Do Step Parents Have the Right to Sign Documents?

I am the stepmother. I took my stepdaughter to get her hair cut because it couldn't even be brushed. We cut off about 4 inches. It was still long enough to go in a ponytail. The "real" mother never even tells her to wash her hair much less put's it in a ponytail for her. THe mother told me she loved it and told my husband it better never happen again. Since then I have taken her several more times for trims, ect. If she won't do it, I will.
As for the report card, I have signed my step-daughters before.

I sign my stepdaughters paperwork all the time and never had anyone question it. As long as your listed on the school paperwork as a guardian it should be fine. My stepdaughter lives with us and her mother is the worse. She expects me to call and get her permission to do anything regarding Kiersten, but I just ignore it and do what I think is best she doesn't pay us any child support anyway, I mean in reality they need their hair cut to keep it healthy right?

As a step mom, I'd say absolutely whatever is in the best interest of the child...unfortunately, sometimes what is in the best interest of the child is not what is "interesting" to the natural parents (mom)...especially if you are living with them. I would agree with Michele R's post about copying ALL those involved. (oops...just re-read your post...got my opinion in this part...but fact below) :)

As a teacher, I can tell you that according to FERPA (privacy for students) laws, ANY adult that has an interest in the education of a child has the right to their records. That INCLUDES all step parents (whether they live with the child or not), even aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents who live with the child.

I always, always say that being a step mom is/has been the hardest role I have ever had.

You didn't say if the daughter lives with you. If she does live with you then you have more rights than if she does not because you are a custodial parent. I do tend to agree that you should not sign medical releases and other documents that are legally binding. Those decisions should be made by her father and/or her mother.

As for getting her hair cut, again, you did not explain what is going on there. Is her hair unruly? Does she want to cut her hair? Is she of an age to make that decision? Hair is hair and it does grow back, but you would be amazed at how big a deal some people make of it. If you are having to maintain her hair and it is costing you time and effort or causing the child to have issues with it, then have it cut. If it is just personal preference and not the child's choice, then leave it alone.

You have to pick your battles and compromise is a big deal when it comes to step parents and parents. Don't let little things creep up on you and cause issues between you and the child's mother. This can trickle down to the daughter.

Jodi

I am a step-mom and a step-child. My step-parnet always signed stuff when I was in school. It is fine as long as you are married to the child's dad.

I don't sign stuff unless completely necessasary, only b/c I know it will cause a war. I just make sure my husband signs it.

Hair cuts...my step-daughters mother believes in only cutting hair on the rise of the full moon. She believes the hair will grow back faster. (I am not supersticious so it makes no difference to me when you cut your hair) Well one time my step-daughters hair was so bad, split ends, bangs in face, she looked like an orphan...so I took her, with her dad's permission to have her hair trimmed. Her mother was LIVID b/c it was not on the rise of the full moon and it 'was not our job'. Long story short, we set her straight. She now knows that if she doesn't cut my step-daughters hair in a timly manor, regardless of the moon, then we are getting it cut.

Pick your battles, for sure.

T.,

I'm a step mom also. I will only say - "pick your battles" is right. It also really depends on the mom - is she the type who won't mind - or the type to let it come up continually over time? Mine - is the always dangle over your head type - she would throw a fit if my husband even took our daughter to get a hair cut. She wants to be 100% in control at all times! We are currently in the little to no communication stage.... NOT FUN! Not good for the child...but, remember that the children could also be playing a role in any topics that are an issue....it's unfortunate...but a reality.

GOOD LUCK!!!

My son's step mother Always signed his report cards when my son was in their custody and Always made me a copy.

As far as the hair cut thing I Always took my son to get his hair cut and if they wanted to take to take I was usually okay with it as long as they kept it around the same style but I guess it is different if you have a girl.

I was always the one that took care of the haircuts until my son was old enough to decide on how he wanted to get his haircut, That's just what we did.

I am a custodial step-parent and have been for the last 10 years. I have always signed papers. I do not sign binding documents that only a parent should sign (medical releases). I do not know the laws on that, but it was just something I felt their father should sign. I have attended parent conferences, etc, but that is because the girls have always lived with my husband and myself. We have just always made copies of the report cards for their mother and always made her aware of what was going on at school. When we were in a car accident, I did sign all the hospital paperwork. The girls are on my insurance for dental and my husband's medical. I am considered a legal representative of the girls as my husband's wife.

As for haircuts and such, we have always been the one to pay for the cuts so we have taken the girls. Their mother has not had a problem with this. If she is preventing you from cutting her hair, then she needs to be responsible and take her for the cut and pay for it.

When the girls were old enough to shave, I spoke to the mother and asked her if she wanted to be the one to do this for the first time with her daughters. She opted to do this with the older one, but the second one she said it was fine for me to help her.

I don't know if this helps, but I wanted to share my experience.

I just cut first and answer questions later. Just keep smiling, get a professional to cut and keep the topic changing. What's she going to do, sue?
Especially if the child wants shorter hair, I would move forward with the haircut.
C. S.