Interesting advice so far... As you can see people have different understandings and approaches to a very common problem. One thing to be very aware of is this: skipping one thing this month will not save you. The larger and potentially long term issue brewing is that skipping payments or juggling who can be late this month is a slippery slope that I fear won't bring you the relief you need. In all actuality, it creates additional stress by adding late fees, damaging your credit and eliminating important money saving options in the future. Be careful! Also - just to clarify - utility companies can and will report on your credit (not just when you go into collections). Municipalities (city bills, library fines, parking or traffic tickets, etc. all of these things could potentially be reflected if ignored or left to sit for too long).
Are you working from a family budget? You must! It doesn't have to be fancy or complicated, but you must be able to look ahead and know when bills are due and what they average, how much is available for gas and groceries, where your overages are and when you can sqeeze in extras (like school clothes or pizza night). It is intimidating and not always fun to talk about, but your family is a business and you must run it as such.
I think you will be able to find ways to save and cut back in order to accomdate the payments that must be made.
Get creative! What talents and opportunties do you have? If you are qualified, get on the sub-list at your local school district. Painting? Photography? A skill you could teach a night or two a week at a community center? Could you clean homes or businesses in your neighborhood? Offer affordable childcare to a friend? Pet-sit? Have a garage sale? e-Bay or craigslist a craft item you make or outgrown children's clothes? Offer afterschool tutoring? Truly, the possibilities are endless! All of these opportunities provide cushion for that family budget or a means for the extras (like travel, Holiday shopping or school shopping) and can still allow you the flexibilty to seek more permanent employment when the opportunity arises.
Spend wisely... I can tell you that personally I hate coupons. However, I hate missing a chance to save a bundle of money even more, so the answer is easy. Pair coupons with weekly sale items and stock up on the staples when they are cheap. Also, plan your meals to include lots of low-cost items. Pasta and rice are very inexpensive and filling. Prepare pasta or rice dishes that contain meat and veggies and use left-overs for a next day casserole. Snack items and individually packaged items are very expensive. Buy larger sizes and pack snacks in small recyclable containers. Offer snacks like trail mix or popcorn instead of poptarts (a lot more bang for the buck). Buy a family size box of crackers instead of individual snack-size bags for school snacks and lunches. Shop carefully, plan ahead and get only what you need and you can save lots of $$$.
As far as your utilities, scale back or re-evaluate your needs. Kick the heat down a degree or two and turn off lights every time you leave the room. Skip the air conditioning an extra day or two each week. If you can't go without cable or internet, call your provider and ask for the latest promo package. They aren't interested in losing your business and can always find a way to save enough money to keep you as a customer. Look at your phone needs and usage. Can you eliminate your landline? Could you step down one package for your cell phone? Don't run water just to run it. Do laundry or run the dw only when you have a full load, shorten shower times, etc. Turn the TV off at night and when you no one is watching. Look around - I'm sure you'll think of even more ways to save.
If you owe medical bills, call your provider today and set up a payment plan. Pay them something every month and they will not send you to collections. In many cases you can pay as little as $10- each month as long as they know you are working on the balance and a payment is received on time every month.
Shop insurance rates. Could you get a discount for home and auto? Are you getting a multi-car discount? Could you adjust your deductibles and save some moeny? How about loalty discounts for being a long-term customer? If not, check out who can offer comparable coverage and a great intro. discount to make you a loyal customer.
Contact your credit card companies to see if you could reduce your interest rate. Don't bank on it, but it doesn't hurt to try. If you have a card with a much higher rate than the others, transfer the balance to the lowest interest card you have and pay the minimum until you are caught up and budgeted to address the full balance. Close the other account (don't just cut it up - you must close the account). High-interest credit card balances can eat you up quickly, but they are not the first priority in hard-times. Pay your minimums so that you are not accruing additional late fees or over-limit charges, but do not make paying them off your first priority. A place to live, basic food for your family and transportation are more important.
As far as your mortgage. You have to decide what is best for your family. Your 2nd mortgage IS a mortgage and your house is indeed the callateral. Even if you are always current on your first mortgage, you can go into foreclosure by skipping out on the 2nd. Research your options VERY carefully. There is a wealth of bad info. out there and lots of people who are way too willing to try to profit from someone else's down luck. Start your research at government sites or contact the United Way for trusted programs and local resources. Do not jump into any consolidation program without a great deal of research and reading of fine print. It should be your last resort.
Finally and most importantly, remember that you are not alone. Everyone is feeling the economic pinch, but we are all in control of how we react to it. Talk about money, plan for your family, research your options and stay up on current events and opportunities. This too shall pass... Good luck to you and your family. YOU CAN DO IT!