Encouraging Stories from Families Who Have Moved a LOT

well i haven't moved as much as you have, just 8 times in 11 years (since coming to the states). i have made great friends along the way. I keep in touch with those near and dear to my heart but time can go by without contact, and then we pick up where we left off. we still own a home in one the places we used to live so we go there once a year and i get together with my girlfriends. others, come visit us wherever we are living, usually for 2-3 days. i have to make friends, for my kids' sake especially, my husband too. he's shy and not forward in creating friendships as he has led a lonely life until we got married. now he loves it because we have people visiting and he has actually made friends with my friends and their husbands.
i hope to have friends when i grow old and grey :) although i am perfectly content with myself and a good book in hands.
i actually hope to pick up traveling or join a humanitarian organisation later on in life, after kids are all grown and taken care of. that will be my relief and something to live for. don't give up on making friends. it's always good to be noticed, and talked to, don't you think?
:)

Aww, don't ever give up on making new friends. The world is so small these days with all this new technology that it is very easy to stay in contact with lots of them, new and old. I love facebook. My husband and I just moved to a new town 4 years ago. I really havent made any new friends here, lots of acquaintances but no one I would consider as a bestie. I still keep in touch with lots of my friends from school, and I graduated in 75, we all have facebook accounts so we keep up with each other there. I keep up with my friends from the last town I lived in.... but we are all so busy working none of us can actually do a physical visit.... that's what phones and texting and internet are for. As for having a g/f to go to the movies with and such, I've never been that type of person since I've been married. I do that stuff with the hubanoid ;)
I've decided to friend someone from here on my facebook account so we will be learning a little more about each other when we start sharing there... who knows she could end up being one of my besties and we may even meet up some day... there's nothing wrong with that, no different than an online dating service that hooks someone up. My stepdaughter met her husband that way and they are still very much in love after 5 years.
Moving is crazy, I know. I've moved a lot too. I think it's great that you wont have to move again for 10 years, it's nice for the kids to be able to complete highschool at just one school as that is where most of our "long term" friend relationships form.
Just remember that God puts people in your life for seasons and sometimes forever, the one's that you lose along the way just weren't meant to be keepers. It takes effort to remain friends, so those that you don't want to lose, make sure you drop them a card or give them a phone call now and then just to keep it open. I watch my 84 yr old MIL with her little gaggle of ladies, they become fewer as we grow old cuz they start croaking so you have to enjoy them while you have them.

One of my best friends from high school married into the military and has moved a lot! She does two things:
1) keeps in touch with all of us old friends back home to this day (it's been 20 years) AND
2) is friendly enough to make new friends in the new place....always.
Granted she is super friendly but you, too, can do that even if you're not naturally overly friendly. You just have to put yourself out there a little bit.
You don't have to be fake or ridiculously friendly.
Just be open.
Smile at people in the grocery store or bank.
Smile at people you see habitually then if you're standing next to them one day make idle chit chat about the weather to start a conversation.
Or always ask questions about themselves. People like to talk about themselves and it makes them open up a bit.
Be nice.
Be friendly.
Join a mommy group or volunteer in your kid's class if you can.
You can volunteer somewhere (I personally never liked that one). :)
Be friendly (but not overly friendly or intrusive) with your immediate neighbors.
Always smile at people you run into habitually and say "hello".
If you're working outside the home, you'll be able to meet people at work.
Just be open, friendly and not over intrusive and you can open yourself up to meeting some new people.
The friend I referenced would strike up a conversation with ANYONE at the grocery store in line, at the bank, waiting for an elevator etc. Good luck!

Mum,

I'm a military spouse who is finally in one place for a while. My heart broke when my oldest said he didn't have a hometown. He has attended 8 schools. I told him this current place is our hometown. We had to embrace it and we would be accepted. I would not have chosen this place but my husband has work here. So I make the most of being here.

I attend classes at the community college. I could be mom to most of the other students but it great to see them around town (grocery store, Panera, Target). I make it point to always say hi to them. It feels good to know people. I make conversation with every cashier at the grocery store. If service is slow that is an opportunity to get to know the people working or the other customers.

If you find it difficult to initiate conversation, try just a few phrase: "Good morning, how are you today?", "Is always this busy?", "Do know where I can (get a haircut), (get my nails done), (buy fresh flowers)?"

