Fed Up

One morning when he is at home leave the house and stay gone for hours and hours. He has no choice to take care of the house and kids right? Warn your family and friends just incase he might call them for help. After a day of doing your job he will realize what you do. OH and if you need suggestions on what you can do to keep your self busy...go have lunch with friends, get your nails done, get your hair done, or maybe a massage. There is a place by me that will do it for $25 for an hour. Have a day of pampering yourself. Not sure what your financess are but if you dont have the money. Get a good book and go read it somewhere, Or you could go to a friends house where you hubby dont know is at and yall do each others nails. Heck take her kids to your house too. lol j/k Good luck

i don't mean this to sound flippant, but it sounds as thought you need to be talking to your husband, not us. let him know how you feel and that you are nearing the end of your rope. don't just hold it all in and steam over it. maybe he TRULY doesn't realize how much he's not helping. trust me, men don't see the things that need to be done the way that we do. i spent the first year as a stay at home mom annoyed that he didn't "help" more, why couldn't he see the dishes in the sink or the layer of dust on the floor? b/c he just didn't! we had a nice long discussion, and i have had to learn that if i want something done, i just need to ask, and he will almost 100% of the time do it - but he typically just doesn't "notice" what needs to be done. and i have to be quite specific, i can't just say "clean the living room up", i need to say "dust the tables with a rag and furn polish, then wipe off all the pic frames, then vacuum". i hope that that's all it takes, but i realize it may be a bigger issue than that. let him know that if he doesn't want to plug in and participate, you and the kids can make it as a family of your own. i'd rather be "alone" and happy than together and miserable. but i think you need to be honest and lay it all on the line(in a calm, nonaccusitory manner) before you "blow". good luck!

S., I see a key word "railroad". I am married (9 years) to a railroad man. I would be happy to share some of the things that have helped me through the years, especially when we had kids at home. Is he on the extra board or does he hold a regular job? Being married to a railroad man is so different from being married to a 8-5 man! I'm here if I can help! L.

Every mom feels like this at some point. Try to reduce the stress you put on yourself. Obviously (ulcers) you take on too much. Maybe later you can add more, but you have too much on your plate to handle it all. It is not fair to ask others to take on more because you're an overachiever. It takes one to know one, so don't think I'm being mean, just honest.

Think about what you must do to run the family and work and decide which work you're going to do. Three jobs is too many. Family and teaching or Family and decorating? Which of the two? You can't dump the family (though some days I've wanted to dump mine!)

Breathe. Begin the day doing something for yourself, even if you have to wake up 15 minutes earlier. Do some yoga stretches or make your cup of favorite tea and listen to you iPod for 15 minutes and chill.

Do what you can to make chores easier. Hire a maid if you can afford one. Make dinners on Sunday for the week (and have the maid come Monday to clean up!). Or go to a Dinner Station or Super Suppers.

You're in charge of calming yourself. You can't make your family responsible for that.

Let your husband know what changes you plan on making to help you, and maybe he'll offer to do some things. Or you can ask him if he'd mind doing one or two things, like take the kids out each week for an afternoon so you can be alone.

Pray. It really helps. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you peace.

Hello,

Yes, I have felt liked this before (more than once). Now I'm hurt and he is doing EVERYTHING! Now he sees what I have to do and looks at it from my point of view. I'm not saying get hurt but maybe sit down and talk to him or maybe write it down on paper everything you do and everything he does. Sometimes it is easier to understand it if you see it on paper. S., take care and keep your head up!

Truly,

Eliyah

S.
I know the feeling well. *smile
I have had my "end of the rope" for some time myself
but have been in a position I cant make any changes
right now- too many health issues. There is a point where you have to do what is best for you and kids. My health has suffered badly for my :hanging in: through the years and I have to think at this point..... was it worth it? When you
loose your heath you have lost everything and what good
are you to your children then? I totally regreat I let
myself get to the point I have, health wise. It makes it
very difficult now to do my business and provide the income
we need and puts a lot more stress on me.
What you ultimately decide to do is your own personal choice and you have to do what is right for you and feel at peace with God in the end.
We all have our days where we want to hit that man upside the
head with a cast iron skillet! ha BUT is it taking a harder
toll on you than just frustration? sounds to me from the ulcers ..it may be? I nearly put myself in the grave by staying
so many years- I now have kidney failure to deal with and dialysis 3 times a week and have some other issues due to a Dr who was incompetent which made matters worse.
I would not do it again and to be honest when I am able will be making major life changes- I have to for my own well being.
I have to put my faith in God to give me the strength I need each day and I pray for his guidance. IF you love your husband..
Hopefully you can find a way to "restructure" your family
where it will work better for you.