Don't Know What to Do.... - Chicago,IL

Feel free to tune me out. I just worked for a hospital (long ago) that had an incredible reproductive assistance program - we did an incredible story on a mother, who like you miscarried after miscarry - even after IVF only to find out there was a genetic abnomality that they caught doing PPG (or preimplantation genetic testing). It is a hot button for many, but for this family it was exactly what they needed to identify their viable embryos (meaning one her body wouldn't reject and miscarry).
Now, we did not go into WHAT was done with their unused embryos - that was their personal choice, but I do know that of the four that were viable at least one resulted in their precious baby boy . . .
Praying for you and the decision you have ahead.

Just sending hugs. Sorry. No advice.

One of my children was conceived through IVF but I didn't have to go through all that you have. I am so sorry for the craziness/stress that this has caused you. I can tell you this...we didn't have the money for all of the drama each month and to tell you the truth...one night, at the end of my rope, I went outside and prayed. It was simple and from the heart and I said, "I don't know if you want me to be a Mom or not, either way I'm fine with it, I just can't do this drama". Next month, I was pregnant on my last attempt. At some point, you need to let go. Only you and your husband know where that point is. From my heart, I wish you all good things....

I say if you want to try again naturally, go for it!

I do have a suggestion though. You have all those frozen em-babies...have you considered surrogacy? The resulting child would be genetically yours. You wouldn't have to go through the meds again. (They can seriously wreak havoc on you, can't they!? Not to mention the knots in your hips from the progesterone shots!) And it would take your body out of the equation. If you get a proven surrogate (as in one that has carried for others before) you know that her body can carry a child to term and responds to the meds.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose to do!

*hugs*

If you don't feel up to doing an IVF and wish to do another attempt naturally the doctor should follow your wishes, however you should wait until you have these ducks in a row. Exercising regularly to control body chemistry, eating right and even possibly gluten free(this will help if you happen to be gluen intolerant in anyway), sleep appropriately during your first negative trimester(3 months before conception) and the first 3 months, take the progesterone post ovulation, make sure your blood tests are on including the thyroid by having a complete workup including a full thyroid panel not just a TSH, start taking prenatal vitamins if you aren't already. If you put yourself in the best possible path and it is still a no go then you know you have to go to IVF. Make sure that the doctor knows this is what you'd like to do before attempting it and keep track of your ovulation so you can confirm a pregnancy quickly and get a confirmation of an IUP quickly or if it is in the tubes again things can be protected. Happy Thanksgiving, may you have many blessings.

To me it sounds like you're not having trouble getting pregnant but in sustaining your pregnancies. You need to find out why you are miscarrying. I dont believe you have to go thru IVF. I was 40 trying to concieve baby number 2 and had two miscarriages. Two RE's told me donar eggs were my only option. I finally went to see Dr Mary Wood Molo out of Rush and she told me that I was not "infertile" - I was obviously getting pregnant but that I was miscarrying. She put me on prometrium and va laaa I got pregnant first try and have a beautiful, healthy boy. Please see her if you can - she is a miracle worker - I would highly recommend her. She is not all about IVF and upping her statistics which I think alot of fertility places are.

So sorry for all you've gone through. I was pregnant three times last year without success so I can kind of empathise. We still would like to try again but in the back of my mind I think I'm afraid to get pregnant again because of the outcome. We've never tried the IVF or any of that so I can't give you advice on that. I would just like to say you're not crazy for wanting to try again naturally. It doesn't seem like getting pregnant is the problem. Maybe just relax, not think about it, not prevent and see what happens. Wishing you all the luck in the world!

If you can afford it, hire a surrogate to carry your baby. Maybe the RE can point you to an agency. Otherwise, go on the web. I went through 10 transfers without success. When I got down to the final few embryos I hired a surrogate who carried 2 of my children for me!

after 2 miscarries and a stillbirth at 5 months... I too was told that my first husband and I are not genetically compatible. I too tried IVF and it did not work. I donated the rest of the viable Embryo's to science. I am not under the belief they are alive yet. After divorcing my husband for non-child producing issues. I re-married. My current husband and I have the exact opposite problem, we keep having kids! I am scheduled for a tubal in January. So you just never know, if your religious you could say that the deity has something different instore for you and these sad happenings are for a reason. If your not, then you can say its fate, and that this is the way nature intended that you and your husband do not produce a child. Maybe there is a reason other than science and its time to consider adoption or try naturally. I am sure you have heard a million stories of how these people do that and those people do this. My Aunt, bless her soul, was the sweetest lovingest person in the world. All she wanted was to raise a family. She got married and right off she had a baby girl. After R was born, she tried desperately to have more, after, get this.... 9 miscarriages, 2 of which she almost died from, 2 still born sons, and 2 etopics, she got pregnant with her 2nd daughter at 45. The baby girl N was born healthy and happy. R was already 20 and getting married. In 2 more years R would be told she can NOT have children naturally or at all. At 15 N had to have an emergency Hysterectomy, she also was diagnosed with Crohn's. At 17, N was bringing in horses into the barn and collapsed. CPR was done for an hour but she was pronouced dead. She was found to have weak artery walls and died of acute Pulmonary Edema. No one said anything about maybe it was this or that, I think we all kinda guess maybe my Aunt should not have had children at all.
Your frozens can be donated, they can be stored for some time, or they can be surrogate... I would suggest surrogate. The more you try for your own, the more your uterus will be scarred and your fallopian tubes damaged. Just try to remember that if it happens it was meant to be, if not there is a true reason why.

