Do You Ever Yearn for a More "Traditional" Life?

I did, so now I do, and I love it! Except I'm an atheist and hate to wash dishes after cooking. ;-)

I think the reason the "tradional" life has gone by the wayside is not necessarily financial reasons, but because the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is very true still in this day and age, however, many people are far removed from their "village". With people moving away from home to go to college and then staying in that area after graduation or moving away from home because the spouse got a job out of state, etc. Many people don't have the big family support to help take care of their child(ren), there are many people that I know that are doing it alone.
Also, many of these modern day grandparents don't necessarily "live" for the grandkids - they worked hard to retire and are not going to just drop regular tee-time or bridge club to help out! Times are a-changing!!!

I'm a Radical Homemaker. I'm not living a "traditional life". But I am living a life that takes the best of "traditional" and melding it with the best of "modern creative". It's working well. I enjoy my life.

Oh... I want it one step further: I want STAFF :D :D :D And for it to be normal to be traveling half of the year with my children and husband (who, of course in this fantasy, absolutely adores me). Wintering in Egypt, world tours, 6 month honeymoon, governess and private tutors till Oxford, kind of 'traditional'. <grin>

LOL, no!!! Oh, and I dated a guy for four years right out of high school that had 10 siblings ... it ain't all that it's cracked up to be :)

Maybe for about 2 seconds....then I snap back to my reality--which is pretty good. :)

YES just living on the farm surrounded by people of faith and love and all my cousins and family nearby. No TV and computer influencing my kids. You've sold me into your fantasy. But I would miss Mamapedia.

Nope! I like that we arent a traditional family. Its just not the right lifestyle for me

Jah, that would be wonderful gut ;)

I love Beverly Lewis and Wanda Brunstetter novels!
One day I stumbled across A Sister's Secret, and I was addicted.

http://www.christianbook.com/a-sisters-secret-of-holmes-c...

If you find the Amish interesting, I think you'll like it too. Wanda Brunstetter became interested in the Amish when she visited with her husbands Mennonite family in Lancaster.

http://www.wandabrunstetter.com/about/

I like Beverly Lewis too.
http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/authordetail.php?aut_id=94

Best wishes!! :)

LOL I can honestly say I have NEVER had that fantasy!!! I'm all about sensibility :)

Haha! Sorry, no, I'm with Riley and Melanie! I'll take staff, I love that idea! ;) I'm a city girl and although the thought of a couple more kids is kinda heartwarming, it ain't gonna happen! I just don't think I have the patience for that! My life is pretty good, but my fantasies involing jet setting (with the kids, of course) and a few vacation homes!

Oddly NO - I used to want all that when I was younger. Now I love having ONE child and working full time and having a Husband that (most of the time) cleans and cooks as well.

I'm not in the norm here - but yes, sometimes I've thought "Well wow, the Amish help eachother out. They're a tight-night community that take care of eachother. They seem to lead a very simple life and I am all about keeping things simple." We live on a few acres and it's just me and my husband building our house and moving huge logs and clearning the land. I am not Mrs. Muscles, and sometims I've wished that we had another family or two on our property that would help us, we'd help them, etc. We do plan to have our own garden one day. First though, we need to finish the house. It's not quite done. Plus the deer, cows, jackrabbits, and racoons out here will eat our garden if we don't protect it well, so we need a locked greenhouse which will be a little extra work. So yes, traditional life sounds nice. I'd sure miss the Internet though, and air conditioning.

Do I sometimes wish I stayed home and hubby provided all the income and we have several kids and live off our land? Yep...but not a reality and won't ever be. And in our luck, we kind of have a life like that because hubby has the kids during the week since he works weekends. I miss that I am not home with them all day, but they are home with him so I'm happy for that!! Sometimes I even joke about wearing my nice dress and pearls while I vacuum!!

Not me - I wish for a less traditional life. I'd like to be able to travel extensively. Perhaps live in Asia or Europe for a bit. Damn job and mortgage!!

The trouble with the traditional life is (like my great grandmother 100 years ago) - we're use to a whole lot more recreational/down time than the traditional life will allow you.
Use to be idle hands were the devils workshop - meaning every minute of your waking day was filled with cleaning, mending, tending, growing (gardens), milking the cow, breaking a chicken/turkey/ducks neck, then gutting and plucking the bird (save the feathers for pillows and blankets), preparing preserves, baking the bread, (ever cook with a coal or wood fired oven?), sewing the clothes (and cleaning them with a wash board and wringer was an all day thing (hanging on a line and ironing them when dry)).
There's a REASON many people only lived to their mid-40's - they'd drop dead from exhaustion.

