First Time Mother at 43 - Harwich,MA

I had my first son at 39 and my second at 41. I really think I'm a better mom than I would have been as a younger mom. My oldest is almost 4 and it's been the best 4 years ever.

Congratulations. I know it is scary, but you CAN do this and I bet you will be a great M..
I can't think of any words of comfort and wisdom. Can you spend time with someone with a baby to get comfy?

Hi, I had my one and only at 43 11 months a one week. ( Squeeked her in before 44) It is the best thing I ever did. It is a good excuse to try to stay young. There are many benefits of being older. I also have several friends in the same boat and they are thrilled. 43 is the new 33!

Yes, of course you can do it, and congratulations! :) I will be 46 in January and my youngest is 4 1/2 yrs. old. Other than being referred to as "grandma" sometimes, it's great! lol It's really kind of irritating when people (it's only happened maybe 3 times) mistake me for his grandma! You know, with age comes wisdom. Enjoy the experience and have fun!! :-D

Amen to all the comments you have gotten so far.

I was a later-in-life mommy too. My second was born right after I turned 42. Our two daughters charm us and exasperate us in equal measure, but we would walk through a firestorm for them. You'll know what I'm talking about when you set eyes on your brand-new little one. Nothing like mommy love K. M!

All my best to you and your family. Congratulations!

E.

Sure you can do it. I am 44 with a 3, 10,13, and 16 year old. Just take it one day at a time. It will be a blast. I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything!

Congrats!

I have one (I was 39 when I had him; he was welcome but not planned), two (I was 43 when we started the process, he was adopted when I was 45) and surprise (HUGE surprise- I was a month shy of 46 when I had him).

All boys are reasonably healthy. The final pregnancy was pretty tough. My advice is to take supreme care of yourself while pregnant, and that old nugget - after the baby comes - sleep when the baby sleeps (if you can). Do what works after that - if a baby is warm, fed, and loved, the rest is gravy. Best wishes!

ETA: I have a lot more patience -and resources- than I had at 20-something but a lot less energy. Just take the best care of your body possible so you're as much fun as you can manage to be and are around as long as possible after your baby is grown.

Just completed the adoption of our 21 mos old ... I was 41 when he was placed with us for foster care. You can do it!!

Congratulations!
I had my son at 39. Totally doable!
And it's nice raising a child when you're not paying off student loans, establishing a career, trying to make your way up the earning chain.
You'll love it!

It will be fine.
Just take your prenatal vitamins and eat healthy and go to your appointments.

LOTS of women I know, had kids in their 40's, and their pregnancies were fine and their kids are still fine.

I had my 2nd child, in my 40's. It was fine. My son is fine. And I am fine and did fine when he was born.

I am 48 and my son is ten.. I have MORE energy than many of the younger parents at my son's school... If you put your mind to it, you can do it... I like to think that at 48 and being an older parent.. I am a more "apparent" parent.. :) your age and wisdom will pay off..... get your rest, eat well and moreover, think positive!! at any age, a baby is blessing.. but in my opinion, when in your 40s and having conceived... that is more than a blessing... the stats are what they are.. it really is harder to conceive when older.. so the fact that you did.. WOW..... I would be thrilled..

Your child will be blessed to have older and wiser parents. Congratulations...I am so thrilled for you both.

My only advice is relax, get rest, drink lots(water), exercise, take lots of pictures throughout pregnancy and delivery and life. Oh..and hang on...parenting is a bumpy ride-but the best ride in the world!!!

Good luck and best wishes!!

Do what your doctor tells you to do in order to take care of yourself and your precious little one. My mother was in her late thirties and early forties when her children were born. She always said that her children kept her young! And I think I benefited from having a wiser mama.

oh I'm so jealous! I have 3 children but want a 4th so bad. I love babies and watching them grow, IMO it's just the best life has to offer really. Trust me, when you have your baby in your arms you will be asking yourself why the heck you didn't do it sooner LOL.
Congrats mama, you will be fine!

I had a baby last year at the age of 40. He is a treasure! I hope to have more:)

With age comes wisdom :) I will be 42 in a few months and my youngest is only 3. I don't have tons of energy for throwing kids in the air and running full speed all day but we have fun. Congrats!

Hi, K.! Yes, you can do it, doll. You have more life experience than younger mothers so you should be better prepared to lend guidance to your child. (I had my son at age 29.) I would recommend enrolling in a child birth class and read as many books about caring for infants that you can get your hands on. Here is something I discovered the hard way that no one told me: bundle or swaddle your baby before you put them down to sleep as it makes them feel secure. This is why they do it in the hospital nursery. This helped my son finally sleep through the night in his crib. I also gave him a pacifier and used a sound machine emitting white noise. Most important, develop a support system of people you can turn to. You can do this, K.. Good luck to you, doll.