Sorry you had to go through all that. When you have a frozen transfer , you don't have all those drugs to stimulate you. I would try the frozen transfer . They should only transfer 2 or 3 so you would have enough to test later. 22 is a great amount of eggs so you have alot left . If your embryos are strong enough they should make it with proper monitoring and meds. With a fresh start and not all the complications from overstimulating you could have a completely different outcome. Also, do you really like/trust your doctor. I loved mine . We have twins after 2 rounds of IVF. What ever you do , take a break from it and spend some time with the hubby and family/friends. You will get there. Hang in there=)

You don't say how old you are, but the risk of miscarriage increases after 35, and every year after that. In your 40s it's very high due to having older eggs that are less likely to be chromosomally normal. If you are over 40 I would not have them tested. You can pretty much be sure it's genetic abnormalities in the egg. If you are under 40, I'd have them tested, because if you're going to go through with a transfer, you do want to know which ones are normal. Even between 35 and 39, many women no longer have any good eggs. (sorry to be forthright, but after my nightmare trying to conceive in my 40s I feel the need to urge younger women everywhere to hurry up and try to conceive as soon as possible - I saw many women on forums who were 35-39 and no longer had any good eggs).

Have you had you thyroid level tested? Your TSH should be between .3 and 3.0. I had multiple miscarriages and the only thing I hadn't been tested for (because my first RE said my insurance probably wouldn't cover it) was antithyroid antibodies. My TSH was high and my RE never said a damn word. She thought normal range was under 5.0, which is the old range previously recommended. AACE updated this range around 2002 or 2004 to .3-3.0. (which I found out by doing my own research) My general physician saw that my TSH was high for someone trying to conceive and put me on synthroid. My new RE tested my for the antibodies (yes it WAS covered by my insurance) and I did have them and they were quite high. He said this is what was causing my miscarriages. Unfortunately there is no confirmed treatment for this although there is some correlation to taking selenium which can help improve (i.e.lower) the number of antithyroid antibodies. At that time, I was already doing donor eggs and just decided that since my likelihood of carrying to term was slim to none, I'd move to adoption (currently on adoption waiting list). Anyway, definitely find out what your TSH level is. If it's over 3.0, insist on getting onto synthroid and don't spend money in ttcing until it gets under 3.0. If it is high, also get tested for the antibodies. If they are present, that is the likely cause of the miscarriages.

I am sorry that you have had such a terrible time with your miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies. Yes, IVF presents many bioethical issues, so you might want to Google the topic "bioethics frozen embryos" to see what thoughts are out there.

ETA: I don't know if you have any particular religious affiliation, but if so, perhaps you could speak with your church's pastor for guidance. I am Catholic and I know that the Catholic Church has examined this issue in depth.

I have a friend who's situation is very similar to yours. She has a daughter who is 3 1/2 and had been trying for #2 for a while. She had 4 miscarriages and then went to IVF. She did the genetic testing on her embroys...only three of her 12 were good. She had one of the three put in and is now almost 20 weeks pregnant. :)

I know the extra testing is expensive but to avoid anymore miscarriages...it seems worth it. Emotionally she was a wreck.

Good luck to you!

I am very sorry for what you have been through. It is so hard.
I have 3 children through ivf - 1 is from a frozen embryo. I am not sure what dr you are using but I went to northwestern for my frozen cycle - had my embryos transferred there - because I too didn't want to do anymore drugs and most clinics want you to fit there schedule so you have to. At nw I was able to do it drug free. I tracked my cycle and went in for a teat to verify I had ovulated. Then they put the embryo back and I did opt to do progesterone but didn't have to. I also did acupuncture during both my fresh and frozen cycles and I do believe it made a difference for me emotionally and physically. If you want more info, I am happy to discuss.

With all that said, I would still think trying naturally makes sense too and perhaps just adding progesterone would help with the miscarriages.

Good luck with whatever you decide.