Do You Believe In...

Last Fri I went to the funeral of a 22 yo who was killed in a motorcycle accident. His mom was killed in a car accident when he was 10, which means his dad lost his first wife in a car accident and now his only son in a car accident...when standing in the recieving line, the man in front of me hugged the dad (my friend) and said to him "Jeff, I have no idea how you will get thru this". And do you know what Jeff said? "You just do". And he's right. You deal with whatever hand you've been given...and some of us have been dealt worse hands than others, but we don't sit down and take a beating. We keep going and do the best we can. Best wishes to you!!!

As long as "handle badly" gets included, then to date... it's true for me. It's kind of self selecting, however... since if I couldn't handle something at all, I'd be dead. And unable to comment.

M., I'm so sorry that you have had to endure so much, but grateful that God was with you through it all and gave you the grace and strength to endure. The phrase " God will never give you more than you can handle" is no where to be found in the bible. God does not promise that. It's funny that you asked this question, because I was just thinking about that phrase a few days ago. I was exploring it's origin because I suspected it was not biblical and came across this:
"The verse that people have in mind when they say this actually has to do with temptation. Paul is warning the Corinthians against idolatry and immorality like that engaged in by the Israelites in the desert (1 Cor.10:6-11). The actual promise, found in 10:13 is that God will not let us be tempted beyond our ability but will provide a way of escape so that we can withstand the temptation without giving into sin. ... The believer is never justified in saying that he or she just had to sin because the temptation was too great. I like the way Ed Welch puts it in his book Depression: A Stubborn Darkness: "He will never put you in a situation where a sinful response is the only way out.
If Paul really intended to make a general statement about God never giving Christians more than they could handle, then we'd have a hard time explaining his own testimony in 2 Corinthians 1:8.9: "For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself...But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."

I personally believe He sometimes allows these valleys because without them, we would have no reason to look to Him :) Still, I pray that this year will be a much better one for you!

I don't believe in god. My strength comes from within, it is not given to me, but something I earn by making it through each day, one day at a time.

Mother Teresa once said "I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much!" I know how she feels! However, I don't think God gives us situations like a test or something. I think life just happens, and He gives us the tools we need to get through it. When we cry out to Him, He arms us with even more. He even promises that for a believer, He will send an intercessor even when we are too broken to cry out! I think that is just so loving and caring of Him. I cannot imagine going through this life without Him to help.

You know, God's power is manifested best when we are weak. I do think He gives us more than we can handle so that we rely upon Him to handle it for us. It is in our weakness and suffering that we can see His strength and grace and comfort. In Ecclesiastes 7:2 it says, "Better to go to the house of mourning Than to go to the house of feasting, For that is the end of all men; And the living will take it to heart." It means that our trials, our sorrows, the death of loved ones, reminds us of our mortality, and makes us think more about how we are living. It is good for us to consider these things, for in the end, it is what matters. A house of feasting brings merriment to our hearts, which is good, to be sure. But, a house of mourning makes us consider God and how we live. Also, I believe that God is sovereign over the affairs of men. He not only allows things to happen, he ordains them to happen. Why? Sometimes we will never know the exact reason for things. But, we know that it is for His glory and our sanctification. For those who are His children, His disciples, it conforms us to His image. It helps us to be more like He wants us to be. We learn to trust in Him for everything. Sometimes we can't handle things on our own. It is a time to remember to cry out to Him who CAN handle everything. He alone can bring you peace and comfort. Turn to Him in this. I think sometimes He ordains these things so that we can draw closer to Him and see our need for Him. I pray you will find that peace and comfort. Blessings.

I absolutely live my life by this mantra. Moreso since I became pregnant with my son in the spring of 2009 and even stronger after a few events since then.

My husband and I had decided that we needed to be content with our lives "as is" for a few years and wait and see how the economy is and how we feel about a possible 4th child then. At the time, our 3rd child (and third daughter) was only 10 months old. Exactly one week later, I had a positive EPT. I cried and begged and pleaded with God to "please just take care of this" because there was no way I could possibly have another baby at that time. I was dealing with some PPD, finances were tight (to say the least) and we had no room for another baby, and moving was not an option. I have never been one to even consider abortion for myself, but in that moment, my husband and I had a very serious discussion for about 15 minutes. I prayed and prayed for God to "get rid of it." I was in a very very dark place. I carried my son to term, though I never emotionally bonded with the pregnancy; instead, I viewed it as just another situation to be dealt with. My son was born in November 2009 and obviously my entire attitude changed...as I knew in my heart it would. I told myself throughout the entire pregnancy that God would never give me more than I could handle, so I needed to trust in that and just keep moving forward.