Best,
S. :)

Congratulations! An unexpected blessing! This happened to a coworker who was a few years older than you, after more than 20yrs of marriage. Imagine her surprise when her dr told her those stomach issues were actually pregnancy issues and that she was over 5 months pregnant. Her son has brought them much joy and delight, and truthfully, kids keep us young. I was 42 when I brought home a toddler, and sometimes I do think "I'm too old for this!" Not true, though. She and I are exactly where we need to be and exactly where God planned us.

I think that 43 is not considered old anymore............. it was not like when we were in high school and it was devestating that a 17 yr old had a crush on a 25 yr old. LOL thinking that 40s were old..........now it is the middle of your life and still have 50+ more to go.....that is plenty of love to give a child. You have a lot of women here saying you can do it and they are doing it at this age...........so WHOO HOO celebrate !
Congrads !

My husbands Aunt had a surprise pregnancy at 50!
That was back in the day when they did not know as much as we do now..

She said she rested a lot more, tried to walk every day and since she was raising 3 teenagers at the time, she never really slowed down..

Ask for help when you need it/
Hire a house keeper and enjoy the baby as mach as you can. They grow up too fast. You are about to understand everything..

I was a 3rd time mom at 42 if that helps any.

I would think by 43, if you are healthy and happy and settled, your baby will be a huge blessing in both of your lives. The older step siblings will probably adore having a baby around if they are close by.

Take it one day at a time K.. I understand the panicky and anxiety provoking thoughts about how it's going to change your current life stye. But honestly, if you love this child and raise them with respect and healthy boundaries, you will be daily amazed at the relationship that unfolds.

Where does the fear and doubt comes from? Do you have an unpleasant relationship with your own parents? If so, get some counseling so you don't repeat it. Otherwise, let mother nature take her course and you'll all be fine. Eat well. Rest when your tired. Keep you feet up at the end.

Congratulations!

Heck ya you can do it! I am almost 40 and have a 2 year old DD on my own. Maybe I was just blessed with a good baby, but it has been easier than a lot of jobs I have had. I used to work 80+ hours a week. This is easy compared to that. Also, I think being on the older side has a lot of advantages! You might be older, but you also aren't trying to establish yourself, your husband, 2 careers etc while having a kid or multiple kids. Your judgment and decision making and ability to "let things go" hopefully are more progressed now than at 20.

Also, I have NEVER felt better physically than when I was pregnant. Why? I assume it was because I took vitamins, ate really healthy, exercised, no drinking, I went to bed early, etc.

Embrace it, thank God for the opportunity, and ENJOY!!!!!

I had my kids when I was 32 and 35, but I have met many moms who have waited until later. At 43 I think you are probably much better equipped to do the job than a younger woman. Congratulations.

No, you are not crazy. Yes you will be able to do this.

I had my last child at 40, unplanned and unexpected. He's 16 now and delightful. I've loved being a mom. I think you will, too. Blessings to you!

Just take care of yourself, and embrace these months!!!! Congratulations. What an absolute wonderful surprise. This baby will bring you more joy than you can imagine. God bless you and your little bean!

Yes! You can do it!~ I took care of sweet newborns to a mother who was 47 when she first had them. So yes, you can! Embrace this pregnancy and get the support you need. Everything will be ok.

Congratulations! I'm 42, and sometimes when I go to my 8yo son's school functions, I'm one of the younger moms. People are having children later and later.

I completely agree with the others. Follow your doctor's orders; take care of yourself. You will likely have less energy than you did in your 20s (I sure do!), but you are also likely more patient and wise. Parenting is such a wonderful experience. Enjoy every moment!

Go ahead! My first and only was born when I was 43...and my husband's previous four kids were 17-24 at the time. We did find that we some of our son's friends had parents the ages of my husband's first family, but we found other older parents as well. You'll need to keep yourself in shape and stay healthy, as our son is now graduating from college after his Dad has retired, so good financial planning will be required. We hired a fabulous guy kid-sitter, so some of the 'jobs' of going sledding and building snow forts could be 'taken on' by a younger male role model.

No you aren't crazy and if you think you can do it - you can! I had my first at 40 and my second at 45 and I am doing fine. I do feel a bit older than the other mother's, but I try and not worry about it. I feel like having two kids is the best thing I've done with my life. Good luck!

