Does Anyone Else Have (Or Had) a Socially Awkward 5 Year Old?

This takes experience. If you guys aren't involved in play dates and social activities where she learns to interact with others then she's going to be backwards for a while.

Most kids come out of this stage and have friends they'll have through elementary school by the beginning of 2nd grade.

It sounds like she's a little more immature than some others - but that is ok! All kids mature at slightly different rates. She will get there - and you may be glad she's not precocious when she's 13...

In the meantime, set her up for success. What I mean by that is this: you say she does well in settings with physical activity. So, do less of things like the Daisy troop (which will be a lot of sitting and chatting) and do more of the things that play to her strengths. Let her try gymnastics, dance, soccer, softball, ice skating, etc. That will put her in social situations with other kids her age in an environment where you know she is more successful in her interactions.

i think you're way over-thinking this.
she's 5. she's not supposed to have finely honed social skills yet.
the only way this would be a concern for me would be if SHE were worried about it, but she's doing exactly what most 5 year olds do- joining in and chattering in her own style.
who cares if she's adroitly on topic, or if another (little, 5 year old) girl gave her a look?
your daughter enjoys school. she says she has friends. her teacher says she's doing fine. she has no problems popping herself into the 'little cliques', whether or not she's a perfect fit, and why would you want her in a clique anyway?
i gently suggest that your anxiety over this could translate negatively to her. let her be her own happy self, and if she occasionally gets perceived as weird or doesn't get included, celebrate her individuality with her instead of skewing it to the negative side.
honestly she sounds pretty terrific to me.
btw, we get it that DD means dear daughter. your propensity to over-explain actually speaks volumes.
khairete
S.

She just sounds young and quiet, nothing wrong with that. But, as another poster below notes, I would strongly encourage you not to try to fit a square peg into a round hole. If Daisy Troop highlights your daughter's "weaknesses" - no more Daisy Troop! Try ballet class, art class, gymnastics! All people mature as they get older, in one way or another. You will be amazed at how much your daughter changes from one year to the next.

She's extremely young, and many of the kids in her class may be 6-12 months older. That's a big range. She's only been in kindergarten for a few months - so give her time.

The teacher says she has friends, so I'd relax. If the Daisy thing doesn't seem to be a good fit, then try something else. Try really, really hard not to compare her to others in the family! While looking at her "deficiencies" you are missing all her positive attributes and abilities.

I wouldn't waste time trying to decide if she's on the spectrum, especially since none of the professionals see an indication of that - we are quick to reach for a diagnosis when sometimes kids just need to time to develop into who they are and want to be. It's a time to explore and experiment - let her do that.

I'd caution you about yearning for her to be a part of a clique! If you look at a zillion questions & responses on Mamapedia, you'll see that cliques and exclusion are far more of a problem than an asset. You'll also see a lot of questions about parents being heartbroken over something like the "tickling" remark you mention. Who knows what your daughter was talking about? Maybe someone else said something a minute earlier and she thought about it, then came out with her comment. It could be anything. But let it go and move on. We just can't get heartbroken every time our kids say something that's a bit on the clueless side.

You say your daughter has made great strides in a smaller environment, so kindergarten's larger class is a big adjustment for her. It can be so overwhelming for so many kids. I'm sure she's not alone in this regard. She's progressed before, and she'll continue to progress. Look at some small group settings now and then for her - maybe the library story hour or art class would be better for her. Don't over-enroll her though - too much scheduling is a problem (ask the teachers). But a once-a-week program for an hour might be fun.

Meanwhile, encourage your daughter to seek out another quiet kid or notice the child who is sitting alone at lunch or not engaged on the playground - that's the child she should be drawn to for one-on-one interaction.

And to save time, we do use abbreviations like DD for daughter and DS for son, DH for husband, MIL for mother-in-law, and so forth - so you don't need to explain your abbreviation every single time for us.

You mention being an older parent. I'm not sure how old you are, but I was quite a bit older than my kid's friends' parents, and my husband is 4 years older than I am. It's okay! You can still connect with other parents in your child's school (far more are older than you might imagine) and many of us here are giving advice from back when our kids are little. Your friends may have more input than you think even though their kids are older - and you don't want to compare anyway. Sometimes hearing that things worked out just fine for others' kids who were a lot like your daughter can help you feel more confident.

A.,

Welcome to mamapedia!! We know what DD means - thanks for clarifying it.

You are way over thinking this and being hyper critical of your daughter. You need to relax and let your daughter be a child.

What can you do in the mean time? You can have friends over to your house - YOUR FRIENDS - and have your daughter around so she can see you interacting with people and you will be her role model.

