Do People REALLY Think Their Kids Are Perfect?

It depends on how you define ‘perfect’. I think my kids are perfect = perfectly annoying and irritating at times, have perfected meltdowns, whining and tantrums, have perfected guilt trips and big sad eyes, but they are perfectly adorable, loving and kind too! My kids are perfectly well rounded! LOL!!!

NO kid is perfect! They ALL have their issues, of O. type or another.

I think anyone that thinks their child is perfect is either:
1. Delusional
2. In Denial
or
3. Lying to themselves.

I only know O. perfect person that ever existed, and his initials are J.C.

I adore my son, but he's not perfect nor would I want him to be! Could you imagine how boring and uninteresting the world would be if no one ever did something silly or without thinking?

My son will be 3 soon and he says things that aren't nice, does things to be sneaky, has meltdowns, etc... but that's what he's made to do- make mistakes and learn from them.

If people generally think that their children are perfect, then I would guess that they have no idea what their kids actually do all day long and have seriously rose-colored glasses on every minute of every day.

People who claim that are delusional.

NO ONE is perfect. I love my daughter dearly but she has faults, just like I do.

Delusional ones, yes! :)

I've learned, since becomming a parent, that people fall into 2 categories. People that thinks their kids are perfect, and magical, and brilliant, and amazing...blah, blah, blah.

And people that live in reality.

I've learned that I'm in the latter group, and that I really don't need to have to conversation with those in the other group.
When I meet someone, if at least 1 of the first 3 stories they tell me about their kids isn't funny, then we're not on the same "plane". :)

No way. No one can be perfect and I would hope no parent would expect their child to be perfect. Or to put pressure on their children by calling them perfect.

The goal is for reach person to be the best THEY can be. That means kindness, honesty and work ethic. We say this all of the time to our daughter. Just do your best. We also sometimes tell her to not be so hard on herself.

Our daughter is a total combination of me and my husband, that means she has to overcome our way below level intelligence. We excelled in fun. I have a terrible temper.. daughter can too. My husband puts off doing certain things, our daughter can do that too. She is super messy. She also can be so shy she appears to be uninterested. Not perfect, but a perfect daughter for us..

Heck no my kids aren't perfect. But I am!

LOL

My children are by no means perfect ~ but I love them to pieces for the people that they are. If I raised them to believe they were perfect I feel I would be doing them a huge injustice.

Ha! Great question. Well, MY children were perfect, and the reason I know that is because the Christmas letters we sent out always said so.

But if you really believe it, I've got a bridge to sell you.

We truly want to see the good in our children. We want to help them see the good things in themselves. It's very important.

Sometimes we sound as if we're saying, "My children, right or wrong" - sort of a protective, mama-bear thing. That seems to be in style right now. We don't like to hear bad stuff about our children (how dare you criticize my child!). We also don't like to talk about the bad stuff because it's a reflection on our children's mamas. It takes a great deal of humility - more than I have often had, I admit - to say, "My son - whom I would die for, now and always - is developing some problems, and I can't blame them on his dad, his grandparents, his teachers, or his peers."

I am not perfect so wouldn't think our children would be.

I didn't see the other post, but I don't think you can be "too proud" of your child's accomplishments. However, I think it's wrong to give your child the idea that they are good at something they are not. That's why you get all those people on American Idol thinking they are great singers! They had moms and dads telling them they were great when they weren't and it gave them a big letdown and a reality check.

From working with parents and kids for so many years, I LOVE the parents who encourage and are proud of their children no matter what they do in competitions. Even if they fall down or get last place, I love seeing them telling their kid that they are proud that they just went out there and gave it their best.

I dislike the parents who think their kids do no wrong, and I think that's what you are talking about. There is a difference between being proud of your child even if they finished last, and BLAMING someone else or acting like your child was perfect and shouldn't have finished last. The first accepts that your child didn't do as good as the other kids but loving them unconditionally and being proud anyway. The second doesn't acknowledge the fact that others were better that day and someone should see the perfection that you do.

