I wash the last load of dishes at night after dinner is done, so yeah, in the morning after breakfast and packing husband's lunch (and son's lunch/snack when school starts), after my husband leaves I'll send the boys to go play and I'll empty the previous night's dishes, then reload with the morning's dishes while I'm there. At lunch it's pretty minimal (the dishes) since it's usually a salad, sandwich, or leftovers, so after we eat, they go straight to the dishwasher. By then, I usually have to go ahead and start the washer because I use a LOT more dishes for dinner, and between the 4 of us the breakfast, lunch, and snack dishes leave it pretty full. If I don't turn the washer on, then inevitably not all the evening dishes will fit and it's annoying to have them in the sink. I clean/shine my sink every morning after breakfast (a flylady habit that I thought was stupid, but I really like once I started doing it).
I do not have 2 sets of cutlery a day, and have never really heard of this. I have my "nice" set that goes with my china, and is used on special occasions when I pull the china out, but just for normal everyday dishes, we have the normal everyday cutlery.
I sweep every evening under the table because I have little children, and otherwise "as needed". I mop the house once a week in the afternoon while the kids are in bed or having quiet time, and will spot clean with a sponge or rag as needed.
Ideas for counter space? Hmm. Not sure about that because we have a lot of space, lol. On the left side of the sink I have the toaster out (because we use it nearly everyday), a little rack of 6 coffee cups that are rarely used, the paper towels, and a basket we use to drop our receipts in (that gets cleaned out once/week). The space between the the right of our sink and the oven: a tile that has the honey and a teaspoon (Jeremy makes a million cups of tea a day, so that spoon stays there until the evening dishes get washed), the electric tea kettle, and a little thing that you put wooden spoons or ladles on when cooking. To the right of the oven is a hot plate, a cookie jar and some canisters (holding cereal, brown rice, arborio, flour, sugar). The island is only a work station and nothing is allowed on it unless I'm cooking. The other counter by the fridge has a fruit bowl, a vegetable bowl, a banana rack, and a CD player. The bar has a few framed photos, 2 cards, and the change jar. Everything else can just stay underneath in the cabinets and just get pulled out when needed.
Cleaning out the fridge/freezers thoroughly? Once a month. I have a weekly menu and a leftovers "clear it out" day, as well as serving leftovers for lunch, so we don't have tons of old food on the shelves like I've seen elsewhere. But I pull out everything once a month when I'm doing my "flylady" routine and it's the week to do the kitchen.
I don't really have a stove/vent cleaning routine. As needed, I suppose. I don't really have favorite brands of mops or whatever. Because you mentioned you want to change your habits and declutter, I suggest you read through flylady.net (my advice: don't subscribe to the emails, just look it over and create a new routine and plan from looking at her stuff). That has helped me so much because before finding that site, I had NO routine or plan for mundane things like cleaning. Now it's second nature, isn't hard at all, and I don't have to think much of it: it's spot cleaned before bed so that it's happy and organized in the morning (keeping the morning chaos down), every week the household chores are hit, one week a month we really concentrate on one zone (one of the zones being the kitchen) for the things that aren't necessary every day or week, but in my "previous life" would be easily forgotten until piled up so much it was too hard to deal with happily.