Eating Healthy & Grandparents

Oh my goodness! I never remember my father giving me a cookie before dinner, but he loves to give them to my kids. We have been telling the kids (within hearing of their grandparents) that if they do a great job with dinner then nana or papa will give them a special treat after. Then everyone (grandparents included) know when the time for snacks are. I laugh when we get to my inlaws house and the kids take a candy that is right out on the counter, and then after they take their one, I put the candy jar in the cabinet and try to redirect the kids. It's tough. Thank goodness I have a good relationship with my inlaws. Good luck!

Remember you are the parent.You could talk with the grand parents and ask them to please ask you first before giving your children treats.Plan ahead if you know they are coming don't let you children have any treats for that day or so.
I know with my four year old if I know she is going to a party or to her grandparents I do not let her have any treats that day. I also know that she will eat a lot of junk at a party so I let it go up to a point. I always make sure that she eats healthy food that day and if I see she has had to much junk food I put a stop to it.
Good luck!

Grandparents were meant to spoil their grandchildren. Let's face it, we have all be on the other end when we were young; eyes gleaming when we saw our grands. In today's concern with health and wellness, you may want to let them present it to the kids, but ask them to give it to you. YOU can then offer these as special treats when celebrating special times; controlling when and what they get. You also indicated it is not constant, so as long as you are teaching your kids that healthy is better and a treat for special times is okay.

As a grandmother, I offer healthy treats. Also maybe you can guide the grandparents in the right direction, to look for those healthier treats.

I had a similar experience and I insisted that they feed them no junk food. They never did understand, but we are the ones that have to live with a "sugar high" child, not them.
My parents were fine with it, since they eat all healthy food, but my husband's parents had a hard time with it, even wanting to wake up my kids(ages 5 & 6yrs at the time) at 9pm to go out for ice cream! I don't think so!
Stick with it.......try to explain if that works!

We had a similiar problem, except the grandparents live only 1/2 mile away, and watch our kids 1-2x/wk while we work. While they are little (until my oldest reached 2 or so), I made food lists suggestions for when I was gone. Now that she is older they know we focus on healthy food, and I leave it up to them. I figure that it's only once in awhile for a few hours, so I mostly let it go, only drawing the line for major things.
good luck
L.

I am interested to hear what folks have to say on this one. I had issues with this as well...grandma (mother-in-law)pushing frosting in my son's mouth when he was 3 mos old. I asked her not to do that, but gave her a bit more of an earful when I found crumbs on a bib (at that time he was exclusively on formula) She has backed way down, and I do try to find ways that she can spoil him with a limited snack/treat AFTER the meal has happened, not instead. ie. "Ask Grandma for ONE cookie" in grandma's earshot, with my eye contact, and that has been working. That way she is the one who gets to give a treat. So far my son could not care less. He is happier with squash or mangoes than with sweets. I am hoping to keep it that way for as long as I can without being a crazy mom.

The key here is frequency. If the grandparents are around daily or weekly, then you need to lay some ground rules and with your husband's support, stick to them.

When they come to your house, if you don't have any of that stuff in your house, it's academic. I have yet to find a set of grandparents that will take time away from their grandkids to go to the store. At their house, you are guests, and while you are still the parents, there is probably room for indulgence.

My children's grandparents all live far away, and so I am pretty lax about things when we visit them. If I catch my Dad sugaring them up, my husband and I simply go out for the evening and have the grandparents do bedtime. That usually solves the problem for rest of that visit :-).

The key is balance. Sweets are like sex. If you make them into these mysterious things that others enjoy, but they are not allowed to sample, it makes them that more enticing. If you "market" them as special treats for special occasions and that the majority of their diet is balanced and nutritious, you won't have any problem. Honestly, portion size in America is a bigger problem than some extra cookies and ice cream at Grandma's house.

Hi
L.
I am a grandparent. When my granddaughter comes to visit I let her have one treat such as a couple of biscuits or some chocolate. In the warm weather i keep ice pops for her in the freezer.If she wants any thing else i try to encourage her to have a apple or other fruit.This is after she as her dinner I suggest you tell the grandparents they are allowed one treat as you do not want them having an unbalanced diet as it will effect there teeth and also there health in later life. When i visit my grand daughter i take a treat for her such as a comic or sticker book and spend time with her doing things in the comic. perhaps you could suggest to them that they would get more fun out of a comic or some other toy that doesn't have to be expensive and they can spend time with the children playing with them.
regards M.

Yes, you SHOULD worry about this! Right now, it's just the grandparents. Tomorrow it will be the bday parties, the playdates, the aunts and uncles and neighbors. They all want to be liked and think that their little treats are the only ones the kids are getting and a little won't hurt.
It's very hard but the sooner you establish the rules the better. It only gets worse otherwise.
I don't mean to be gloomy but I have been through all this. It's still a struggle.
One option is to provide some easy to read literature for your folks on childhood diabetes, obesity, tooth decay, hyperactivity and long term implicationis for chronic immune deficiencies.
It's better that they think you're an annoying fanatic than they establish long term habits that are detrimental.
Good luck!

I watched my mother in law torture my sister in law with all the gooodies she pumped into my neices and nephews. My sil had numerous talks with her. When my turn came along ,the first time she snuck the candy bags out of her purse I praised her for being so thoughtful. When she asked if I minded the chocolate I told her I trusted her judgement completely and that she raised three happy, healthy children! My kids get 1 ice cream after some healthy food now. And she hides the chocolate before they come in. My sil kids still get 14 pounds of sugar.
Grandparents were definitely made for child spoiling. We just have to try to keep it somewhat reasonable.

Hi L., I'm a mother of 3 with grandparents that love to spoil the kids. It's really not a battle worth fighting. If it happened everyday with my children then I would have a problem, but just once and awhile is okay. That's what a grandparent is supposed to do. Spoil the kids a little.

If it's only once in a while, perhaps you can allow both the grandparents & the children the pleasure, but in moderation? ONE cookie, OR ONE piece of candy, OR ONE scoop of ice cream? I'm also very strict about the dessert thing, so I understand your point of view.

I have the same problem as you. When the kids(ages 8 and 6)go to great grandmas house they are allowed cookies, cake, brownies, you name it. My grandmother even sends them home with this stuff. She does make them eat dinner but I almost laugh at the portion sizes are. For example, she gives them a few small peices of chicken, a tablespoon of corn and a tablespoon of potatoes. That is fine for a toddler but the girls need to eat alot more than that. Especially when they get almost unlimited snacks as their "reward" for finishing dinner. They sleep over twice a month. So it really isnt a horrible thing. I tried to get her to not give them so much but she doesnt see the harm. I guess I see her point. I just make sure I limit the snacks and keep up on their healthy diet at home. I did request that she limit the snacks(just 1 cookie or peice of cake)becuase they tend to get sick from too much. She has been pretty good about it.
So I say talk to them about limiting the snacks so your daughter has a healthy appetite for dinner(and doesnt get sick)Other than that, there wont be much harm in letting your daughter indulge at grandmas.

Well.... I went through this SAME thing! The best thing you can do, is lay a couple ground rules... Like, No sweets before dinner or too close to bed. And maybe some veggies every once in a while. Try to make the grandparents understand that while you LOVE how they spoil the kids, you'd rather they eat a little better.
Also, for me, I just left my kids overnight. They both got sick, and that was the end of that. Now my mother-in-law fills them with veggies & fruit!

Good luck!

K. :)

I'd ask them before you go if there are any special treats they are planning to give the kids and then see if you can strike a happy medium with them (i.e. some treats there, some to "take home" whereby you promptly throw them in the trash when you get home).