Trying for a Third Child

I know this sounds harsh, but I honestly believe that you should be very thankful for the three children you already have instead of focusing on the one child you dont.

I know some amazing people that can help you and have had great success. Please go to www.birthwell.com for my contact info. Looking forward to hearing from you, M.

Have you had a laparoscopy? 50% of women have endometrosis and do not know it. It can cause miscarriage and make it hard to get pregnant. My only other suggestion is to try and reduce stress.

Hi J.,
I'm so sorry for your losses. I partially agree with muck of the advice you've already been receiving. Perhaps your body can't take a third child right now especially if you work full time. However, if you and your spouse truly want another child, I suggest reading the book "The Infertility Cure" by Dr. Randine Lewis. She is an M.D. who earned a doctorate in acupuncture while studying in China. Very enlightening book and there is a website in there that you can contact and ask for a referral to an acupuncturist. Her book is amazing and she stresses how eastern and western medicine complement each other. Good luck whatever you decide.

talk to your doctor about your progesterone levels. Very important, I never knew about this until now (my third pregnancy), maybe that will help - best of luck!

(if your progesterone isn't high enough your body will miscarry, luckily we found out mine was extremely low and the dr. Gave me supplements, fortunately everything is fine now)

I am so sorry for your losses. I will try to make this brief. I went through infertility issues and saw one of the best docs in the biz. At 39 years old I had a healthy baby, and now she's a beautiful smart healthy 3 1/2 year old. So I learned a few things. First off don't feel too bad about your miscarriages, they are natures way of dealing with old eggs which produce embryos that may not be able to produce healthy babies. As we age, the number of healthy eggs we have diminish. Roughly speaking, at age 25, 75% of our eggs are good eggs. At age 40, 25% of our eggs are good eggs. So we have a lot of bad eggs at our age, some can still form into an embryo, but may result in miscarriage. Miscarriages that take place in the first trimester are often the result of these bad eggs. So, often it comes down to probability and statistics. Chances are, if you get pregnant again, this time it will be a good egg! Given all that, the saying still holds true, "over age 35 years and not getting pregnant for six months, run don't walk to a fertility specialist". It's a good idea to start with your FSH test. It's a simple blood test that will give you an idea of your follicle reserve, or how many good eggs you have left. Also, good idea to get your other hormones checked as well, progesterone, and estrogen, etc. If you need docs names and numbers email me back. But you did have two successful babies, so chances are you're still in pretty good shape : )

I am not sure what area you live/work in but there is an amazing nutritionist, Haylie Pomroy. She specializes in working with women and men for a nutritional aspect to get there bodies ready to conceive. Check out her website www.Hayliepomroy.com. She has offices in Burbank, Beverly Hills & Calabasas.

I am glad to hear you are seeing a acupuncturist they can really help. I work with a acupunturist who specializes in fertility issues and works very closely with IVF doctors.

Hi J. - Call 800-942-1260 and press option 2 and then option 2 again. You'll hear a doctor talk on a positive pregnancy study with some insights that may help you.
Then check http://www.juiceplus/com/+cc42230. It's not going to make you get pregnant overnight, but with consistent use it will help your body function better and be stronger to support a healthy pregnancy, in addition to many other long term health benefits. Good luck!

My husband and I tried for a long time too. Herbs and an acupunturist are great for YOUR body, but probably not the best enviroment for conceiving. Just try to focus on other things for a while and usually when you have given up it happens.

At 35+ we're still young, but our eggs are quite old, biologically speaking. It sounds like you have a beautiful family -- blessed with far more than many. So many women can't conceive at all. And though we hope for the best, it's important to consider what a special needs child would do to your existing brood before proceeding with treatments. Could your marriage, finances, emotional state survive it? I've seen marriages implode from the stress of it all. Maybe you should sit down with your husband and ask him exactly why he wants another child. It may be for reasons that can be addressed without a pregnancy. But good luck whatever you decide!

You might want to add drinking red raspberry leaf tea 2 times per day to your regiment. This particular tea is really good for "toning" the uterus and reproductive system in women. Also, a little more "down" time for you - maybe some yoga or just some "quiet" time for 30 minutes a day. De-stressing can do wonders! :) good luck and best wishes. R.

