Fas Track Life

I am probably just one of the moms out here thinking:
Wow, I don't know you but I am proud of you!
You describe a very busy but wonderful family & life! You just need help focusing on your blessings. Feeling bad or guilty because your life is on the fast track just pulls down your energy.
One thing I can recommend to help you pump up your psyche is a gratitude exercise.
Every night before you go off to sleep recall 6 things from your day you feel grateful for. One for each sense plus one you feel in your heart. So it's 1) something that was pleasing to your eyes, 2) something that sounded good, 3) something that smelled good, 4) something that tasted good, 5)something that felt good to the touch and 6)something that touched your heart in a positive way.
You go off to sleep with all these good thoughts & feelings and it helps you wake up with & maintain positive energy. Do this for 3 or 4 weeks & you will see & feel an amazing difference.

I don't know how you do it, but I admire you for all you do. It sounds like you're doing great and shouldn't worry so much. The suggestions I have are pretty simple. Can you get a laundry service? I've never used one, but there are places you can leave your laundry (I think they may pick up and deliver too) and they will wash and fold it for you. Also, for dinners have you tried places like Dinners by Design? You can put together a month's worth of meals in a couple hours without shopping, chopping, or anything. They'll usually put them together for you too, for a fee. It's really a time saver. Use Peapod for your grocery shopping. Those things may cost a little, but it's temporary to get you through this tough time, and your sanity is worth at least that. Another option is to let the kids help cook. There are cookbooks made for that purpose, and if your kids are interested, it can be some great together time.
Don't over plan your weekends. Sometimes you'll just have more fun if you hang out at home, or go for a walk. When your little one is napping on the weekend, maybe you and your husband can each give one of the girls one on one time, and switch the next time. You can play a game with them or play catch, or just go for a walk and talk to them. Just spending time with them is the important part.
You need time for yourself too. That's something you can maybe manage to get at lunch at work? Read a book or go for a walk. Regular exercise does wonders for your outlook and mood. It also gives you more energy and makes you sleep better. Don't stress about everything, and let the housework slide sometimes. The dirty house will always be there, but your little ones won't be little forever. Keep up the good work, and good luck!

Oh mama. I only have 2 but in a similar situation so I empathize. Is it possible that on the weekends- you could do something alone with one child and rotate it by week who you do alone time with? Just something small may help make them feel more connected.

Is it at all possible for them to go to bed a little later so you have more time with them at night?

Let the house go a bit- save your sanity- do more takeout dinners...

It'll get easier sooner than you think. Hang in there and try to enjoy the little one wanting to be held.

Can you take a semester off school to recharge? Can you take some time off?

I know what you mean about rushing. I feel out of breath by the time I wake the kids up at 6:30 in the morning! (I'm up at 5 to get out by 7:15)

Oh Mama! Breathe Honey, breathe!!! =) I spent the last 17 months in graduate school myself so I know how stressful it is when you do not seem to have enough time. Sounds like your husband is doing the best he can with splitting cooking nights with you and being there on the weekends for the outtings with the kids. Can the kids go to bed a little later? My 11 year old goes to bed around 9:30p during school and my 7 year old goes to bed at 8:30 - 9p. How about a pizza night to give you both a break? Are the girls that filthy they need a bath every day? Wash all your clothes except whites in cold water. What a time saver that has been for me! I don't have to sort anything anymore - just dump it all in and the clothes still come out clean! It's a little greener too. Make a date with each of your older girls. The youngest gets enough of your time for now. Even if the date is something silly like going to Dunkin' Donuts for a donut and sitting outside while you eat or taking her to a park or to the mall to window shop. Something - some time spent one on one. There is no reason you have to entertain all the kids every second of the weekends. You can have some time to yourself. The kids are old enough to play on their own with exception of the youngest but there are two other children in the house to play with and there is also Daddy!

Relax! And good luck!

Blessings to you!

WOW - I echo what the other mommies are saying back. It's hard to find extra time let alone quality time ... Here's what I did a couple of years ago in order to afford a nanny while my youngest was a newborn: take a day off of work and scrutinize your budget - don't do anything else but that. Your goal is to "find" money so that you can afford to get help, whether it's someone to come over in the morning to get the kids to school/daycare; pick them up; babysit at night 2x a week (maybe one week night and one weekend day) for the next several months. You are not abandoning your responsibilities as a mom, but finding a way to not stretch yourself beyond your capacity and therefore being a better person to yourself, your husband and kids.

I had a nanny for 18 months and after "getting over" not being the person to change my baby in the morning and put my baby down some nights (when he went to bed at 6!!), I embraced the help and was able to relax. He is now in daycare, but I got the break I needed.

As for weekend babysitting, sometimes we indulge on a babysitter with a start time of 3 p.m. and we're home by 9! You can be creative on how to use the late-day sitter. One week it can be for just you and your husband. One week you and husband can go your own ways for a few hours and meet up for dinner. One week you can take your 8 year old out and husband can go to the library and study.

Good luck and be good to yourself.

Honey, you are overwhelmed and rightly. What's your husband doing besides school and studying? He has to step up and help out with picking up kids, laundry, dishes, and private time for you. My daughter went thru college, got her masters and worked. If your husband carries his end, your mom will probably do some laundry when you drop off the baby. I did everything to help my daughter and still do so that she doesn't have to suffer too much while sacraficing herself and sleep, etc.

D. -
WOW - you really are living a fast track life! :-) You must be incredibly organized and capable of handling alot of things at one time to be doing all that you are! I hear that your children and husband are very important to you and you really desire to give them your energy and focus . . . but I can't imagine the struggle of trying to do that while also go to school and work full time. What is really getting the best of your time and energy is your work . . . I really think that we as women need to realize that WE CAN"T HAVE IT ALL!! I think that's a myth that has only made it harder on us . . . EVERYTHING in life has a cost - everything! The key is counting that cost and determining what we are willing to pay, in which areas.
It seems that your kids (and you) are truly wanting quality time together - but quality time only really happens in the context of a QUANTITY of time. Since you asked :-) my advice to you is to work part time or not at all. I know (full well) what that can mean - if you're like me, you'll have to make some life-style changes (maybe major )as a result of loss of income - but I have found that it's totally worth it so that life is more in balance, time and energy can be given to what is most important, and your kids don't really care about the $$ - they just want YOU.
I know this is a really hard decision, and people can have very strong feelings surrounding family/work balance. I just read your message this morning and my heart went out to you . . . I have to remind myself that I can always go back to my career, but this time with my kids will quickly pass - I won't EVER get to go back to it . . . so when I'm 70, what choices will I have wish I had made? What would I go back and change? I'd rather regret the loss of some work time and $ then ever regret the time I didn't have with my kids.
Just some thoughts for you . . . hope its helpful in your processing! Blessings - CJ (wife 11 yrs, mom of 2.5 :-) 4,2,& due in Nov! Work part time . . .

Hi D.,

You are such a busy mom. Can you afford hiring a nanny instead of taking your children to daycare before school and the baby to grandma??? If you had someone coming to your house or even living in your house with you (a live in nanny), you would have more time. This person could take the kids to school, watch the baby, and maybe even do the laundry for you.

Life sometimes is complicated, but we just have to pick and choose what is REALLY important in life. I think that family is more important than anything else.

Make sure that you can squeeze in date time for your and your husband in the weekends too.

Cheers!