My mom nipped this in the bud 2 ways.
First she promised us "IF we told the truth she would not be mad. She might be disappointed or hurt, but not mad and we would not get in trouble if we told the truth." She has kept this promise even today..
The other thing is she quit asking who did so and so..
Instead she would say, to whoever was closest to her, L., flush the toilet, someone forgot to flush.
L., please put the cap back on the milk.
We actually broke a very fancy candy dish one day. When our mother got home my sister and I said, "we need to tell you something.. We broke the candy dish in the living room".
She asked "how did that happen?" We told her "we were throwing a ball around in there". We promised we would never do that again and we felt really bad about it.
She thanked us for being honest and told us, she really did not want us playing around in there. That was the only room that had special items that if broken, she could not replace them. But not to worry about the candy dish.. she had never really liked it anyway.
She reminded us, she just wanted the truth. We needed to work together.
Interruptions is what drives kids crazy. So instead of asking who did..
Call them all together EVERYTIME and say, ok, the toilet was not flushed so (whoever was the last to get to the group) flush the toilet.
Call them all together.. OK, this chair is broken Give a speech about how if we continue to break the furniture we cannot afford to replace it and no more extras will be purchased till the money has been saved to replace it. have the last kid that showed up to this gathering take the chair out to the trash, garage.. whatever. Maybe have another child research how much it is going to cost to repair or replace the broken item.
Make sure over time each child has had to be called upon.
If they begin to balk.. Let them know.. "I just need to know the truth. If the perpetrator will admit the truth.. I will not always have to gather you together each time. "
Just a suggestion.
