Emotional Wreck

Look up the meaning in a dream book. Dreams rarely have the meaning that you would think. This is a common one. I don't know how many times my husband and I have accused the other of dream cheating.

According to DreamMoods.com:

To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truthful or is not fully committed in the relationship.

In your case, I think you are insecure in yourself and your relationship. If you have never had therapy for your suicide and starvation issues, you should get some now. He saved you once, now it's your turn to save yourself and in turn, save your relationship.

Your dream is most likely just a manifestation of your subconscious insecurities, which may have nothing to do with reality, or with the way your husband actually feels. I'd sincerely doubt it has anything to do with any actual events that you might think you're having a premonition about.

Good for you for being in tune with your dreams... however, I think you're probably missing something small here. I have very lucid, very real dreams that almost always mean something... but sometimes you have to relax, breathe, and think of what you missed in the background. It's not always the black and white picture that you're supposed to see. Look beyond that, and if you have this recurring dream again, look past the cheating part and really look around. I think you're missing something. You should trust your husbands word. Keep looking and you'll find what you're really looking for in these dreams. If they're lucid, meaning, you can control what you're doing, remind yourself that it IS a dream and that something else is going on that your subconcience is trying to tell you. And relax :) Do something fun with your hubby to feel better about it. I know it's hard to shake these dreams off! Best wishes :) I hope you find what you're looking for!

Your dream is evidence of your own extreme insecurities. Nothing more. Our subconcious comes out in our dreams, clearly you have an irrational fear of loss.

Do you receive therapy? Do you take meds for anxiety. You mention you have a history of emotional problems, are they being addressed? Do you have health insurance? Or public assistance of some kind? I STRONGLY suggest you seek out professional help if you don't currently have any.

I see by your profile that you have a 17 month old son, and are very young yourself. !9 or 20? You have a LOT on your plate sista, you need to get yourself some help so you can take the best care of that baby!

I'm sending you positive thoughts, motivation, and strength to take care of your own mental state, so you can take care of your son and your husband.

Besides this dream, has he ever given you a reason to be worried? You can't be this upset over a dream! Unless he has given you solid reason to be concerned, don't base your worry on a dream. That is not fair to him or you.

I haven't read the other posts - sorry if this is a repeat.

The dream is a metaphor. You know that he's not cheating on you with another woman; so how do you feel "cheated?" Is it long days at work? Might it be his love for your son? I know that sounds crazy, but I think we often worry about how our spouses will have enough love for us with all the love they give to the kids.

Also, think about ways that you are "cheating yourself" - what do you wish you could do but feel guilty about? Again, not sexually, but in some other way.

I am sorry that something is really eating at you. I think you have put a lot of pressure on yourself and on your husband. Are you seeing a therapist? Anyway, I recommend that. And also, don't panic about him cheating, because dreams aren't real. That doesn't mean that they aren't tapping into something significant.

Good luck.

If you continue to treat him, in word or deed, as if he is having an affair, you may actually drive him to it. You don't want to do this.

Love him and act like it with him, regardless of what your dreams are. Then start working on yourself. Going to a counselor would help you.

Just to let you know, I had a spate of terrible dreams many years ago. One of my family members was treating my dad very badly. I kept dreaming that she was physically hurting him - the same dream, and believe me, the dream was vivid, specific and disturbing, and I won't give the details here. I would wake up shaking and crying my heart out. I handled it by realizing that my mind was trying to work something out, and stopped trying to beat myself up over it while I waited for it to stop. This is what you should do.

Good luck,
Dawn

hon, you have got to get ahold of yourself.
this is a DREAM. dreams have psychological significance at times, they use deep personal symbology to send occasional messages, they can be interesting from a headshrinking standpoint, and only very rarely are they prophetic.
this is pure anxiety seeping out into your sleep, and that's all it is.
the only scary thing in your scenario is the possibility that YOU will cause it to come true by insisting on a reality that doesn't currently exist. ever read anna karenina? this exact scenario. you don't really know at the end if she saw the future, or created it.
for starters, quit doubting your husband and checking up on him over a stupid dream. next, get a mentally fresh headset going when you go to bed each night. meditate or pray first, make sure you haven't been eating or drinking alcohol for several hours before bedtime (both can contribute to nightmares), state aloud (or whisper) your intent to have restful recuperative sleep, maybe read something you find quieting and inspirational before you turn out the light (no tv!!)
have something by your bedside table that you can grab if you wake up clutching your chest, something that will ground and steady you. it can be anything that you find pleasing and comforting, a rock, a glass ball, a locket your husband gave you when you were courting, a stuffed animal or woobie of some sort. a talisman. over time (assuming this continues, which it won't) this talisman's very presence will help soothe you.
i also suggest counseling of some sort. the very fact that you are so distraught and attaching so much importance to a dream means that you are not responding logically to everyday events. everyone needs a little help sometimes. get some, and enjoy your life and your husband.
khairete
S.

