Do You Enjoy House Guests?

When people visit me, they stay in a hotel.
When I visit people, I stay in a hotel.
I like having my own space and I need breaks from people.

I love it when house guests arrive. It's fun to break up the routine. And then I love having my house to myself when they go.

I like to have company that comes and stays a night or two. If they stay longer than that it feels invasive and I get frustrated with having to please people. Plus I just can't afford to feed them at that point.

i have to laugh at this question, because as i answer, i am sequestered in my (walk in) closet. I needed a break from our guests lol. we are blessed to have a vacation home out of state, and it's a beautiful large home, way bigger than our main residence. i love being here with just our immediate family, (i have a twin sister who has two kids, and we are all super close) but i generally don't enjoy having guests beyond immediate family. however my husband is the opposite, and always wants to invite lots of people. This holiday he invited two families of four, the youngest of both are kids that my older son plays soccer with, and that i have met, and hung out with socially a bunch of times. but to invite them to stay with us for a week, i was not on the same page at all, and it's stressful to me to have that many guests, especially whom you don't know that well, but it was too late for me to do anything about it, because my husband had already invited them ( a whole other story which i won't get into)...i just try to roll with it, and it's gone actually much better so far than i imagined. i was pretty stressed out leading into the trip but they're all really good people and so i'm enjoying their company and trying to make the best of it. but NO you aren't wierd for feeling like guests disrupt the peace and quiet.

I love that saying; "company is like fish. It stinks after three days." I would also say that you are probably an introvert and really need your space and alone time to recharge. I'm in the middle of the spectrum. I love when my family comes to visit, and I love it when they go home. Since having kids I'm not as hip on company and thats because I just can't seem to keep my space clean. So company is really stressful for me because my house is messy. I think I will go back to enjoying entertaining and hospitality when my kids older.

I truly enjoy my space and alone time but I also enjoy having people over and I don't mind staying with others as long as it's not too long or burdensome.
My husband and I were just talking about this the other day. It seems like the concept of hospitality has gone by the wayside in favor of personal comfort and convenience. When I was growing up (I'm in my 30s) it was common to stay with family/friends rather than spending the money on a hotel. Pallets were made, couches were slept on, kids were put in the floor so that older guests could have their beds. It wasn't a long--term thing and for a few D. or even a week it was doable.
Perhaps it's the time/geographic location/culture I grew up in but we just made things happen. Someone needed a place to sleep? We found one, Someone needed food? We fed them. I spent quite a bit of time with an aunt & uncle who lived in a two bedroom house with three kids and never once did they make me feel unwanted or a burden. We just piled in the bed and had a ball.
With all that being said, we have made a decision to practice hospitality more often and in ways that aren't necessarily convenient for us but rather helps, encourages, or blesses people.
Each family does what is best for them :-)

We have a guest room so I don't mind house guests if they fit in there. If there are so many they spill out to the LR or FR, I can't stand it. Then I think they should get a hotel but my husband is more generous. But I have a single girlfriend who comes sometimes and that's fun. Same if I'm a house guest. If there's a guest room(s) that fits us, then I enjoy it. A friend has an enormous house with a whole floor for us and that's great. Our kids play so she said it makes life easier for her bc then her kids are entertained. And of course it depends if everyone is considerate and if I know them pretty well. My husband had his friend and two sulky teenage boys stay and I did not like that. I don't know the friend well at all, they were really late for the dinner I prepared, didn't even bring a bottle of wine etc. They couldn't all fit in the guest room easily so the boys were in the LR and they also didn't help with breakfast. I was not friendly by the end. In that case, I really felt they should have gotten a hotel. I think weeks or even a week anywhere is too much unless it's very close family and they have tons of space.

sistah!
it's different with my boys. i love it when they come home (and this will ALWAYS be their home) and get the blues when they leave again. but even with my own beloved babies, there's still a sense of AHHHH when the quiet descends again.
i've become very, very fond of quiet.
since my parents sold their house, mine has become the hub for my brothers, which i accept but don't really enjoy. inviting someone dear to come stay for a few days or even a couple of weeks is one thing- having someone say 'i'm in town for the month of ____, see you then!' makes me much grumpier.
traveling is tough too- there's one home i visit regularly and in which i'm completely comfortable, but for the most part i much prefer to stay in a decent hotel than put someone out. and yes, i do get that for many it's not being 'put out' but i guess that's how it feels because i myself am such a cave troll.
it's not the making of beds or cleaning of bathrooms or providing of coffee. it's simply having someone else pinging on my consciousness. it wasn't an issue when i was raising kids, but now i'm used to pottering around in my own odd little routine. having someone else's presence and conversation and energy disrupt it is occasionally dear and welcome, but for the most part it's just- disruptive.
i do love to travel. love it. love that we're at a point in our lives when we can do it sometimes. but my little farm is really the best place on earth for me, and the only thing better than setting out to have adventures is coming back here.
hopefully to no one but my dh, boys, critters, and the various beings and spirits who share this place with us.
:) khairete
S.

