Eight Year Old Needing to Repeat 2Nd Grade

If the school offers summer school maybe that is a better option instead of repeating the whole year. If his concentration is better now he might just be ok to go to third grade.

I also have a 8 year old with adhd that is on medication. He will be going to summer school this year. Maybe if you suggested summer school they would agree, considering he just started his meds and they've seen improvement. Hope all goes well, I know I was extremely worried they were going to hold him back, it was almost a relief when they suggested summer school.

I would think it depends on how far behind he is. You don't want to push him to third grade if he is way behind in his classes and then he has to struggle to keep up. You are right about going to school and talk with all appropriate staff.

Hi J.! When you talk to those "experts" next week I would try to learn two things:

1. Even if his ability to concentrate and learn has improved, how much catching up does he have to do? If he starts 2nd grade behind the other kids, 2nd grade is likely to be very difficult for him, and he could become pretty demoralized, hate school, feel like a failure, etc, etc.

2. How is he socially? Did his ADD behavior alienate him from his classmates? He might be better off starting over with new classmates, and better off when the new classmates are just getting started themselves. OR... Did his difficulty learning extend to learning behavior that is appropriate for a 2nd grader? Did he get along well with his classmates?

I would want my kid to go into 2nd grade prepared to succeed socially as well as academically. That doesn't mean prepare him to be king of the hill, but definitely to "fit in." My cousin repeated 1st grade (not socially ready for 2nd grade). He's 67 now (so am I!) and has led a very happy, successful life. Whether or not repeating 1st grade helped I don't know, but it certainly didn't hurt!

GOOD LUCK! Let us know what you decide! L.

Any time a child needs to repeat a grade, the earlier it's done the better. Kids can be vicious when they find out someone has been help back, but moving on when you are not ready is worse in the long run. Third grade is when reading for content becomes more important. Second grade is a better time for remedial instruction. Consider homeschooling if the educational setting is not optimum for your child's special needs.

SAHM of seven, some with special needs; former public school teacher, we've been homeschooling for 15 years. I'm happy to discuss homeschooling with anyone intersted!

J.,
See if your son can go to summer school or tutoring first before holding him back. If these two things are not an option, have the school provide you with some comprehension tests. Second grade is critical material to help them advance to third grade, so skipping it is really not in the best interest of your son. If they will allow summer school, possibly they can re-test him before the fall and see where he might be placed.

If you were to enroll your child in some summer programs (with structure) would they again assist with reconsidering. You want what is best for him but also don't want to see him struggle. Allow them to share with you what they see in his future and if you agree with it.
Good Luck!

I wonder how well he will be able to succeed in 3rd grade if he doesn't know what he was to have learned in the 2nd grade? Regardless of the reasoning, if he's unable to handle the 3rd grade work, his self esteem will really suffer. I would go in there and concentrate on finding out what you can do to help him be successful this second time around. You never know, it might be for the best. I used to know someone who worked really hard in HS because he/she failed an earlier grade, and thus knew that failing will cause you to be held back.

Good luck!

Hi, my son is almost 7 and in the 1st grade. Not that long ago, he was put on Adderall XR for ADD and seems to be doing alot better in school.
Anyways, if I were you and I was in your situation, I might ask if...since they say he's doing 100% better...they could 'try' out the 3rd grade. With meds and maybe help from the teacher and/or counselor, he may be able to pull through. It may take some time obviously if your son is behind in some subjects (ie. reading, math), but if not and he's doing so much better...then why not, instead of making him repeat a grade when that may not be necessary.
Or another suggestion popped into my head. What if they were to hold him back for the first trimester (or shorter) and see how he does. Then, see if he's ready to go to the 3rd grade after the first trimester, then they could PROMOTE him. instead of demoting him. That may also trigger an ego boost and that's good!
Anyways, GOOD LUCK!

Get your son an IEP. That way he has the education that is right for him.

You say you were told he needs to repeat 2nd grade, but not how he did this past year. I was told my daughter needed to repeat kindergarten, but did not agree. She did fine in school, they just wanted her to do better than she did. We didn't agree and let her go on and she's done just fine in school ever since then. Granted, she was not a native English speaker until just before kindergarten, so that may have hampered her performance and as her language skills grew so did her performance in school. (She was used to the way Russians do things, which is very different from us. They don't coddle children at all there, and they aren't very politically correct. They say it like it is.)

She's no straight A student, but she does get As and Bs consistently with a few Cs in the hard sciences. Not unexpected or horrible at all.

