Is Dessert a Dinnertime Routine in Your House?

Updated on October 15, 2013
S.H. asks from Kailua, HI
50 answers

Another question about dinner time battles with kids got me thinking.
Some kids don't eat or battle about it etc., and all they want is dessert, instead.

So per the "dessert" factor.... I was just wondering, if dessert is a normal every night after dinner routine with everyone?
Do you all have dessert after dinner or not as a habit? Or routine?

In my house, we don't have dessert after dinner.
We have dinner. That's it.
Growing up, we didn't have dessert either as a matter of dinnertime routine. But if we got a "treat" after dinner, that was a special thing. Not a matter of daily routine or habit.
And it was not expected.
Dessert or after dinner sweets/treats was mostly when we had guests or it was a special occasion etc.

I don't have dinner/eating battles with my kids. Although they are both different.
I don't serve dessert. I don't use dessert as a way to get my kids to eat or behave.
I dunno. We have dinner. We eat. They eat. Then dinner is over.

Was just wondering what you all do in your neck of the woods per "dessert"????

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So What Happened?

By "dessert" I mean, dessert.
Not snacks not treats etc. during other times of the day or later on, after dinner per snack.
But dessert with and after dinner.

Featured Answers

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I sometimes use desserts as a reward for eating something new/different at dinner - not at ALL a frequent thing.

I will also add that my son has sensory issues so new/different foods can be difficult for him to overcome and enjoying something like a scoop of ice cream is a nice way to congratulate that.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

We do not have dessert. I just usually make it if we have company, and occasionally on the weekend. Sometimes I will make cupcakes for cookies, for the kids for after school for a treat. My mom was June Cleaver when I was growing up, and we always had a hot treat for after school so I kind of like to do that sometimes because it is a nice memory for me, of my mom caring for us and wanting to do something nice. Anyway, I actually decided that for Sunday, after lunch, that I wanted to make some caramel apple pie hand pies, and I did it, without a recipe! We were all sitting around, watching the football game, and they were great!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

We have a bowl of candy. If she eats all or most of her dinner, she gets a piece of candy. It's not a big deal.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

We have dessert on weekends and sometimes during the week. I like to bake, and lately I've been making lots of ice cream. During black raspberry season, we have pie for breakfast and dinner. When we have parties, we then have cake during the week, etc,

You do have to eat your dinner to have dessert, but we don't battle over food. Eat or don't eat, it's your choice, just don't say anything rude, and thank the cook no matter what.

I grew up with a similar attitude towards dessert. We also had something sweet after lunch. My kids go through phases where they have a tiny piece of candy after lunch. I think most things in moderation is a decent approach to life. They are both very thin, and I'm happy with my weight, and dessert is just food after all, so I see no problem with it being part of dinner. It would be my preference, but I couldn't imagine baking that much :-)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

"Dessert" at our house is a snack before bed. Sometimes something sweet like a bit of ice cream or a cookie, sometimes something like popcorn or yogurt. It's usually at least an hour after dinner and 30 minutes before bedtime.

We don't bribe with dessert per se, but if one is too full at dinner to eat a complete meal, then one will be too full later to have a snack. If one doesn't eat a complete meal at dinner, one can finish the meal later when hungry. We don't do "clean your plate" or anything like that but I serve reasonable, small portion sizes of healthy food at dinner. Opting out of a balanced dinner means no snack later.

My kids went through picky phases but for the most part are good eaters, at least at dinner time (one doesn't eat breakfast or lunch regularly). They're all skinny as rails too so I don't worry about weight with them. I grew up with a very restricted diet (we had no sugar in my house for 5 years) and have seen what that can do when the restrictions are lifted. I try to not go to extremes with food - sweets are fine on a regular basis, in moderation. Because sweets aren't forbidden, my kids don't go crazy over them. I could bake a pan of brownies and they would easily sit around for a week.

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Well, we have not always had (nor do we now have) a proper "dessert" after dinner on a daily basis. It is actually quite rare that I make a real dessert, normally if we are having guests only.

But, we do (often enough that it has become routine) have a little something (as Pooh bear might call it) after dinner. Mostly, because my husband almost always gets up from the dinner table, and within 30 minutes grabs a yogurt. We allow the kids to have something treat like after their meal, but they are older now and it isn't really predicated on how much of their dinner they eat, because, well, they eat without being made to.

An oreo or two. A scoop of vanilla ice cream. A chocolate chip cookie. A piece of pre-Halloween candy or two. A Little Debbie.
Any of those things could be "dessert". And the kids are old enough to choose their own. Half the time, okay, more than half the time, my son (who is 15) will ask what the options are and just decide he doesn't want any of whatever the choices are.