I do... I wonder what it would be like. Wish for a simpler life.... but then I begin to wonder if it really is more simple....? Maybe just different stresses? I figure I should either try it (too afraid) or be thankful for my life and blessings and try to simplify within what I have... can't wait to read the other responses

Hmmmm.

While I'm generalizing (and romanticizing) the communities you've mentioned, I imagine those mothers have more support than we might in our isolated nuclear family groups. They're not at home ALONE cooking while they try to manage five children; they're cooking while their cousin watches their children, for example. They're in their fields and the young ones are tended by the older ones, and by the elderly. It may be more "their" norm, and thus, they're more prepared and supported for their clearly defined role.

Raising children (if my understanding is at all correct) is the communities job, rather than the individual parent alone.

The role Mom-and-Dad-alone-raise-five-children would not work for ME, but raising children with community, support, connection, Faith would. And yes, I crave it. (And I get it ;-)

I don't hate the idea of having another child but I have two (one who is my biological daughter and one who is my biological niece) and I wouldn't be able to be the Mom I want to be if I had more right now. *I* would be stretched too thin.

Also, I love working. And this year, I'll finally have a chance to start volunteering my time at a domestic violence advocacy center, and to give back some of the strength and support I've been lent over the past years. I have many interests and facets that are not encompassed solely within the home, and I can't wait to let them shine more. I love watching my children grow, and to enable them to be confident, independent, connected little ladies. For ME, feeling like a whole, multifaceted woman, was harder with younger children, and it's important for my growth and path in life.

Also, this way, I am able to have my friend's children over, and am able to offer childcare to my single friends. I love my family of friends, and really love having a huge brood. I just don't want to make all of them ;-)

Once my kids are out of the house, we'll (hopefully) start temporary fostering, so that will be another way I'll get to be a mom of a big, big (non "traditional") family.

I hope you get your wish of a big family, and lot's of steaming pots of yummy food!

I read an article in my college magazine about a couple who were living the rat race in NYC. The guy was a writer. Not sure what the wife did. They decided to live the traditional life for one year--maybe living like it was 100 years ago. Moved into a farmhouse. Grew their own food. No electricity, etc. I think there is something appealing to letting modern things go--TV, email, Internet, etc. The couple didn't have kids so maybe that's not really what you are asking.

Remember that those Amish families aren't sending their kids to college so they don't have that expense. They aren't paying for piano lessons or baseball teams or summer camps. It's hard to fit a traditional life into modern life, but certainly some people do it.

Nah, my grass is green enough over here in regards to my family and life.

Now, do I wish one of the VERY rare times that I go to the casino and put in $20 bill for the night I would come home having hit the jackpot. Sure! But mostly I live day to day in my own reality with my weekly paycheck.

Every day I yearn to be 'normal' and have a 'normal' family. But I need to find a way to have kids before I can be even close to a 'normal family' in my book.

I don't want 10 kids by any means (I don't know how my mother in law did it). But being a stay at home mom is a must, probably homeschooling etc. Although, I'm not agreeing to do ALL the cooking. My husband works in an air conditioned office, sitting down most of the time. Not like he's out farming which can be a 20 hour a day job at times (my parent's are farmers, so I know how busy one can be there).

But of course this economy and fertility issues is making any of it very hard.

Edit: Ok normal/traditional.. it's all closely related in my book. Even though it can mean very different things.

That is what you mean by "traditional"? I am a stay at home mom with one child and my husband works. That is what traditional means to me and I love it. BUT, my husband and I are a team. We make all decisions together. Eventhough most of our jobs at home are gender specific, that is how we like it. I don't like yardwork and my husband is a terrible cook. I am not sure about the Amish, but in the Orthodox community women are second class citizens whose only job is to have lots of babies. And NO, I do not want 20 kids. Ever.

Oh no... don't have that dream, I think I dream more to have your life... I do love to cook, but not all the time and I sure wouldn't want to do it all the time, I love working and interacting with other adults. I really don't want to retire even though I may make comments... I don't know if I could handle being at home all the time with my husband... I love TV maybe too much, I do know I've gotten very lazy over the years...

