My daughter is three years old and I will be home with her for the summer. She has been in daycare since September and it ends today. My question is, how do I encourage more free play? I'm not sure if it is because she is an only child (clingy) or Alyssa doesn't really like her toys (toy kitchen, coloring books, puzzles, mega blocks, bike, etc.) but it is difficult to get her to want to free play.
I recently posted a question about schedules and preschoolers. Most parents suggested to allow a lot of free play in the summer and not be concerned so much about a schedule. In theory that sounds great, however my daughter isn't always easy-going. She is the most content when I take her to the park. I plan on taking her to parks a lot when it isn't too hot. I also have a few moms to call for play dates and I hope to meet up at least once-a-week.
So how do I encourage more free play? I enjoy doing arts and crafts, bubbles and drawing with sidewalk chalk with Alyssa. What else can I do? Thank you!
Thank you to all who responded. Everyone gave me great suggestions! The idea of using open-ended toys is great and maybe if we create this for awhile, Alyssa will be interested in her other toys again. Thank you!
Doing things WITH her isn't free play.
Give her safe space (her room, the back yard, whatever) and cut her loose. Tell her to go play on her own. She'll find something to do. Might not like it at first, but she'll get used to it.
Hi A.-
I would get a HUGE appliance box...and cut a hole in it (like for a puppet theatre). It can be used as that...or a toll booth...or a bank...or...or...or...
I'd make available ALL manner of things to make puppets (Popsicle sticks, old socks, felt etc) and have her create her own shows.
Another popular thing for kiddos this age is dress up. During your 'adventures' this summer, collect items for different dress up boxes...(ex...visit firestation and get fire hats and literature...same with police station...maybe visit good will for scarves...high heels...formal dresses all cheap).
Water play...from a simple sprinkler...to water slide...to water balloons are all a lot of fun as well...
Have a great summer!
michele/cat
I like BVic's answer. I would start with short time periods of free play and extend it over time.
With my 3yr old, I started her off with "can you color a picture and show me?" or "why don't you show me what you can make with your play-doh? Can you make a snake? A ball? Four balls?". I find that it helps to have a "starter" activity and then let her do what she wants from there.
You can always have her do "helper" activities when she's bored (clean up her room, put away silverware, match socks, etc).
First, your little girl is needing a routine. She's had one at school, give her one at home. Keeping her day predictable will help her enjoy her time a bit more.
Preschoolers are busy and have buddies to play with, so my first suggestion would be to try to schedule at least a couple of playtimes or park outings each week, so she can be around other kids. It sounds like you are doing that.
Next, I'd strongly encourage you to give her very open-ended toys to play with, like offering her a couple of boxes and some markers or crayons. The more open-ended a toy is (bins, boxes, cardboard tubes) etc., the more her imagination can lead her play. Here's a list of great open-ended 'toys':
http://www.truceteachers.org/docs/T_Guide_web_10.pdf
There's a lot of great information here; but scroll down to Shoebox Gifts for the information on open-ended play items.
Remember that your routine is going to be your life-saver. Make sure that whenever you are planning to have her play independently, to take at least 10 minutes or so to spend time and connect with her. Also understand that helping her with Free Play also means allowing her to direct some of her playtimes with you. Most kids this age will not go off and play all day on their own, so scheduling the free play times also provides a consistent expectation. In our house, my son gets a Quiet Playtime in the afternoon for about an hour; we do a snack storytime immediately beforehand and then he *knows* it's going to be time for him to play independently.
So, this is the best of both worlds-- routine and a loose schedule which provides structure and allows your daughter to predict the order of the day, and downtime which allows both of you a break and her time to learn to develop some of her own play skills. And I say this as a preschool teacher and nanny-- the days that I went for a more 'unstructured' approach with the kids ended up being far more work for me and harder emotionally for the kids, who felt pretty adrift. They really DO like routines.
Good luck!
Sometimes you have to let them get bored. It's hard to do because many of us as parents have been trained to think that we're responsible for our children's happiness at all times (me included! :)). However, I think it's important for kids to learn how to entertain themselves at times.
I'll tell my son "Mommy has to work now, you have to play by yourself for a while". Of course, he'll groan and complain and demand TV, but I just basically ignore him and go about whatever it is I need to do. Within about 10 minutes, he has forgotten all his complaints and is involved in heavy-duty pretend play.
These days, at 5, he can keep himself entertained from anywhere between 1-2 hours. At 3 I seem to recall that he could go 1/2 hour to 45 minutes at a stretch.
Of course, I book him tons of playdates too...
They usually like company, so no matter what you get her to play with, don't be surprised if she wants you to do it with her.
That's why I went to the park a lot.
I would say 2 things. Have a routine and I mean that in the loosest sense of the word. My son is 3 and our routine is: Wake up, play, have breakfast, watch 1 show (Thomas etc.) while mommy gets dressed, leave the house for an outing - the park, the grocery store, a play date etc., then lunch, and rest etc. so not like a down to the minute thing, But in general he knows what happens next.
The second thing is to set up a few things she can explore by herself. My son is an only as well and he loves to have me watch him/play with him. And I do. But, also have stuff that he is able to do on his own. My 2 best suggestions are Water play (we have a water table - the best $25 you'll ever spend, I promise. ) so some water source and then my son plays with plastic bugs and cars, but little things he can interact in the water. (or the sink is great too)
The other is sand. We live in an apt and have only a small balcony, but have managed to have the water table on one end and just a large garden pot filled with sand on the other. The same toys can swap between the water and sand. He plays for hours.
You can also look on pinterest.com if you're looking for specific crafty kind of stuff. There are millions of ideas on there.
Good luck.
I used a gate in the hallway and they had to stay on the other side of it. If they needed something they were right there and I could actually see all the way into their room.
It wasn't like I was sending them off and not paying any attention. I was just making a boundary that was physical so they would see it and remember to go play. Having lots of toys is often overwhelming. Having about 5 toys then switching them out every few days works wonders too.