Absolutely you can do it! What a blessing. My mom was just a few weeks shy of 43 when I was born, and while she was a different kind of mom than many of my friends' much younger moms, she was an incredible mom and I thank God for her every single day. I had my third child at 39 and while I have to say I am less energetic than I was with my first (at 35), I have enough energy to do the important things. Go for it, its an amazing experience and I know I am a better mom for having been "older"...perhaps you will be, too! (Don't want to judge anyone for having kids young, that's right for lots of people too. :)

dont worry, you can do it! youre not the only one.. i had a friend who's father was 70 when we graduated higschool, he also had 3 children from his first marriage that were 10+ years older than my friend... im24 and my parents are turing 63, so not that far off from you

Yes, you can do it!
I had my first when I was older because it just worked out that way.
I was always healthy. I ate right and exercised for 20 years prior.
I did have a major health risk while pregnant but it does not happen to
everyone.
Stay healthy. Exercise and eat right.

Congrats! You can do this!!

I wouldn't worry at all! A mother is a mother no matter what age she decides to have kids. I am sure you can handle this. Gee I am 29 and I am working on my 4th! and my bf is 39 and this is his first. Im not saying it's going to be easy raising a child but its a great experience and I believe with age comes stability and wisdom.

i became a first time mom at the age of 38 and my husband was 47. our son is 10 now. i have found out now that most of his friends parents are around my age even if they have older children. we have one friend who does have two older children and we tell her she is teaching us how to handle our kids when they get to that age. and if you find a friend who is younger then you both can learn together. yes your life style is going to change and sometimes be hard to adjust too but you'll do fine....

I was 42 when my daughter was born. Such a blessing after years of infertility. She is a true gift, and even though there are days when I think I don't know what the heck I am doing and I am worn out at the end of some days, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!!! You can do it!

Congratulations! You are blessed, and you can do it! I became a Mommy for the first time at 43, and I'm loving every minute (well, almost every minute) of it! Have a positive outlook, faith in yourself, and embrace being a mom! I was scared, too, at first, but trust yourself & your motherly instincts. Take advice from others selectively, and don't listen to any negative comments (about becoming a mom later in life). I find that I have much more wisdom and patience now than I did when I was younger, but I also have far less energy. To counteract that, I try to eat healthy, get enough sleep (not always easy), and exercise as often as possible. I practice yoga often, both to keep fit & ward off stress. You will find out what works for you, and you will be a great Mommy! Also, check out motherhoodlater.com and the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book/website. I found them both very helpful! Enjoy every minute of it....I can't believe my daughter is 5 already! It seems like she was born just yesterday! Congrats again!

I had my little one at 43; he is 6 now. I took care of myself very well..(and my baby of course...)good nutrition, no caffeine, daily walks and I was monitored closely by my OB/GYN . My pregnancy was good, I had a C-Section, but everything went excellent, thanks God! You can do it without doubt. Go ahead....this is a great blessing for you!

Congratulatuions. Of course you can do it. Focus on the here and now and not the future. Stay healthy and you'll have a healthy baby. I'm an older mom and while I don't have the same energy level of a younger mom, I bring a whole different perspective to parenting because I've lived more of life. You might find that you raise your child in a much different way than you were raised, and that's okay. We are making our own traditions now and these will be my daughter's memories once I'm gone. Best of luck to you and your husband on this exciting journey.

Yes, of course you can do it. And think of all of the thinks that you know now that you didn't know 15 years ago. You are filled with wisdom. Pass it on!

Congrats. How exciting.

Just want to add to the chorus of encouragement. I had my first (and only) child six years ago, at 43, and it has been wonderful! If there are any new mothers' groups in your area, I'd suggest joining one. You'll likely see that even though a lot of the first-time mothers may be younger than you, the things you have in common will outweigh any differences. The newness of the experience, and the tiredness, etc, is the same for everyone. And you may find some other mothers your age, too! Best of luck to you and your husband--enjoy the experience.

My best friend found out she was pregnant last year, at 43. She thought she had hit menopause, but decided, at the urging of a friend, to do a pregnancy test just in case. Bingo! Went to the doctor, she was almost 4 months along.

They had pretty much given up any hope of getting pregnant years before, and didn't want to go through all the medical interventions...
She had her baby in December. Perfect, beautiful little girl. She is a wonderful baby, and mom is a great mom. She still is breastfeeding, even after having gone back to work, etc. Grandparents LOVE her. Parents are in love with her. And she is just a beautiful child. And has her mom's social personality to boot.

Just take care of yourself, and follow up with your doctor as you need to. My friend had some extra fluid with her pregnancy (amniotic fluid) which can indicate some problems, but they didn't have any problems. Just monitored it.