As long as they eat healthfully over the course of the day, I don't think it matters if they have a little something after dinner every day. It is kind of a reward for eating healthy all day, actually. Because, for the most part, they do.

I grew up in a home where anything sweet or "dessert-y" was a rarity. Jell-o was dessert sometimes and it was a treat. Chocolate was unheard of, unless it was in chocolate chip cookies (and those went fast in a family of 5 with 2 boys). So I basically grew up being "denied" any indulgence in sweets. I still have issues with it now, today, at 45. Because I feel like I am indulging in something forbidden.

I do not want my kids to feel that way. And they don't. There is almost always something around, and they never have that longing for sweets that never gets indulged. Total non-issue.
Daughter made herself a small bowl of ice-cream just a little while ago before she went to bed. (she's 12). Just a small bowl of vanilla ice cream. Nothing crazy. And she was perfectly happy. I don't have to go look in the freezer to see if she cleaned it out. She didn't use all the whipped cream and chocolate syrup in the house because nobody was standing over her watching and doling out limited portions. She has learned portion control over time..
When the kids were younger (like ages 5-8 or so) they got ONE cookie, if dessert was a cookie. Now, they can have a couple. And they will, if they are in the mood. Or they won't. But they don't raid the pantry and eat them all when they think no one is looking, either.

So, we use the term "dessert" for any after dinner treat. Whether it is a Halloween mini candy or a bowl of ice cream, or a slice of homemade apple pie or cheesecake. But rarely do we have the homemade pie or cheesecake. ;)
------
So, per your SWH, as a final course of the meal, sitting at the table all served at once? Almost never. Thanksgiving, or if we have special guests over for dinner (not just extended family getting together). On those occasions I will actually serve a dessert course. Other than that... nope. See above.

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

We don't use dessert as a way to get the kids to eat dinner. They are very good about eating just about anything. They do like a sweet treat sometime during the day, especially my daughter, but I limit it to a small treat. My son doesn't really think about it, but my daughter has a sweet tooth. Sometimes I forget about dessert, so she asks if she can have this or that. Sometimes we plan a fun dessert on purpose and enjoy it as a family after dinner. I grew up having two small cookies after dinner each night. It was a nice tradition to teach us that a small something sweet is okay, but not to expect anything elaborate.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

No dessert after dinner here. We are not fans if sweets so I only make dessert if we have guests and we still don't indulge.

If we feel the need for something to snack before bed it's usually fruit.

We just don't do dessert at our house.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My kids have dessert after most meals. Be it some ice cream, a cookie, a brownie...something sweet.
They all play outside 2-3 hours after school and my two boys (8 and 11) play premier soccer 4-5 days a week.
They are healthy kids at healthy weights. Their teeth look good too! lol
L.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Not usually. I always thought it would make dinner harder, not easier. Sure, we sometimes had treats in the evenings (especially ice cream or popsicles during the summer) but that was always later and not tied to dinner in any way. My kids DID get a sweet in their lunch every day (usually cookies) and breakfast often had a sweet component (like syrup or jelly) so they certainly weren't deprived of sugar!
Also, it's partly a regional thing. I come from the midwest and growing up it was common to have dessert after both lunch and dinner, usually something like a piece of cake following a ham steak with a side of mac n cheese. The waistlines of the people I grew up with reflected that and I had no desire to repeat it :-p

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B..

answers from Dallas on

No. We have never had dessert after dinner. An exception would be Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Birthdays.

We all eat dinner and it's done. If any of us are still hungry later on, we have a piece of fruit.

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Were you looking to link the bribing of dessert to picky eaters? because I would guess that the picky eating comes first and then dessert becomes used as the bribe.

in our house we don't do dinner everynight, I also don't usually do side dishes unless im really focusing on getting veggies into the kids. but I digress.

I do like to bake, nothing fancy but it's more a nibble on it till it's gone than something I've prepared for dessert after dinner. i'm too lazy.

Ds has been into cooking lately so I let him make boxed pudding after dinner last night but it wasn't really tied to dinner.

if the kids and hubs are at a restaurant they expect it, but usually w big portions sizes i'm too full of dinner to want dessert.

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J.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Usually on Friday's we make cookies or popcorn after dinner for our kids. Only sometimes during the rest of the week, do we have some type of a dessert after dinner. I usually do not "bake" a dessert, but they might have something store bought. My mom was a baker and often made desserts for me, my sister, and dad. I somehow did not inherit that gene.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Nope. Dessert is not a norm - it happens - we have dessert stuff - ice cream drumsticks, jell-o, pudding, etc. heck we have fruit too that they like to munch on after dinner...but my boys do NOT ask for it after each dinner. It all depends...

