Hi, A.. I'm a massage therapist and have my ears candled and done ear candling. I've even had my 7-year-old daughter candle my ears. It's not difficult, but I still have it done in front of a mirror and tell her what to do. First, you have to make sure you're using the right-sized candles. Second, candling only removes certain wax. If the wax is hard and crusty, the candles won't work. You can try soaking their ears with peroxide first. The best thing you can do is have a professional do it for you. They can assess whether or not it's safe to proceed with candling (there are instances it will bust the drums, like during an ear infection), and they have the experience to do it with maximum benefit.
Just so you know, candling isn't a hoax or dangerous unless done if it's contraindicated. Native Americans and Egyptians did this to clean their ears. I'm part Native American and have always been very curious about that ancestry and their practices. Their bodies are their temples. Those who strictly adhere to Native teachings don't do anything to pollute their bodies (smoke, drink, etc). Much of the natural things we use to feel better are things they were doing long before our time. But, as with anything, do your own research and determine what's best for you. I candle ears all the time, including my daughter's! Also, I've had doctors ask me why my ears are so clean, and I tell them it's from candling. They're always intrigued. Do I add a client? No. I don't want to. But I don't get lectured at all! Even my daughter's doctor doesn't lecture on the method. She just comments on how clean my daughter's ears are.
And the wax doesn't melt down the candle and into the ear. Not unless you get a low-quality one. I have a brother who was in Iraq for a tour of duty. When he came home during his 2-week leave, he couldn't even get a Q-tip in his ear. I bought the jumbo candles to use in his ear. After I was done, the Q-tip fit. Due to the amount of wax and other crud in his ear, the candle couldn't clean ALL the wax from his ear. What the candle didn't get, the Q-tip did. Every time I candle someone's ear, there's a different amount and texture of wax. People who are constantly at the doctor getting their ears flushed end up with a lot of the dark, sticky-looking wax. The average person has a few sticky wax balls, but most is a bit powdery (which matches the color of the dry but not hard wax).
Also, if no one's really around to candle my ears, I'll use peroxide. I've actually hurt myself using peroxide. I ended up with peroxide trapped in my inner ear, which caused a lot of pressure and pain.
Good luck!
M.