First you dreamt it (probably a subconscious worry so it came out in a dream) then you thought about the dream and so it's even more in your mind -- so you dreamt it again. And if you keep thinking about it you'll probably keep dreaming about it. Don't base your fears or worries on dreams. They're just the wanderings of your mind -- nothing else.

honey get a grip on yourself and stop watching those trash tv shows. and stop calling your husband at work all the time. the only thing you are really doing is looking for an excuse to keep taps on the guy. get a dog,
K. h.

Dreams are dreams, not reality. You are putting TONS of pressure on your husband..... that is so sad and so unfair to him, he sounds like a great guy. Do not accuse him of cheating and do not call him at work.... that must be so stressful for him.
Read the book "The proper care and feeding of a husband". Take the focus off of yourself and concentrate on being a great wife. You need to redirect yourself just like we redirect our kids when they are doing something harmful or destructive.
You can do this. Getting involved in some good books before you go to sleep might take away those crazy nightmares too ;)
Say a little prayer right before you drop off to sleep.

I have had a couple dreams like that and yes, they do leave you questioning and worried and sick! It's horrible! My husband has never cheated or given me cause for concern, but even so, those dreams seem so real- it is really hard to ignore them.
The good thing is that the feelings from the dreams do fade and you will feel a lot better by this time next week!- but it does take a while to fade(at least for me).
After I had one of these dreams- I told my husband a little bit about it. He laughed it off and then started teasing me- wrong thing to do! I burst into tears and cried for an hour! He felt so bad! I think when you aren't the one having the dream, you don't realize how emotional it is for the dreamer. My husband was trying to reassure me by laughing it off and trying to lift my spirits by teasing(nicely) but the pain from the dream was so real that it just hurt.
I still think about the dream sometimes(the last one was about a month ago) and it makes me sad- but I know my husband. He is by my side and will stick with me through anything! You just have to remember that. And tell him that right now, you just need extra hugs and more attention. I think that was part of the reason for my dreams. My husband has been really busy at work and we haven't had a date in months! There just hasn't been any time or money for us to do anything together. Make some time to just be together- even if it is just going for a walk(which has really helped us). I think part of it is that you feel a disconnect with your husband and you both need to reconnect.
Good luck!
~C.

It sounds that you are insecure if you feel you have to call his work all of the time. If you've been wondering if he's cheating and it's on your mind a lot, it can cause you to dream about it. You mentioned that he saved you from suicide and starvation. That's great that you have changed but I would recommend getting yourself some counseling. Counseling can help you get over those insecurities and deal with your other issues.

I saw a previous post of yours saying that you guys fight a lot, It would be good if you could do counseling together to work on your marriage. Good luck!

I can tell you how it feels to be on the other side... My husband has these dreams constantly. So frequently that he dreads going to sleep at night. He has become so obsessed with them that he does question me and my loyalty. It hurts my feelings and makes me resent him for not trusting me and it feels so unfair to me. I'm being accused of doing something that I would never do. Don't let these dreams put a strain on your marriage. It sound like he really loves you if he has saved you from harming yourself.

You are putting way too much stock in a dream. The dream is probably just your worst fear manifesting itself. I wouldn't worry or think that he is cheating in the least. I had many dreams just like this after I gave birth to our daughter. It felt so real, but the thing is - it wasn't.

It's a dream and dreams are not reality. If you are having trouble distinguishing between the two, perhaps you should talk to someone and that will help.

I liked what some said about you feeling "cheated." This may be something you haven't put into words, and it's just coming out in a dream. That's not uncommon. And if you think about the dream (worry about it, etc), then it's actually very natural to dream the same thing multiple times. I would advise going to a counselor, if you don't have money for that: call a church. There is often a pastor on duty who can talk with you or refer you to a better source. (Sometimes it's a phone line, sometimes it's another pastor, sometimes it's a professional counselor.)

