For the Seriously Devout Cosleepers Out There

Hmmm... tough one.

Okay, I'm going to throw out some suggestions.

First, is your older nightweaned? I'm assuming she is. I nursed my older daughter till that age and she definitely was by that point... but correct me if I'm wrong.

Also, will another mattress fit in there? We have our setup like this:
queen + king side by side on the floor. 15 mo and I have the king and husband has the queen. If we need to allow my 8 yr old in for any reason, we still have room to do so.

Also, I was single mom w/the 8 yr old when she was younger and we co-slept like this: moved her to twin IN the room until she was comfortable.

Another thing that might work is to turn the mattresses sideways and sleep with your upper body on the twin, if that makes sense. That might let you fit baby against wall, you, older, husband in that order. Not sure though if that would be enough room for you all.

There is a co-sleep forum at MDC (mothering.com discussion forum) if you're interested.

Setup is really going to depend on whether you can fit or afford another mattress in there, I think. Otherwise, you could step up the nightweaning for the baby and put them both in a room together and see how that goes.

:( Wish I could be more help. Feel free to message me.
-M.

I think it's great that you have chosen to co-sleep among other things. Dr. Sears is a big advocate on co-sleeping and in his book, The Baby Sleep Book he talks about how to transition out, maybe it would be helpful. I think my only suggestion is to look at it this way, you co-sleep because you think it is very important for your children but what is also extremely important for your children is having a strong marital relationship, you kind of have to decide what is more important in the whole picture. MY opinion it is to provide them with show them a good marriage and togetherness. I also agree that it may be a good thing to transition both kiddos together, that way they have eachother. Good luck and good for you for the choices you have made as a parent and for not letting others get in your way or make you second guess them!

I don't have any really good advice except that it might be an easier transition if they both sleep together in one of their beds- maybe a twin mattress on the floor in their room? Tough question. We have an occasional family bed thing going with a 5 y.o. 3 y.o. and 5 m.o. and while I enjoy it I do not get a ton of sleep so I can relate to being torn on what to do.

I also co sleep with my three and a half year old (although we don't nurse- I wish we would have) and I love having her there. She does have her own bed and it used to be in her own room. The few times she did sleep in there she did the same as your little one. She woke up screaming, crying, and having a fit. Her bed is now in my room. She usually still sleeps with me but once in a while she'll decide to sleep in her own bed. Is that an option for you? To have her bed in your room? That way she'll still with you but in her own space.
Good luck! You seem to have a lot going on right now.

We did not actually cosleep but we did have the daughter that showed up in our bed every night until she was around 10. We just would nudge her and tell her it was time to go to her bed and carry her to bed. We started out slowly and eventually had it down to just a few minutes in bed with us and one night she stayed in her bed all night. I should mention she did have sleep apnea when she was younger so she never slept well. I don feel you need to stop cosleeping with the baby just explain to your other daughter that she is the big girl now and let her know that if she needs you during the night you are right there.