May I ask why you are soooooo intent on having your daughter labeled? Let her be a child!! My God - she does NOT need to be like everyone else!! Let her be HER!!! Stop taking her to the doctors to find out if she's OKAY enough for you!! Do you NOT think she's caught on that you don't think she's "RIGHT"? CHILL MAMA! CHILL!!!

Stop comparing her to others.
Stop looking for a label for her. She's your daughter. that's your label for her! YOUR DAUGHTER. Love her unconditionally.

You don't like her social skills? Okay! Like I said - have YOUR friends over and interact with them so she sees YOU interacting. YOU are her role model. Stop looking to others to do it for you - YOU DO IT!

Keep in mind that your daughter is likely almost a year younger than many of the girls in her class. She might even be a full year younger than some of them. A year is a big deal at her age, and so much of kindergarten is social. I would really listen to what her teacher is saying. Kindergarten teacher know the importance of social skills at that age. They know that this is very new for many of the kids, so they are watching. They also occasionally move the kids to different groups if they think it will help.

Our son has a July birthday, and the cutoff for kindergarten in Illinois is September 1. We watched him carefully in preschool (2 years). At first, things were great and he seemed right on par with his peers. About halfway through the second year, it became very clear to me and to his teachers, that he was the youngest in his class and was having more and more trouble socializing with the other kids. He was simply too much younger than them, and it was a real struggle for him.

We made the decision to find another program for him and to have him begin kindergarten when he was 6. Best thing we could have done for him, as he is in 4th grade and doing great! We were very fortunate, as our school district offered "Transitional Kindergarten" for those who were old enough for kindergarten but not quite ready. I'm friends with several of the moms from that class, and to this day we all agree that that was the right decision for us.

I'm not suggesting you have your daughter repeat kindergarten (unless you and the teachers believe that is in her best interest). But I am reminding you that a year is a very big deal, and this might be a struggle for her for a little longer. She's younger than many of the other girls, and it might take a couple of years for her to "catch up."

I had concerns like you have. My mom was a kindergarten teacher her whole career. She would say "Does she/he like going to school?". Yes. "Is she/he happy?". Yes.

She'd say "So what's the problem?". Put things in perspective.

My kids are shy introverts. You can't compare your daughter to social butterflies. She's not the same. Over time, she will find little pals - it just happens. Trust me. You will see a big difference by the end of this school year. You saw a huge change in preschool - you will in kindergarten too.

I doubt the kid thought "weird" to your daughter's remarks. More likely she was thinking "huh".

If she's not into Daisy Troop stuff, maybe try soccer, etc. It's kind of trial and error when finding them things to try. The clique thing can be there - I've just switched places if I found one place wasn't a good fit for my kids. Something else will be :)

All 5 yr olds are socially awkward.
Some just hide it a little better than others.
Stop comparing her to her classmates, family members or anyone else.

Our son is an only child and he always considered himself to be another adult.
So while he had friends in elementary school - he really blossomed in middle and high school when kids in his age group matured a bit.
Every year at EVERY teacher conference at the 10 week point - we heard how quiet he was and how he needs to speak up in class.
His learning style is that he likes to watch how everything works before he's willing to join in.
Well, after that 10 week point was past - the teachers all had trouble getting him to shut up.

You've had her evaluated - so believe what they told you - she's fine and normal.
Not every child likes to run with a crowd.
Sign her up for taekwondo - I think it does every child some good.
Relax and enjoy your kid!

every child is different. my son is the youngest in his class. and he (now in first grade) is still a bit awkward. but not nearly as bad as when he first started kindergarten.. keep in communication with her teacher and as long as shes improving i wouldn't worry about it

At 5, I think she's a little young to label as "socially awkward." Enjoy your daughter's strengths, gently try to help her improve her weaknesses, and relax.

She's only in kindergarten.

She will get better at this kind of thing. My daughter also could be socially awkward with other girls...especially in preschool. She just was not as mature as them yet. My advice is to ask your daughter (or her teacher) which kids she likes. Invite one of these girls over to your house for a play date. Do this every week with different kids. ONE kid at a time. If you are thinking of doing something fun like going to a kid movie...invite one of these girls (with or without their parent) to join you. This REALLY helped both my kids to develop their friendships and to bond better with other kids. When my daughter was younger I would be there to sort of listen in on the playdate and I could help her to interact better...for example in preschool I would sometimes have to get them started on a preschool aged board game or doing some art project. Now in 1st grade she and her friend immediately go into pretend play and I'm lucky to just get to hear them as they run through the kitchen!

Enroll her in a drama class. That will help her find her voice and get more comfortable speaking in front of groups. (My girls were in a program called Drama Kids when they were in kindergarten. Google it, I think it is nation wide and it was a fabulous, fun program)

Please can you break up your first part in paragraphs? It is hard to read.

Have you considered her having a play date at your house ...so she has oneo on one time ...