My Kids Dont Miss Me :(

Healthy happy well adjusted kids are not clingy. Sooo, sounds like you've done a GREAT JOB with them thus far!

Congrats!

:)

When I was little I had to stay with two of my Aunts a few times. I hated it. Ironically, my father was terribly abusive. I don't know why I wasn't happier in the care of normal decent people. But I didn't know any better and I was miserable, lonely, scared...the whole nine.

I believe that well adjusted children can be away from their parents without freaking out. You have provided them such a safe place to grow up and loved them well enough that they know you are at home waiting for them and they love their grandparents. It's all good.

I felt that way too. They miss you, but they are having fun with their grandparents and are distracted. It's a good thing!

I wouldnt have wanted mine to miss me when they were with grandma. I never missed my mom when I was with grandma, sometimes for an entire summer.
You have well adjusted kids that are having a blast at grandma's house. Trust me, it's a blessing.
If they were calling you and crying to come home, would that make you feel better?? I'm sure not.

Kudos to you for raising confident, independent children who are secure enough in the love between you that they can enjoy themselves like that and know that you will be there for them when they get home. I am sure the excitement of having cousins with whom to play, new toys, and exciting new things to see is keeping them from expressing homesickness. But that is a good thing. Be secure in the fact that they love you and are doing great because of your love and guidance.

When my youngest is with her grandparents, she has so much fun and is so busy she doesn't have time to miss me! You don't want them to miss you. If they were crying and sad how would you feel then? Worse! You have happy, secure children. Be thankful.

This is WONDERFUL!!! This means that they are building on GREAT memories with their Grandparents! BE HAPPY FOR THEM!!!

You are doing EVERYTHING RIGHT!! How great to let them go off on a trip with the grandparents!! YOU GO!!!!

Now, instead of moping - do some things around the house that you've been meaning to do if you didn't have to hear "mom, I'm hungry" "mom can you do this for me?" Mom! Mom! Mom!! Enjoy this time and take care of yourself!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

They sound like happy, normal kids to me. I think if they were crying for you, that would mean that they weren't enjoying their trip. Be happy they are having a great time.

You'll get tons of hugs and kisses when they get home - don't worry about it! Enjoy your vacation too!

You are doing everything right !!!
Raising healthy, happy, secure children.

My son started staying a week or more with my Aunt as a toddler. I would be missing him like crazy, call him, and he was the same - "Oh, Hi Mommee. I am playing right now. Love ya', Bye".

What this told me was that he was fine - well cared for, loved, and secure enough in my love for him to be away from me.

Your kids love you. They will be happy to come home to you. Right now, they are enjoying their Grandparents and the adventure and are secure in your love of them...they know you will be there when they get home. Don;t get caught up in the "They don't love me" thing. And don't make them feel bad that they are having a great time without you.

They love you !!!!

God Bless

I never missed my parents when I was with my grandparents.
Doe n't mean I did not love them, I was just being so well cared for and kept so busy, I was very content.

We even went out of state on a bus with our grandmother for a few summers to visit cousins. My grandmother did not speak English, so on the trip I was the translator. I was 9 and my sister was 4 the first year we went, we had such a great time..

Even went to Girl Scout camp for 2 weeks and never got homesick. I was having a blast and my very best friend was there.

I think I just was so secure knowing my parents were ok that I was ok too.

That just means that they are well adjusted kids that are quite secure, and that they are comfortable with nana & papa. It probably also helps that they have each other. My kids never have seemed to miss me much, when they are with extended family (or even close friends and their family), but they have been more likely to miss me/us if they went alone. My son got a little homesick when he stayed with my parents for a week one summer. And he was older... like 8. But that was because he got bored and got fussed at some and it hurt his feelings. Other than that--never been a problem. My daughter has never been like that either, and she is my snuggly child. But she is very self confident and is fine "on her own" as long as she is familiar and comfortable with whoever it is she is with.

You're doing things right. That is why they don't seem sad or miss you. And they were probably in a hurry to get off the phone and get on to the next fun thing.

