Did any of you with adult children put a heath care and financial power of attorney in place when your children turned 18? A friend (who is a corporate attorney so she knows the law but isn't drumming up business with this) mentioned that she is putting this in place for her daughter to make administering any urgent or emergency health care, health insurance, and banking issues easier, especially when she is away at college. It's honestly something that I never considered but to me, it makes sense, especially with HIPAA laws restricting even basic discussion of health care information even if it relates to insurance coverage and bill payment.
If you have done this, until what age did you (or do you plan to) keep it in place? Did you ever have to exercise these powers?
Thanks!
ETA: HIPAA laws prevent you from being able to get information on your adult child in an emergency or discuss their medical care with a provider if they were incapacitated. For example, if an 18 year old is in a car accident and unconscious or otherwise unable to to consent to the hospital giving you information, you have no legal right to know what is going on or make decisions on their behalf. Or if you suspect that there is a billing error or insurance coverage problem, you can't speak to the billing office at their healthcare provider or your insurance carrier about it. A healthcare POA (and/or proxy) grants you the legal right to have access to that information and/or make decisions for your child.
No we did not do that. My name is on her bank and investment accounts.
What I am setting up is a trust to go with my will so that she will be protected. The reason for that is "what if" her marriage ends in divorce, etc. This will not be community property and an ex or soon to be ex will not be able to take what my husband and I have left specifically for her.
When my two 18 yr olds turned 18 last year, our local clinic/hospital had me sign papers so I could continue to be involved in their healthcare (especially since they were both in high school when they turned 18). My 18 year old daughter did this on her own at her campus clinic. We haven't done the health insurance one, but we have been meaning to. My name is still on both of their bank accounts, so that isn't a worry at this time. With my oldest two, now in their 20s, I just never thought of this, but with these two, it was actually the clinic folks that told me I should do it. I have already had to "use" the clinic permission to get medical records for my daughter so it is useful. Good thing to bring up and discuss!
ETA: I can't speak for emergency care (thank God) but we have no problem dealing with the insurance carrier as my ex husband is listed as the the financially responsible party. So even though our kids have privacy re their treatment we have no problems dealing with bills, payments, etc.
And as "next of kin" wouldn't parents automatically be the ones called in for emergency decisions? Maybe I'm naive about this...guess I'd better find out for sure!
I got divorced last year, and health care cost/coverage was specifically written into our agreement, for all three kids, that my husband would continue to provide full health care/dental coverage on them until they graduate college or turn 24, whichever occurs first.
Not sure what you're referring to re HIPPA laws? Do you mean you want access to your adult child's personal medical information? I don't do that with my 22 and 20 year old kids. My ex husband pays their insurance and sometimes I make appointments or pick up prescriptions for them but we don't go with them to the doctor or ask their doctors for any personal or sensitive medical info. I think it's important to respect their privacy as young adults and I feel they will get better care if they know they can be completely honest with their doctor.
We had a church member attorney come to relief society one time and he gave a presentation on things very similar to this. He told about a young married couple who had just had their first child and were on a road trip and almost home. He hit a bridge rail and it impaled her. The husband was seriously injured in out of it for days. The child was put into foster care and stayed there for a while due to not having anything official drawn up on their newborn infant. They were both unavailable. Mom was dead and dad was in a coma. No family member was allowed to take the child because they didn't know the parents wishes.
He was finally able to get his child home but it took long long months and that child had bonded to the foster family. It was very hard on him but he worked through the visitations and all to help the baby transfer attachment to him.
The attorney suggested you have papers on file regarding all your children. Stating financial boundaries, guardianship, living arrangements, and so forth, in the event of death or being unavailable. Get copies of it to the local hospitals and doctors offices they use. That way all that has to happen is showing an ID.
Another thing he said was that in a will the parent should specify "I want my children to go to "Insert name here" if I am unable to care for them or are deceased. If that person is unable to provide care or chooses not to then I would like for one of the following to take in my children". This list should be updated when someone moves away or dies or changes where you don't want them to have your children.
You can also list reasons you want your children to go to that specific person. You can also list reasons you do NOT want them to go to certain people too.
When I was a nanny the parents were members of our church ward. I had been working for them for a while and they asked me and my husband to come visit with them. They proposed that "if" anything happened to them would we consider taking their children and raising them, would we raise them in the church, they presented us with income budgets, we'd get a stipend to live on for ourselves, their kids care would have about a million each year to live on that would include housing, all personal needs, food, vehicles, health insurance, did I mention food? For 7?, we thought about it and prayed about it and said yes. Thank goodness we never had to even think about it again. They had listed several reasons they didn't want family to take their kids and it was worded nicely but specific.
So, when you ask about what to do about your adult children...I agree, it's a great idea to give someone this authority. If they get off to college and do like so many young ones do, get drunk, try new stuff, act crazy and have fun, they might end up with alcohol poisoning, a drug reaction coma, or more. I think it's smart to have someone you trust with that sort of authority that specifically knows your wishes and wants. It's good for you and for them.
I have an adult friend. She is in her 50s and lives alone. She is disabled but able to do for herself. She has an older cousin that she has designated, and set up in court, to be her spokesperson in the event she is unable to tell anyone her wishes. It specifically states she is not to be taken off life support. That she wants to be buried and not cremated. She wants her things to go here and there and her cousin is to have complete access to any money she has in her banking, savings, or retirement accounts.
This protects both of them. Her cousin may not feel the same way about everything in her own life but she will fight tooth and nail for my friend to have her wishes fulfilled as to her care in the event she can't do it herself.
Having it written down isn't enough. It needs to be a legally binding document so that no one else can come in and show something else and say it's from the same person.
I had this as the adult child - so that my parents could step in if needed until I married. I didn't get married until I was 34 so it was there for a long time. Quite honestly, when these papers are really needed is if the adult child is incapacitated but not dead. If they are dead and single with no children, than the parent is the next of kin. Sorry to be so blunt.