Dear, you need to talk to someone -- like a counselor or someone you look up to. Since it doesn't sound like you are getting a vibe from your husband that he is cheating, this is your psychological fear torturing you. I hope that you will find the right person to talk to, so you can past this chapter in your life and be free to just enjoy your family.

From dreammoods.com

To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truthful or is not fully committed in the relationship.

Most dreams are not to be taken at face value. You have to do some searching to find out what they mean. I've had similar dreams and woken up PO'd at my husband because those dreams felt so real. The good news is that your subconscious is trying to tell you something and it's not that your husband is cheating. Learn more about dreams and use the website I listed at the top. You'll really start to understand the lesson you're supposed to learn. As a side note - be very careful in how you handle your husband with regard to this. You don't want it to become a self fulfilling prophecy. (You bug or worry out loud to him so much that he goes and does it because he's already being accused anyway).

Sweetheart, it is only natural that you would feel so indebted and in love with someone you think is a Prince who rescued you. But it wasn't one sided-he got you, the beautiful Princess who adores him and the precious little Prince! You dream this dream because you can't believe how your real world has changed. You need to start believing that you deserve to be happy and cherished, and cared for. When you start feeling worthy and believing it and embracing it-the internal dialogue you have with yourself will change, as well. You will start saying to yourself-my husband is the lucky man alive! And he is to have you! You brought something to the table to offer-and don't think otherwise-we are all made up of our experiences-your previous life situation has given you a strength that no one who had everything handed to them will ever have. You are fiercely devoted to your son and your hsuband and have the guts and dtermination of a mother bear! You're awesome-except it!

I have had dreams like that a lot!! I tell my husband when I wake up that Im mad at him!! lol. And I tell him the horrible things he did and he just laughs. It would be silly to incorporate that into real life. Dont ruin your marriage over a silly dream. I think, every woman, in the back of their mind always worry about this, and thats why you occasionally dream about it. I trust my husband and refuse you live my life in fear. Life is too short for that. Just relax!

I understand how you feel because I have the same dreams. I'm curious to see what people have posted in response. It is a torture and it does set your mood for the day. I have gotten so upset to the point I pick fights. I guess it's time to look at ourselves and see what's really hidden underneath. HUGS!!!!

Holy Moly! Get a grip! He's at work.
I agree with the pp who suggested you may feel "cheated" in some other way....time, money, intimacy, etc connected to the long hours he works.
Google "lucid dreaming" to facilitate getting more specific meanings from your dreams.

I agree with others that it probably has to do with a form of insecurity in your relationship. Even if it is slight, when mixed with other life changes it can heighten the insecurity. I had the same thing happen to me starting around 17 years ago. I had just had my 3rd child and we moved from TX to MI. I was hating it up north, but things were going very well for him in his new job. That was the first thing (my mind was beginning to feel we were heading in 2 different directions because of it). The other thing is being so far away in a place where I wasn't happy with 3 small children. I needed extra security at that point. So when I even had slight thoughts about us having different goals, those slight thoughts seemed enlarged by my need to have additional reassurance that I was not getting from him. My husband is also a workaholic. I felt that if it came down to his work or his family, work would win. It was a combination of those things, I believe, that manifested in my dreams of having him constantly leaving me for someone else.

Perhaps if you can pinpoint some area where you feel some level of disconnect (even if it is just in your mind), he can help you by being more aware. For instance (made up scenario here), if he isn't as connected to your child as you were imagining he would be, subconsciously you could be feeling like family isn't as important to him as you had hoped. With a child in the picture, the need to know he is committed is even stronger. It seems strange, but something as little as a small change in our perception of how it "should" be can plant seeds of insecurity.

Pls see a doctor to evaluate hormones, vitamins and mineral levels. Stick with it till you reballance all of the above. Motherhood depletes us and sometimes we need help to get back on track. Also, see if there is anything you want to discuss or comfront your husband about.

the reason why you have the same dream twice is because you have been thinking about it and you dream about what you think about. i guarantee you'll dream about an ice cream truck, or any other inane thing, if you think about it 2000 times per day.

maybe you need to relax a little bit. do something for yourself or with your spouse as a couple.