I had a miscarriage prior to my 2nd baby, it occurred at 6 weeks. I really feel for you and your husband. The MAIN THING is that you both talk with each other, bond, comfort, and be there for one another. Sometimes, a person will withdraw when things like this happens. And, just make sure you both don't "blame" yourselves or each other. This is a tender time.

Be sure to take folic acid and the usual vitamins that is prescribed pre-pregnancy. Make sure also, that your OB/GYN says it's "okay" to get pregnant after so soon afterwards. My OB recommended waiting 6 months, post-miscarriage to try again. The body needs time to readjust.

As you probably know, even "stress" can affect a person's chances of conception. I know, it's hard and emotional. But just a general FYI.

Be EXTRA sure, that the herbs you are taking are okay. Sometimes, if taken in wrongly, perhaps it can increase miscarriage. Even coffee is not recommended when pregnant after all, for example.

No matter what, I would consult your OB/GYN, and make sure all is okay physically as well.

For me, I was able to get pregnant naturally after my miscarriage, while I was 40'ish. The main thing is my OB said you can never predict what will happen... but have faith and take care of yourself. Be safe with what you take in and ingest. Perhaps, use the time to have special moments with your hubby... get a babysitter, and relish the "solo" time you have together... reconnect and makes dates together....it may help with the stress and pressure of trying to conceive.

Keep faith and stay strong with yourself and Hubby. It's nice you have a husband that cares so deeply.
All my best to you both, and take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Hi J.,

I'm so sorry for your losses. The first thing that comes to mind is to ask you if you are with a fertility specialist. This is really important as there may be some tests that you and your husband should be doing. Second thing is watch the herbs. The less you put in your body the better (unless you've been diagnosed with something that requires the support of specific herbs). I'm not a doctor, just a woman who's been through quite a bit and has some knowledge in the area of trying to get and stay pregnant. Also, I teach yoga for fertility/pre & post natal so e-mail me if you're interested in taking some classes with me (either private or at my studio)____@____.com of luck.
A.

You and your husband should watch "The Secret". If you have seen it already watch it again!

Wow, sounds like you are all very busy. With 3 kids, both of you working, have you thought about being satisfied with what you've created already? I would love to have a 3rd, but husband's not sure. I stepped back and looked at my family (hubby and 2 daughters), and as much as I would love to have more children, I am completely satisfied with what God's given me already. It sounds like you have a full and thriving life, perhaps you could step back and enjoy that and see what life brings you. Many blessings!

All
I can offer is the name of an outstanding acupuncturist (who truly is much more)! Both my husband and I have often said she is a 'healer'. She uses so much more than traditional needles and although I have not worked with her on fertility, she has been able to help with things NO OTHER professional, traditional or otherwise, has been able to offer me success with!
Her name is Star; she is in Culver City ###-###-####.
Best of luck!
N.

If you are truly serious about having another child, I agree with the response that said run don't walk to an Infertility Specialist. I had a child at age 38, without any help, then immediately tried to get pregnant again. We tried for 3 years before going to Reproductive Partners Med Group. We had 3 unsuccessful IUI's (artificial inseminations), 1 IVF resulting in a pregnancy which I miscarried. Then had another IVF using the leftover frozen embryos & got pregnant again. I just delivered, at age 42 1/2, a healthy baby boy (amazing, even after being frozen!!!). I wish I hadn't waited so long before seeing a specialist but am truly blessed at the outcome. It was a lot of work, not to mention the expense, but well worth it. Best of luck to you!!!

hi

You answered the question yourself.
You work full time and have a pretty busy schedule.

Maybe try doing less is the first step towards getting ready to be a new mom. the fulltime and pretty buzy environment doesn't send a safe pregnancy message to your body to sustain a pregnancy.

That is my first idea about that.

M. G

"I work full time and have a pretty busy schedule, I had my last child when I was about 36, I have had two miscarriages since."

What I am reading is you do not have the time or energy for another child... your body is not supporting your efforts, so make some choices, stop living as you are, focus on another child, or adopt. Sounds like reality to me.
E. H

Be sure that your doc. monitors your progesterone very carefully and often. I had three miscarriages between my first and second children, all beteen 9 & 11 weeks.

What finally changed things was my new doc caught that my progesterone dropped a significant amount one week - not so much as to be out of the normal range, but significantly. She got me on progesterone suppositories immediatly and I delivered a healthy girl at 40 years old.