There's been a few times when I would shake up the house - and have some special dessert first - then we would eat our meal...kinda do things backwards.

I don't have picky eaters.
I don't have battles over eating.
So I guess I have it pretty easy....my battles are over XBOX...oh joy!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

No never did in my house. My husband on the other hand had it every day! He still has to have dessert after lunch and dinner. He weighs exactly the same thing as the day we got married 38 years ago. Our kids never had dessert except for maybe once a week. My husband would have something after they went to bed.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

Growing up, we had dessert at my grandmas after Sunday dinner, or on holiday meals. That was it.

Other than that, we just had treats that we ate whenever, as long as it wasn't too close to a meal.

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I am not opposed to them having a sweet treat everyday. My kids are healthy, get a good amount of exercise, drink a lot of water and eat very well. If my kids had a choice between sushi or a bowl of their favorite ice cream, they would choose sushi. They don't ask everyday but letting them have something sweet is fine with me; i always have something in the pantry.

When my husband was young his mom never let him have anything sweet. Now as an adult, he and his sisters are junk food junkies. They are addicted to sweets, it's actually disgusting how much junk they eat. Both sisters have eating disorders and they blame it on their mom and her obsession with not allowing them to have any sweets.

Everything in moderation for our family , except my husband.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

This is an interesting question. Growing up, at my house there was always dessert after dinner, and occasionally (but not always) after lunch. It wasn't much, but it was some sort of sweet. My dad liked to have dessert. I remember once hearing a neighbor say they had fruit instead of sweets, and I was amazed. I'd never heard of such a thing.

But it was never a bribe - or a threat. It was just a standard part of the meal.
At my house now, we're the old people, of course, and we don't do desserts for health reasons. My husband is diabetic and I break out in fat. I didn't have trouble with my weight until I "adopted" certain things (mostly non-sweets!) as comfort food. So now there are a number of foods I choose not to put on my plate.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

We don't do dessert very often at all.
It's a sometimes thing.
Usually for birthdays or holidays.
Occasionally we'll have something randomly but it's a total surprise and not expected at all.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

If she eats a good dinner and is still hungry, she can have some ice cream or some other treat. We don't have dessert as a regular thing, but I don't need to restrict sweets as she doesn't eat too many anyway, and is a normal weight.

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S.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Very infrequent here as well. It's not a matter of course to have sweets around, much less after every dinner. Sometimes the kiddos will go through my cookbooks and ask to try a dessert so we will make it then. We don't battle over food either. If they are hungry enough they will eat without me bargaining with them :-)

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I did not grow up having dessert except on special occasions. My husband grew up having dessert EVERY night. Even after lunch some days too. So, he wants ice cream after dinner every day. It has taken 9 years but he finally is starting to get it that we do not need dessert every day. He'd be happy to give our kids ice cream in the evening every day if I were not around. We probably do dessert once or twice a week. It's a good compromise. When we get together with his family they always have dessert every night. He, his dad and his brother are thin. His mom and sister are very overweight. They all eat the same...it's just genetics and some people are prone to put on weight while others do not.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

If I bake something--we'll have it for dessert or as a snack before bed.
More often, as a snack later.
Snack can be I've cream, fruit, cheese and crackers, granola bar, smoothie or a half a sandwich--depends what we feel like.
But, no, "dessert at dinner" here? Not SOP.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Nope. We don't have dessert. Every once in a while we do have dessert -- ice cream or a cookie or something. But honestly, I can't remember the last time... but it was probably a few months ago. I'm much more likely to let my kids have something sugary during the day rather than as the day is ending. They probably have a small piece of candy or a cookie or whatever once or twice a week after lunch or after school.

There's no reward at my house for finishing dinner. You either do or you don't. And I just read another posters response. Not sure if you're equating dessert with bribery for picky eaters. But just in case... I have one semi picky eater and incredibly picky eater. She has been since birth. No bribe -- even an entire bowl of candy -- would convince her to eat something she doesn't want to. (sadly)

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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

No dessert unless there's some sort of big celebration.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Dessert is not standard. It is completely random and never counted on or expected. Sometimes it may be nothing more than a couple small cookies. depends on if we have anything in the house, what kind of behaviour we've had from the kids that day and if we're just in the mood.
Special occasions like holidays or visiting out of town family always include a planned dessert of some kind to go with the special-ness of the day. We will sometimes pick something up from the grocery store if we're picking up dinner there along with our groceries (love those rotisserie chickens at Sprouts and Costco! LOL).
It was never an all the time thing growing up for myself or my husband either.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