When my son was 13 days old, I was putting him into the Snugli carrier and failed to secure it properly. He fell from my chest area (I'm 5'3") straight to the asphalt parking lot at the grocery store. He suffered a skull fracture and spent the next 36 hours in ICU. I prayed and cried the entire time (and I'm still tearing up as I type this), and again, I asked God to handle this. This time, my idea of "handling" was very different than the last time I had asked for it. His fall occurred on a Wednesday evening (right before Thanksgiving). I had spent so much time crying and praying and holding my son and telling him that everything would be ok that I had forgotten to tell myself that it would be ok. My "mountain top experience" came that Sunday as I sat in church listening to my pastor give his sermon. Coincedentally, his sermon was about the "mountain top experience." In that moment, I could no longer contain myself. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Of course everyone in the church was aware of what was going on, so I was surrounded with love and support and encouragement.

Though I had been "half" practicing the ideal of putting my troubles in God's hands, from that day on, He gets them all. Time after time, I have been shown in more ways than one that God povides for those who believe and have faith. Does he test our strength at times? Of course. The true test though, is how we respond during the rough times.

M.,
I have been through alot myself. Right now I am recovering from having 40 % of my lung removed. Just the latest in never ending trials.
But I have to say God does give us more or allow us to have more than we can handle! Otherwise, we wouldn't ask for HIs help or His peace that is beyond understaning.
Victoria

Sometimes I think that your suffering on earth is inversely proportional to your bounty in heaven. I just know of no other way to explain how some people-such as yourself-get so much grief in their life. It makes no sense.

M., a lot of people believe that saying to come from the Bible but unfortunately it does not. It is no where to be found in the Bible. BUT the Bible does say "God will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it.”—1 Cor. 10:13. So you will receive more than you can bear but if you lean on God He will give you a way to endure it. And also say "Put your cares on the Lord, and he will be your support; he will not let the upright man be moved." Psalm 55:22 and "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28.

God loves all of his children, even those who don't love Him and he sees that we struggle and we have hard times but He asks that we seek him and lay our burdens upon him and let Him handle them so that we may have internal peace.

I don't know if this has helped but know the Lord and God I serve loves you, accepts you and feels your pain and wants to help if you will allow Him.

You are in my prayers!
Katrina

God gets me through tough times. I've been through similar things you mentioned and I can see how God is blessing me even through difficult times. He gets me through hard times and blesses me for my troubles. At least, that's what it feels like to me sometimes. I lost two babies, lost my sister 3 years ago of an accidental shooting at age 32, lost my estranged dad a year later etc. I asked God to help me and trusted him fully. He is there and loves you very much. HUGS and prayers for you!!

I'm not sure if I believe in god, but I do believe in myself enough to know that I can get up tomorrow and just put one foot in front of the other. I believe that no matter what I want my kids to remember me as a good mom, so I do whatever I can to create those memories. I believe that even though sometimes it feels like I'll buckle under the load, someone will come and lend a hand if I put one out to steady myself. And I know that, even if I don't believe it, rain will stop, spring will come and that if I can just wait, things will get better. So that's what I lean on.

yes, I *do* believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, although I find myself agreeing with a quote that I think was attributed to Mother Teresa, which went something like, "I believe God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I wish He didn't trust me so much!" And having a group of wonderful ladies at my church women's group, whom I regularly study the Bible with and pray with and know I can trust with worries and prayer concerns, is one of the biggest things that reassures me that God gives me what I need to handle what I'm going through