I'm with ya, in our next life we want to be farmers, live off the land, make our own clothes which we wash on the river bank, dozens of kids frolicking gaily in the pastures with the cattle.....Him out working the farm 12 hrs, me inside making biscuits and sausage from scratch on our wood fired stove.....

Ok, ok, I'm over it!

For now we're happy being middle class suburban slobs, schlepping each paycheck for the God Almighty Mortgage!

:)

Yes, I do.

I, too, sometimes dream about living in simpler times, with more traditional ways. I totally get where you're coming from.

NEVER NEVER NEVER (college educated professional, working mom, happily married, one toddler, plan to keep working, no more kids).

Having started down the path to self-sufficiency, I've started questioning those rose colored glasses. I do make our bread, I hang my clothes out to dry, we use cloth diapers, and we go for a walk every night with our girls. It's blissful. Unless the girls are sick, I sprain my ankle, it's 112 outside, etc, etc. I'm starting to learn you can have that "homemade" lifestyle, but you have to look at it through modern eyes. You want fresh rice when you get home? I've got my steamer that has a time delay button. I set it to start 30 min after I leave to pick up my husband (we share one car) from work, and by the time we're home, it's just finishing. Oh, I also steam my potatoes in it for homemade mashed potatoes. It's incredible! I bake bread once a week and double up when I make casseroles. I discovered that making homemade biscuits takes 20 minutes, which is only a few minutes longer than the store bought kind. So I make the biscuits, sausage and eggs all at once. Sandwich them all up, wrap in saran wrap and freeze!

I sewed all our cloth wipes while my daughter learned to crawl on the floor at my feet. In fact, because re-purchasing paper towels and feminine supplies irritated me, we stopped doing that. It's all cloth now and I love it. I think it's just the right tool for the right job. Ask yourself what you really want and then explore ALL the different options for making that happen. You might find that 7 kids sounds really great, but when you realize how much larger a vehicle you'll need to transport them all, the idea might lose some of its appeal.

Well, I guess you could say that's me. I thought we would figure out a way to help with school but the years went too fast. We are rich in family and have a decent house even if it is old and needs a lot of work. But we have 4 children and have never had much if anything in savings. We have little retirement saved. Our oldest is 27 and youngest 11. We have 4 and I could care less if having 2 would have been "SENSIBLE". For me it was and still is all about my kids.

Sometimes, just once and awhile for a little bit, I wonder what it would be like if I had put education as a priority and waited to have kids. But then I think I would have stopped at 2. No way.

Sit back and enjoy what you have. Anything else out there is other people's lives.

Yes. "traditional" is me. We have four kids. I stay at home. I love being with the kiddos all the time, keeping house, cooking, baking, gardening, and being their pre-school at home teacher. I'm 30 as well, AND college educated.

As far as my kids' college education? Perhaps they will get scholarships (they already are doing exceptionally well in school in the gifted program), OR we have the BEST community college in the United States where we live, that has just gotten a four-year program- maybe they could go there if they don't get a scholarship, and then there's student loans OR the military (I'm kinda into the kids working themselves to get things). My husband makes more money every year, so perhaps we can start saving more, perhaps for some weddings (we have four girls). I'm not worried about the money, but the quality of life, the home and the basics. I know I want to be the one that is always there for my kids at home.... and I LOVE IT! To each their own.

Do I have a desire to cook and clean and wipe bottoms all day? No.

I live simply and in as environmentally friendly a manner as I can, but that's as Amish as I want to get.

Sometimes I think I wold like a third child, I am 39 with two little ones, and my husband is 46 and working two jobs until I go back to work....I think it's just a woman thing though to want more than, in reality, would actually be good for our lives..Plus the more you have, the more you take away from the ones you already have....Maybe that feeling of envy for people with more than two makes us feel like we aren't fully validated as moms unless we squeeze as many out as our friends/co-workers or something, who knows :). You are right, two is the sensible number of kids if you aren't wealthy and living in today's society, but that is just my opinion...My husband had a vasectomy so no more for us regardless, but if your situation allows for more than two without being on welfare and are still able to provide nicely for all of them, then do it.. However, I wouldn't be the least bit envious of those who have more kids than they can afford, sounds like misery to me. Orthodox Jews are usually wealthy if it's any consolation, lol, and wouldn't want to become Amish just to have a bunch of babies...Boring....

