Do You Work Around Babies Schedule or Do You Make the Baby Adust to Yours.??

I worked around the baby's schedule. I know it is hard to not do anything but be at home and constantly worry about naps but there a book out there called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Karp. His guidelines work and my son was a happier baby. My son didn't give up that second nap until way over 12 months old. Hang in there!

Personally, I don't understand why some people work around their kids schedules & naptimes....my babies all had to adjust to my constantly moving life. They have all done fine. In all actuality - I think it makes them less prone to whine & cry when you HAVE to go somewhere...they're already used to going places.....

Let me start by saying I have 6 kids that are all between 19 and 25 months apart and you have to work around them. I find I either run errands with them first thing in the morning (which rarely happens since I'm not a morning person) or I wait until hubby is home and I do things then (much better anyway because you get some alone time!)

As far as fun things, same rules apply. When it's warm out, we wake up and go outside, go for walks, or go to the park first thing. Come home for lunch and naps. Then we usually do some more things once the others are out of school before Daddy gets home. It has been 9.5 years since my first one was born, and sometimes it gets old being home so much, but if you have ever taken the kids out more than one day in a row without a nap, you learn it is much better to give them more sleep. You will like them SO much better LOL!!!

I am a slave to naptime, as well. It will be all to soon that they will be grown so I just figure staying home is what Im supposed to be doing right now in my life. However, we do have a structured routine at home with feeding and naptimes. When we do need to go out, there are specific times that its possible and times that its not. You are right, sleep is SO important to your babies...just look at what their bodies and brains are doing every day! A well-rested baby makes for a happy mom!
~L.

Keep doing what you are doing! Sleep is imperative to the developing brains of our little ones. Try not to look at it as being a slave to nap times, or working around their schedule instead of yours. Instead, just acknowledge that you have made the sleep that your little ones need a priority. I am in the same place that you are. I have a two year old and a 5 month old. The days can be long. However, I know that this will all be over soon and I will be wishing for the days of naps! Good luck and God Bless!

Oh my Yes -I couldn't agree more with the Mommies who advised you about routine , schedules and planning , planning ,planning ahead.
You know that babies need good quality rest and yes for a short time you will be tied to your children's needs.
I found that all of the babies I have taken care of did much better with a routine- the routine had to be broken sometimes -it was unavoidable , but over all things worked out better when everyone knew 'what to expect next'.
Soon I learned to plan my life around the needs of the children and life was much more relaxed.
Gee, being a Mommy is complicated, and only for the dedicated like the Mothers here .
I am so happy to know that our future adults are in such capable hands !!!

My take on this is that if your child is taking two naps a day i always tried to make sure that one of them was at home. As for the older child. Some days when erands needed to be done i would try to do them either before noon or after afternoon nap. I WOULD HAVE EVERYTHING READY TO GO SO THAT AS SOON AS THEY WOULD WAKE UP I WOULD GO. NEVER EVER WOULD I WAKE THEM UP UNLESS I NEEDED TO FOR A DR APPT. A BIG PART OF THIS IS PLANNING AHEAD, GOING SPUR OF THE MOMENT IS TOOO DIFFICULT. IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE FLEXIBLE, BUT ALSO THAT YOUR CHILDREN LEARN TO BE FLEXIBLE AS WELL. As they get older this gets easier.

I have worked around my daughter schedule and that seems to work best for us all; she is happier when she naps and knows what to expect; however there have been times when we get off schedule and she seems to roll with the punches. We are expecting #2 in September and I am going to schedule this baby as well, but I have no idea what to expect...time will tell. I believe in schedules, but you need to do what works for you and your family! Best of Luck! Keep warm!

Lisa,
My take on this is, I have to get my errands done, my cleaning, my cooking and laundry, I believe my kids need their naps (I have a 5 year old and 7 month old), but if I waited until they were ready, it just would not be a productive day. I run my household as it is a business, and it works for me. Sometimes I might have to grocrey shop a little faster, or not get everything I need right then, but it has to be done. Everyone is different, you have to do what works for you!

