all those things she is spending money on may be going straight onto a credit card. She really may not have the cash. That's not an excuse for her. She NEEDS to pay you back. I would ask her to pay a little at a time like $25 a month. Or ask her what she can afford.

Love Missouri MK's idea of commenting on her facebook page.

I would do what your husband said. This is not fair and shes not a very good friend if shes doing this to you. If she can get her hair done, she can pay you back, so maybe YOU could get your hair done!

She knows she owes you. I'd respond to her email and say you understand how times are tough, so maybe she can pay you $20 or $25 a month? If she says yes, hold her to it. If she doesn't follow through after that, I'd cut her off, and call it a lesson learned.

Argh, how frustrating. I'd be tempted to comment (privately) on how she can have the nerve to not make good on her word & pay me back, yet discuss her ridiculous spending habits on Facebook. I'd love to see her response. I just don't have the energy for people that take advantage & don't honor their world. For me, it's not really about the money, it's about following through when you say you'll do something. I'd also be reevaluating the friendship.

ETA - even if she paid for the frivolous items with a credit card, she could still buy you a Visa gift card with it, or something along those lines.

Ask her for the money. Tell her you need it asap and to send it to you PayPal. If she says she doesn't have it, tell her that you didn't have it either when you fronted her the cash for the ticket. Send her a letter in writing too.

You could take her to small claims for it, if you really wanted to--FYI. Not saying you would go that far but sometimes people need to learn they can't go around screwing people over.

I could see maybe if she lost her job, scrimping and saving just to get by and she had sent you a note that she would pay you back asap.

Then again, if she doesn't pay you back, sometimes you need to learn a lesson that sometimes "money lent is a gift" and if you don't see it that way, don't lend it. Plus, with all the electronic ways of transferring money, like isn't there an app for that?

Anyway, sometimes you have to choose: Are you willing to lose her friendship over this?

I'm over making those that have wronged me feel better about me. I get to the point now and none of this--"I was going through my finances the other day and I realized you hadn't paid me back". How about telling her straight up: "I lent you money months ago. I gave you ample time to show some integrity and you haven't manned up to pay me back. I need my money yesterday." Be an honest, strong woman! You don't need to sugarcoat jack to ask her for the money she owes you.

Well if she texted you and said that she would pay you in a while, then she remembers that she owes you the money. I would reply to her and tell her that you are catching slack for not having been paid and could she possibly pay you back $10 every 2 weeks.

M.

I would let it go. I'm not a confrontational person though.

I think you need to let it go & take it as a learning experience. I'm so glad I learned early on to never loan money,expecting to get it back. If you're not in the position to give the money, don't loan it.

I would compromise with my husband and respond to her email with the statement that you need the money now. I'd even (hopefully tactfully) comment on the new hair cut and coloring and suggest that there must be a way she could pay you. If she doesn't respond to this, have an agreement with your husband that you can let the matter drop.

Since she lives so far away, I wouldn't be concerned that she'd be angry with me. It wouldn't be a valued friendship lost.

Let it go...and make sure you get cash before you buy the next round of tickets!

I would ask her for the money. Everyone is tight on cash nowadays and she has to know that she can't expect you to just forget about it. I like the idea of setting up a payment plan of $10-$20 a week until it's paid up. Hope it works out and you get paid!!

Awkward!!!!

I would maybe ask if she sent you the payment because you never received it and you would feel horrible if the check were lost or stolen and then see where that goes. I'm guessing she might have forgotten all about it.

Good Luck

Unfortunately, she will probably never pay you back no matter what you do.
But I would ask for it anyway. She doesn't deserve to have her feelings considered. She basically stole the money. If she was really having money issues it would be different and I would let it go and consider it a lesson learned to get the money first before paying for something like that again.

I know just how you feel. My friend had no money the other day. I had $9 in my purse and didn't need anything before child support came in just a couple of days. So I gave it to her.

She has been having such a hard time emotionally. Her husband moved out and in with his long time girlfriend, my friend didn't know about her, and he won't give her any money. Her birthday was this weekend and he finally gave her some money to pay some bills. She went to the beauty salon, got her hair colored, cut, waxed all kinds of places, pedicure, manicure, etc...and I didn't get my money back. No one will go hungry or without but still, it would have been nice for her to say thanks and here's your cash.

It sounds like she's irresponsible with money. My dad has always told me that any money loaned to friends or family should be considered a gift when it is given. And let me tell you, since I haven't been a teenager for quite a while now, my dad is one smart dude! LOL It is better to preserve the relationship than to let $100 ruin it. If this problem keeps happening again and again, then you might want to re-examine your friendship or stop spotting her the cash. Otherwise, just eat it and be done with it. Most friends are great for some things but not so great for others. This friend is obviously not so great with the "I'll get right back to you with that" stuff. Good luck!

This is obviously bothering you and rightfully so. It seems your friend is an irresponsible spender and "borrower."

This is also an instance where e-mail/texting come in handy vs. picking up the phone, a lost art.

I would e-mail her (texting imo would be tacky) and say "I hate to bring this up and I almost forget, but was going thru my finances the other day and was wondering if you have the money for that great concert we saw. Even if you can give me $20 a week, that would be great."

I learned the hard way about holding things in.

Good luck and try and get at least half what's due you. She dug her grave by boasting about her expenditures.