My ex partner who fathered my son but left when I was 7 mths pregnant and never wanted the child, etc..... was made aware that I had a child and we have had a tumultuous 3 yrs with court and access and I have full custody and he no longer has access but last August the courts agreed that a restaining order from seeing the child due to his neglectful parenting and harassing behaviour towards me was warranted. He has not tried to acknowledge to the child via birthday or Christmas that he wants to be in his life. So all that being said...I have recently been advised that he is using a picture of my son on a dating site to troll for dates with woman but has not tried (through the courts or me) to have access to the child and has not paid support payments for the chiid. It bothers me to see this and am wondering if I should just let it go or pursue through the court system to get support payemts or email him and ask him to stop using his photo? My son does not want to see him and does not miss him and is doing fine and I do not want to start anything to harm my child? Any thoughts? I also have health issues that I am getting remedy for and don't need the added stress but always have my son's best interest in heart/mind. Thanks.
He does not have custody or guardianship and a judge ruled that he have no contact. He has been given options to use family services to learn parenting but he has declined. So with regards to this recent concern with using my sons pic to troll for women. I did contact the site and also him and he got verbally abusive with me but I did not reply. I only wanted the pic removed and it has been removed now. I am always consideriing when to go back to court and either file to have support payments or severe his parental rights completely but it will be an expensive and lengthy process and I don't feel strong enough to do it just yet. I am managing fairly well for now and my son is growing wonderfully. Thanks for the responses.
How does he have current pictures of your son? Why are you trolling the internet to keep up with him? The only thing you should be doing is seeking child support through family court and have him pay directly through their office. As for the rest of the stuff, let it go, you have a court order.
Blessings....
Ok, men do this all of the time, here is the drill of what they say:
My ex won't let me see my son, he is the light of my life, I live and breathe for him and she won't let me see him... then makes up some horrid stories of things that never happened so he can get her sympathy. One of these women *hopefully* will at some point have money and get him a lawyer and get him what he says he wants because she wants a built in family and she will take care of the kid and him and his life will be made and you will be miserable. That's the plan at least, I know because my BIL does this with no shame. You can either know that you are fine because you have CYA (covered your a$$) and he has no leg to stand on or you can try to fight it but really it is a picture of his son and he is free to use it.
No matter what, YES, you should go to court for the support. Can you contact this dating site and tell them it is your son who you have legal custody of and you want his photo removed immediately?
I agree with Toni V. Get the support your son deserves but stop keeping track of your ex. I don't know how CA works, but in MN you can get his wages garnished without even going to court.
I'd go to court for child support and to prohibit the man from using your child's photo when he's never tried to seek visitation or pay child support.
Do you, have child custody determined?
As an aside, what if he then, maybe, starts to use your son... as a way to get dates and have relationships.
Meaning, what if, he one day wants to have, physical custody of your son, as a way to get women? Who may also have children?
Who knows.
There are different types of child custody. And I would really, research this.
Here is a link on it:
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/types-of-child-cus...
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/maritalproblems/p/chil...
http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/a/typesofcu...
The thing is, he IS using your son's photo, to troll for women.
Then he will inevitably hook up with them. And, if one day, the woman says "oh can I meet your son?" or, "We should get our kids together..." then what??? He may then, try and get your son, and custody of him.
And/if... one day he re-marries or has a Fiance.
Ya never know.
Think ahead.
Be wise.
Get your ducks in a row.
And do it now.
Get custody, pinned down for your and your son's benefit.
Think ahead.
Hi J.,
Being a divorced single mom I know I go through some pretty hard financial times. If you on the other hand are lucky enough to not have to be burdened by strained finances I say just let this go. I understand it's galling to have this man use your son this way, but as it's not directly affecting your son, why bring it to his attention?
Unless the picture is somehow crossing any other lines or it somehow puts your son in danger, it's not really worthwhile to get this man involved in your child's life. Taking this to court may mean he then gets visitation if he can "prove" he now has an interest in getting to know his son. Wacky as it may seem, unless his rights were terminated a judge has to recognize them. If you do decide to do anything, I say make sure his rights are terminated first.
The most important thing is you remain available for your son. If this adds a stress level to your health that may prevent your presence, then really just forget about it. I suppose you could contact him to ask he stop using the picture but if he says no or is rude or obnoxious, can you deal with the stress? It doesn't sound to me as if you ex is worth the hassle.
It sucks that your ex is behaving like this but if he still has rights to your son there really isn't anything you can do. You might try contacting the dating site and requesting the photo be removed but if he is still a legal parent/guardian they might not comply.
If you really don't want him to have images and he's getting the pictures of your son from a social networking site don't upload anymore and make any previous albums private. Ask your friends/family to do the same.
I highly suggest starting the process to terminate his parental rights rather than seek child support. Money is not worth having the stress and instability your ex causes. Also, It sounds like you might have willful child abandonment which can make terminating rights slightly easier. Once his rights are terminated the dating site will definitely take any images of your son down at your request.
I would contact the dating site and let them know that he has a restraining order and that he is not to be using your son's photo on their dating site..they will most likely take it down..i contacted a site once b/c some person was using my pix and pretending that they were me..and i just contacted ..the site didn't know if i was the real me but they believed me and removed the person.
dd
