Does Anyone Else Feel Grouchy About Parenting?

i get that way too.

i feel guilty sometimes because i have way more days than i should that i hate being a mom. I am a stay at home mom as well and i get very overwhelmed taking care of my twin boys. It used to help me quite a bit to get out of the house and go to the mall and walk but some days that's more work than staying home and dealing with two very destructive boys!

I don't have any advice really but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. i love my boys to pieces but there are many many days when i wish i could just lay down and relax or get to do something i want to do and to do it by myself!

good luck.

Hi, K.-

I'm really sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. I'm a stay-at-home mom, too. I have an 18 month old daughter and am expecting another daughter in 4 short weeks. It is unarguably a very tough job taking care of two tiny little people who are so dependable on you. It drains your energy and takes a toll on your patience. Despite that, I love my "job"! I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Then again, it's a job I whole-heartedly asked for and my husband and I planned for. I don't know if that's the case for you.

And, even though I love it, that doesn't mean I don't lose my patience from time to time, and need a break away from the house and kids. (I also have 3 other kids that all live at home with us; ages 20, 18, and 15.) It is perfectly normal to feel the way you do from time to time. It's all part of being a normal, healthy human being. And it is also very important to do something -ideally- each day for yourself and no one else. However, I know first hand how tough that can be. Especially if you are exhuasted.

You didn't mention if you are in a relationship. If not, I really feel for you. I raised my first daughter alone. Talk about tough! NO breaks! Do you get any time out of the house with the girls during the day? That can do wonders for me by providing a change of scenery. Do you have friends that you can call and vent to when needed? That can do a lot, too to relieve some stress.

At the bottom of it, though, I'm inclined to suggest that maybe a visit to your doctor might be in order to see if it could be depression that you're suffering from. Depression doesn't have to just be feeling sad or down in the dumps. If you're feeling angry and resentful, those are very real feelings that can manifest themselves from depression. It would be a shame for your beautiful girls to suffer from your dark mood, but also just as big of a shame for you to continue to suffer. Please take some steps to help yourself. After all, no one else will, and you need to be around to nurture those precious babies!

Feel free to email me if you need to vent some more, or for anything else. I truly feel bad that you are feeling so rotten.

Take care-
T.

P.S. Many eons ago I was also into oil painting and have been missing it lately. I'm envious that you have your very own studio! Maybe I could watch your kids for a while, and you could re-teach me how to paint. LOL

You are not alone. I have been finding myself doing all of those things lately. I like to think that it's because we have been trapped inside for so long that now that it's March, I feel like it should be warm and sunny so we can go to the park and get out of the house.

My husband always says how he doesn't like his job and I always tell him that at least he gets to leave his job and go home at the end of the day. I am on-call 24 hours a day for exactly no pay. It's not what I would call the most fulfilling job in the world. You can do everything there is to do and no one says thank you. No one ever says "wow, that clean laundry and those clean dishes look great!"

This morning I was showered and dressed and doing my hair (it's long - it takes awhile) and my son was in the tub. I had to stop doing my hair to help him 3 times - my husband was laying in bed asking if I was done in the bathroom yet.

Yes. It does feel like I'm going crazy. I just try to eat my lunch as slowly as I can and read while I do it. I sometimes just lock myself in the bathroom after supper while the kids watch a show and just sit in the quiet for 30 minutes. I try to think about the way things would be different if we had moved somewhere else or if I was 25 living in NY or something else equally ridiculous and just get lost in a daydream - it helps... so far anyway... we'll see how it goes when it gets warm and green out.

K.,

As a mother of three grown children I can tell you that I remember very clearly that feeling. I always worked part-time but still every day with kids (especially winter) does seem so repetitive. You MUST

Oh my, I so feel your pain. I feel exactly the same way. Ive also wondered the same things (do I need meds, am I the only one) I do work one night a week to get out of the house and even that doesnt do much for me. I think it is very hard being a parent in Minnesota because you are stuck inside so much. It is so much easier when you can get out and just go to a park. It does get easier as they get older, because they are more independant. You can do more for yourself (and hopefully not feel guilty for it) I just told my husband last night that I need to go back to school just so I can feel smart again. The repitition of mom work is tough. I do try to get us out and do things just about every day. There are great moms groups out there. I belong to a mops group and love it because it does make me feel like I am normal. Plus the adult conversation is great. Good Luck to you-- I hope you can find what you need to keep your sanity.

The grass is always greener on the other side, because if you worked 40 hours a week outside of the home, you may be complaining that someone else is raising your kids, you're paying through the nose for daycare, and you'd still be tired!

Being a parent is exhausting. It's 24/7/365. I love my son dearly and don't regret a thing, but I was in my 30's when I had him, so I remember my "pre-mommy" days quite clearly. I laugh at the absurd amount of "free time" I had, and how carefree my life was.

I think that you should look into getting away from the kids bi-weekly or whatever works for you. There are other mothers who feel the same way you do--maybe you could work out a "kid swap" every other week and watch each other's kids while the other person gets out. Some churches offer an inexpensive "Mommy's Day Out" and many do not require you to be a member. Or maybe one Saturday a month you get out by yourself, and your husband and the kids spend some time alone together.

Caregiver burnout is real, and it has physical and emotional consequences. Take care of yourself.

I have 2 girls 7years and 5mos. and I get like this too but usually only under stress. It does help to have my oldest in school and have a routine and schedule.

When they nap you need to do something for yourself.

K.,
This is like the difference between the baby blues and post partum depression. Only you know how "normal and happy" feels to you. It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to someone about this...if it's just a rough patch, talking will help. If it's something more, a counselor can get you more help.

I have two boys: 5 and 3, and I feel that it does get better as they get older....but you're DEFINITLY not the only one cursing under your breath. Shoot....my kids are lucky that I only mumble it! You love your kids; I can tell from your post, and sometimes we all have to let off steam. Just don't let all those negative reactions be the only emotions that you have about your kids. Even if they can't hear you, YOU know what your saying, and negative thoughts feed more negative thoughts, and pretty soon they're the only thoughts you're having....and that doesn't help at all. Sometimes we just gotta reign it in and DECIDE to have good days.

Still, it's soooo tempting to run up to women who are "thinking of having a widdle baby" and WARN THEM of all the horror. THE HORROR! :O :)

You're gonna be ok, K.. I'm in your corner.

I was starting to feel that way, and i then decided to work part time. I found a job that was low key/ low stress/ and where I could have adult conversations. I am a happier person when I come home and now enjoy the time I have with them. They go to daycare only two half days which is great for play & social time for them.
I hope you can find something that works for you!

K.-
I felt exactly the same way you feel, then I got some serious help - mentally. It has helped out so much.

K.,
Thank you for your request and thanks to all the moms seconding your feelings! I completely know where you're coming from, and am especially feeling the squeeze right now, when the weather is unbearable and the winter will never stop. I agree with the mom who said being a stay at home mom in MN is especially tough. You will feel better once the weather's nicer and you and the girls can get out of the house! That being said, if you feel they are sucking the life out of you, you have to find a way to get that life back. If you could find a flexible day care, or a friend, who could watch the girls one day a week, you could send them there and spend an entire, uninterrupted day in your studio! Or, unless this will make you rip all the remaining hair out of your head, you could trade time with another mom, watching her kids one day while she watches yours another. Try to figure out a way to get some time back for yourself, without any kids around. It will be refreshing, rejuvenating, and wonderful. Best of luck to you,
Amy K