Eloping - McMinnville,OR

IMO, people spend WAY too much time planning elaborate ceremonies, and they put all their energy into the wedding, and then end up divorced within a short time. Honestly, if people would put as much thought and planning and energy into their MARRIAGE instead of their wedding, none of it would even matter. I had a beautiful ceremony with my 1st husband, and we got divorced a few years later. With hubby #2, we eloped one day, out of the blue, and we are still together, and we love each other very much! I'm not saying that if you have a wedding then you're doomed, but the wedding is the easy part. It's the marriage that takes the work.

My brother eloped and we (Mom/Dad 2 sisters and a brother) were all sad we weren't there for the occassion. My parents had even told him that if it was on a whim we would have gotten in the car to have been there...We were actually hoping they would marry so no one was against that part...but I guess to truly elope you dont invite anyone huh? lol

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's the couples special day, not anyone else's. I got married in Vegas but we had close family and friends there. It was very special and very intimate. I wouldn't change it.

We eloped and got married in Vegas--planned it out in advance though. None of the parents would fly ;-) so it was just us, my BF and a friend of my hubby's and his wife. Wouldn't change a thing. Weddings are the king of emotional response purchases and we weren't buying what society was selling! LOL
We kind of appeased the parents by having a small reception when we got back....that way they were there for the dancing, the cake, etc.

A lot of people elope.
I think sometimes, weddings are so outrageous with all the thousands of dollars spent on them. It's a special day and I understand why people go all out, but sometimes just what they pay for the flowers is a down payment on a house!
My sister and brother in law eloped. My mom and I were so happy for them but kind of bummed that we couldn't be there because we love them both so much. But, they're married and that's how they wanted to do it and we respect their wishes. He wouldn't have minded us being there, in fact, we were told of the day and their plans. He just didn't want his mom and that side of the family turning it into something they didn't want.
So....it's all a matter of choice. It should be up to the people getting married.
Just my opinion.

I got married in Vegas. It wasnt technically an elopement, as my parents were there, but they always said they'd pay if we wanted to get married in Vegas and they did. :-) We didnt want to have a big wedding, expense aside, we also didnt want to deal with the drama of his step mom. Since there's no easy way to invite his dad but not his stepmom, we just didnt invite anyone. Some of our friends went, but only people who wanted to pay their own way and dress up in Star Trek uniforms, as we got married at Star Trek the Experience. It was cheap and awesome and drama free.

We eloped in vegas... No family or friends were there. It was perfect and I wouldn't change it for the world. Our family was supportive. My mom was not surprised.... She understands me and probably would have been shocked if I had a more formal wedding and wore a wedding dress ( we did a drive thru wedding in a convertible... Barefoot and casual :-).

I eloped. Wedding cost $111.00. My mom was a bit shocked and upset but she got over it fast and three years later she has a grand daughter and doesn't even recall that I didn't have a wedding. I think weddings are way over the top these days and not worth the money in the slightest. I saved the money I would have spent and put a down payment on a house. To be fair I'm one of those women who doesn't really enjoy going to weddings either, so my thought is, if I find them an irritating event, why would I want to pay to have one just because it's traditional?

Mom comes to visit and spends about a week out of every month in my spare room, which I wouldn't have been able to afford if I had a traditional wedding.

In addition to the money aspect, there was no way in hell I wanted to spend a day with both sides of our families in one space. I know they say, "You don't just marry the man, you marry his family." But I married the man and I'd like to keep our families separate because they are both a bit socially retarded and I don't have the patience for drama and I sure wasn't going to pay for the privilege to set them up to mingle and possibly explode like a cocktail of bathroom chemicals.

Sure, some days I sigh and wish I had a photo album of me in a pretty white dress and all that sort of thing, but my life isn't like that. I know I'd look at those pictures and they wouldn't stand up to my ideal. I'd see the pictures and probably spend more time reminiscing about family drama than anything else.

My grandmother had a hard life. She had three weddings. Her first husband, the father of my oldest aunt, died when his car drove off a windy mountain road in the dark and was crushed. A few years later she remarried and that man was the father of my mother and second oldest aunt. Then he died fighting in a war. Then she married a third man who she lived with for the rest of his natural life. She's now alone again and nearly ninty years old. She said, "I'm never getting married again!"