I enjoy having guests, and being a guest, but maybe that's because it's NEVER for more than a night or two. WEEKS at a time? No way, thank God no one in my family or friend circle expects that!

Eli J. is hiding in the closet! Hilarious.

Interesting question and very interesting responses. I'm really surprised to see that most people are ambivalent about the house guest issue.

I, too, have mixed emotions about it. I can do two days, and then I need to be in my own head and piddle around for a while, without being observed by others. I'm better at other people's houses, because I don't need coddling, but I do feel a burden to keep guests at my own home entertained and happy, probably more than I need to.

I think it depends on the size of your house, and your guests. Right now my daughter's college boyfriend is staying with us for 5 days. Our house is on the small side (it was large for it's time when it was built in the 1950's) so it's not the most comfortable. But we do have a spare bedroom (tiny) and he is very sweet, polite and respectful so it's not bad. If my guests were my close family I wouldn't mind it all al - even the mess. For me though it's the non-blood related males that give me a smidgen of discomfort since I can't stroll around in my PJ's with boobs sagging. So I wear a robe in the winter and a sports bra in the Summer & I'm OK. But generally I'm with you - having houseguests is tough, being a houseguest is tough and with all things being equal I'd rather stay at a hotel.

I hate having overnight guests for several days.
I love having company & dinner & bbqs but overnight guests? Nah.
I feel like I'm working 24 hours per day!

I think it's more a question of temperament than anything else. I am an introvert and so is my husband. Neither of us enjoy having sleepover guests because we both start to feel our space is being invaded. Similarly, unless it is immediate family, we generally don't like to stay at anyone else's home more than one night or we feel we're imposing, especially with three kids in tow. Having said that, we very much enjoy hosting people for meals and feel there is tremendous value in teaching our children that we have an open home, and being an example for them of how to welcome guests and make them feel comfortable.

It depends on who it is for me. If it's my niece, she could move in with me and I'd be happy with that. She's been staying with me for weeks at a time since she was about 7. She's 22 now and works full time so she can only come visit on weekends. We live three hours away.

My nephew, on the other hand, brought his wife and baby to stay with me last spring while he worked in the area. It was a nightmare. The baby was up all night (I still had to go to work every day), she didn't clean up after herself or the baby, created tons of laundry, and left the door to my garage open all day so my dog spent time out there eating things he shouldn't have. Thank goodness I was wise enough to lock up my cats in my bedroom or they probably would have run away.

Yep, just depends on the person. Mostly I dislike it though, because like others have said, it's tough to entertain someone 24-7. It gets tiring. As for myself, I'd much rather stay at a hotel than with somebody. Just seems less stressful to me.

I like having daytime visitors-- don't mind them at all. Anything beyond that, we can help you find a nice hotel. Our house is small, we have one bathroom which is already in demand with 3 humans as it is. I rather covet my quiet time and so longer visits can be a bit draining depending on the company and their level of need for attention.

My dad has stayed overnight and he's easy. Brings his camping cot, never complains about anything, likes sharing Kiddo's room with him. Understands that a small house means noise, waiting for a bathroom and never being completely alone. He can handle it but most of our relatives cannot. Larger families, introvert visitors-- they don't do well here. :)

Funny, I was just telling someone that I feel the same way that you describe. I don't love having people at the house. I like my little quiet, peaceful home. This is why I tend to put distance between visitors and i keep their visits to a minimum (3 days or so). I say honor how you feel about it =) It's your house and your life =)

It really depends on who the houseguests are and how long they are staying. We have a separate guest room and bath that offer some privacy to the guests and to us. This works out great, especially for old friends, it is nice to stay up late, drink wine, play games and visit and then enjoy a leisurely breakfast the next morning. I do like it when guests have their own vehicle for transportation so I don't feel like I am a taxi service. I enjoy doing some things with my guests, but I don't want to be responsible for their meals and entertainment the whole time they are here. There are some people that I enjoy staying with and then others that I would not stay with because of limited space or cat allergies or smoking in their home.

Our house is small, and very cluttered because we lack adequate storage (an issue we're working on in the new year) so we don't really have overnight guests -- and our family on both sides is more comfortable in hotels, which is fine with me! As for being a guest-- I don't l like being a houseguest for more than a night or two just because I don't sleep well in other people's homes; however, staying with friends or relatives does allow you more time to chat over breakfasts and later into the night.

