First Overnight Away Worries

Go have fun. Kids will have a blast. Camp out on living room floor, fun foods, build a fort, go to a park. Special memories for grandparents and kids.

I remember those times! Mine are teenagers now and will be gone sooner than I'd like to admit. Go and have a great time. A break is good for everyone, including the kids!

Been there, done that. I went to the Olympics for 2 days when my kids were little. So glad my mom and dad were willing to boot me and my husband out so I'd have that memory forever. Oh, and about 10 minutes after we left, my older one forgot that he cried and said he wanted to go with me.

And so will yours...

GO. You had a life before children. So did your husband. Let him remember what you were like before you were a mother.

We didn't do overnights until a bit older with grandparents, but only because of circumstances. Once we did our first one, we realized how easy it was. Grandparents tend to fawn over their grandchildren, and ours had a wonderful time. Then we could relax about it all.

We've also had the grandparents stay at our home overnight to make it easier. So I would do whatever makes you the most comfortable.

Just to note - Grammy here was fine having a little one sleep with her in her bed. Or having a cot in the room with Grammy - whatever works.

But go, enjoy yourselves! They will be well cared for and you will find that once you do it, you'll get a bit of your freedom back and you will feel like better parents for it :)

I started nights away from our kids when they were 18 months and it was good for everyone. As well as just having fun, I think it builds confidence in kids for them to realize that multiple adults can take care of them and they can have good experiences with people other than their parents. Yes, your 3 year old is going to resist the idea, however if you talk up how much fun they will have at their grandparents' house, I bet he'll come around. You have to shift my mental perspective on it, however, because if you are unsure about the separation yourself, he will pick up on that too. If you trust the grandparents to take care of the kids, then you can quiet your worry voice with that knowledge. You two will have a GREAT time together, and so will the rest of the family. Hope it works out well!

Your children will be fine.

Why did you make a big deal about it in front of the 3.5 yr old. You caused that anxiety for him.

You NEED to get away from you children occasionally just like your children NEED to get away from you.

They will be fine! Don't let your anxiety rub off on them. Make this an adventure for them and how much fun they'll have with grandparents!! Be appreciative that they have grandparents who want to spend time with them!

We live a plane ticket away from everyone so my daughter would stay with a dear friend.

GO be with your husband and nurture that relationship!

I have a four year old and you are worry yourself self for no reason. Take a hot bath and relax and think happy thoughts. They will be happy and in the same shape when you get back home.

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I have a four year old and you are worry yourself self for no reason. Take a hot bath and relax and think happy thoughts. They will be happy and in the same shape when you get back home.

I totally get it, I was the same way the first time we went away when my kids were almost 2 and 4. Now the kids see it as a fun playdate wth their grandparents! My 3 year old loves it when she gets sleep overs. Just turn it into a positive and focus on how lovely the quiet alone time will be.

This really is healthy for all of you. It will be hard the first few hours. But you will relax into it...I won't be surprised if you find yourself wishing for one more night away. I love two nights away, it really gives us serious time to see new sites and act like a real couple again.

Just stop it. They will be fine. Their grandparents are taking care of them and have adventures planned that only grandparents can do.

You and hubby were individuals, then man and wife and now parents in that order. Now it time for the man wife to have adult time to enjoy who they are without interruptions. You are building your future together as a couple. If you do not have this connection and only the children first your marriage will suffer. Once they are gone out the house who will you know better your children or your spouse? If it is your children you husband will be a stranger and your marriage may/might collapse as you have nothing in common as adults.

Please stop worrying about the what ifs. Your children will be cared for by family and this same family would care for them if you were not here. So just do it.

My son takes his now 10 month old nephew with his wife on weekends to have baby time and give his SIL a break to enjoy life as a person. So now the baby knows them and other family members and is not worried about who has him.

Once again go and enjoy yourselves without the kids. Everyone needs a break from being a parent and remember who you are adults,

the other S.

The anxiety leading up to the trip is way worse than the trip itself, I promise.
I've been there, I know.
Just GO, you will be surprised how relaxed you are and how much fun you will have once you are actually gone!
And your kids will of course be fine, though don't make it harder on your three year old (or yourself) by talking about it too much, it's only one night, don't turn it into something bigger than it is.

Our boys didn't have their first overnights without us until they were older - 4 or 5 maybe? It sounds like a lot of moms here didn't wait as long as you and definitely not as long as me. I guess I just wasn't ready to let them go :-)

It is hard for parents the first time. Just like it's hard the first time we leave them for an hour or two or for an evening. We just want them to feel safe and secure. We know we are leaving them in capable hands, but it's still hard for us.