I believe that if we are faithful to listen to God and follow His word that He equips us with what we need to be able to weather the storms that live brings our way. I believe it when the Bible says "In our weakness He is made stronger"...in other words, if we admit that we need to be able to lean on God, then He is faithful to be there with us and He makes it possible for us to continue to put one foot in front of another...until we come out on the other end. I believe that He sends other Christian brothers and sisters to
encourage us and pray for us...there are many challenges in life that I wouldnt have been able to survive if it weren't for the other faithful friends that have helped me.
My middle daughter became pregnant at 15...and gave her precious little girl up for adoption. Our Pastors' wife, who was already a dear friend and source of support and encouragement...was the person in charge of our local Crisis Pregnancy Center at the time....she was the one who kept my daughter and myself from completely losing our minds during this very trying time. She also helped my daughter make the final decision that the most loving thing was to place her daughter with a good solid Christian Family and she even helped her to find that family!!! You see....our Pastors wife had been through the very same thing when her daughter placed a son for adoption 15 years before!!! So you see...God placed her in our lives...in order to be the one to help us through that emotionally charged time in our lives!!!
Don't just look at the negative things that have happened in your lives...but concentrate on the GOOD things that have happened!!! You have 3 healthy children, you have a wonderful lifetime of memories of your brother to help ease the pain of your loss. Even though you didn't get to meet your biological Father in person you did get to know him, and learn some things about him before he passed away.
What is the old saying....Without the valleys how could we enjoy the mountain tops?? So...concentrate on enjoying your mountain tops and keep looking to God to be you guide!!!

.

I firmly believe that, yes, but right now is the hardest point of my life, ever, and I wonder how I'm going to get through it! I guess that since I believe it, I have to pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep going, knowing that God knows me better than I know myself, and so he obviously thinks I'm stronger than I feel.

The other thing I have to do is look back at my life just a few years ago and see how much stronger I am. I love the analogy that we are a cute little cottage in need of a makeover. When we give our lives over to God, we are prepared for a few changes here and there. We expect a new coat of paint a few repairs, so it's baffling and painful when he starts knocking down walls and tearing up the floors. Why is this happening? Why would he do that? I thought He loved me? But what we can't see is His vision for us. He knows we can be so much more than a cute little cottage. His renovation is going to make us into a palace.

I am at a very low point in my life, feeling like my trial of almost 9 years is never going to end, and I don't know how I can handle it even one day longer. I pray for deliverance, even though I know it won't happen soon. But despite not wanting to get out of bed, or even caring whether I eat or not, the one thing I can see is that I am far, far stronger, more compassionate, more understanding, and more mature emotionally and spiritually than anyone else I know at my age. Hard things make us better and stronger. Just yesterday, I prayed to give thanks for the lessons I've learned, although I made sure to let Him know that I really didn't enjoy the process of learning them ;)

God puts us through a series of events. We are put through them to make us stronger so we can help others. It's all about what we do for others and not about what we do for ourselves. God has our backs and wants us to have other's backs. The schooling we go through to get there is not like any man-made school that's for sure. The spiritual world is a completely different entity than what we deal with in the flesh, but what we deal with in the flesh totally helps us with our spiritual struggle to know God.

I remember saying I thought GOD had me confused with someone else !
Yes life has struggles, many of them. There are some things we have no control over ......such as the death of a loved one.
I found God was my rock and that he surrounded my by so many pebbles to see me through. I am blessed to have one of the greatest support systems of friends, family and yes even strangers.
Now I feel I can use my experience to help others and I know that regardless what is thrown at me I can overcome.
(I lost my mother almost 8 years ago while we were fighting for my husbands life with cancer also. He survived 7 years after he was given only 6 monhs to live. fighting to win adoption of the child I had been guardian of for almost the same amount of time etc, etc, etc,)
There were times I thought I could not take another thing thrown my way....and something else tragic would happen.......and I would become stronger. Church people reached out to me etc and I was blessed - still am even after all my loses!
hang in there ! You can do it! If for no other reason than because your children need you too!!!

I think that you have been through a lot ~ and it seems that you are handling it well. I would suggest that you continue reading that verse, and finish it. The end of it says "With God's Help"!! God will NEVER give me more than I can handle WITH HIS HELP!! - He wants us to call on him and look to him for guidance and support. He will bring people into our lives to help us through situations, and he will use you to help others get through situations that they are facing. Hold Fast!!

Well, I actually do believe that life can give us more than we can handle and those are the times God wants us to ask Him for help because once we are willing to give Him a place in our lives, He can work things out beyond our wildest dreams. I really do believe this and I have seen it work in my life. Sometimes I have seen it work very S_L_O_W_L_Y and in those times I have actually learned so much more than I ever expected and have become stronger.

When I turned 30 I was heartbroken because the man I hoped to marry had died some years before, so I can relate to your present sorrow. I was very sad to be going to a new decade in my life without him. It is so hard when you have so many heartaches to recall. I pray you are comforted in your time of mourning.

