I'm currently about to enter my second trimester of my second pregnancy and in the past few days I have had this overwhelming bout of depression take over me. I don't know what to do. I never had any of these symptoms with my first pregnancy. All I seem to be able to do is cry and sleep. I know I have to eat and even though I don't feel like it I make sure I'm eating throughout the day. This wasn't a planned pregnancy but it's not an unwelcome one either. My husband works about twelve hours a day trying to support us and I'm working part-time, since the company I owned closed down back in September due to the economy. So money issues are on my mind all of the time. I do have a beautiful 20 month old daughter who absolutely is the reason I get up everyday, and I don't want her to see her mommy like this. I've neglected housework and barely have the energy to get up and shower if I don't have to go to work. My next doctor's appointment isn't until February 4th, and of course I'm going to talk to her about my issues but I just wanted to get some advice from anyone else out there who went through these terrible feelings. It's not so extreme that I'm having suicidal thoughts or anything...I love myself and my family way too much to ever think like that....I just can't seem to get happy. It's effecting my husband because he doesn't feel like he can help me and I keep telling him there's nothing he can really help me with if he can just be there for me and try to understand what I'm going through. I have a lot on my plate each day and I really can't afford to feel like this....I'm just lost as to how to make it go away and get back to the old me.
I just wanted to say thank-you so much to everyone who posted. I just sat here crying because of all of the overwhelming responses that made me feel so much better knowing that I wasn't alone. I did talk to my doctor about my options and I wanted to try and make things better myself before I decided to take any medications. I have taken medication for depression like issues before so I wasn't against it at all, I just wanted to try without them first. I have to say that things are much better. I've started trying to plan a night each week where it's just me and my husband spending time together. My mother also takes my daughter every Sunday now which gives me time to get things done around the house. I've started doing some meditation exercises and that's really helping. I'm going into my second trimester now so my energy has boosted some, and now that weather is getting a little nicer where I am I'm trying to get outside each day that I can with my daughter. Me and my sisters even took her to the zoo for the first time this past Sunday and it was great. I'm trying not to focus on the money issues so much and just pray that we will get through everything and it will all work out and be fine. But I just can't say thank you enough for all of your kind words. Thank goodness there is a place like this web site to turn to where I know I won't be judged and I will be listened to. Thank you all!!
Hi There,
I just want to say please do not listen to anyone who tells you to "snap out of it". If you're in a rut, then that's one thing. But, if you are experiencing any sort of clinical depression, know that it's a little more than just mind over matter. For me, it took medication, counseling and my personal will to overcome. Do what works for you. . . It has been over a year and I am now "normal again" no more meds or counseling. . . .
Oh K., I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. I went through post partum depression with both of my pregnancies. It was difficult, so I can imagine how you are feeling. I got through it with the help of my good friends and family. I just was honest with people, I told them how I was feeling and I got wonderful support. My sister spent alot of time with me and my kids, talked to me, insisted that I take walks outside and breath fresh air. If you can think of a trusted, loyal friend or family member, I would confide in them and ask for extra love. My sister really helped me just by coming over, eating with me, taking me outside of the house, socializing was really helpful.
Be sure to talk to your doctor, of course at your next appointment. Take care,
L.
Just an FYI: I have a friend who went through 3 pregnancies on antidepressants and all 3 babies were perfect. So, though it's generally avoided, it's not NEVER done.
Now, until you get in to see your doctor: few things can squelch the spirit like constant money concerns. It's draining! AND, you have hormonal stuff to consider too -- that may be one of the reasons for your funk. As far as worrying about money goes, the best thing I can offer is advice on ways to get the most bang for your buck. Visit couponmom.com for ways to save on grocery shopping. Know that there's always Angelfood Ministries if you guys get totally strapped. (and consider that you are blessed if you are not that strapped.) Clark Howard has a great website full of interesting ways to save money.
Reach out, if you can, to a friend (sister, mom) and just tell her how you're feeling and that you need a shoulder and an ear. And some help getting your house decluttered. A cluttered house (cluttered surroundings/environment) can make you feel defeated and build and build because the more you see it, the less you feel like you can tackle it, you know?
Good luck! You are NOT alone!
While you say that your depression isn't that bad, it must be bad enough that you're reaching out for help. I'm so glad that you have done that! Nobody should feel sad/depressed for days on end. Plus, pregnancy can make it worse over time. Please do talk to your doctor and/or check out the following website www.ppdsupport.org
There is a lot of great information there, and I know the lady who runs the whole foundation. She's wonderful and very caring. Don't let this get worse and out of hand. Take care of yourself while you can. I wish you all the best in the rest of your pregnancy and with your family!