Each time she wed, she went to Vegas and got married. Then fear would creep into her heart that because she didn't get married in a church God wouldn't recognize her marriage so she got remarried in a church just for God. Every time. Technically she's had six weddings. Three elopements and three church weddings.

it saves a boat load of money. My husband and I didn't elope although we were just tempted to go to the courthouse. We got a justice of the peace and went to our favorite place with about 15 family members my dad was able to give me away and the entire thing was less than 200.00. It was in the middle of the winter so we just had a huge party that summer in celebration of our wedding (gifts were not expected we just wanted to celebrate with our friends and family without having to pay 20.00 a head. Cheap? maybe but it was fun and I have no regrets)

People have been eloping since marriage was started! It depends on the family as to the reaction you'll receive. Ultimately it's YOUR and your fiance's decision, but if either of you have one of those mothers that's going to feel "cheated" out of a wedding, then just be prepared! It is socially acceptable.

We eloped...kind of. My husband had been married before and I had no interest at age 36 in a big expensive wedding. It wasn't really eloping, as we told people we were going to get married before we did.

We planned a vacation in Santa Fe, found an awesome minister, a cheap photographer, and "rented" a couple of witnesses. It was just my husband and I. After we had our ceremony, which was very personal and beautiful, we walked down the street and had lunch. We treated ourselves to a really nice dinner afterwards.

It was awesome! We got zero blowback from friends or family.

I think what is more important, what do you want? When my brother and now sister-law got in engaged, my parents told thier soon to be daughter in-law not to worry about pleasing everyone (because she is a real people pleaser.) This is your day and only worry about your self. You can't please everyone. After helping what I could with my sister's and brothers wedding, I am serious condersidering eloping if I ever find that right somebody. :)

In today's times, with bridezillas and blatant wastefulness. I say eloping is great. Why not make the wedding about just 2 people that are in love and want to be married, instead of shelling out an exorbitant amount of cash to stress yourself out , deal with family drama, and throw a party for a bunch of near strangers? I'd say elope all the way

A number of years ago, a couple that my husband and I know, planned a trip to Lake Tahoe with a couple of the best friends to elope. It was simple, romantic and very much in keeping with who they are as a couple.

I think Eloping is fine as long as you do it for the right reason. If your parents or family members feel like you are making a mistake by getting married, you may just want to listen to them. You have to know without a doubt by marrying this man, he's the one, go for it. If you do have doubt, then just think about it seriously, why are you eloping vs. showing your love ones how much this man means to you and how much you mean to him... as long as it's done for the right reason, no problem at all...

I think it is very selfish and FANTASTIC! My husband and I got married in a courthouse with just my son, mom, sister, his sister and his mom. A few months later we had a HUGE blowout "church wedding" and reception. I was soooo glad that we had done the initial marriage with just the few of us. The church wedding was so stressful and crazy/hectic, and that was without the pressure of OMG I am committing to this person for the rest of my life. For me it was the best of both worlds - intimate wedding meant for just the two of us, and big bash with all of the normal "rituals" for everybody else.

i can only give my persoanl impression of it,,,,thats its, not very well thought out, not being considered as real as other marriages and often ending in divorce

but as with everything in life there are exceptions, and might i add, i always veiwed eloping as spur of the moment, not planned even though they were quick weddings

I wish I would have eloped, mostly because that marriage ended in divorce. LOL. We wanted to elope but both of our families were against it. Honestly, my boyfriend and I have talked about a wedding, and what we want. We are planning on half eloping. We are giving people fair warning of when we are getting married in Vegas, and if they can make it there then that would be wonderful, if not we understand.
I have had a lot of friends/family elope and I view it as their choice. Ususally we all get together after some time and celebrate their marriage with a family dinner.

We got married secretly on New Years Eve in 1988. We told no one, went on to parties that night, telling no one.

The next day family called to say Happy New Year, what did you do. We said, Happy New year to you, we got married.

My mom was upset because "SHE" did not have the wedding of her dreams "MINE". Everyone else was very happy for us. I had no interest in the bru ha ha of a wedding. My mom was just selfish about it....it was all about her..it would not have been my day.

Now my daughter.....Oh boy, she's already said she would not elope and plans a big one. We have a wedding fund set up for her and have offered her cash for a house, LOL. She may change her mind by the time she gets married and sees the $$$ but we are saving now because she has big dreams.