Hi M. R.
What a nice question!! Thanks.

As someone who was not saved until she was in her 30s I am able to look back and realize that God has never given me more than I can handle. That even when I did not accept Him, He was there for me.

My life has had a lot of ups and down, but all in all I have had a blessed life. I have family and friends, the ability to take of myself and my wonderful son.

Currently I have been unemployed for the past 6 months, despite applying for about 5 jobs a week and going on countless interviews. This is the longest I have even been unemployed in my life and it freaks me out. BUT, because God has been good to me and provided for me, very well, in the past decade I have money in savings and retirement and the ability to still pay my bills. Oh, its gonna run out sooner than later now, but I have faith that when the time is right, I will have a job. It may not be my dream job, but it will take of my son and I.

I just believe that we need to listen a little more closely when times are rough so we don't miss His message in the chaos.

I don't believe that God gives us anything. Stuff happens and we deal with it as best we can. Sometimes we deal with it well, sometimes we deal with it poorly.

It seems as if you've had more than your fair share of adversity. My father passed just over 3 years ago as well and near the anniversary of his death I find myself thinking similar thoughts. I think that whatever makes you feel good and helps you get through the day is what it's all about. I do believe in God, but I don't believe that He is up there being puppet master to everyone's life and don't necessarily agree with the statement you mentioned. But, like I said, if that helps you or someone else then more power to you (or them!;) It sounds like you're a strong woman who continues to plug along for the sake of yourself and your family. You should be applauded for the efforts you've made and for seeing the good things, which it sounds like you do. I'm sorry for all your loss and with your brother's anniversary upon you soon I hope that you will remember him fondly. I believe he is with you and I believe he is with your other children and your father...that I do believe and I hope you find comfort in your thoughts.

I think if that were true, there would be no suicides. But you can certainly choose to get help from a community, church, circle of friends/family, professional, or wallow in the misery. I don't think many people can get through the worst times alone.
I'm sorry you've had such a hard time in your life :(

I do believe in God and have a strong faith that gets me through a lot but I've stopped telling myself that He won't give me more than I can handle bc I choose to take Him out of the equation of my pain vs happiness. I create and steer myself in those directions and its my own power to react to and do with my pain or situations what I will that is a deciding factor, and God will accept me either way.

What I believe is that; if I cannot endure the bad then I will never live to see the good.

Reason being: if I have never suffered, then how do I know what blessings to be thankful for? How tragic it would be to have so much and not understand their worth?

So really, tragedy, illness, struggle, trials, perpetual agony and not ever knowing when you will EVER see the light.... are all blessings in disguise.

Without all of that pain, we will never recognize the good, the improvement, the up & up, smile on a frown. You wouldn't notice strength if you've never been weak. You wouldn't know or appreciate health if you've never been sick.

.... and so on.

:-)

I have had WAY more in my life then one person should have to endure!! I look back at all of this and I can pinpoint each thing and the reason it needed to happen. I was in a car accident and suffered brain damage when I was twelve years old and worked hard to get where I am today. That was a great turning point in my life. I was shy before the accident and I was very intimidated by life itself. I am now a very happy person, comfortable in my skin, and embrace life. I could say that this accident was my platform to build my life. I believe that God does not close a door unless he opens a window. Sometimes we have to look hard to find that open window but it will be there. When my grandfather was dying in the hospice I told him that he could be my guardian angel. I have had two car accidents in the past month and nobody was hurt. I totalled my SUV on the black ice over Christmas and a month later I T-boned a car in the fog. Someone has got me covered!! I love my grandfather lots (even in heaven he is watching) and he has been through a lot with me.

Sorry for all you have been through. I do often say myself God wont give us more than we can handle. I also look at my son and realize I cant stop he needs me . That is what keeps me going! I hope things get better for you! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Wow, you have been through a lot for such a young age but the key word is "been". You have made it through it all with grace and poise. What helped you in those times? God? That is where I gather my strength although sometimes I don't even realize that is where it came from until after the storm. It certainly does help to have a support system of friends that can help too. Having had many deaths in my life, I find a free support group from my local hospice helpful when dealing with the anniversary of my loved one's death. I also have made 1 or 2 good friends at church since I have no family near by either. They help just like a sister or brother would. God will see you through everything! I can say that with 100% certainty. He will NEVER let you down, he promised that! It won't be easy but even He can use our weak moments and turn them around to make us stronger! I wish we lived closer because I wish I could be of more help to you. Good luck.