This means you have done a great job! They should not be aching for you, you don't want dependent kids. Yes, they miss you and they will tell you that when they return home. They are enjoying themselves and that's a good thing. If they were crying for you then something would be wrong - either they are too dependent or they aren't having a good time. Really, this is great! You should be proud of yourself, not doubting yourself. I know some middle schoolers that still call mommy when they are on a sleepover - these kids have some serious adjustment issues and have no independence. You do not want that!

Good job mom! Enjoy your time until they are back...

Ah, don't take it so hard. It sounds like they have a ton of stuff to keep them busy and they are having fun with family. Enjoy your time without them and do things you couldn't normally do.

You did a good job making them feel loved and secure-and Gran and Grandpa are the icing on the cake!

Trust me they miss you. What you are experiencing is a GREAT nana and papa, who are doing their job very well. Apparently they know exactly how to soothe and comfort your children. They are not waiting until the children are desperate to talk to you, but allowing them to call when they are happy and busy. Allow yourself the luxury of missing them occasionally, but trust that they are enjoying some very special time with nana and papa, and they will be back soon, doing some of those annoying little things, that will have you thinking, oh if nana and papa could just take them for a day!!!

I think you're doing *everything* right! It's not that they don't miss you, it's that they're having SO much fun - and that's a GOOD thing!! I think it means you're raising secure, confident children; children who know that mom is there for them NO MATTER WHAT! It's the less-secure children that miss and cry for their moms when they're in perfectly safe situations.

Be *proud* of how well your kids are handling themselves and take a cue from them - enjoy your temporary freedom and do those things you never seem to get to with your kids around. And I bet you'll get a torrent of hugs and kisses and 'you should have been theres' when they get home :o)

They are in a different environment with lots of distractions. They DO miss you (even if they can't say it) but they are also confident and social - all thanks to your good parenting. I'm sure you don't want them to be miserable on their trip. Sometimes they don't like to talk on the phone because it makes them think of being homesick, and sometimes kids that age just don't love the phone for anything. So let them have their fun. Don't take it personally. Be excited when they come home and ask them to share all the details! Be thrilled for them! This is such a vital skill that they are developing. You absolutely ARE doing something right. You are letting them feel part of a larger extended family, which builds relationships and security.

Meantime, take advantage of the time and do the things you are always complaining you don't have time for - as we all do! You are a multi-faceted woman, you are a mom plus more. Do some "more" this week.

Not to make you feel bad, but this is EXACTLY what you want. You've raised secure, happy children who can adjust and enjoy themselves. Yes, they miss you, but they're having too much fun to tell you. My sons have been spending weeks here and there with my mom since they were in single digits and my boys never had time to talk to me, either, so I understand what you're feeling. Don't call. Go out and enjoy yourself! When you are all reunited you can have an "I missed you" fest doing something special together!

Yes, it normal! It means you're doing a good job at raising confident, strong, happy children!

Of course your kids miss you. They're probably just very busy right now, and keeping busy and not wanting to talk to you at the moment so that they don't think about how much they miss you.

But there's also the flip side. You instilled such a good sense of independence in them and such a strong connection and feelings of love and security that they know you're there waiting for them, loving them, and while they miss you and love you they're perfectly secure in knowing that they don't need to express it or hear it right now.

I'm kind of sad that you're not secure enough in your children's love for you to know that they miss you. That you can't view this as positive in your children's development. It means they're strong, capable kids and you ARE doing a good job.

I agree with the other moms & want to add that it sounds like you've done a great job teaching them that you will ALWAYS be there for them if they need you. They must feel secure and well loved! Now maybe you need to find a hobby to focus on! Get outside and plant some flowers, go get a massage, take yourself to a movie, or go shopping. Do those things that you usually don't get to do with 2 kids hanging on you. Enjoy EVERY minute of it, and DON'T feel bad for one second!