I cant stand my boyfriend;s family. his mom is ok and he has a sister on his dad's side that is ok, but the rest of them.. they can kick rocks. i will elope just to keep his family out of our business. and it makes me sad because my family loves him! but whatever. my cousin eloped ( went to ohio cause it;s quick and easy) because she was pregnant again and told her husband she would not keep getting pregnant and having babies out of wedlock ( hey were going to get married anyway). we weren't mad at all. we understood. plus at the time they really couldn't afford a nice wedding like they wanted. so they will have one when they both finished school. so i fell it;s ok. you don't have to marry the people who don't like it!

One of my childhood friends eloped, and her mom went ballistic!! but (in my opinion) who cares!! as long as they (The eloping couple) are happy, and they love each other, I think eloping can be really romantic, if done for the right reasons.
Of course it would be a totally different matter to have your teenage daughter elope, for instance, but like I said if a couple really wants it, I think its ok. Whether that is socially acceptable I really don't know..

My BIL and his fiance actually eloped AND had a regular wedding - because the wedding had been hijacked by her mother. The four of us were going on vacation to Hawaii, and they wanted not to be stressed out when they got married so they had a lovely beachfront ceremony with us as witnesses. It was truely beautiful. Sunset, whales spouting in the distance, just beautiful. They were then able to have a relaxed and happy time at their "mom's" wedding version.

My feeling about someone who eloped would be - good for them, I'm guessing their putting the money they saved toward a deposit on a house (LOL)!

ive recently gotten married 3 mos tomorrow will be our 4th month anniversary, and we've been together for 2 years and 6 mos. we got married in one of those notary public offices and we waanted to keep on the low key, but my 2 older sisters got the news out of my hubby, lol, well they attended and their kids, it was an ok wedding though me and my hubby actually wore missmatched clothing haha. but we were happy and in love. my father didnt attend reason, i want him to actually give me away when i do get married by church, im just saving the big I DO!!!! for later.

IF YOU WANT TO DO IT I SAY GO FOR IT, SOMETIMES YOU DONT A BIG WEDDING TO LET EACHOTHER KNOW HOW MUCH LOVE YOU GOT FOR ONE ANOTHER!!!!
good luck!!!!!!!!!!

Moms,Dads, siblings like to be included in this special event. If its a matter of money it can be done very inexpensively and beautifully. So...I guess you can say I'm against it.

My then boyfriend now husband thought about eloping because we didn't want to deal with the hassle and stress of planning a wedding. We also didn't have a whole lot of money at our disposable. However we didn't want to not invite our immediate family so we had a total of 8 people in our wedding. Just our parents and siblings. It worked out well and everyone enjoy the intimacy of the whole affair and it was very stress free and enjoyable for me and my husband. We did feel bad we didn't invite any of our friends but we wouldn't have it any other way. By the way we had our wedding in Hawaii and we live in California. We figured that if we had a wedding out of state then it is a better reason (excuse) to not invite friends and extended family.

My husband and I eloped. We wanted the day to be only about the 2 of us. We went to the courthouse and got married. Neither of us wanted the big wedding or anything. All we knew was that we loved each other and that was all that matered to us. Of course we knew that family would be upset but we were willing to face that fact. (my husbands family was very happy about it, mine was happy we were together but upset that they were not there.) It was a wonderful day and I will never forget it, I think that when you are looking into that special persons eyes as you are getting married nothing else in the world matters in that moment except the 2 of you and all of the love that you share for each other. We really didn't want anyone else there since it was our moment and the begining of our life together. We love our families very much and each family loved the other person so it was not an issue with someone not approving of our marriage. Yes we were being rather selfish but we had the right since it was about us anyway.

My niece eloped. My sister felt bad for about 10 seconds, then went, "She got exactly what she wanted, at no cost or stress for me! I'm telling all my kids to elope!" :) A wedding is about creating a new family; there are very few "wrong" ways to do it. No matter what, somewonme will always tell you that you should have done it another way, but the only people you truly need to worry about are you and your fiance. That's not being selfish. The occasion is about YOU TWO.

Sometimes it is just nicer to have a small intimate wedding without all of the expense and other people putting in their two cents on how things should go.