Ok I didn't look at anyone else's response so sorry if I'm just repeating something that has already been said. First of all WHERE did we EVER get the idea that BABIES should adapt to us?! Don't get me wrong at a certain age CHILDREN will and have to learn to obey rules and follow the social norms for their community however expecting a small child or infant to just 'go w/ the flow' is ridiculous and is not protecting or providing a safe environment or any regularity to your child's life. The cold hard truth is when your children are newborn till school age your life will and SHOULD revolve around them in terms of scheduling. That doesn't mean they should get whatever they want or that they should be 'expected' to intrude on adult time (wether it's between mom and dad or mom and friends ect..) it just means that a child should not be expected to keep an adult schedule - how insane is that?! You keep doing what you're doing and take your cues from your child. If your child needs a nap - then he needs a nap. No wonder the kids in America grow up so screwed up and killing everyone!! Geesh..

I worked and still work around my daughters schedule. If I don't we are BOTH miserable. And NO ONE like screaming kids in a store/the cleaners/where ever in public. Like another mom said. I would prepare to go as soon as my daughter was awake and functioning. And we don't stay out too long. (She is almost 4 so we CAN do all day things, but when she was younger I tried to limit it to 2 or 3 hours and no more.)
In time you littlest will not need the morning nap and things will get easier. However, you may need to call in help. Like have you other half watch the kids while you go grocery shopping (like on their day off). This little thing may help all they way around!
At any rate you WILL start to get your time back from the naps.

Hi Lisa, I learned that every kid is different and there isn't any set rule on how to make up the schedule. My neighbor used to wake up their child at exactly two hours of nap and off they went. When I tried that, my son cried for an hour and I had to hold him and then was cranky the rest of the day. I agree I would rather work around their schedule than have grouchy kids...good luck!

The answer to your question is both. The best way to get your children on the same schedule is to feed them at the same time and put them down foir a nap/rest at the same time. You may have to wait a little for one and be3 early for the other for awhie but the effort is woth it. Once they are on your schedule, you will find out that things are much easier. My third one rarely got all his naps in his bed - it never hurt him and he can still sleep anywhere - at 33.

When I had a baby and a toddler (they were born 2 years apart) the first couple of months were hard....but after that, the baby and toddler took afternoon naps together. I kept afternoon nap time sacred - we ALWAYS took that nap (both baby and toddler). This helped my kids tremendously - and yes, we did miss a lot of things (parties, play dates, etc.). However, my children now have great sleep habits and don't lounge and mope around - if they are tired, they take a nap. (My kids are now 5 & 7 with the 5 year old still taking an afternoon nap religiously).

As for the morning nap with the baby - it didn't really cause us to miss much because our friends had babies that needed those naps, and the friends without kids, or with older kids that didn't nap weren't ready to recieve us until later. Lunch time with a little bit of play followed by naptime at home worked for us. Good luck.

I have to agree with you on this one and not your friend. I have a 7 1/2 month old and I try to protect her sleep schedule as much as possible, which is sometimes challenging. She wakes at 7-7:30, first nap at 9-9:30 until about 10:30-11, second nap at 1-1:30 until about 2:30-3 and bedtime at 6-6:30. When she misses some sleep it is definitely noticeable. I read a great book about sleep - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - and I totally agree with it. I was also a nanny for many years before becoming a parent and saw first hand the damage that can be done by parents who do not put their child's needs first. Hang in there, you are doing the right thing. I know it is hard, believe me - I am struggling with the same thing and often wonder how it will work when we add another child to the mix. It seems to be especially hard at this time of year when we are so confined to the house. Remember, occasional disruptions are not such a big deal if there is a solid routine in place the majority of the time. If you are feeling especially stir-crazy, get out with the kids for a little bit and let the younger one sleep in the car or the stroller. Or maybe get a babysitter/grandparent to help out once a week so you can get out alone or with your oldest. Take care!

For the most part, I worked around my oldest's schedule. My daughter has to go around his. I try to nap every day at about the same time as life without a nap is hell for EVERYONE, and their little bodies need rest.