I just took a new job in DC while my husband and two kids, 4 and 2, are still in Florida. It took me a while to find a house that we could afford that would accept our pets, and I only got the appointment 4 weeks before the job started, so I had to come up here and stay with friends until I found the place. So my kids haven't seen me for 3 weeks now, and it's harder on me than on them. In my case, they are with their dad, and if I don't go get everyone this weekend I'll get them next weekend, and they will have been away from me a month.
Trust me, they miss you. They might not be missing you at the exact moment you call; they are kids and they live in the moment, but they miss you. You are their mom and they miss you. I felt like my little boy, my 2-year-old, was forgetting me, and it was breaking my heart, but my husband says he talks about me and takes the phone and pretends to talk to me often. My 4-year-old is verbal enough to express herself clearly and she tells me she misses me. I also know that she probably doesn't miss me when she's at school, and normally without me. That's ok.
Just remember that they still love you, they still miss you, and if they've had a busy day they might not need that phone call that evening because they are secure in your love, which is a good thing. Call anyway, because maybe that evening they do need it. I've missed a few calls because they've fallen asleep early or something like that, so missing a day is fine, but don't worry. You've done something right.

perfectly normal. they're off having adventures and the ones adventuring don't miss the ones at home as much, but it has zero to do with their love for you and certainly doesn't mean they don't miss you. it DOES mean that you have done a great job raising confident outgoing healthy kids, and that you have great family who is doing a fabulous job with them.
some parents like to brag about how much their kids are desperate never to leave them, but that is ego talking and it's not healthy at all.
wait til you see how ecstatic they are to see you again! and that it turn will not mean that they don't miss nana and papa or that they didn't have fun. your kids have the incalculable gift of being able to fling themselves whole-heartedly into their current experience without second-guessing or wishing they were somewhere else.
that's a good thing!
:) khairete
S.

I think it depends alot on if they are a boy or girl.
I also think It depends on if you are a strick parent or not.
For example: if we as parents are always having to correct our children and have to say no to a lot of things ~ and then they spend time with grandma and papa and they let them do things we wouldn't let them do.
Or if they are buying them stuff. Eating stuff that we would say no to.
Then remember, their kids and they are getting things they usually don't get and they are enjoying it.
That doesn't mean they don't love you or miss you.
It only means that they are enjoying everything that is going on.

Don't worry mama, they love you and they still need mommy.

Trust me, if one of them fell down and scraped their knee ~ they would cry and say " I WANT MOMMY ! "

God bless and get ready for them to return.

Ditto to everything Lesley S said, good job mom, you should be proud of yourself!!!

You have a lot of answers already, but I'll add my two cents' worth. I think what it shows is that your children are happy with their nana and papa, feel secure with them, and are growing in confidence when they're away from home. That means that you've been doing something right!

It isn't that they don't love you. Far from it. They're having a good time! Remember when you were their age and you couldn't wait to get back to the fun?

It may be a good idea for you to make the nightly phone call instead. When my older granddaughters (who are sisters) stay at my house, their mama and daddy call here to say hello. The girls wouldn't always remember to do it, but they're glad to talk to their parents, even just to say hello. And "hi, bye," is a pretty ordinary thing for some children. So prepare for that and say, "Hi, to you, I'm glad you're having such a great time, 'bye!"

When the time comes for YOU to make a trip without THEM, they may find themselves having a bit of the emotions that you're having now! :^)

My son is 7 and on his 3rd day away with his cousins, aunt and uncle and boy am I having a hard time. He doesn't miss us at all. I was wondering if I wasn't the wonderful parent I thought I was. So nice to see all of your responses. It really helped me!! LOL!! However, I still miss my little guy!! :) Congrats on your awesome parenting!!

I go back to visit my family and take my 2 kids 5 and 2 without my husband. He always feels hurt that they never want to talk with him on the phone for more than a second or two. They are so busy having fun with the cousins and grandparents they don't see often, they don't want to break in the action to talk with him. It has nothing to do with not missing you or loving you, they are simply distracted and having a great time. My daughter is a big time Daddy's girl and asks to call and talk all day when he is at work b/c she misses him. But when visiting her cousins and grandparents she is just caught up in the excitement too much to care. Just be happy they are enjoying themselves!