Since you have a history of miscarriage ask your doc to check you one a week from week 4 - 7 to get you thrugh your rough patch. Even better, you are "of an age" that you should be able to be referred to a specialist who will monitor you more carefully. I saw my specialist once a week for the first 12 weeks and then she sent me back to my OB.

Get your thyroid checked. Hypothyroidism is extremely common after age 35, and can cause multiple miscarriages. It can also cause mental retardation in any child that does make it. I had multiple miscarriages which puzzled the doctors until at age 35 they found that I had a goiter and wasn't making enough thyroid hormone. 3 months later I was pregnant with twins. They tested my thyroid hormone every single week, and thanks to a totally safe synthetic thyroid hormone called Synthroid, I have 2 very healthy little boys. Good luck!

I have a friend who went had trouble conceiving in her late 30's, so she & her husband went through invitro. About 2 yrs. before this, she changed her diet dramatically though. She had a little girl in Feb. 07 & now is pregnant (naturally) with her 2nd (surprise!). She believes that by changing her diet & adding a whole food nutritional product called Juice Plus+ that her body's immune system & cell health is what made the difference in her body's ability to conceive naturally. I think that along with the other things you are already doing, that I would consider incorporating this product into your diet. It has been published in 12 medical journals & has been backed by some very prestigious doctors (example: Dr. William Sears (pediatrician & health editor of Parenting & Baby Talk magazines - www.askdrsears.com). You can view the medical research & doctors at www.juiceplus.com/+sc57599.

Good luck!
S.

I haven't read any responses yet, but have you had your progesterone levels checked? They are needed to sustain a pregnancy and I had severe cramping and spotting in the early months because I am chronically low in this hormone.

It will happen.
At 37, my husband and I were trying for #3 also. I miscarried at 7 weeks both times. About 10 months later, we finally conceived and I'm due in June. My husband has always had a level head about everything that has happened and I think that's the key. Believe it will happen and it will.
good luck

A lot could have to do with your diet. Make sure that you are skipping the fast foods, eating whole grains, lean meats and fresh fruits and veggies. Also, you should be taking a good multivitamin... not one from say Walmart or CVS or something like that. Check with your chiropractor or you can email me. I'm a vitamin consultant and can help you. Make sure you're getting rest and exercise as well. A healthy body is part of how well your body can conceive.

Hi J.,
I'm so sorry about your miscarriages, but I must ask...why the urgency to have another child when you and your husband are blessed with two sons and a daughter already? You did say you're 41, work full-time and already have a busy schedule, will you cut out work and stay home full-time to care for a new baby? You already must have your hands full with an 8 year old and a 5 year old. Many women are able to have healthy pregnancies even up to 45, although that's pushing their physical limits. There are risks not only for you but mostly for baby for women over 40. Your husband should turn his disappointment for the unknown into the real joy of having his 8 and 5 year olds, as well as his older son. Your children will be filled with so much sports, school, and other activities it might make your head spin, imagine another little one! If it's God's will for you to have another child, it will happen...and it'll happen naturally, not forceably. If it doesn't happen, just focus all of your love and attention into the perfect family of 5 you already have!

J.,

You may want to see a reproductive endocrinologist to make sure that your hormones aren't out of whack. I don't know what sort of herbs you are taking but many are dangerous during pregnancy. I'd definitely make sure your OB knows what you are taking.

I'm an older mom too and I've had several miscarriages. My doctor told me that most early miscarriages are because of genetic defects in the baby and that the risk of genetic defects increases with your age. So as absolutely heartbreaking as miscarriages are (and I find them absolutely devastating), they are unfortunately part of the program with trying to become a mom at our "advanced" ages. All you can really do is 1. make sure your hormones aren't out of whack (hence the reproductive endocrinologist) and that you are otherwise healthy 2. keep trying.

Good luck! I hope your next pregnancy is a success.

:-)T.

I have 3 sons ages 7,10 and 12. I want another baby also. But I am 40 years old now. But I have never had a miscarriage and am sorry for your losses. I would like to try but I would be devastated if the child was handicapp. Good Luck to you. Trying is always fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi J., I am sure you hve heard, the older we get the greater the risk when having a baby, at 41 you are at higher risk, have you and your husband thought about adoption, J. even if you are sucessful at a full term pregnancy, after 40 you are at risk of having a down syndrome child. Sounds like you have been blesed with a wonder family. Two misscarriges in 9 months is a lot of ware and tear on your body. I wish you well in what ever you decide. J.

