My story is really long so I will just give a basic outline. I got divorced 6 years ago and soon found out that our son is Autistic. He needs lots of medical care, doctors appointments, special schooling, time and attention. We also have another child (neurotypical). My son gets SSI disability and I also get child support for both children. Because our household income is so low, we also get foodstamps. We get by each month, but things are tight and I wish I could find a way to earn some money. I have a Legal Assistant A.S. Degree (Paralegal) and am also a member of Mensa but I have been out of the workforce for quite some time now (because my son needs so much care). Trying to re-enter the workforce with such outdated legal experience is just not possible I think. At this point, getting a job is just impractical because by the time I pay for before and after care for both kiddos I would basically just break even with what I am getting now for child support and my son's disability. I don't know if anyone would even hire me because I would need so much time off for my son's treatment and care. Summer care for them would be impossible financially, so the job would just about be pointless. My ex keeps threatening me to go back to court to get the child support lowered too. Also, I really have no support system to ask for help (no local family or friends and the ex barely gets them every other weekend). I realize that I am smart and my highest priority is taking care of my children, whom I love dearly, but I just feel worthless and useless. I feel totally stuck, like there is no way to improve our lives or situation that we are in. I am not depressed or anything like that.... just very very very frustrated! Anyone have any suggestions?????
What do you do now? Is there any chance for a raise? I know that working as a para in the schools would help you and you wouldn't have to pay for before and after care if you worked in the same school as him.
can you move to where your family lives? i don't really know what u would do in your situation. let your ex threaten you as much as he wants to, it's probably pointless. but i worry about you being all alone dealing with a lot, so being close to parents, siblings etc would probably be of some help to you.
How about some sort of re-certification that you could obtain online? Then maybe you could be an online "professor" for sites in your field. That would be my best suggestion. I also agree that if you could possibly move closer to a support system, that would be ideal. Hang in there! I'm sure you are sometimes overwhelmed but you are doing such a good job. Things will change...
this sounds like a good resource-you may already know about -getting involved and networking with parents that are similarly situated could give you the opportunity you need-good luck
Contact some attorneys and court reporters. You can do transcription at home! I did this for a while in my previous life. Made pretty good money and I worked after the kids went to bed. Also, if you can get in with a small firm, you can help with preparing paperwork for their clients at home as well. Also, contact your local bar association and put your name in there as well.
If you ex wants to take you to court, let him. He might just not get what he wants and they increase the child support instead. I read on here all the time about exs threatening the other with Court. Its so sad. You have other things to worry about then him being a bully.
Call the state office where a person files for food stamps and ask someone if the state has any respite programs. We get vouchers from the state of Oklahoma that are for paying someone to care for our grandkids.
The program in Oklahoma is OASIS and we fit into the benefit area due to being grandparents raising grandchildren but the main focus of the program is to help parents of kids with disabilities some much needed respite from caring full time for a child with disabilities.
I always find it hard to deal anytime "circumstances" dictate my actions--even when that "circumstance" is a beloved child!
Your son is about 6? The other kids are older? Soon, if not yet, he'll be in school more of the day, and although it will be a shorter work day, considering bus stop or driving him to in the morning and being home when he gets there--it should be a bigger "chunk" of daylight and with some luck and God's grace, maybe you can find something PT? There are GOOD PT jobs out there for people with experience. PT might lead to FT over time....you need to be looking down the road. Start looking for care now that fits him, that you trust.
OH! For a temporary fix to add a little cash flow--have you ever sold kids clothing/toys on ebay or Craigslist? You'd be amazed the cashflow that can generate if you put the effort into it--and you can do it anytime--day or night--in your underwear if need be! LOL
Good luck!
As for the appointments, maybe you & ex can work out a more shared schedule for getting him there....after all isn't it convenient for him to complain that you need to work, while allowing you to deal with the running?
You know there are lots of women on here that work from home with their own small businesses. I am one of them. Honestly, I don't make a ton of money, but I make some. The potential is there for the right person to do very very well........ not immediately usually, but if you take the time and stick to it. I just don't work very hard. You sound like a very smart woman. Why not explore some of these things and see if one interests you or feels right? There really isn't anything to lose but a little time. I originally bought in for $40! As I said I don't make much, but I make some...... and I no longer even work my business. But I have friends that make 6 figures doing their own business. Real legitimate and very nice people! Like I said, I don't make a lot because I don't really work my business, but my product is still a good product and so old customers stick with me and others occasionally seek me out.
In your research see what help is offered and how the company pays. In my group mentoring our fledgelings is important to us. Shoot me an email if you would like me to email you info or you would like to talk.
Why not work at home? With your background, you could probably be a virtual assistant. Go to www.wahm.com and visit the message boards. There are posts at the beginning of the categorized message boards that list companies that hire. Also, try www.ratracerebellion.com. It's another great source of work at home jobs.
Can you tutor typical or special needs kids??? They can come to your house. People are always looking for that special person who can connect with their child and help them. Since you already have the experience of autism maybe you can work with high functioning kids who need comprehension help, visualization and verbalization.
Have you considered being a paraeducator? You have some college, so it should not be too hard, and para eds typically work with kids with special needs, so your experience with your own child would help you with this.
Also, the hours would coincide with your own children's schooling, and you would only work during the school year, so summers would not mean childcare for you. The school district might even be willing to pay you on a 12-month salary, so that your summers won't be as hard. Paraeducators rarely work full time, and it might be that at first you only get 2-3 hours per day, but a friend of mine has done this for about four years, and now she works the full school day, but still gets out of work in time for her kids to be home.
Substituting might also be a possibility (if you have any mind to teaching). I know in Georgia one only needs 60 college credits earned and a few other requirements to be a substitute. I'm not sure what the Florida requirements are, however.
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Have you considered being a paraeducator? You have some college, so it should not be too hard, and para eds typically work with kids with special needs, so your experience with your own child would help you with this.
Also, the hours would coincide with your own children's schooling, and you would only work during the school year, so summers would not mean childcare for you. The school district might even be willing to pay you on a 12-month salary, so that your summers won't be as hard. Paraeducators rarely work full time, and it might be that at first you only get 2-3 hours per day, but a friend of mine has done this for about four years, and now she works the full school day, but still gets out of work in time for her kids to be home.
Substituting might also be a possibility (if you have any mind to teaching). I know in Georgia one only needs 60 college credits earned and a few other requirements to be a substitute. I'm not sure what the Florida requirements are, however.