No, and I am the SAHM of one 9 year old girl, although I will be back to work this fall (virtual company, so I will work from home). However, it sounds like you might want a change, so go for it!

Yes, but I more wonder where I would have fit in best in history. There are so many time periods that I think would have been awful for me, but I'm not sure I'm my best self in this time period either, if you know what I mean. I think maybe I would have been best off raising young children in the 1950s.

Yes! I worked to support our family while my husband finished grad school, and during that time we had three kids. I was recently let go because my company was downsizing, and I was so relieved! Now finances are tight, but that also means we know where our money is going now more than ever. And my four-year-old says I'm his best friend. And my two-year-old gives me kisses all day long. And I got to see my 10-month-old's first steps. (PS... she walks for meat and beer. No, I didn't give her any beer. Just saying what she was walking for.)

I yearned. I got. Just starting out in this new normal, and life is good.

If I could be the mom on Little House on the Prarie I would be in heaven.

I sometimes wish I was better at the whole cooking and it being amazing AND made from scratch thing, and that I was better at the keeping the house spotless all the time instead of just when company is coming. I am college educated, have two children and would love one more if I can talk the hubby into it. We're not barley scraping by, but we're not wealthy either. We live how we want and save what we can. In the end, I wouldn't trade my life for anything!

Nope. I never had the desire to be at home fulltime, being expected to be fully responsible for the household and kids, spend my days with just kids and not adults (although working in an elementary school, I do spend my time with more kids than adults LOL) or be fully financially dependent on someone else. I have no desire to be, as these other societies you've mentioned that exist within our own country, isolated from everyone else. There are pressures that exist in every lifestyle! I'll keep the ones that I have.

Incorporate a few traditional ideals, then, that are workable and hold appeal for your family. Nightly dinner at a set time (or add a few), meals cooked with homegrown veggies (I have a salsa and spaghetti garden, small but manageable) and herbs - and it IS okay to freeze, bake, and serve! Friday night game night, walks in the park, initiate an annual summer block party with a bike parade.

I left my job before my son was born. I tried working up until I gave birth but my office had a fire and I kept getting sick there. It was terrible. I made the choice to leave and work on my home for a bit. I waited a while before I had children. I never really wanted any. I loved being able to go any where at anytime. Now, I have two children, a boy and a girl. I absolutely love being a mom and I"m a stay at home mome too. This is my choice. I really need to get a job but my children are young and I don't want to leave them with any one but me.

My husband and I used to do very well, but my hubby's hours have been cut and we are barely making the mortgage. I looked into working but child care was out of the question. It's just so expensive. I have no family here and if they were, they are too old... They are young at heart but I don't expect my parents or any relative for that matter to watch my kids. I have friend that have family watch their kids 24/7 and they don't get paid a dime. One of my friend's moms finally gave it up; it was too much. She would take care of two or three babies and then go to her nite job. Another friend, her mom watches her two kids all the time and has for years.

I love being home with my kids but it makes you fat and I do mean fat. Even though, I run around with my kids all day and play and do all kinds of activities, there's something to be said for time away from them too; which I don't get except some times to do grocery shopping; which is for my family. I know that this time is short and I don't want to miss any of it. There may be a time when I go back to work but for now, my kids are where I want to be.

Also, If I could, I would have two more. . . boy and girl twins. If I knew that I would love children this much, I would have started sooner. I hope this answer's your question. Kids are a blessing.

I sorta grew up in that type of environment & see it on tv w/those great shows that showcase that type of lifestyle & also the same type of documentaries that showcase different "traditional" lifestyles & do wish our home life was like that...everyone being respectful, helping out when asked. Everyone learning ways of doing things like canning foods, growing gardens, etc & while I know a little about things like that, I really wished we had an actual life like that where we didn't hafta worry about paying bills or where our next meal is coming from b/c we'd grow our own food! (Well, as much as we could) & how to make our own handcrafted items that we needed b/c I truly feel it's very important to know these things...never know if or when you might just need those skills! but yes, I do wish sometimes our situation was like that.

Honestly, I don't necessarily want to be home all day, doing cooking, cleaning, sewing, etc., the "hard way." But I do, passionately, wish for a life that's less centered around material possessions, that has less *stuff* in it. If I could live in a little one-horse town, with no changing fashions, no electronic gadgets, perhaps no TV/computers at all (but I DO want indoor plumbing!), and yet still have a career, that would be paradise for me.