The older I get the more I realize I am not who I thought I would turn into, but in my case at least, that is definitely NOT a bad thing. I grew up figuring that some day I would have kids because that's what you do, not because I particularly wanted kids of my own or because I ever felt some need for kids.
I was not the girl who dreamed about a big white dress on her wedding day or some whirlwind marriage. Thank goodness for all of that because none of those things worked out for me the way I think they do for most. I do have kids & I absolutely cannot imagine what my life would be like without them.
I have had some struggles in my life, but hey, who hasn't, right? I am married, have been for almost 13 years. We got married young & had kids immediately. I don't regret any of those decisions, but I do wonder sometimes if I had it to do over would I make the same ones? I would like to have finished college, but if I had done that I would not have had my son when I was 22 years old. Would things have been easier financially? Absolutely. But I may have missed out on 1 of the 2 most amazing people I know in this world.
One of my closest friends is 17 years older than me. I love her dearly & trust her judgement emphatically, though we do not always agree. I am a few years older than her daughter, she is several years younger than my mother though we do not have a mother/daughter relationship, as a lot of times I am the one giving the advice, not the one receiving it. I have realized over the past couple of years that we have known each other that I am capable of being much more open, compassionate, logical, funny & just all around better than I ever thought I would or could be.
That is NOT to say that I am perfect, I still have a lot of personal work to do on myself. One of my biggest issues this lifetime has been with my self-confidence/self-worth. That has been a life-long struggle & I have my ups & downs with it. I do think that one day I will conquor my issues, I'm on my way, but it hasn't happened yet.