On my 3rd pregnancy I went through this of just wanting to sleep but was working full time so had to deal with it. The most helpful thing was walking at least 30 minutes a day and limiting what I had myself obligated to do. Can the ONLine classes end soon? With a 20 month old and a part time job it sounds like you have a lot on your plate without the classes. Can you get hubby to assist in some areas?? Prepare simple meals, use as much paper plates, cups etc as possible. Keep houseshoes at the door to keep dirt from being tracked in to lessen the clean up. Only have 2 or 3 toys accessible for your baby as it will be less to pick up or have her pick up. Be sure she is in bed at least an hour before you where you have some time for yourself. Maybe hubby can help with this. Do your best to take care of you right now. Are you having lunch or coffee with a girlfriend regularly?? It helped me to have a friend to vent to. You will get through this. V.
Hi K.,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I went through the exact same thing with my second pregnancy. I would be on my way to work and would suddenly begin sobbing to the point where I couldn't stop and I had to turn around and go home. I was extremely short tempered with my three year old daughter and had absolutely no patients. I actually called my OB and moved my appointment up because I just felt so guilty about my relationship with my daughter. I had very bad PPD after her birth and never got any help, so this time around I wanted to be proactive about my depression, especially since I was experiencing symptoms early in my pregnancy. My doctor did end up putting me on a very low dosage of Zoloft, not that I think a drug is the answer to every problem, but it did help. I amso had to learn to ask for help from friends and family, which was quite a challenge for my very Type A personality-I always feel I have to do everything to get it the way I like it (AKA-control freak).Doing both of those things did help me work, I am a teacher who works full time, through my second pregnancy. After my second daughter was born I did have PPD again, although it was not nearly as bad as my first pregnancy. And even 8 months post-partum and have experienced a severe bout of depression, ever since the time my husband took a new job and started travelling about 40% of his work year. That was a huge adjustment for me, as I pretty much became a single parent, which I had not signed up for when I got pregnant. I have since then had my medication adjusted and started seeing a therapist, as well as talking to the counselor at my school. This has helped me tremendously. This depression really put a strain on my marriage, but once I talked to my husband and explained what I was going through things improved very quickly. Just know you are not alone, you are not the only one to go through this. Don't be afraid to ask for help and support, I personally think that helped me more then any medication, as I felt I had a little more control over the situation. Make sure you talk to your OB when you go again. One thing the counselor at school had me do was make a list of my support system (everyone that can help me in anyway) and I had to make a list of what makes me smile everyday about being home with my girls, my job, and my husband.
I hope things start to look up soon and just remember you are not alone. I am sending you lots of hugs.
A.
Hi K.,
I am so sorry to hear that you are going thru this. What do described, is what I went thru. I had a young daughter when i was pregnant and short tempered with her also. I would start yelling for no reason, then I felt so guilty that I would just start crying. I neglected everything, I work full time outside of the house (bummer) housework, you name it. I couldnt even bring myself to be intimate with my husband, I would pretend that I was sleeping.
I also had PPD with my first pregnancy. I think it took more effort to hide the fact that I thought that there was something wrong with me, and when I went in for my 6 week check-up, I let it all loose. I have a new obgyn for my 2nd one, and I told him about what I was feeling and what I was going thru, and he put me on a script for Zoloft.
If you have decent health insurance, you should check it out for any type of programs. I didnt even sign up for it, but my doctor had some nurse call me and all we did was talk. I'm glad I did this time rather than hide it.
I'm sure that there are some support groups, next time, talk to your doc, and the nurses and see if they can recommend anything like that.
I hope you feel better really soon. Remember you are not alone, if you need to talk, im just an email away.
K.:
It is not uncommon to have symptoms of depression at this point in your pregnancy, especially with everything else you have going on. That being said, I really think you need to call your doctor today and let them know what is going on. Don't wait until your appointment, get help sooner as it will be better for everyone. Good luck.
K.,
i just want to tell you to hang in there...i'm not a doctor...but i did suffer from post partum after my first child, and when i was pregnant with the second and third, had worries about stopping medication...(that i stayed on after the post partum was over)...talk to your doctor, there may be something you can take that is safe for your baby...that will help you to function for your little girl. and just remember that it is totally normal...probably hormonal...and it will pass...good luck!
What you are going through is common. During pregnancy it is not uncommon to have a vitamin D deficiency. Vitamin D will help improve your mood and energy levels. My doctor prescribed me to take 4-1000iu caplets in addition to my prenatal vitamins. I hope this helps, if not talk to your doctor they may recommend something different.
