Do You & Hubby Have a Particular Difficult Time of Year Every Year?

Yup, us too. October. (April is another doozie of a month.)

I have a new (cheesy) affirmation. October is when our blessings wear their best costumes.

Every October, we enter a massive transition. I've gone in kicking and screaming (hey, change might be inevitable, constant, and necessary, but I don't *like* it;-), but I've come out stronger and more whole every time. The sky wasn't actually falling, I was just learning to fly and I'm CLUMSY!!!

I hope November brings good tidings. If not, there's always Tom Waits.

Hi MamaLucky, My husband and I seem to always get in auguments close to our annivarsary, have no idea why but is has always been that way, or when stressful tims come like my dad is in hospice right now and we didn't have an argument lst night, I said something and he took it wrong, and we have been married for 30 years. So you are not alone. J.

We have a bit of a hard time that spills over around the holidays that have expectations involved, like Valentines and our anniversary, but It's not too bad. The only time of year we really had a problem with used to be around new years. It was his anniversary of his first marriage (and divorce, how awful a person do you have to be dto do that to someone). And for our first few years it was ugly. Especially the one that would have been their tenth.

My husband has cyclothymia, a mild form of bi-polar depression. His bad times of the year followed a pattern for many years. He is on medication and uses a light box so that has helped a lot in the past 12 months.

October was always a really rough month for us too, which really stinks because our anniversary is in October. For him I think the change of seasons is a trigger - he really, really needs sunlight to function and getting up when it's barely light out and having it be dark by dinner time are hard on him. The light box has helped a lot with this. In our marriage, the bad cycles would last about 6 weeks so normally he was better by Thanksgiving and could hold it together through the December holidays, which was always a relief.

Our other predictable bad time of year was February - almost all of our Valentine's days have been a disaster. This has sometimes spilled over into March and April, making for very tense spring holidays (Easter, Passover and 2 of our kids birthdays).

Things are definitely getting better over the years - during the worst year, I spent 3 weekends in a row outside with 4 small kids trying to do yard clean up and rake leaves while my husband spent those days in bed with the shades down. Other than going to work and picking up the kids, he stayed in bed and totally ignored all of us for almost a month.

You're definitely not the only one!

christmas time dec because alot of birthdays, buying christmas payin bills money is always bad around hoildays and birthdays:( but we always pull it off:) good luck!!!!!

Pre-Christmas.
Whenever that starts (start planning gift purchases and making holiday plans for travel or not, etc).

We have a convoluted extended family on one side, and some of them are extremely generous with gift giving, to the point that it makes me feel uncomfortable not spending $$ on them. But they don't NEED nor want anything. Hubby always wants to give them something, but they aren't the "typical" family you would buy for (grands and cousins-meaning sibling children)-- it's more like 2nd tier cousins (hubby's cousins) and THEIR kids and adult friends AND their kids and grandkids.

I am not stingy. But I am also keenly aware of the expense of doing this every year. And really, how many years in a row can you give a personalized (with all the grandkids' names on it) pillow/blanket/Xmas ornament/Xmas plate, etc to a grandparent? And if you don't, isn't it unusual to buy and give gifts to the husband and the wife separately as adults? Wouldn't a "joint" gift be more appropriate? And what? She sews, he golfs? And then aren't we somehow subtly implying that we expect a gift from them as well?
I'd rather just go to dinner with them.... maybe they would too? But hubby EXPECTS EVERY YEAR to buy and give them an actual PRESENT. I gave up arguing about it, but it still annoys me. October rolls around and every year, the first gift idea he has is something for this couple. Not our kids. Not the cousins. Not the grandparents. I love this couple dearly, don't get me wrong. I just wonder if it is over the top. Hubby has some attachment issues from his childhood and really puts a LOT of himself into being a good friend for those he loves/respects. And gets very "hurt" if he feels like someone is pulling away. (I wonder if they feel smothered.)..... But we do this every. year. (sigh).
So, yeah.... pre-Christmas is always tough.... it really does end up amounting to putting a dollar figure on the relationships we have, a lot of the time. (Budget is x$, we have these people to buy gifts for, so __ gets x$ of the budget). yuck.