Wow, I think you are so lucky! I wish I had relatives that would take my kids and give them such a good time! I think your kids are enjoying themselves. I'm sure they do miss you, but kids don't express things the way adults do:) Take this time to enjoy some "me time". I would be much more concerned if they were miserable! Your boys are enjoying time with their grandparents, what a gift they are getting, feeling loved by others. You must me raising confident, self-assured kids.

N.

I know this post is not intended to be funny, but it is :) in a cute way. I would find comfort in knowing that they are being well cared for and happy. It's only day 3, things will change...nana is going to have to get creative to keep their little minds off you!

Mine were about that age when I left them for a week. They were at a cousins house and did the exact thing to us. They were just always having fun and in the middle of something. I know how you feel, I totally missed them and wanted them to miss me. But my husband cousin that had them told us when we got home that they did miss us a ton especially when they were going to bed at night. I think I just always called when they were buys and in the middle of something. Trust me, you are a wonderful mom. And know that they love you. But also be happy they are having a good time.

Looks like you've got lots of answers, but I'll put in my two cents. I think there are two things going on here.

Number one, your kids are having a great time! And that's good. That means they have bonded with you very securely. They know that you won't be ditching them. So you're not doing anything wrong--you've done something right.

Number two, kids this age don't get telephones. For them, it's nothing like talking in person. They aren't super verbal about their feelings, either. So while you may talk to your mom on the phone about your hopes and dreams and insecurities, they just hear your voice, are reassured that you still love them, and then they're off to having a GREAT time again with their family.

Just today, I witnessed two different reactions kids had to going to their church nursery class. One was my own son, who went for the first time today. He walked in to the room, looked around for a second, then made a bee-line for the toys. I stayed for a minute to make sure he'd be fine (this is my third, and they were all like, "this is way more fun than you, mom. See ya!) and of course, he was. But there was a little girl sobbing into her mother's shoulder because she didn't want Mom to go. After 10 minutes of crying, she just took the little girl to class with her.

I have to admit that it's hard not to have my boys a little bit sad that I'm leaving, but do I really want the kid who won't go to class and sobs every single time I leave him? NO. No I really, really don't.

It doesn't mean that they don't miss you. Kids this age don't always show their emotions in the way we adults might expect.

What you should take away from this is that you are doing something right! You have raised kids who are independent and confident enough to enjoy a trip with their relatives other than mom. Instilling confidence and independence is one of your main jobs, and you have done a good job.

Don't worry: they still miss and love you, and you all will appreciate each other all the more when they return.

Ah... I am sure they miss you... just not as much as you want them to! I spent most of my childhood summers with my grandparents. (starting when I was 6) I had a BLAST! Grandma spoiled me and we did crafts and went shopping and I was too busy having fun to miss my mom (much).

You are NOT doing anything wrong... My mom was an awesome mom, and how well I did away from her was evidence of that! You obviously have given your kids the invaluable gifts of being incredibly secure and independent! They KNOW that they have no reason to fret... so they don't need to cling to you! They know that you aren't "gone forever" and you will be there to take them home soon enough, so they don't have to miss you! They don't want to talk to you for a long time on the phone, because they are having too much fun!

To you when they say "I love you, bye!" you feel slighted, because really you need them more than they need you (right this moment). Don't feel guilty about it! All they NEED is to say, and hear that you love them and they love you! They know that it means "I love you, I miss you, you are the best, and I'll see you soon..." and so much more!

How do I know? My mom usually heard "I love you, bye!" too!

Good Job and Good Luck!
-M.

Be glad you have raised secure children. You've obviously done your job very right to have children feel confident enough to go a week and be ok with talking to you on the phone.

Good job mom.

They are having too much fun! Be thankful that they can go with nana and
papa and be happy. What a great experience for them.