Talk to your doctor about progesterone....I had several miscarriages...when I changed doctors and became pregnant again - she put me on progesterone immediately when I found out I was pregnant - had two beautiful babies as a result!

Your story (minus the herbs & acupuncture) is the same as a girlfriend of mine from last year. 2 or maybe 3 miscarriages over the course of several months while trying for their second baby. She is now 7 or 8 months pregnant and her doctor gave her supplemental hormones to help her keep the baby. Maybe ask your doctor.
She hadn't experienced much morning sickness or fatigue with the first pregnancy or with the ones she miscarried but with the hormones she did. The reason I mention it is because I had been telling her that maybe she was doing too much and not listening to her body and lying low for the first few months while the baby gets settled, but her budy never swept her off her feet like those of us who feel too sick and tired to carry on in the first months.

Hope any of this helps! GOOD LUCK to you!

G.

Have you thought about seeking the advice of a professional like your OB or maybe even a reproductive endocrinologist?

Just a thought.
G.

Maybe the two of you could focus on the blessings that you have? 2 healthy children, a boy and a girl? Plus the step? So many couples can't have any children and you've been blessed with the dream of one of each!! Be happy and focus your energy on them!!
C.

hi J.......I am very sorry to hear of your recent miscarriages,it is not easy and effects the whole family.my advise to you is to relax and get rid of negative thoughts.if miscarriage is about to occur,usually you can't prevent it.however,you may be able to decrease your chances of having a recurrent miscarriage by :
1-taking good care of yourself,eating healty diet,exercising regularly,avoiding alcohol/smoking.
2-start taking prenatal vit with 1 mg of folic acid at least 3 months prior to your next planned pregnancy.
3-avoid pregnancy for 6 months post miscarriage to let your body recover from previous loss.
4-once you get pregnant you can ask your ob/gyn if he recommend progestrone treatment.
you also need to know advance maternal age increases chance of abnormalities and complications.I wish you and your family the best...good luck.

I've heard that doing a low carb diet can aid in getting pregnant. I have several friends that are trying this and their doctor's suggested it.

I think you are doing all the right things....also because of your age you may want to see a fertility specialist. Also be thankful for the 3 wonderful children that you already have..you are already blessed

Try Master Zhou he does Qi Gong specializes in female problems. A little pricey but worth it!!###-###-#### speak with Julia and tell her Penny sent you and tell her what your problem is and she will advise you. Good Luck

I had a miscarriage before the birth of my third child. He is multiply-disabled and the light of my life. BUT a big commitment as a mother- I had to put aside my job and busy schedule to insure the best start at life for him. Being 'not so young anymore' myself, I wanted to make you aware of that possibility. Trying to become pregnant again at your age/possibily even if your husband is older too (not a cause but a correlation with many congenital disorders)is a big decision and a big responsibility. I know this isn't what you want to hear but just wanted to make sure you consider this fact. May God bless you and your family!

It may just be your age that is affecting your ability to carry a pregnancy. Remember that miscarriage is your body's way of not allowing an embryo to grow that isn't developing properly. I know it can be sad, as it has happened to me, but a good way to think of it is that your body is equipped to foster healthy pregnancies and reject ones that are not quite right.
After age 35 the risk of birth defects rise significantly, and every year the risk increases. Your body may just be telling you that your family is complete.

J.,
I would recommend getting your hormones checked. Go see a naturopathic Dr who will check more than just TSH for thyroid. There are many other thyroid indicators and mainstream Dr's don't check them. You want to know T3, T4, T3 uptake, free T3, TSH. You'll also want to check estrogen, estradiol, progesterone, cortisol, etc. Those are done with a saliva test. Hormones play an important role in getting pregnant and staying pregnant - and not just the sex hormones.

Good Luck!
D.

Hello J.,
Let me begin by saying I am sorry for your losses. I know how hard they are Believe Me. After 4 miscarriages in a years time, my husband and I did not know what to do. Doctors said I was perfectly fine and that my miscarriages were just due to a stroke of bad luck. Yeah, some bad luck! "How could that be I am only 26 years old and in great health with no history of smoking, drinking, drugs etc. and am in perfect health?" I thought. We turned to accupuncture and herbs and were told to stick to the herbal and accu. treatment for at least 3 months before TTC. We did so and became pregnant for the 5th time. I began bleeding at the beginning at 6 weeks once again and called my accu in a panic. THey had me come in for a regime of intensive treatments every day for a week and drink herbal tea till I was well into my 2nd trimester. With these treatments and a lot of love and faith in God we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl this past January. Don't give up hope. Beautiful gifts come to those who wait. Some of us just wait much longer than others and go through more struggles, but it is my opinion that because of our struggles we appreciate the prize (our darling children) all the more. Take care and God Bless you and your family. You will be in my prayers.