I just wanted you to know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. You know they're going to be fine, because they are going to be with Nana and Papa. But it's still going to be hard for you to leave them. Just try to remind yourself that they are in good hands and will be ok. Try to relax and enjoy this special time with your husband. Don't freak out if you think about the kids while you're gone. That's normal. Just remind yourself that they are having special time with Nana and Papa and that this is important, too.

I agree with Anne L. Kids actually benefit tremendously from knowing there are other people who can care for them and who love them immensely. I totally understand your feelings - I definitely cried as my husband and I drove away from our 1 year old. But I'm so happy I did it. The fact is, I'm just not the only person in the universe who can meet my child's needs. I'm not. And I don't want him to think that I am - I always felt it would actually make him more scared with the same "what if" feelings you are having. Kids get scared about "What if something happens to Mommy" (or Daddy) and they can feel much more confidence and secure if they have others in their lives. That whole "it takes a village" attitude is really important.

It doesn't lessen your impact if someone else is capable of putting them to bed. So long as you trust the grandparents in general (and since they raised a pretty amazing adult, why wouldn't you?), GO. This is a great gift for you, your husband, and your children.

Yes, your 3 year old will balk. He will balk at many things when he is 4 and 7 and 12. Going to preschool, going to kindergarten, first day of camp, first swim lesson, first sleepover, and so on - all big milestones. And oh my God, wait until 15 and 17!! Then you will get all kinds of push-back. Just because your child gives you an argument doesn't mean you are wrong. You cannot soothe every hurt feeling or every bout of anger. You cannot get a kid to understand why this is a good idea. That's okay.

You have to talk it up as an adventure and as the way it's going to be. He may be picking up on your ambivalence and that may be making it worse.

You can do this. You must do this. Everyone needs it!

And do resist the urge to call every 2 hours. It's not good for you, and it's not good for your children....who will probably do just fine when the time comes. Let Nana and Papa soothe them and spoil them and rock them to sleep and read to them and everything else.

Go have fun Mama!! The best thing for your two little ones is for you and your husband to have a close relationship! Trips are a great way to keep the fires burning if you know what I mean. :)

They will be fine. You will be fine. This is good for all of you. Go.

If you want a little more - yes they might cry. But once you are out the door, grandma and grandpa will distract them and they will be fine. And if they pick up that you are anxious, it will make it harder for them. If you are upbeat and confident, so will they be.

For reference, DH and I took our first trip without our older when he was 2. For our younger, I think it was about 1 1/2. Everyone was just fine, and we came back refreshed and ready to see the kids. A little distance does make the heart grow fonder!

My husband had to trick me into our first overnight away. I freaked. Then I went along and everything was just fine. The kids now have zero memory of it and were happy to see me when I got back but no different than usual. And we didn't even get to leave them with family. They'll be fine. And the time away was good for my husband and I. It really makes me laugh now bc I'll ask my kids if they remember things like that and they don't at all. Meantime I had myself in knots. Once you're on your way, I bet you'll feel better. And then you'll enjoy it. Let yourself.

Most kids I know have already stayed with the grandparents by that age.

Start now making short evening trips and hire a sitter for 2 hours up to the actual anniversary trip.

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this. The first time I left my kids to go to an out-of-town wedding, I was so worried. The friend that was watching my kids told me that my kids needed a break from me as much as I needed a break from them. Her words came back to me every time I left them after that first time. It was so freeing! Happy Anniversary and have a great time! Every time a worry comes to mind while you are gone, replace it with a joyful acknowledgement that you have a wonderful husband to get away with!

Don't worry...it will be just fine!! We have left our kids with grandma and grandpa once or twice a year for the last 4/5 years...since my daughter was almost 2 and my son was 6. Just talk up how great grandma's house will be (maybe the grandparents will plan something fun and you can talk that up too)! Focus on the positives. It's really a great thing to do...our kids really bonded with their grandparents and had a great time! They also learned a little more independence. They love doing this now and it's so normal to them that it's no big deal...they look forward to it and ask for a week with their grandparents (they are now 6 and 12)! (PS - I worried a lot the first time too! I thought it would be awful for my daughter who was not even 2 yet...but she had fun and grandpa really spoiled her which was cute.) Next time you should definitely go for longer than one overnight! I highly recommend it. :)