I sleep fine in hotels or rental flats, and truly look forward to the two weeks each year we stay in the same rental apartment when we visit my husband's family overseas. We have stayed in the same place (sometimes in different apartments but in the same building, and usually in one particular apartment) for 14 years now, and it's like coming home-- only very clean and uncluttered; someone brings us new towels and sheets each week; and the only mess I can make is with the limited amount of stuff in my suitcase!

If you are really truly thrown by staying at others' homes, and these stays are more than a night or two, please do consider renting a small apartment if it's a week or more, or staying in a hotel if it's a few days to a week. It is worth the money to reduce your own stress, and your hosts might actually be pleased. If it's an apartment, it allows YOU to do things like have your local hosts over to "your place" for meals a few times so they don't have to cook for you as much or go out with you to eat all the time, too, and you can play hostess and give them a break.

Don't like hosting..it's just my hubs family but they are all perfectionists and I'm not...So they bulldoze me and make me feel uncomfortable in my own home..jumping up to wash th dishes when I sit down to chat...or following behind me when I'm taking the garbage out...they probably think they are helping but hen I'm left standing there like an idiot.

I don't love staying at others house but it is a huge money saver and my kids bonding w their cousins is worth it.. but I prefer when there are activities in the community or nephew sporting events..instead of just hanging w alkyl the family

What I don't like is it is not relaxing. If I am the hostess, then I spend my time trying to see to my guests needs/wants and to make them comfortable and that can just be exhausting. Heck, just having to "visit" from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed, is exhausting.

I don't like having house guests and I don't like being one either. If at all possible, we don't stay the night and if we do, we usually get a hotel room. For me, that's better than being in someone else's space.

I enjoy having house guests as long as they know how to be polite guests, don't stay too long, and don't treat my home like it's a cheap motel.
I'm not as crazy about being a house guest because I don't like living out of my suitcase.

I love having house guests, but we have a small house, so I don't love the anxiety of preparing for them Don't get me wrong, I love peace and quiet,too, but love having someone around to wake up and have coffee, or chat with. But it doesn't happen as much here in a smaller home. Have you considered downsizing??
I like staying places for a couple of days, but usually those situations can be uncomfortable.(unless it is a luxurious hotel or something). We bring a futon to stay on my brother's floor in another state and we've slept in my in laws in another country on various floors, mattresses, etc. Now that can be a backache.But for the most part I like it, but want to add to this one more thing: There is definitely a difference between house guests and acquiring freeloader who outstay their welcome. Remember the old saying 'they're like fish-after three days they start to stink." HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I like and need my own space. I do not enjoy having overnight guests and have avoided it for most of my adult life. I also do not like to be a guest in someone else's home. I prefer a hotel and a place of my own that I can go away to at the end of the night.
Without that space, either my own to go to or somewhere to send the guest off to, I stress and can't wind down. I don't sleep and I'm constantly on edge feeling like every little miniscule thing has to be absolutely perfect and perfect is not good enough. I can't even feel comfortable doing something as simple as taking a shower.
I would rather have the rush and hurry to get out the door to meet our guests then have them go to bed in my home and wake up again in my own home or me do the same in their home.

I love your honesty!! I like company for dinner/game night etc. but not much when they spend the night.

I enjoy inviting people over for dinner, a movie, game night, etc. but it is incredibly rare that I invite anyone to sleep here.

Out of town visitors stay in hotels. My parents and in-laws have never slept in my home. Overnight kids don't bother me, just adults. When I visit other people, I stay in a hotel.

Tonight is one of those super rare exceptions. We are having a small NYE party and I've invited my sister and niece to sleep over. My sister is one of the few adults in the world that won't bother me just by being present.

I love having overnight guests. I have everything ready for them - clean sheets, bathrobe, toiletries, and hopefully my bathrooms are clean enough for them. I have several friends who need to come into town for short stints and I always tell them to stay here if it works with our schedule. I have never regretted the decision. I AM kind of picky about who stays and I only have people come whom I like a lot. I'm glad I haven't had anyone rude to me stay...

I pretty much don't entertain, though we'll make a big breakfast on weekends and lunch if we're still hanging around the house. But pretty much you're on your own for everything else. I have a washer and dryer and unless they spent the night without knowing they would need to (snow, etc), they can wash their own clothes.

Family? I've had family stay as long as two weeks. I don't get nervous about it unless the family member is elderly. That's a different ballgame and I'm not a good cook. Usually an elderly person doesn't fix their own food. Ask me this question later on this year when I have an elderly family member with me - I hope I don't have a different answer.

I guess that what I will say here is that if I don't have to take them everywhere and do everything for them, I'm happy to have company. It's nice to have a full house sometimes!

I enjoy having house guests, but we have a small house and don't have guests very often (other than kids sleepovers). I love being in a house full of people and activity. In fact, that is really the only time I want to be at home. Otherwise I need to get out of the house to look for people and activity. I look to nature for my peace and quiet and the church for my sanctuary.