The impact to him now will not be as harsh as it will be later in school when he feels he has to explain why he's a year older than the other children in high school. We purposefully held our oldest daughter back because she didn't speak enough English to be in the right grade even though she could do the work expected in Russian. She struggled with being a year older because of it the whole time she was in school.

I don't agree with homeschooling, he needs the independence and ability to explore that comes with being away from home as much as he does the education.

Do what you think is best for him both now and with an eye toward how it will impact him as he grows up.

From a mom and a teacher...
Remember, you know your child best! Don't let anyone else keep you from following your mother's intuition - no matter what their qualifications. Do YOU think it is in your child's best interest to hold him back in 2nd grade? Also, legally you have the final say - not the school.

J. -

Gosh - we as moms know our children best! I believe that with my heart and soul! And, ultimately, we have the final say as to whether our children are retained or move forward.

That said, I also know the teaching side. Having taught for nine years (fifth grade) - I saw students enter my classroom struggling. Small things. Big things. And, more often than not, they were due to having missed some key things along the way. Some came to me struggling with reading. Not a good thing to read aloud in grade five with a second grade reading ability. Kids can be brutal! Or not fully prepared to even organize homework into their backpack without assistance. Each year, I'd fill out retention forms for 2 - 3 children (as many as the entire school combined) - for struggling children - many times children expressing to me that school was too hard for them. And these are children coming to the fifth grade without the skills to make it. Sadly - tho' I was a competant, loving teacher - I was the teacher with a great palette of children - who may have been better served in earlier grades - either with retention - or with serious tutoring to boost them to the level their classroom was at -

Truly, it broke my heart to see students unable to write in cursive, unable to read with peers - and to know it. To have self-esteem issues.

For my child - he was fully prepared for kindergarten at age 5 - but emotionally - no way. He struggled in any social situation. We kept him home with me for an additional year. He is currently on his last few days of first grade - and what a wonderful kid he's becoming! He is the oldest child in his class, by a long shot! However, more and more children are being 'held' until they are ready. With the nationwide push for all day kindergarten, I'm guessing there may be more of that - not a lot - but some. Anyway - we don't regret, for a moment, his being a year ahead, chronologically! He has wonderful friends, has become quite a leader - and is often counted on by his teacher for being a trusted helper. His self-esteem and emotional well-being have flourished! And I can only see the positives of this for his future! Hopefully this 'boost' will give him the edge he needs when preparing speeches in front of peers - or with sports - or ???

Anyway, J., you are his parent, and know him best. After gathering information, meeting with his teacher (be fully prepared with lots of questions) - and other school staff - allow yourself some time to make an educated decision. If it would destroy him to hold him back (emotionally) - address that with the school - but if it would boost him - what a wonderful gift!

Good luck with your decision!

As a previous elementary teacher (grades 2, 3 & 5) and now an individual tutor, I think you need to look at a lot of options for your son. I read most of the responses you got and they all great ideas. I have worked with a lot of ADD/ADHD kids and know that if a medication is working it can make ALL the difference. I have also worked with a lot of students behind grade level in the classroom and at a tutoring company and have seen AMAZING results in a short time frame. If you are able to find tutoring for him and are able to get him at least 2 hours per week per subject (math/reading if both are needed) in a structured curriculum, he could probably make up the difference he is missing over the summer and only need a little support over the next school year.

Shoot me an email and I will give you my telephone number so that we can talk more specifics, if you'd like. ____@____.com

J.

I would have to say this is your decision and not the schools. Your child has ADHD which is treatable. Think of the stigmatism attached to being held back. What is more problematic for your child? Watching all of his friends go onto 3rd grade or ADHD? Having your child held back can open up a new can of worms. Your child can catch up with summer school and help from you and the school. If it was my child I would not have my child repeat the grade. Conselors have told me holding a child back is not necessarily what is best for them.

DO NOT LET THEM HOLD HIM BACK!

There is nothing to be gained by holding him back at this point. Some argument can be made for holding a child back in the 1st grade but those are in rare and very specific cases. Holding a child back in the second grade can do him only harm. Assuming that the only issue is his ADD. His teacher may feel he should be held back because of incomplete work, this in not a reason to hold him back. A student shouldn't be held back as a punishment or consequence for failing to do something. The only reason to hold a student back is if he did not learn an important set of skills he will need, and there is a reasonable expectation that he will learn them the second time through. With well monitored medication and support there is no reason her son cannot learn what he needs to in the third grade, even if he feels a little behind at the start if he can't, he will lose nothing by trying.

I don't know the child but if I had to bet money, I'd bet that if he starts the 3rd grade this fall, with the help of his mother and well monitored medication, he will find that school seems much easier. There is every reason to believe that he will thrive in the third grade.