Hi there,

I know I'm late in answering & I'm not reading your other answers right now because I'm at work, lol!

I totally believe we're not given more than we can handle. Looking back on some of the things that I've been through I am surprised that I was able to get through them, but I know that I'm a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, employee, just a better person in general for having survived my own trials and tribulations.

For me, I am not an optomistic person by nature, it's a choice I decided to make when I was in my late 20's & was fed up with my own gloom & doom attitude. It's not always easy, things go wrong, surprises happen, not always good ones, but we dig deep & know that we're smart enough & strong enough to get through whatever is thrown at us. I also know that once I get through one thing, something else will probably happen, but that's all part of life.

If you try to concentrate on all the wonderful, beautiful, amazing things you already have in your life, that's what it's all about!

No, I don't believe that. Only because I don't believe God gives all that trauma to us. I believe the trauma comes form improper use of the "free will" he has given us and from Satan, himself.

With that being said, I DO believe that He will help us through it ALL as long as we are willing to allow Him to. The people that don't get through it well are the ones that are not truly willing to lean on Him and listen to Him. When I think of the troubles I face (especially right now for me, too).......I turn me thoughts to Job (in the Bible). He is my inspiration through the troubling times.

I guess I do believe this, but to be "devil's advocate" for a moment...(not to mention I'm feeling a bit bitter these days)...what is our choice if we ARE given more than we "think" we can handle? (Because when it comes down to it...we really have no choice. Life happens, we must handle it...the only other option is to "quit" which, for me, isn't an option.)
Think about it...

"Do not feel the strain of life. There is no strain for My children. Do you not see that I am a Master Instrument-maker? Would I, the maker of so delicate an instrument, ask of it anything that could destroy or strain? No! The strain is only when you are serving another master, the world, fame, the good opinion of men- or carring two days' burden on the one day. Remember that it must not be."
This is taken from a book that I am currently reading by A.J. Russell- "God Calling". So true, M., that as long as you truly trust in the Lord, and carry only the burden of ONE DAY at a time, you will prevail in all of life's difficulties. Life in Him is not immunity FROM difficulies, but peace IN difficulties. Joy is the result of faithful trusting acceptance of His Will, when It seems NOT joyous.

Phewww yes, you have been through a lot... God has allowed tough situations in our lives to make us stronger.. try to look back and see why you maybe went through something difficult... or think "i wouldn't have been able to do ___ if it weren't for going through that".

We go to church EVERY sunday and most wednesday nights.. we play on an interfaith volleyball league and fellowship with other believers pretty regularly. It really helps! ALSO going to Christian concerts where there are speakers... They have usually gone through WAY more than we have... do a search online for inspirational speakers... there are so many with stories that make yours seem tiny!

God Bless YOU! AND, yes he he won't give you more than you can handle... sometimes (well most of the times) we THINK that we can't handle something but we are REALLY STRONGER than we care to believe!

This is an answer... two fold.

I think that when what you had gone through is happening you're too involved to do anything but just get through. Do you ever find yourself looking back going, gosh! how did I do that?! Because you are a responisble adult who did the best for you and your family.

It sounds like even though the tough hand you have been dealt, your faith and family has been your rock. I think a lot of people deal with similar situations, but don't have the courage like you do to talk about it.

I believe that if people had more faith in each other and themselves like you do, the whole world would be better off :)

best wishes

I believe in God but I don't believe in some old man sitting in heaven dictating our lives and "giving" us situations. I believe a number of incredibly enlightened individuals have lived and do/will live on this earth who are on a higher plane than most, but I don't believe in "one messiah." I believe we all are a piece of God; that God is the largest and highest energy; that God experiences everything through us; and that we are each our own messiah. I believe we save ourselves-or not, but that is what reincarnation is for. Once you become one of those higher individuals, you achieve nirvana, or ultimate heaven, and you don't have to come back anymore. Personally, I think that's when the world will end - when the last soul finally achieves nirvana and all of God's energy is once again contained in one place. I also think this what ultimately created the big bang & the start of our universe as we know it. As far as handling tough things in this life, I feel we're meant to learn something deep about ourselves, loved ones and human nature. I let my natural reactions happen, look for the lesson(s), and try to figure the best way out to move on and up.