We did it. Upset my family a bit but wanted to be just us. No regrets. I still wore my wedding dress and he a tux :)

As long as you have some sort of reception later so people can wish you congratulations, I don't think anyone would have a problem with it. If your mom and sisters go superpsycho on you ("I wanted to be a bridesmaid!"), just remind them that it is your wedding, and you wanted something stressfree. The real pain is being excluded. Since your families will have to welcome your spouse sooner or later, give them a chance to celebrate your togetherness, even if the celebration comes after the event.

We did it. He came home and we decided why not go get married today. So we drove up to the court house get our papers and meet with the clerk of court that was there. He called his dad because we need witnesses so he and his girlfriend came up to watch and sign our papers. My children went with us because there was no time to find a sitter, lol. Cop brought some one in for arrest so we had to wait on them to right up the papers on him and was there so long we got locked into the court house,lol. Some family though we did it to fast and maybe should have waited but it worked out great. So great that the next weekend his brother took off and got married to his girlfriend too in the same month. His brother called their mom and took her with them for their wittiness, lol. So what fun everyone finds out that both boys got married in the same month and neither had a wedding for family to come to. I told my husband that one year we will have a party and let the family come that wants too. So I go with the if it feels right do it. It is your day and if you two would like it small and just you why not. Worked great here.

My father offer my now husband a rather large check of money, if he could talk me into eloping. He was serious.

I would have done it in a heartbeat too, except it would have crushed my mother to pieces who was planning the wedding of the century.

I see nothing wrong with it if it wouldn't just really upset a family member who you are very very close to...my mom was my best friend and I could never have done that to her.

You can elope and then still have a reception.

When I was married to my ex-husband, we eloped. It was a fun day, but my parents were pretty sad not to be included. Nonetheless, I didn't want all the plans and fussing about to distract me from the day itself. I'm not sure I regret it. Second time around, when my husband and I married last year (we'd been together seven years at the time) we invited a close group of friends, my family (his is back east and weren't making the trip), and I wore my son (almost 2 at the time) through the ceremony, which was held at our favorite pub. All this to say, even if you want to get married with guests, you can choose to keep it low-key. And my parents were elated to be there, too.

I did it, and I am divorced now. I think it's a sign if you feel the need to elope due to families not approving of the marriage. That was my case, but of course, every situation is different. I do know that it hurt a lot of people though. My sister is still holding a grudge about that because she didn't get to be in my wedding, and this was almost 4 years ago. Both parents were devastated by it, and grandparents too. I would not go back and do it again if I had the choice. I had no idea how much of an impact it was going to have on the people that I care about the most. I was "in love" and no one could have convinced me otherwise. Hind sight is 20/20 though.

I think it's soooo romantic!! :)

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I never wanted a big wedding. I though eloping would be perfect for me, of course I did want my parents and his parents to be in attendance. My (now) husband talked me out of it, he was worried I would regret it one day. We had a small wedding, only immediate family was in attendance, and no wedding party, just my dad walking me down the isle. We had it outside, at an overlook (the sight was free), and I wore my mothers wedding dress. The reception was desert and cocktails at the lake. The whole affair cost less than $1,000. I am so glad my husband talked me into this, the memories and pictures are priceless.

My husband and I eloped. At the time, it seemed so great and now, I'm glad we did it, but it would have really been nice to do it in front of family and friends. I never knew that my parents really wanted to see me walk down an aisle. I'm helping friends now with planning weddings and I'm like dang...lol! We'll have renewing of vows ceremony though, and I'm going all out for it too!

when I get married to my fiance (we are common law anyway) we are eloping for reasons in the family. we can't not invite his family and invite mine and we both have been married before and we decided to elope so we don't have to omit people we don't want there due to family friction. his sisters specifically. there is major friction between him and them so we have agreed to elope to save grace. my family understands the reasoning behind eloping and not inviting family and they agree wtih the idea. they don't blame us. my mom is fine with it due to the reasoning. so yes I am for it to keep family friction down. :)

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! well me and my fiance now my hubby, we also went to a notary public office, i call my friend and her husband so they can be the witnesses i actually dont talk to much to my family personal problems!!! so anywho, i am the happiest married woman in the world and i wouldnt change it for the world!!!