My kids are in HS and college now. I never got into the habit of serving a nightly dessert, only on special occasions. If my kids ate their dinner, I didn't care if they wanted a snack afterward. Other than my son's toddler/preschool years where he grazed much of the day and didn't eat much dinner, my kids were good eaters and we didn't really have issues with dinner. My son is now 14 and at that non-stop teen eating stage, where he'll eat his dinner and then make himself a peanut butter sandwich at 9pm.
When I was growing up, "dessert" was canned fruit. Pudding or Jello as a special treat. My mother didn't keep baked goods in the house, probably out of habit from when my father was alive (he was a diabetic, and back then - he died in 1969 - it was just about the sugar, not the total carbs, they didn't know about that back then).

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I serve dessert on Sunday nights and on holidays. Sunday supper is a special occasion at our house. It is always a big meal, with candles, wine and dessert. After the supper dishes are cleared from the table and the dishwasher is loaded we take some time (an hour or more) to digest our meal, then we have dessert. (Tonight was our Thanksgiving and we had three desserts!) The rest of the week we don't normally have dessert, although we may go out for ice cream now and then, or the kids might have a cookie. Desserts don't cause a battle in our house. One of my boys usually doesn't eat dessert. Tonight while we were eating pumpkin pie, pumpkin cake and lemon cake he asked if he could have some more turkey instead!

ETA: We never serve dessert right after dinner. Nobody would eat it. It's always served separately. But it is our dessert course, not a snack or a treat.

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We don't have dessert except for holidays. If we go to the farmers' market on Sat., they get a treat. Bedtime snack is usually Cheerios and fruit. (I have a stash of chocolate for myself when I have an emergency. My dear husband knows to keep it stocked.)

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

We don't do dessert.
My parents didn't either.
We had treats often.
We had great things to eat for dinner.
My mom treated us to things.
We eat. Dinner is over. Sometimes if anyone is still hungry hour later, they will get some themselve some type of snack.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

We only have dessert for special occasions - holidays, birthdays, that sort of thing. There are usually cookies or some sweet in the pantry for whoever wants them, but dessert isn't part of regular meals.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We often have fruit after dinner. It is not a reward or punishment and has nothing to do with how much DS eats at dinner.

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J.B.

answers from New Orleans on

We do sometimes, but it usually like a pudding, some yogurt, apple slices with peanut butter, sometimes fruit snacks etc. I do usually tell the kids that if they eat everything, they can have whatever it is, if they can have a treat. But we don't do that every night. As far as actual sweets, it's super rare. I LOVE sweets. I am not that person who can have cake and brownies in the house without looking like the side of one!

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⊱.⊰.

answers from Spokane on

No, we do not regularly have dessert after dinner.

We do have dessert when we have company or for holidays and special occasions.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Unless popcorn is dessert, no we don't have dessert after dinner.

Popcorn is 4th meal in our house. :-)

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F.B.

answers from New York on

Hubs has a serious sweet tooth. He can and will have multiple servings of desserts if they are in the apt. Tea biscuits, chocolate covered digestives, I keep to serve with coffee for the occassional guest, m&m's for potty training rewards, heaven forbid ice cream, will be found, and devoured by him. If we are out of "true desserts" he will improvise and spike his yogurt with honey.

I can take them or leave them. I don't need to have them around, and don't finish the lot if they are available.

DS eats the foods he likes with gusto. Sadly, his likes list doesn't include fruit or veg. He gets dessert in the form of rice pudding, apple sauce, granola bars, ice cream, cake and cookies at our house after dinner. At grandma's house, throughout the day.

were it not for hubs, I would like to say have a weekly home made dessert, but not in the cards.

best to you and yours,
F. B.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Chez moi, dessert = fruit. And yes, we do it every day, but no refined sugar unless it's a special treat. My other rule is no dessert until homework is done, and done well.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Desserts for us are very occasional, but it's not that we think it's "wrong", it's just not a norm for us. I buy a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and 7 months later throw it out because I need the room in the freezer...it's just how it is. But we like new treats here and there, usually seasonal or for special events. It's not a bribe when we do have desserts, but it stands to reason that if you're not hungry during the meal with the "real" foods then you can't have room for the "fun" food.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

No. No dessert on a regular, nightly basis.