Last night we attended a big 40th birthday party for a friend. Lots of noise, laughter, kids running around. It was great fun, but I was sure happy to go home.

I enjoy people and guests, but I like best when they leave and I can reset my home. :-)

It depends on where and with who. I dislike long-term houseguests, or being one. One of my SD's friends stayed here last year...and just would.not.leave. I also find it harder if there's a lack of space, or if it interrupts my schedule. I don't like guests that are too demanding or who ignore me as the host.

I do like to travel, and I don't mind traveling with or to family or very good friends. But other trips we are in hotels because we want our own space. A few years we went to the same area with the ILs and everyone had their own house. We just met up for activities or meals when it worked out.

Right now we have guests and the biggest problem is keeping DD quiet til a reasonable hour and forgetting what we stored in the spare room that we can't easily get to without waking someone up.

Times have changed when it comes to house guests or guests of any kind. I grew up when family and friends came over and didn't have to be put on a calendar to show up. A few times the kids spent the night on the floor and thought it was something great.

I now travel and visit but I am self-contained. I bring things to do of my own so that the wife/daughter/daughter-in-law do not have to "entertain" me. This probably comes from being military and moving around. I also make dinners for the homeowner when I know they are working so that they don't have to worry about what to feed me. I do my best to keep my clutter to a minimum and contained so that it does not trail all over the house.

My stays are usually three days or so. Our daughter this year asked her dad when he was going to leave as she did have things to do and he said one day and extended it for another. This caused a change in daughter's plans. I had to explain to him that things are different now days and that she had a life and that she planned for x amount of time with us and now we were in her way. The next morning at around 6 am he was up and packing things making sure he was out of the way. It was a good thing as it took us 11 hours to get home due to the weather conditions and the freezing rain and fog. Several cars were upside in the inner median and a few were in the fields.

So you have a generational thing about people staying and those that impose. If you have a home that can house everyone great if not it can be tricky. My home now days has a bedroom the other two are a sewing room full and a den/workshop for electronics with a futon. So you stay as it or get a hotel room. Meals are prepared at home or we go out to eat.

I do like staying in a hotel when traveling and just unwinding and doing my thing when I am not visiting with friends/family.

Happy New Year to all!

the other S.

We don't have house guests because our home is too small for us and our kids, never mind having someone else come over.

However, I like to imagine that when I get to the point in life that I have space, I would enjoy making up a lovely guest room and having folks be able to stay with us. Who knows how it will be in real life when I get there!

It depends on who is coming or who I'm visiting. I don't enjoy having family with difficult personalities - my MIL is the prime example. But of course, when she is in town she stays with us. My FIL, on the other hand, is a wonderful guest and person. Other than that I enjoy the short term house guest. After 2-3 nights my patience does abate though. One exception is my dear aunt who I can't get enough of.

However, I dislike staying at other peoples homes for any length of time. I question the cleanliness of my MILs home. I'm not a neat/clean freak but the towel next to the toilet gets more and more yellow and crusty each time we visit but we are told it is decorative and if it is washed it will ruin the embroidered design. The bed that is allotted to us is also the bed the dog naps on and we're told the comforter can't be washed because it is too big for the washer - but she'll put it through the dryer so some of the hair falls off. Also, my aunts husband is a smoker which I loathe - luckily he is not in the house much but at night I have to put a towel under the door to keep out as much smoke as possible. He is not the kind of person who may feel any type of courtesy to smoke outside for the short term to accommodate guests. Seeing my aunt is worth the temporary smoke-induced illness.

So long story short - I usually feel uncomfortable and out of place staying with people, but must as to not hurt feelings and spend a ton of money unnecessarily. I enjoy guests to a short degree. The up side is the guests get one of the kids' rooms and the kids love sleeping on the air mattress in our bedroom.

No, not at all. I am pretty introverted as is my husband. We have a relatively small house that is not really suited for lots of guests. I always stress about the way my house looks too... I can never seem to keep it clean and clutter free with 2 kids. I also don't have a large backyard to host gatherings. I would much rather meet someone out somewhere instead of hosting...

Eeek! I no longer enjoy company. I used to. My in-laws ruined that for me. They used to come over with the doors open to them, but years ago it turned into a "them" against me. I put my foot down and said I go to work and pay for this home and other people aren't going to come here and make me uncomfortable.

My MIL comes for an overnight stay, but usually leaves the next morning. My FIL and his wife never come by any longer.

With that, I prefer no overnight company, since things changed. When we visit them, we get a room, unless the guest house is available. If we stay in the guest house, I clean it beyond what it was when I walked in there, before leaving.

Honestly, I do not enjoy very much staying away for days at someone else's home, but I Do enjoy having guests. I just ask them to let me know in advance they are coming.

A. :)