Here is a link to a great non-profit organization to use for information and to find support in her local area.

http://www.chadd.org/?gclid=CKf23qHNupMCFR30IgodORZACw

Hi J.! I admire that you are stepping out and asking questions for your son. You are really going to bat for him.
I totally agree with Nicole S about the homeschooling and I also agree with those who said to get an IEP.
My friend has 2 kids that would have been held back and she homeschooled one for a year and the other kid for the summer and they ended up not needing to repeat. Contrary to what so many believe you CAN just homeschool for a short time.

Sometimes we have to do what we need to make sure our kids get the optimum education they deserve.

I hope you can find something that works for you! I agree with the poster who said retention should be a last resort. I wish I could be of more help, my heart goes out to you but I think the more questions you ask, the more you ask "why hold him back" and if you push for what YOU think your son needs then you will be in great shape. There are lots of resources out there and the school should help you utilize them.

Repeating the 2nd grade really isn't all that uncommon. However, I am wondering why he couldn't take summer school and if he can get up-to-speed academically by the end of the summer, why couldn't the school let him in 3rd grade in the fall? Also, at the meeting you are having I would think it would be beneficial to have the psychologist/mental health clinician who is prescribing the ADD meds to your son have some input here as well in the decision.

Have you ever considered trying neurofeedback? It is a method of training away the slow brainwaves that are responsible for ADD. You would need to find a clinician who is trained in administering neurofeedback if you were interested. It is not incompatible with medicine, and the great news is it can often result in a discontinuation of the need for medication. Neurofeedback provides a permanent change for the child, whereas medicating a child for this can just go on and on with an end not in sight. I always try to suggest this when I hear of a child being medicated because sometimes parents are not aware that there is a permanent alternative to medicine for treating ADD. If you Google ADD+neurofeedback you can find more information about it.

As a special education teacher, it is always more beneficial if they are held back in the first or second grades. I am not a proponent of holding back a kiddo if they are in the third grade or above. Holding him back will be positive if you make it positive. It will be negative if you have a negative feeling about it.
1. What are your students grades?
Is he struggling with reading and math. Second grade is where fluency in reading and comprehension are focused on. If your son is struggling with reading, retention is a good plan, it will do nothing but help him build his love for reading.
2. Is your son socially ready to meet the challenges of 3rd grade? Does he make friends easily, how does he handle stress? 3rd grade becomes more challenging with the added stress of more homework and beginning cursive writing. There is a big transition between the two grades and even kids who don't have problems in 2nd grade, struggle in 3rd grade.
3. If you have seen issues, ask for your child to be discussed for a possible special education evaluation. If he has struggled, how come the school district did not talk about an evaluation?
4. Retention is not the end of the world. Many kiddos are retained in the first few years of school. The earlier they are retained the better.

Watch your son for changes in behavior when on his meds. Kiddos build up tolerance to these meds after being on them for a while.
Enjoy your son, give him all the the love and support you can give. Let him know he is alright if you choose to retain. That you are only giving him an advantage on his academics. Good luck.

Dear J.,

I know it is hard to accept that your son may need to repeat a grade, but I feel the younger they are the easier it is on them. If you wait one more year, and then he has to repeat third grade, it may be more tramatic for him, and if there are things he needs to review from second grade he will totally miss that by going onto third grade, so repeating third might not help him as much as repeating second.

Think about it...my thoughts are with you.

C.

I'm a mother of a 16 year old who's ADHD and a 14 year old who's ADD. My 14 year old was just put on an IEP because he now doesn't have the self confidence that his peers have because learning is a little harder for him. He had been diagnosed with borderline ADD and I wish now that they had recommended holding him back a year in grade school. I know that there are two schools of thought on this, but let me tell you, it's worth letting your child have the experince of learning when they don't have other baggage of not "getting it" attached. No amount of summer school will allow them to catch up with their peers. The schools are so much for pushing kids thru, no matter how or what they've learned, that we now are getting kids that don't have the basics of life. Next time you're in a fast food place, watch some of the cashers, you'll be shocked to find that they can't even count back change. Why is this? It's because they lack the basics that they learned back in grade school and have no clue why. If your teachers feel that he needs to be held back right now, I'd go along with it providing that the also do an IEP for him. The IEP will modify his learning where he'll get the help he need to be able to catch up with what he's missed. Don't push him thru school if he's not ready for it and don't let him quit learning either. Life and school will get harder for him when he get older so any help right now that he can get, grab for it.

dont feel embarrassed for holding your son back. it is better to be ahead in some things than behind in all.

i run a day care and one of the children has been having some difficulties. they suggested keeping her back one year, and the mom is very supportive of that. she was held back and she never once thought it was a disadvantage. instead of struggling to keep up with the others, your child will be able to grow and really blossom with less pressure to keep up! i would follow the teachers recommendations, they know what they are talking about. it is always possible to take advanced classes when your son is older - its much harder to deal with being behind all the time. so go with it! it will be great!