You doing great so far. At least you know there is something wrong. I went though the same thing. My boys are 14 months apart. The first one had colic for 6 months. When I was pregnant with my second, I felt the same as you do. Just like you are going to do, talk to your doctor. They should be able to recommend a therapist. I couldn't beleive it when they said they were making an appointment for me with a therapist. But it was a great experience. For an hour, I got to get everything (almost) off my chest. With her help, I was able to identify what was really bothering me. When I told my husband, he did everything he could to help. Good luck.
I would recommend relaxation techniques, through yoga. meditation, and exercise. I am sure that finding time for yourself is almost impossible but finding time is a must. I went to Gayle Rozintine, a counselor when I was pregnant, who stresses meditation, relaxation and breathing techniques. Her husband, Barry Rozintine is a phycologist who could help you with medical remedies that work best while being pregnant.
Hope this helps.
Just like to say that you can give yourself a break, be gentle with yourself. You may not have spots or be throwing up, but you are not feeling your best. Taking some time to do enjoyable things, let some things slide with the housework. Eat what is easy, you will feel better soon. Get some sunshine if it ever shines! Breathe, walk, rest. YOu've had a lot happen, and more coming, this is actually quite understandable and natural given your situation! Find people you can talk to, share your feelings . . . .isolation makes you feel even worse. Keep walking it out and you'll walk your way right out of this -- I've done it a couple times when things just seemed impossible -- without God's help and constant crying out for help, and friends who pray with me, it would have been so much harder.
S.
Hi K.,
How are you? First I want to say not to take any meds for depression during your pregnancy! Second, I myself have been like this and their come a point where you have to say, "SNAP OUT OF IT" and think about all the postives like for instance your daughter. Another reality check is to go and volenteer or go visit local shelters (homeless, abused people etc.) and it will force you to stop and think about all you have. And something else that has always brought me peace is to PRAY. Remember, you are of no help to anyone if you are in a distant depressive funk. Be strong sister!
Are you on Reglan (metoclopromide) for nausea by any chance? I was on this medication with my secon pregnancy and suffered severe depression until my doctor took me off of it. I am a nurse and have been giving Reglan to patients for years before I ever knew that depression is a side effect. If the depression is severe i wouldn't wait until your next appointment. Call your doctor immediately and see if they can squeeze you in. Mine was so concerned she saw me the same day. I was started on Prozac and taken off the Reglan. Just getting the reglan out of my system made I world of difference but my doctor kept me on the Prozac until my daughter was born then weaned me off. Remember to never stop an antidepressant all at once. I know everyone is cringing at the word Prozac but it worked wonderfully and my daughter was amazingly healthy with one and five minute APGAR scores of 9 and is now a thriving 3yo.
I certainly sympathize. Depression can reallly take a toll and makes caring for the rest of your family difficult. Please call your doctor and good luck!
I was the same way with my 2nd. I was crying my eyes at the doctors office because I was 15min late. The NP felt so sorry for me and we talked for a while. I was just so stressed out and hormonal. She put me on a low dose of Zoloft. It helped me a lot. A week later, I was at my monthly girls night out. Half of us was pregnant (I guess we drank the same water :) Anyway, I had brought it up to one of the other ladies and I was surprised at how many of us in the group had said they had to do the same. It made me feel soooo much better to know that I was not alone. So do not be afraid if that is what they give you. It is so much more common they you would believe. Women just never talk about it. Good luck to you and congrats on your future addition to your family.
Call my doctor (psychiatrist); she specializes in these kinds of issues: Angela Arnold, ###-###-####, ext. 4. I know you're in SC, but maybe she can refer you to someone. I wish you well and will pray for you.
i wonder if the book by Brook Shields (Down came the rain) may help. Progesterone (either the natural one at a food store, or a prescription) could be of help - or a good look at the hormones may help. I wish I could help more. J
I have suffered with depression for over 10 years. I also have a Masters degree in counseling, so feel I can give somewhat good advice! ;) First, be kind to yourself. Stress can play a major roll in depression. Make sure you make some time for yourself and some couple time with your husband (I know easier said than done)! Second, sleep is of the upmost importance! Not getting enough sleep and eating right can also majorily impact depression. Third, walk around the neighborhood with that beautiful baby! Getting outside and getting a little exercise has been shown to do wonders for depression. And finally, please talk to your doctor. If you are feeling like this you don't just "snap out it" like someone posted. If you could just "snap out of it" there wouldn't be any depressed people in the world! Medication is a choice that is up to you, but it is an option. Just make sure you discuss with your doctor ALL of your concerns about it. Finding a therapist may also help. It is always good to have someone to turn to and talk to! And of course other moms are wonderful sources of support and advice. I joined a moms group, which has been great. I have made new friends and have other kids for my children to play with. Maybe you can find a group in your area!
