Does anyone have family meetings where you discuss certain things such as disipline and goals? What else do you talk about and has it helped? I have a almost 7 yr old and want her to feel she has a voice but also that mommy and daddy still rule the roost...
We all talk around the dinenr table at night. I also do a rose and thorn of the day with each kid as we snuggle before bedtime at night.
Any ideas as to how to get my 7 yr old to have more of a conversation? She started this my worst part of the day was school, the best part was everything else...same answer from her for 2 weeks now :-(
Nope, no family meetings, no need in my opinion there are just three of us and I have discussions with my son all the time to clear up any confusion.
We've had family meetings almost weekly even before we had kids. As the kids came along, the topics and length and activities have changed to meet our family's needs. Anything is a possible topic, but we do choose one topic to focus on for each meeting. We take turns, including the kids (7 & 5, but not the 2 yr old just yet) presenting a lesson (manners, respect, being kind, prayer, music, making good choices, welcoming a sibling, being thankful, money management, being a good friend, etc), and we have a family activity (sometimes go out, but mostly play a game or make a treat together). The kids actually love having an opportunity to teach a lesson, but mostly they love being together in a positive way and knowing that they are an important part of the family and that mom and dad do want to listen to what they have to say. Sometimes we pick a theme for the month and each week we'll focus on a different aspect of it. Other times we'll pick a topic to address a specific issue we're dealing with. Occasionally if a child is having difficulty with something, we'll have them give a lesson on that (lots of fighting with brother = lesson on speaking kindly and loving our family members). As our kids get older we definitely want them to have a forum where they can be in on family decisions, and this way it's already a normal part of our family's schedule, and prioritizes it. But the kids definitely know that mom and dad rule!
Every Monday night our family would gather together. My parents had a mini lesson or activity about some sort of virtue or something practical like fire safety, how to change a tire.... We usually sang a song, read some scriptures, had a snack, played a board game... Then we pulled out our planners and planned out the week together, you know like cheerleading on Wednesday, birthday party on Saturday at 1 and such so we could make arrangements. Then, we discussed any other issues we had that week, like setting goals to be better at helping with the dishes or making decisions together as a family. We did that ever since we were really young. My boys are still very young, but we still try to do this with them more as they get older, it was really successful for my family growing up, maybe you can implement something similar. We also talk openly on a daily basis during dinner, but having the one formal night set aside helped a lot.
My parents use to do that during lunch or diner time when everyone was at the table. It creates a more casual atmosphere and it is family time anyway. We talked about everything.
I intent to do the same with my family :)
S
I think part of your question is how to get your 7 year old to talk. I have an 8 year old, and we've struggled with this at times, as well. My husband & I refused to accept that answer. We make our kids pick one thing that was good to tell us about. Or, in your case, have her pick one thing at school that she really doesn't like. That'll get her talking about what she doesn't like & possibly you can help her like school more.
Sometimes still, my kids only say one thing & don't talk any further than that. That's when we start asking about what they did in art, or who they played with at recess. When we start asking specific questions like that, they always end up thinking of fun things to share about their days. (We have a son, as well.) Just keep asking questions because you care -- not just to force them to talk. =)
Growing up, we always had family meetings. I think they are healthy and that they DO let everyone feel as if they have a voice and a say in certain things...it also lets the whole family feel as if they are on the same page.
When my kids get older if we have the need I will be implementing the Family Meetings!
We only have a "family meeting" when we need to lay down the law.
However, every night we all have dinner in the dining room and we go around the table and share your "rose and thorn" of the day. Basically the good and the bad.
We just started a devotional "meeting" right before the kids hop in the shower. We thought it would be a good thing to do for them to sort of quiet down before bed and also to talk things out. It is christian based, tells a story and then has questions you can ask the kids to start a discussion and see where they stand on things. So far its helped to get them to talk to us.
My father was controlling, our family meetings lasted all night and were torture.
We just talk over family dinner. If the kids want to ask us something, they can come to us anytime. So far, no need for family meetings. (the kids are 16, 15, 10 and 7)
Yes!! We have family meetings - besides discussing the "normal" stuff like behavior, friends, chores, school, etc., we will also discuss vacation options and weekend activities. I've been consolidating shopping trips so we go over what we need - groceries, personal items, school supplies. Then we turn the tables and the kids get to say what they think of MY behavior - how can I improve as a parent!! Am I spending enough time with them, giving them enough attention, etc. This is the time they get to be totally honest without getting in trouble!!! This helped me realize there is always room for improvement on both sides!!
This has worked really well for us as a family.
Good luck!!!