My husband and I eloped to Las Vegas on Valentine's Day! It was so much fun. We actually did tell our families, and a number of people showed up. We eloped because I was getting so stressed out planning a big, expensive wedding, and we realized that the whole point of getting married is, well, getting married! If we ended up married at the end of the day, THAT was the most important thing! $250 centerpieces and filet mignon for your 200 closest friends do not make you any more married, and do not make your marriage any less special or committed than if you elope. =)

My hubby and I eloped and it was the best choice for us. We definitely couldn't afford a wedding, no matter what size, small or large. We could afford to go to Vegas and have a good time, get married, then have our e neymoon in Aruba. We invited people and made sure to let them know that there was absolutely NO PRESSURE to attend but wanted to make sure we let people know that although we were not doing something "traditional" that they were still more than welcome to join us for our wedding. We only ended up having my MIL and FIL, one of my hubbys sisters and her husband and one of my sisters and her husband attend but that was A-OK w/ us because ultimately, we'd done what we wanted to do. :) I pretty sure my mom and dad felt a little slighted, but hey, they were not offering to fork over the $ to pay for a traditional wedding so we did the best we could w/ what we had at the time. I do not regret it, I think one day we'll eventually renew our vows and make a big "to do" out of that. :)

My parents eloped and I always thought it was very romantic. I, stupidly, spent $10,000 on a huge family wedding. Looking back, my husband and I should have saved that money (and my sanity!) and used it toward our house or our daughter's private schooling. It's definitely and individual choice but a huge wedding doesn't make you any more married than a couple that elopes; plus, IMO, the wedding is for the couple, not their families. GL!!

By the day of my wedding, I'd WISHED I'd eloped.

The only things about my wedding I actually enjoyed was the dress, the rehearsal (joking with my dad down the aisle, and running with my husband back up the aisle), and the photographs from after with my son in his tux.

If I EVER got married again, I would elope. Seriously. A year of my life in planning and booking needs to be something someone is PAYING me to do, not something I'm shelling out for. I'd still have the dress. I'd still have the photographer. I'd still have my son there, and anyone who felt like joining us. But the ceremony/party, nope, nada, zip, zilch, huh-uh.

<laughing> But I got talked into the wedding in the first place. All I actually *wanted* was to elope + dress + photographer.

How old are you? Are your parents conservative? Are they BIG on tradition??

Eloping, in my opinion is AWESOME. It's socially acceptable and you can still have a reception after the fact and BASK in the glory that is weddng without all the expense.

I am especially fond of this as a second marriage/combined family thing.

I will hoever hopt that if you're young and it's your first time...and your parents WANT to help you pay for the shin dig, that you would at least entertain the idea.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Of course it is acceptable. It can be very romantic to just have the 2 people want it to be private. I have a very good friend that eloped and she said it is a special private memory for her and her husband. They then just invited a group of friends to dinner and announced they had gotten married.. They said it was fun party and celebration..

The reason I and my husband wanted a Wedding was because we wanted our loved ones to be there to celebrate it with us.

My husband and I eloped and got married in Jamaica at Sandals Whitehouse on the beach at sunset... just he and I. It was the most romantic experience of my life. We informed our family about it, but told them that we wanted to have a wedding by ourselves. There was some initial upset from my now mother-in-law, because she wanted to be at the wedding, but she finally came around. We compromised and had a family reception the month after we got back from Jamaica. It was lovely. As far as I'm concerned, the only people you need to please in regard to YOUR wedding is you and your future husband. This is especially true if you are paying for the wedding and honeymoon yourselves, like my husband and I did. Don't live your life trying to make other people happy because it won't happen and it's not worth it. Best of luck to you!

I eloped and to this day count it as one of the smartest things I have ever done. That being said, I warned my mother and she had the opportunity to help me go pick out a nice little dress for the ceremony and to have one last lunch before I got married. I have a large family which means inviting anyone means that you are already at 100 people by the time cousins and close friends are counted up. It was a great decision and a great story, and a surefire way to make your new partnership about a marriage and not a wedding. It was the right thing for us.

I think if you are close to your mom ect they might be upset, if that is the case maybe you can do it super small w/ just them. personally I think it would have been just as nice: all that you really need is you and your loved ones, not a big show. I did the big show and it was super fun, most fun i ever had really but I did it for ME i did it how i wanted and that was that. I dont regret it but eloping would have been nice too bc I could have used the wedding $ for something else, but like I said I dont regret the big wedding. congrats! and good luck: just do it for YOU no one else. it is YOUR DAY.