If my daughters want something sweet after supper, they're welcome to have some fruit. Frankly that's what they prefer. Once in a while I'll make something dessert-y but it's usually special occasions or on a whim. There's absolutely no reason that a healthy diet should have junk food desserts every single day after supper or dinner.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids are not big on sweets and rarely want them. If I buy a gallon of ice cream, it always goes bad before we finish it in the house. Now I did make a batch of brownies on Saturday when all of the kids had guests over, the whole pan was gone in the morning. I also made cookies last week for my sister who was going through a rough time, and I left out two for each of us.

But in general, no, we do not have desserts on a regular basis. They are normally for holidays or special events. Not a daily thing.

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A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe once a week. And it is typically fruit-based (like an oatmeal apple crisp or berries with whipped cream) or ice cream. My older daughter points out that we never had dessert that often when she was growing up.
Cookies and brownies are pretty infrequent because I hate the cleanup from baking. We'll make them for special occasions and then eat them until they are gone.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

We don't do a formal dessert regularly, but my son usually takes a treat out of his catch all candy bucket after dinner. We toss the candies (or freeze some) he gets from Valentines, Halloween, Christmas, B-day, etc. I just went through the bucket to check for old stuff and found some chocolate turkeys and candy canes in there!

I see no problem with treats in moderation. He has always been an awesome eater--whole grains, veggies, fruit--but like mom, he has a sweet tooth!

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

On holidays or occasions there might be pie, cake, etc. but normally no. There is no treat to be had at the end of a typical meal here. If people are eating enough dinner, they don't have room for it anyway.

They might have a treat another time in the day, but mealtimes are for non-treat foods.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

We can rarely afford to have dessert with meals. We do occasionally have brownies or something like that. But they are made after dinner and we have them for snack before bedtime.

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M.S.

answers from Salinas on

During the week, we have "snack" after dinner which is usually something relatively healthy like fruit, whole grain crackers, whole wheat or raisin toast, maybe pudding or grainy cookies like oatmeal or fig newtons. The idea of snack is that you might get hungry after dinner but before bed, like after homework, shower, etc. I really try to tie it into "are you hungry for a snack?" That way it is not expected that you eat it as another meal or routine eating time or that you get something sweet necessarily and they assess if they are actually hungry. Sometimes they don't feel they need a snack, especially on sports practice nights when they eat dinner later than usual. On the weekends, we tend to do more of a "dessert" because we are usually eating with extended family and/or we are eating out, which are both more of a special occasion.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

We have dessert after dinner and they have to eat their veggies/fruit with dinner to have it. It's usually a piece of 90% dark chocolate or maybe a cookie.

They always eat their veggies/fruit and have even learned to like new ones. Before the dessert thing, they would just waste so much food it was crazy.

Sometimes they do ask what do I have to eat to get the dessert? And I say I don't care what you eat as long as the veggie and fruit are eaten. It's just really important to me they eat the veggie and fruit.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Not as a standard thing, no. I know many people do. We actually eat so few treats that half the cupcakes DD made went bad.

We didn't have dessert growing up because it was an avoidable expense. We did often have a dessert at Grandma's house on Sundays, but that was a special occasion.

We give DD small portions that she could reasonably finish and seconds are allowed. It's actually more common that we tell her she can have seconds of a favorite (or berries) if she eats her meat or salad than she gets a dessert. If you want to consider fruit a dessert, then yes, she gets that regularly. We hold berries to the end of the meal or she'd fill up on them.

We do have pie and ice cream for holidays or birthdays, but those meals are not routine.

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J.W.

answers from Harrisburg on

No dessert unless special dinner with guests, or out at a restaurant maybe. Didn't have it growing up either.

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No dessert unless special dinner with guests, or out at a restaurant maybe. Didn't have it growing up either.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

If you are thinking of 'dessert' as a sweet treat specifically after dinner, then I would say that we rarely do desserts.

We do have sweet, yummy things-- we usually say "just one a day" or so (special occasions of course, we have more), but often those treats might be a couple of cookies when I pick Kiddo (6) up from school, or a yummy pastry from a cafe on our walk, or an ice cream cone in the afternoon,a soda at the pizza place, etc. I'd rather he have a sweet treat in conjunction with some protein or a hearty snack. Desserts usually are for company or for a birthday, etc. Sweet treats? Sometimes once a day, sometimes just a couple times a week, all depending on what's going on, what we've got in the house, etc.

Dinnertime is pretty pleasant at our house. Kiddo's bedtime is right after dinner, so it seems strange to me to offer him sugar right before I want him to get a good rest.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Fruit as a snack before bedtime, not every night.

I now have a business where I provide food for people so we do taste a lot of different foods from around town. So sometimes, we will have some pastries, etc, but it is not normal.

When our child was young, no we did not have dessert every night/ We did have things that could be treats, but we tend to be a salty snack family.

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