Think about spending some time with your far away friends. Every summer I take a trip with a group of women. Nothing fancy. We just spend time together. I'm still friends with people from high school but I haven't been in that town for over 15 years. I fully intend to grow gray with my high school friends, my military friends, and the my new hometown friends. It will take a little effort but so worth it.

Good luck.
~K.

I am retired military and have the itch to move but with the economy and things we will continue to stay put.

Yes it is had to continually say goodbye but you get to meet new people. Do you have any hobbies (sewing, scrapbooking, quilting or cooking)? If so seek out where they meet and go. Some of my best friendships have come from these sources. If your children are still in middle school you may make some good friends there with other parents. Go back to school by taking a class and meeting your classmates. There is always the volunteer work.

Sometimes I miss the thought of not growing old and gray with kids I went to elementary school with but that is okay. Over time many of them have moved away or have gone to the other side. Last weekend was my 45th high school class reunion which I did not attend due to medical and financial issues. But there is a core group that keeps many of us in touch via email so I am awaiting the photos of my former class mates.

As my husband says, we do have history here with all the people you do know like the mayor, retired chiefs of police, lawyers and bankers and such. Also there are several retired military women that I associate with through mutual interests. Another I worked with and she and her duaghter are like part of my extended family.

So it can work you just have to make it work. As you know some friends are for seaons and others are for reasons and long term. You will know which ones are which.

Enjoy your stay where you are and do explore the region and get to know where everything is. It is another chapter in your life. Start a journal and one day write a book about who, what and where you have moved and grown.

Best of luck and happiness to you. Remember to stop and smell the roses along the way.

The other S.

PS Be positive, remember the little kid with the pile of manure. There must be a pony in here somewhere. If you think that way you will have less fear and worry and attract new people to you.

I just moved 4 months ago for the first time to a diffrent town and Ihave more friends here than I had there. it was a real cliquish town this one isnt. you can make the best out of all situations if you chose too. good luck and just cause you move doesnt mean you have to lose old friends. my other half has moved alot and still has a friend who he is still friends with 4 moves later. :)

I am 22 I moved to 3 different elementary schools. 4 middle schools, and three high schools. I graduated from high school in 2007, and moved in with some of bf friends about an hour away from him. Then he left me so I moved back to North Carolina in March 2008. Then in May/June I met another guy we dated for a month before he wanted me to move in, so I did. Lasted 6 months before I left him. After that in October of 2008 I met my current hubby on an online dating website. We met face to face in December of 2008 dated for a couple months then got married in Feb. 2009. I moved to Fayetteville, North Carolina where my husband was stationed at Ft. Bragg. He deployed in May of 2009, came home for R&R in July 2009 and I got pregnant. He was luck to get to come home for good in October 2009 because of a reduction in Afghanistan. I had our son March 31st 2010. Then in August we got orders to move to South Korea. Now I am living here for the next 2-3 years. After that we are going back to the states. But I know our life will be full of moves because my husband is in the Army. Don't feel bad, I only have friends I grew up with or a couple real friends who I've known since middle school. Good luck. :)

Our move before this one I felt much the same way. Why invest?? Why spend the time just to move again, and again. We are military, but my husband just retired so we are settled here for the longterm, at least I hope.
We moved back to a place we were before so I have established friendships here. I got right back in the church and have been out with my husband's new work colleagues.
It can be tiring, just don't quit. Go to the PTA and join, be in charge of something. I teach in the Sunday school, that helps. I also homeschool and have the kids in groups so I can talk to moms.
It'll get better, you know it will.
And that last move I didn't want to make, I didn't want to invest any time with anyone. We didn't even join a church. I have met the most amazing woman who has become my best friend, we are both not girly girls. We really met by accident, her son was in my son's cub scout den. She still is in NC and I in VA but she is one of the very few people I will keep in touch with. I can count those people on one hand.

As far as staying in touch with old friends, take it up a notch...don't just send Christmas cards and keep up on email....go on vacation with them. Somewhere where everyone can meet in between: Vegas, Chicago, New Orleans...there is nothing like taking the family blues away than a 4 day weekend where you drink too much and get too little sleep. You deserve that!!!!