Finding Birth Mother....

Wonderful story. I was placed with my adoptive parents when I was 15mnths old. Was told my bio mother was married with 6 other children & had an affair while her husband was overseas & I was conceived. Supposedly my bio father would not sign the papers until I was 4 yrs. old. This was back in 1968 & the GA adoption records are still sealed. I was adopted by wonderful parents, yet there's still that wanting to know where I came from. And now that I have children of my own, I'd also like to know family health history. I also feel that if they wanted to find me they would have & I wonder if my half brothers & sisters even know if I exist. I don't want to disrupt anyones life.

I was adopted when I was a year and a half, after being taken out of my mother's custody on several occasions for really, REALLY bad neglect (like, leaving me in my crib and leaving the house for 48 hours neglect.)

When I was a teen, especially, I though I would want to find my birth parents, but after I was old enough to actually do it, I had no interest. Those who raised me are my parents, not the crappy people who abused and neglected me.

My birth father contacted ME (used a PI to find me) when I was 19. It was creepy. We eventually formed a civil relationship and I do enjoy talking to him on occasion, but I've only ever met him once.

I eventually searched out my birth mother when I was 30 or so, just to get some health history. It took a lot of searching, and then SHE wanted a relationship...which I didn't want. It was very uncomfortable. I am thankful we live across the country from one another.

I am thankful every day that I was taken away from my "parents" and that a wonderful couple adopted me.

It's a sweet story and hopefully it will work out for them. I was adopted at birth. I've known my whole life I was adopted. My Mom always made it a very natural topic in our house- she shared the information on the biological parents with me, I've seen the petition and decree a million times, it was always a very open thing with my parents and I. Growing up I always wanted to find my birth parents. I wanted to look like someone and know what my biological history was, and to just see/ know the people who created me. My mom understood this and was very comfortable with my wish. In fact she helped me find my biological mother (which didn't turn out very well but that's another story). She and I both knew that she was my mother, my only mother- the one who raised me and taught me and took care of me. She was supportive because she knew she was my mother and that was that. No one else could ever take that place for me and she understood that need in me to find them.
I'm all for adoption too. I can't imagine the strength and courage it takes to place your child and the heartache it causes. I don't think I'd be that strong.

One of my best friends adopted a newborn 3 years ago. At first, his birth mom wanted to stay in contact, so my friend sent her monthly pictures, and a gold necklace with the baby's birthstone for Mother's Day. Eventually the birth mom asked my friend to stop communicating with her, as she couldn't manage the sadness. The birth mom had 3 other children.

My aunt has 2 adopted children. My cousin never wanted to meet his birth parents, but his sister (not blood related) did. It was tough on my aunt because my aunt didn't want her daughter to be disappointed, and, as it turned out, after my cousin found her birth mom they had a brief reunion, filled in some gaps and answered some questions, and then went their separate ways again. They haven't been in contact for at least 20 years.

I couldn't give up a baby for adoption, but I could be an adoptive parent if I could get my husband on board. His culture has unfairly stigmitized adoption, as they think they could never possibly love an adopted child the same as their biological children. Sad.

I haven't seen the story, but will read it now.

I've heard that reunions aren't often when people expected them to be. A friend of mine found her biological father when she was like 20, and it's been nothing but problems.

If I were adopted, I'd be very curious to just see what my birth parents were like. I think I'd need to have some idea of them. But I'd hope, and same for the adoptive parents in this situation, that it wasn't hurtful at all to the people who loved me and raised me. Such a tricky situation. I hope it works out for everyone.

My youngest was adopted and I think about his birth mother, what a selfless decision she made to give him a better life. Making a plan for adoption is not like "pinning ten dollars to his back and wishing him luck" unless you dump the baby in a cold/hot place and wonder if he is found.
It is choosing a family who has been cleared by many authorities, interviewed by social workers, proved their home is ready, paid a lot of money to lawyers, and carefully made the decision to adopt a child. After such an act, the birth parent deserves a chance to know if that child grew up healthy and happy and though it is often not possible or wanted, I wish I could communicate with her. The father on the other hand had no part of carrying the child or making a decision. Neglectful parents kinda gave up their rights...

I would love to reconnect with my son who i gave up for adoption almost 18 and 1/2 years ago any way he saw fit.
i think about him daily and wonder if his life is good. i was such a mess at the time i gave him up. i would love for him to see the person i am today.
i think it is a cool story.
many blessings
Edit: i am in a registry but i dont activally look for him as it is not my right too and i would never want to disrupt his life. but i do wonder ever day.

My son's biological dad gave up his rights to my son before he was born. He signed the papers when my son was about 1. He has never met him, doesn't know him, doesn't know his birthday.
It would be VERY difficult for me and my husband (the only dad he has known, since birth) if my son decided that he wanted to meet his biological father.
I think it's a wonderful decision for someone to give their child to a family that wants and can care for the child. But once the adoption is done, I feel like that child is no longer yours. I may be wrong. But, it's MY feelings. That child is being loved, raised, disciplined, and for all intents and purposes is their child.
It may be my own personal story that gets involved in this, but I think it's pretty selfish when someone has given their child up for adoption and then decides that they want to have something to do with the child/adult. That person has a mom and a dad, and it's not the biological mother or father.
(side note....not talking about people that were forced, years ago, to give their children up)
May not be a popular opinion, and I may not have explained it well, but it's how I feel.
L.

I read the story last night, and was touched by it. Though it may not be what either of them expected, I wish them the best and I hope it works out. I'm sure the daughter has always wondered what her birth mother was like, and now she will know, for better or worse. I thought it was great that 85,000+ people shared the picture and helped this W. find her mother so quickly. Amazing, the power of social media. A few years ago, such a thing wouldn't have been possible.

No I haven't seen it.
I don't think anyone can really know what they would do or feel unless they are in the situations described.
And like another poster suggested, I'm sure reality often differs from what we might imagine happening.
(Zero personal experiences to share.)

It's a nice beginning-- now they have the process of getting to know each other.

I did that with my bio dad when I was 14. It was very awkward. Getting to know someone takes a lot of time. I hope that this girl and her birth mother are able to do this journey together, in baby steps.

I hadn't seen that one, but I just saw (and shared) a very similar post on FB today for someone I've never met or heard of. I think it's fine to do this, as long as the person searching keeps their expectations low and won't be devastated if the birth parents are located but want no contact of any sort. I would think also, as a birth mom, you might feel a bit of relief to know 20 years later that your child has grown up and is (hopefully) happy and healthy. Of course, I have no personal experience with adoption, so maybe I'm totally wrong.

I think it was a very ingenious way to find out. My son is adopted and has had visits with his birth mother. We started talking to him about adoption a couple years ago so he is unfazed about this at this point, he's 6. I just want him to realize that he was placed for adoption because his birth other wanted all things good for him. We explain things that he can grasp at this young age.