Family Loss

I am sorry for your loss first and for most. Please take your husbands help when you feel you need him, let him help you. He said he wanted to, don't hide it from him, let him comfort you. I do pray you would have faith regarding dealing with Christmas Season and all you have gone through. Let you daughter enjoy the season, she doesn't understand your pain, but try to turn your pain into strength for her and possible other child to be.
May God comfort you with His Blessings. R.

Veni,

I know the feeling of your loss but in order to be able to move forward to the happiness that is waiting for you, you have to let go of the past. I'm not sure what your faith is and how your practice it but I truly can say that I would never have been able to overcome the obsticles and the pain i've endured without God in my life. I can honestly say I would have lost my mind along time ago. God gave me the peace and forgiveness within myself to be able to let go of the past and allow myself the blessings of today and the future ahead. Just take some time to look for him....I promise you, it will help in ways you never thought possible.

If you ever want to talk, or even go to church with me...feel free to email me and we can get together. ____@____.com

Grief tends to stay with you and actually can grow and get worse if it is not dealt with. Would you consider seeking out grief counseling, either through your church or a therapist? No doubt you have tried to "overcome" your feelings because you feel that you have to "be strong," etc., but in reality that denial is making you weaker. Your reaction however is perfectly normal. In grief counseling you can find ways to face your feelings and let it out and possibly find some peace. If you find some peace, you may be able to find something joyous about the Christmas season. I speak from experience; grief counseling helped me a great deal. I have not lost a child although I have had two miscarriages, but I can understand that the loss of a child at such a young age would be unbearable and would be so hard to get over all by yourself. Many churches have grief counseling groups; that's a good place to start. Good luck to you and try to be nice to yourself this time of year.

You should really consider some grief counseling or any kind of counseling. I too lost a baby and one of the main problems with that marriage was that we greived separately. The holidays are always difficult for me and I almost dread them. I have lost several very important people to me, including my dad, just days before Christmas. I still get a knot in my stomach as it approaches and I've learned that I need to talk myself out of it. What helps more than anything is that I want to give my children fond memories of the holidays and something to look back on. The one thing that keeps me going is to count my blessings, my 3 biggest being my children. All the children I've lost, I have 3 of the most wonderful gifts. Having another child does not reflect in any way that you have forgotten the one you've lost, but don't have another one until you have it for the right reasons and you know in your heart that you are ready. God's blessings to you and your family.

I dont have alot of advice for you, but I know how Christmas can be hard. My mother suddenly had a stroke back in Dec 2000, at the age of 44, was in a coma for a week, she quit breathing on her own and lost brain function, so we turned off the machines on Christmas Eve day. I was only 23 at the time, my sister 16. It was really hard on our family as we were all really close. My dad lost the love of his life. My husband (fiance at the time), as well as his family was very supportive and nurturing. I dont know how I would have gotten through that time. It is somewhat hard every Christmas, but I have to think that God had a special plan for my mom. She is my Christmas angel. Take the support your husband or other family/friends is trying to give, as its ok to cry and lean on others when you need it. Even though we dont know one another, I would like to keep you in my prayers this holiday season. God Bless.

I had an amniotic fluid embolism when I gave birth to my 1st (and only) child. My kidneys & lungs failed, & I was put into a coma for a month. The 1st year was horrible, & I feel that every year has gotten better. I'm not in any way saying what happened to you was the same as what happened to me. I just know that I had a good life, & them BAM!...something terrible happened to turn it all upside down. The shock has still not worn off for me.

Get help. Do something about this. I hope that things will get better for you.