I would look into getting a tooter for the summer or see if there is summer school available.. Is he really behind, or just needs a little extra help in certain areas? Sometimes teachers are too quick to take action and other times they are to late on taking action. I would sit down with the teacher and maybe the principle as well and figure out every possiblity. You want to do the right thing for your son. You don't want him to get made fun of for being behind and having the other kids make him feel stupid. Kids can be very mean. But you have to really sit down, find out how far behind he really is and go from there.. Good luck.

My nephew repeated the 2nd grade as well and it was well worth it. The longer you wait the tougher it is for the child on a few different levels. My nephew is now in the 6rth grade and doing so much better.

I also have an 8 year old boy who was recently diagnosed with ADHD. His teacher told me that if we didn't do something to help him, he would need to repeat the second grade. We decided to put him on the medicine. It has been 2-3 months and he is now cought up in all but 2 areas so he is able to continue on into third grade. Second grade is one of the most critical years in school, so I was told by the teachers. Is he having problems with reading? When my son was able to focus more and learned to read a little better, he improved in all other areas because he was not so confused and fusterated. Maybe, if it is financaly fesable, send him to Sylvan or some where else for the summer and get him to third grade level after starting him on the meds. See if the school will pass him through if you do this.

I would if all possible try not to hold your son back especially since he is on meds and they are working and helping his concentration. I am a classroom teacher and I also was a special education teacher, and one of my students, when he started taking meds for his ADD, his reading level went up 1 grade level and he was at grade level at the end of the year. Your son just needs remedial support to help him catch up on his learning and along with the meds. that are working for him will help him improve. I don't know if he has an IEP or is on special education support but I would asked the psychologist, teacher, and principal if he can be assessed for an other health disability. ADD is usually under that category. Special education services and a IEP or a 504 plan would greatly benefit your son in 3rd grade as he is catching up with his learning. You have the right as a parent to request in writing that you want your son assessed for special education services or also to have the school write up a 504 plan to help with his specific needs. Again, I would leave holding him back a grade as a last resort and try some other things first. I hope this helps. Please email me if something I said is confusing or you would like more help with anything. Good luck with everything!

S.

I think if you can do anything to make sure he doesn't have to repeat. I think it would be really harmful to his self esteem.

What about trying out sylvan or one of the other tuitoring businesses. I'm sure it costs a bit of money, but I think it would be worth it to get him caught up and ready for third grade.

There is a huge developmental jump in the 3rd grade. That is when kids stop learning to read, and start reading to learn. Kids are expected to work independently, complete multi stage projects, read chapter books and sift the info out, them apply that info. If your son has ADD, he already struggles with those things, and if he is behind already, it will be a disaster. You can insist he move up, but are you willing to take the consequence? It is easier to repeat 2nd than 3rd, especially if he has had a year of failure in 3rd.
Can he change schools to repeat 2nd grade? Can he home school, either with you, or on-line with a grandparent, friend, relative?

Hey there. I'm a teacher and mom. If a teacher is encouraging your child to repeat a grade - I would seriously consider it. It's great that your son is doing better w/meds, but he probably missed a lot of his 2nd grade stuff. To send him on to 3rd grade could be creating a huge disaster. Since he might have missed the 2nd grade stuff he could really struggle with 3rd grade level information/rules/expectations. It's better to hold them back at a younger age then at an older age. When he gets older you'll have a bigger peer issue to deal with if he needs to repeat a grade at that time.
This is probably not what you want to hear at all - I understand. A child that isn't ready for the grade that he/she is in usually becomes a discipline problem and that would stink for you guys as parents.
He can always be moved during the school year if he is mastering the 2nd grade level work - then he could be considered "super cool" because he was able to skip a grade - sort of. Little kids are pretty forgiving and forgetful when it comes to their friends.
Good luck on making your decision!

I had to deal with this with my son. I would look in to having him tutored over the summer months. We had a teacher during the summer tutor my son and boy what a differnece that made. There is also Sylan learning center or Huntington but they cost alot of money.
We were very happy with having my son tutored, we are going to be doing it again this summer with both my boys they are 8 and 10. (3rd & 5th grade going into next school year)
I would see if your school would be willing to help you find someone.
Good Luck!

