Exhausted in Romeoville

Hi K.:

Here is one suggestion for you. Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I have been a big sister for over 8 years in DuPage County. Now that I have started a family of my own and my "little sister" is now a free-wheeling 16 year old, our relationship has moved to a new place where we don't see each other as often. But, my experience in her younger days was great for me, her and her mother (also a single Mom). The time that she and I spent together was fantastic for us to interact like sisters and also gave her Mom that time for herself. We normally saw each other 2-3 times per month.

It is a terrific program and having gone through the screening to participate, I feel that they do a very good job of selecting only the right "bigs" for the program. Not surprisingly, many of the "bigs" that I have interacted with over the years were "littles" when they were kids. They got so much out of the program, that they chose to volunteer their time later in life. I would strongly encourage you to look at this avenue. It is certainly NOT a babysitting service, but it will allow your children to build their own individual relationships with their "big" and have some independence that will hopefully lessen the fighting and disagreeing. It will also give you time either for yourself or to give more one-on-one time to the other children when one or more are with their "bigs".

I believe the starting age is 8, so right now, only your 10 year old would qualify. Here is the website for DuPage county - www.metrofamily.org.

I feel like I am rambling a bit, but feel free to email me if you have any questions.

Good luck!
M.

Dear Exhausted

I wish I lived close enough to help you. But let me tell you that your parenting skills are awesome. You love them enough to do whatever it takes to make a better future. That is the most important thing. PERIOD. I hope in my heart that you see how strong you really are. Not many people could do what you are doing - let alone with 4 kids. One thing that really helped me was the nanny 911 book. I have 2 kids under 3 and work full time w/ a husband that travels up to 3 weeks at a time so I know about limited time. This book is an easy read (read for 5 minutes here and there) but you can also get advise on the websight since you obviously have a computer. Do check it out - it has saved me countless times.

While I can't rescue you - you can count on me as a friend..Since it is my bible - I can't part with my book but I can scan some pages for you so you don't need to buy the book.

Hi!
You're not alone...I am moving to Bolingbrook (right next to you)on Sunday. I am kind of scared since I too am a single mom of 3. 2 girls and 1 boy who will be 2 in April. I'm kind of scared though since I really don't know anyone over there. I'm from Chicago, so everything I know is here, but being a single mother, it's gonna be even more tough on me now than what it already is. Although dad "exist", it's like he hasn't figured out his priorities yet, even after the 3rd child. I too am tired of hearing the criticism, like " oh, why did you have more kids with him", and "oh, you should kick him to the curb", and really I'm just tired if being sick and tired! I don't want advice or criticism either, I just want someone to understand ME and know full well what I'm feeling because they are or have gone through the same. So I think that we could be great friends! I would love to talk with you if you ever need someone to talk to, just message me, and if anything, I'll be right down the road soon, literally! I'm 24, my girls are 4 and soon to be 6 in April, and I told my son is the same age as yours. I didn't finish school, and I started doing the H.S. course online, but didn't complete that since I got pregnant and stopped working so I couldn't keep up with the tuition. I would LOVE to go back to school, but find it hard when you have to work to take care of yours kids, and then you want to spend time with them, so it'll be hard to take night classes, especially with no sitter at night. So for now, I work my office hours while they're in daycare, and when they get older, I'll go back to school. So if anything, I think you can get a hold of me on here, I'm not sure how it really works since I am new to MamaSource.
Good Luck!

Well Congrats on going to school, once you finish more doors will open to you. My sugegstion to you is this... you need to look into the local moms club its very inexpensive and can be rewarding. Next and this is gonna be right to the point GET YOUR BUTT DOWN TO FRIEND OF THE COURT AND GET CHILD SUPPORT IMMEDIATELY!! I don't know why you have not done this in the past I am sure you have reasons.. do it NOW! You do need the money and should have the money if the Dads don't want to be involved well you can't do anything about that but you deserve and your children deserve to have financial support. I would also recommend becoming involved with a church. Churches do so much to help people in need. Yes it means attending which your children may enjoy and get you away fromt he 4 walls!! Maybe it will help some behavior issues too!! I do applaud your efforts on going to school and having kids doing well in school that is great under such circumstances!!! I am sureitsa difficult but all you can do is move forward - Good Luck

I just wanted to say hello I also go to UOP But I go to the Warrenville on thrursday nights. I have 4 kids that live with me and 4 that are my step children and don't. I was asingle mom until about 3 years ago but still it feels that way because my husband has had his back hurt since May of 04 and i take care of my mom who has dementia it is a challenge. the 4 kids that live with me there ages are 5,7,10,and 12. The 7 and 12 year old have birthdays next month. my 13 yr old has adhd and bipolar and odd. My 10 year old is bipolar and is starting puberty and the 7 year old has PDD. And my 5 year old is just a typical goofy 5 year old. I also have every weekend almost my cousins 3 month old and 22 month old. I have 4 kids two dads maybe 3 (longggg story) so every body has things. It happens. You seem to be on the right path going to school. If you wanna contact me feel free.