I know how you feel--I had miscarriages between my first two daughters and we had tried years to get pregnant the first time and then five years more for the second. It did finally happen--but older women kept telling me that miscarriages are not unusual and that I should do whatever I could to relax--since high stress can affect your hormonal balance. (Hence the suggestions some have made about progesterone creams--sometimes that is definitely helpful, though I ended up not needing it).

Well, after the second one came, we had our "two" and were "done." Probably for the first time ever I really relaxed about things because I knew I didn't have to try anymore. And wham. Surprise--a beautiful, perfect number three at the age of 42.

If you've been pregnant before, it will happen again. Just take care of yourself, and try to limit the stress.

Hi, I had 2 children and then tried for my 3rd for 2 years, during that time I had 3 miscarriages, my ob for the first 2 times told me to have faith etc but I knew that he should have done blood work or something. I went to a new dr who did blood work and looked for something called METHFR, which I wound up having which causes blood clots and miscarriages. I was then told that when I tried again and found out I was pregnant I was to immediately take baby asprin. A month later I got pregnant and took the baby asprin and now have a beautiful boy. I too had tried the herbs and accupuncture and while it was nice, it did not help because I had this blood problem. Good Luck

J.,
You might want to consider having the OBGYN check your Progesterone levels. At 41 I think it should still be optimal for having a baby. You obviously don't have any problem conceiving, there seems to be some problem with continuing a pregnancy. Maybe your OB doctor just needs to give you progesterone shots or something. I would start investigating that possibility!!! Don't give up hope and never underestimate the power of a heartfelt prayer. Children are God's most wonderful gift to us. I understand your loss. I have been blessed with seven children, however I have lost 2 babies to miscarriage. God is good....All the time!!!!!!

I don't relate personally to your story but I have had 2 friends and have heard of a few other women who had repeated miscarriages. All of these ppl that I'm talking about tried the more natural route and had their hormones tested. All of which learned that their bodies are not making nearly enough progesterone. They all did bioidentical hormones and had no problems carrying the baby full term. Progesterone is an extremely important hormone our bodies need to carry a baby full term. If we don't have enough progesterone in the first trimester the Uterus can't support the baby. You might give this a try..find someone who will test your progesterone levels and give you a prescription for bioidentical hormone creams. Maybe look up online about the importance of progesterone during pregnancy. This is all I know to suggest. OH! I almost forgot, I also understand that if you have a stressful busy life, your body will burn through it's progesterone sources much faster. My one friend was on progesterone and still felt pretty crappy, when she was retested her levels were still low and her natural doc explained that stress will use up the progesterone faster. She increased her dose and is doing fantastic now.

Hi I am 42 and had my fifth baby last year, and intend more:)

Before my first son was born, I had 2 misses.

I found something that fixed my problem by chance.

I was attacked by a robber in NY after my misses, and had to see a chiopractor to heal from hitting the ground. After the x-rays the Dr asked me if I had trouble staying pregnant...I had not told him anything. YES!
He explained that my pelvic bone was leaning on my utherus and as the baby grew it ran out of room, and my body would expel it to save it from misforming.

3-6 months of adjustments placed my hips and pelvic in to the place they needed to be normal...and off we went...that was 15 years ago,,,and the problem never returned.

Could it be maybe you have had an injury or hard fall or long hours in bad body positions since your last term?

Get an x-ray :)

I had a similar experience, and am 40 now with a one year old. I went to a naturopath and needed progesterone cream and also went to an accupuncturist that was amazing. I took a baby asprin a day too and got on some herbs. I realized I was miscarrying almost monthly after charting. Once I got my cycle on schedule and was charting I finally got pregnant and it stuck. Good luck to you. It is such an emotional roller coaster, we tried for two years and were going to stop when I turned 39 and I got pregnant two months before and now have a little one year old boy. Hang in there. Also, I got on a fertility charting sight that was great and got some charting books.

B.