By far, I have adjusted to them, but sometimes things just have to get done.

I have been wondering the same thing, as I am headed toward the 2 year old and an infant situtation. I believe in working around their schedule - and have also always tried to move toward a consistent routine. We have really zoned in on the best nap time for our 1.5 year old. And things are just better for all of us when he gets that downtime, even if he spends some of it talking to his bear in his crib. But most days he will sleep for almost 3 hours. I don't know what will happen when his baby brother arrives in a few months but I have already spent enough time with our first to know that I am going to really need to keep his routine in tact.
Good luck!!

I don't know how others feel about this but I know that when my daughter was little (she is now 8)I made sure I worked around her schedule because if I didn't she was so tired it wasn't worth it. At the time you feel like you'll never be part of the "real world" again but it's not true. Soon they will be big enough to not take naps. Really they are little for such a short amount of time it will be over before you know it. Ever child is different but I just found mine did better at home. She is a beautiful, well adjusted and confident little girl. I just feel when we decide to have children sometimes things need to change in order to accomdate them. In the scheme of things they are with us a very short time. good luck.

I chose the middle ground. IF I need to get something done I do it, but if I'm making plans for pleasure then I work around my son's schedule. It is hard to enjoy lunch with a friend while your little one is screaming because they are tired. I think its good to get the kids knowing that when you have to go, you have to go. If children are to set into their schedule they don't adjust to the suprises of life as easily. Take the middle ground so you can still do things that need to be done, and save some of those scheduled times for something more enjoyable than a trip to the grocery store. You know you feel trapped at home when you find a trip to the grocery store exciting. If you have hit this stage may I suggest getting out for something more fun. Besides if you save the grocery trips for when you know the children are going to get cranky you will find you rush through the store for what you need and spend much less money.

You need to do what you feel is right. Both my girls would take naps in the car, however, there were also times where we would work around their schedule. I'm a firm believer that young children need naps - especially at that age. If she will only take a nap in her bed, then that is where she needs to be. Now, if you want to do something in the morning and your son will sleep in the car, then I would do it, but only if it doesn't leave him beyond cranky as a result.

Hi Lisa,
Oh, I feel your pain! I wish that my one-year-old would sleep well at other places (or I would just pack the pack and play and get moving), but he does not. He sleeps best in his crib. So, generally speaking, when we have something to do that intrudes on his nap time, we can usually stretch him a little, but he is a very scheduled baby. We did that and are very happy. He sleeps so easily (unless he is sick) and people are always commenting on what a happy baby he is. I love it! I would use the time to get things done around your house and get some rest for yourself!

I went through the same thing with my two. I do believe that sleep is important and that if you try to take them places when they are over tired that they will just be grumpy anyway. They won't nap forever (believe me) and they will be over the "baby" phase before you know it, so take advantage of this time at home with them. Be flexible with grocery shopping and things, so when they are both up and in good moods you can just grab a bag and run to the store. Or...I make shopping a "me" time thing at Meijer after they are in bed and hubby is home. My kids go to bed at 8:00 and 8:30 so I can go and be home by 10:00 and still get a decent night sleep.
Hope this helped a little! Just remember, they won't be little for very long and YOU will miss the naps soon enough:-)
J.

I have 2 daughters, and I can identify with the feeling of being tied to the house for naptime. I also didn't feel the naps were as helpful when taken in the car. What I ended up doing was making sure we were usually home for the afternoon nap which involved both my older and younger children, and sometimes letting the baby get her morning one in the car. Also, once in awhile I was able to leave the girls with a babysitter or relative so I could go out and do something. But if the baby is 8 mos., you probably don't have too much longer until you can cut down to one longer nap... (hopefully around 12 mos.?).

I work around my daughters schedule.. I agree that dragging sleepy kids around is a recipe for disaster! What I have found really works is to limit the amount of things that we will do in a week. We will only go shopping once, we will go to a maximum of two friends houses, we will go to one play group. This is at three. She gets stressed if I put too much on our plate and then she is not fun to be around at all. Little ones act out instead of telling you they are maxed out.

