Ex-husband's New Wife

I wish I could help, but I don't know what you're asking. I'm a "stepmom" and could offer a unique point of view if you could let us know what you need advice on.

I didn't see the original question, but as a child of multiple divorces, I am going to be super blunt and just throw advice out there based on what I read from the other posters.

If you do not ALL act like responsible polite ADULTS and CO-parent the child together, you will pay for it in the end. Your daughter did not ask to be in the situation of a divorce and custody but she's stuck with it. It is ALL of your jobs to make it the best possible relationship possible, to be mature, and to deal with it. She shouldn't have to pay. Whatever pain you are experiencing, multiply it by 2 or more, then add not being able to understand or control what is going on.

You can't. The best thing for you and your family is to accept what is.

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You really can't but you can sit down together as parents (bio and step) and come together for the sake of your daughter. Choose to respect each other as people and co-parents and do what is best for the child. Having more than two parents to love and nuture a child doesn't have to be harder and can be wonderful for the child/children involved.

Lay down some ground rules...all can be involved but when in disagreement the bio-parents have the final say (if they don't agree then it comes down to the custodial parent)....or whatever you all can work out.

Be allies in raising your daughter.

I'm confused!
I missed the question and I am hoping his new wife isn't 8 years old...

:(

Wow! Why would you want to?
Aren't you divorced?

How about you push your ex-husband out of the picture. He is an ex for a reason. If you do not have any children with him then there shouldn't be any reasons to contact him. If you do have children with him then you can't push either one out of the picture.

For the kids sake get along with her and be nice even if you don't want to. This woman is caring for your children and the nicer you are to her the easier it is on your kids.

I have been a step mom and now I have to get along with my ex-husband for the sake of my own children. I do not like him at all and vice versa. My kids would never know the level of "dislike" I hold for their Father because we both made a commitment when we divorced that we would maintain a healthy and supportive co-parenting relationship. It is hard, so very hard but I do it so my children will not be more messed up than they have to be. As a stepmom, it is hard too. Your divorce decree lays out your visitation. If you and your ex had some other custody arrangement then you should talk to him. I never, ever talked to the ex-wife about the stepdaughter, that was husband's job. We would discuss the best course of action after he got off the phone. He would then call her back and they would hash it out. Having more people in your daughter's life that care is important as the teenage years are coming up. I wish you luck and hope that ya'll can work this out. You have to keep your personal feelings regarding the ex & his wife to yourself. Vent to friends or your Mother.

Why would you want to do that? How about minding your own business and moving on.

EDIT* What is the step mom doing that has you so upset?

Why do you keep deleting your question? This isn't making any sense, who is 8 years old? At first I thought it said How do I push her out of the picture? Then I went back and this was up. If you need to add something to your question just click edit, and add it in there.

It would be a better service for you and your daughter for you to foster a healthy relationship. If you stress out the new wife and the ex husband, ultimately your daughter will suffer and so will you. What exactly do you mean by she is trying to take over your daughter's everyday life? How old is your daughter? If she is a little girl she really does need help doing things? If she is around 10-12 she can do many things herself but still needs a woman's touch in her life. The more women that love her the better.

I'm a stepmom and it's not an easy job but meddling and/or negative ex's can make it harder than it needs to be for the child. The child doesn't need that. I wish you would reconsider your position for the sake of your daughter's emotional and developmental health as well as your own wellbeing.

Updated

Really at 8 she still may need to be told what to wear, how to do her hair and many other thngs. While she is at your husbands, she actually has more things in common with the new wife since all girls have the same stuff and needs. I would try to get to the bottom of things and let your little girl know all of the adults are on the same page. If you are not on the same page, you may need to work things out. Try not to be bitter or controlling because you can only control you and not another adult. Compromise where you can and pick you battles with doing the best thing for your child at the center of every decision you make. I have found that really has so little to do with how I feel and have had to adjust my stance accordingly because my feelings weren't what was best for the child.

I'm wondering WHY you want her gone?? Are there children involved?

EDIT: YOU are the only mother your daughter will ever have. Her dad's new wife is her step-mom and may be over-zealous about her 'new role'. Unless she's being hurtful or abusive, try to step back and see how things play out for a little bit. Don't argue with her. One person alone cannot have an arguement :) How old is your daughter? And how long have your ex and his new wife been married?

how is she in the way what is she doing

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how is she in the way what is she doing

why would you want to push her out of the pic? he is ur ex he has moved on lol....maybe u need to put as to why u want this u dont give much detail

Um, I'd like to answer your question but it seems to be lacking something.

How old is your daughter????

It's not about you anymore. Sorry. It's about making this crazy life the best it can be for your daughter. You need to help your daughter to accept her new step-mom. Help her to come up with what is positive about this new situation. It will start to feel good for you, knowing that you are helping your daughter. Your daughter needs to learn that the best way to deal with frustration is to always look at what she does have, not what she doesn't or can't.

I agree more details would be helpful as I'm not really sure what you are asking.

You are always going to be her mom. The best thing you can do is work with your ex and his wife on visitations and taking care of your daughter. They can't interfere with you seeing your daughter they have to abide by whatever custody agreement you have. If you can I would talk to them and set a schedule for when you see your daughter.

Good luck!