Sorry, something happened with my computer and I didn't get to finish my response. I am a teacher. There is a lot of research about the negative consequences of retaining children. I am surprised your son' school is considering retention. Maybe he could go to a summer school program or have a private turot. I am wondering what areas in school he needs help. You can e-mail me personally if you would like some private tutoring or other suggestions.

Good luck!
S.

I'd explore homeschooling. You can even do this if you work fulltime. There are alot of support groups in the metro area for parents who work full-time and even more groups for those who homeschool full-time. The benefit of homeschooling is that your son will not work by grade levels but at his own pace. In short you will not have to repeat a grade, but rather will need to do an assessment of where his skills are, and work from there.

The best part of homeschooling nowadays is there are many detailed state accredited curriculums geared toward kids with issues like this. You can also hire a state approved accrediting agency to help monitor your son's work to ensure that he stays on track with state standards for graduation.

This is a great option for kids with ADHD and many have learned to master their difficulties and do well academically. I know several parents who have taken their kids out of traditional school settings, and their kids are leaps and bounds improved academically.

Keep in mind some kids just don't do well in a regular school setting. They need one on one attention and their schooling tailored specific to their needs. For these kids repeating a grade probably won't help, if the approach is the same approach used before.

If you'd like more information on homeschooling options check out www.mache.org, www.hslda.org, and the upcoming homeschool curriculum fair at the University of St. Thomas on the weekend of May 30th. You can read about the conference and register at www.mnconference.org. There will also be two workshops, one on Friday and the other Saturday morning on home education for students with learning challenges such as ADHD, dyslexia, information processessing disorders, etc.

While this conference is aimed at Catholic Homeschoolers, it is open to all who are interested in learning more about it. The same curriculum vendors available at the non-catholic conferences will be there. You can also learn about the State's requirements for homeschooling and what curriculums may work best for you.

Hope this helps. If you have questions, e-mail me.

J.,

You are doing the best thing you can for your son by gathering information and facts now :) You are your child's best advocate. And in my opinion, start early and keep on top of it!

It is surprising that they're bringing up retention. Retention should be used as a last resort - and in my opinion, *after* other accommodations have failed. Since you're already talking with your team next week talk with them about an evaluation for an IEP (to bring him up to grade level) and accommodations so that he maintains grade level.

There are a number of resources available online that can help you gather the information you need:

http://www.chadd.org
http://www.pacer.org
http://www.minnesotapromise.org

I hope this helps!

Liz

J.,
In my opinion having to repeat a grade is harmful to one's self-esteem. I dont' know where you live but LearningRx is awesome. They have a ton of different training options...but they work one on one with your child. (Same person for the length of the program) I would take the summer and try this. The things that they do there are fun for the student,so that he won't put up much of a fight to go. They train you also to do things at home with him too. Please give it a try, I think you'd be so much more happy

Hi J.,

I'm not sure that this was mentioned. IEP stands for Individualized Education Plan. Any child receiving specialized education shoud be on an IEP, which should clearly state what the goals are for the child and how these goals will be accomplished. You can contact PACER Center for a guide called "A Guide for Minnesota Parents to the Individualized Education Program".

I would definately contact PACER as many of the advocates also have children with different special needs and I'm sure they can connect you with someone who has worked with parents/districts with ADD and would be familiar with what to ask, suggest, etc. for services. And, remember, you do NOT have to sign the IEP that may be presented to you next week. You can take it home with you to read and re-read it and even ask PACER to go over it with you. You are your childs best advocate and if something isn't sitting right with what is suggested, then think through it with someone who can be objective - not the school, not your spouse, but a trained advocate.

Is it realistic that your child could catch up over the summer with supports from the school? Is it your goal to have him move on with his class and how do you reach that goal? How can the school support you to achieve this goal (over the summer). Re-evaluation maybe could be done prior to the beginning of the school year.

I hope this helps. Good luck!
M.

Hi J.,
I am a kindergarten teacher and we have had a lot of discussion lately with our school principal and child pychologist about retention. There has been a lot of research that the two of them have been reading and none of it supports retention. We have done retention in our kindergarten classes in the past because we felt this was the best time to do it and I think it has helped some kids become more confident. With the latest research showing that the benefits do not outweigh the negative effects it has on the child, we have decided not to retain in our kindergarten classes unless the child is socially immature or a parent requests it. Hope this helps. I am sure you will hear different advice from other educators, administrators, and psychologist, but I just wanted to share what our school is doing. Hope this helps. R.