When the babies were small they worked around my schedule since babies can sleep anywhere. Once they got old enough to actually need a bed for nap time I did my housework/what have you at home while they were napping. I did find it helped to be other places once in awhile while they napped to show they can nap other places than snug in their beds, for example a friend or relatives home.

I have to older children who are 16 months apart. Honesty you have to work around their schedule. If you do that you are creating an environment that is consistent and that is the most import thing for children. It really can affect their developent if there is not consistency.

Take care,
S.

I mostly did things are around their schedules. There were times we had to be out and about, but if it was more than a day or two, everyone would be miserable and a few days at home were needed. So, I think it is a give and take. I don't feel I ever missed out on anything I truely wanted to do because of my kids schedules, but I also feel if your child gets all thier nap time in a stroller or car, that is not healthy either. So, think balance!

Hi Lisa,
I know a thing or two about not being able to leave the house because of nap times. I have 5 kids, 4 under the age of 4 and some days we just don't make it to the store like we should. Who wants to deal with sleepy kids in public? I belive that there is a middle ground and you both can adjust. I take my daughter to school in the moring (the other kids are at home with dad) then there is a morning nap for the twins (20 months) and the baby (6 months), when the twins get up it's lunch time for everyone and after lunch is the time we can do our "running around" and picking up sister. When we get back home if the twins need another nap they will lay down or have a snack, and the 3 1/2 year old will lay down too if she needs to. I just make sure that they get one good nap at home before we do anything, then get out of the house before they have time to get tired again! It would be easier on you if you could get your kids to take a nap at the sametime. Then you can get stuff done and when they get up you can go. It may take a few weeks before you can get them on the same nap time, but it will be worth it in the long run! Good Luck!

Lisa-I have two older children (6 and 7) and i worked around their nap schedules. It made life easier the rest of the day. They were well rested and happy and so the rest of the day and evening ran smoothly. Routine in eating and sleeping patterns is very very important to a child's development. By the way, it is for such a short time and I cannot stress that enough. You are one day going to look back and realize that those sweet little naps are part of the memories (not the errands you ran). Trust me it goes by fast...too fast for me, so we had another one 3 months ago (and that was on purpose)! So I am back to being home a lot too. But it will only be for a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. You could probably begin the movement to one nap a day now and then with your little one if it's really important for you to get out. Eventually that is what they move to anyhow. I had the (brief) sweet taste of having my whole day to myself while my two oldest were in school, and going back to being home all day (because we don't venture out much in this cold/contagious time of year) has been frustrating at times. I just remember how fleeting it will be, and then I remember to cherish it. Your priorities are where they should be....their sleep and well being are more important than getting everything done on your "to-do" list.

I have a four year old, two year old and a 10 month old. My afternoons are off limits because of naps. I try to sneak in errands either in the morning before the youngest wants a nap or I just wait until the evening. I figured that if the youngest get a shorter nap in the morning she will make up for it in the afternoon. I also leave my errands the she can stay in the car (drive-up windows) or long distances for last in case she falls asleep It is sometimes hard to get going in the morning with all three, but it is worth it when I get all of it done and can get home.

I agree with you Lisa. Sleep is very important and this is just one of the sacrifices we, as parents make for our kids to insure they stay healthy. I assure you this is a short stage of your life and once your baby gives up the morning nap, you can begin to do more. Stick with your instincts and let your friend deal with carting around tired kids. What is so important that it can't wait until after a good nap is had?

Hi Lisa-

It sounds like you know the right thing to do. You do have to work around the babies schedules for awhile. They depend on you to give them all they need and that includes good quality sleep. I think to ask them to skip naps when they are that young ( 8 months)is kind of selfish. Although once and a while you do need to do certain things at times when you don't have a choice on the time, doc appts and so on, so in these cases they may need a later nap that day. I think your on the right track by letting them get their rest. I know it's restricting but it will get better soon:)