Hi C.,
I would find a doctor (or better yet a midwife) who only does episiotomy's as the very last resort. I had a 9 lb 8 oz baby and did not need an episiotomy... although I had a midwife at the hospital.. and midwifes will massage you down there and open you up naturally to help the baby come through.
I do not know where you live, but many states have midwife programs at local hospitals or the university hospitals. We are in Oklahoma and I was 7 months along and seeing an OBGYN and she told me there was no way to avoid an episiotomy.. Well she was wrong, and I did avoid an episiotomy thanks to a midwife! I was also able to have my baby without an epidural (by choice) which is another thing my doctor told me I would not be able to do. Bottom line here if a doctor is already telling you you'll have to have an episiotomy than it tells me he is not willing to massage you and wants to take the easy way out for himself and give an episiotomy. By the way, on my second baby the midwife told me to stop pushing so she could massage me and I thought she said push... and I pushed hard and the baby came flying out so I did get a small tear, but I had no pain with it like you would an episiotomy.
I really hope this helps! Good luck!