I do know a mom whose child hit another child repeatedly until they had to be pulled apart and her child was removed from the competition. Then the mom DENIED that it happened, even though it happened right in front of her and everyone else! She saw! Everyone saw! She claimes her child was being "friendly." When she was removed from the competition she blamed the other child and the adult that pulled them apart. This woman thinks her children are perfect and won't allow another teacher or anyone to say anything against them. When they don't finish first, it's because of some other reason.

I'm proud of my child no matter what she does as long as she's trying and having fun. But I'm not happy with her if she breaks rules, hurts others etc. I try to let her know that her father and I will ALWAYS be proud of anything she tries, but when she's doing contests and such sometimes there are others that will be better than her. And if she wants something, we will support her in any way we can.

Well, here is the thing. We don't really have anything to do with what they look like, how cute they are, how smart they are, or how brilliant and talented they are. Perfect is relative...my diabled child is perfect, but flawed, as is everyone. Pefect is loving them even though they have faults. Perfect is learning to be either humble when we get the cream of the crop or accepting when we don't, and being grateful without depending on good fourtune in the gift you get.

Outcome is the least of our real gilfts in life.

M.

PS: Manda, I am with you...if someone does not tell me something funny in the first few minutes, or we can't laugh together, I know that I am too imperfect for them!

.

I didn't read the other post...

It comes from the saying that love is blind... My inlaws think a certain grandkid can do no wrong, while another can do no right...

I know my kids aren't perfect. However, they put on different shows depending on who's around. The first time someone sees my daughter get her attitude on they are completely shocked. I just give them the 'told you so' look.

Its like the cute puppy in the window... he's perfect until you come home one day and he's dug a huge hole in your garden, or chewed the coffee table.
M.

Well, I'll put it THIS way....

My kids ARE damn near PERFECT, for ME

For someone else?Maybe not so much!

And that's as it should be, wouldn't you say?

BAHAHA Denise P, my oldest son's intials are JC! tehehe

:)

Mine are perfectly imperfect ;-D. They are perfect in a sense that I would not change a thing about them. That said, there are certain venues that I dare not think to take my littlest human to.

I saw that thread too. I think it is one thing to be proud of your kid but it's another thing to be realistic. I've come across people in my daily living whose children can do no wrong -- in their eyes at least. Whether they truly do believe that their children are really these superior human beings who can never make any mistakes or they are trying to project this kind of public persona for ego gratification, I will never know.

All I know is that I am very proud of my two children. They work very hard, they learn from their mistakes, they are just very nice kids. But they aren't perfect. I don't know if they will ever attain perfection because that is a very subjective state. I do know that they are kids, and as kids, they will meet certain challenges that they will either learn a lesson from or not: lying, cheating, stealing, selfishness, drugs, gossip, etc. My role is their mom is to know that, although I love them with my whole heart, they are just human and need me to guide them through these lessons so that they can hopefully have a good life for themselves when I am no longer around, and I can't do that with my blinders (of love) on.

Just my two cents. . .

The way I think about it is, my son is perfect for me. I know he may not be perfect in the dictionary sense of the word, but to me he is perfect, faults and all. :)

perfection is in the eye of the beholder

There probably are people who think their kids are perfect. I'm not one of them, and don't know anyone who thinks theirs are, though. I AM VERY proud of my children, however. And I am not a shy violet about saying so. I do try to be aware of the person(s) I am talking with though, and not say something insensitive ("my child is SO GREAT at piano/karate/computers/and scores above scale on every standardized test" when their child can't read/write/ etc at grade level, for example). Most of my mom friends/acquaintances know their children have both strengths and weaknesses. I have found that there are both sides of this conversation. One is when the parents are focused on how great their kids is doing b/c they are really proud, and the other is when their kid is really screwing up at something or struggling, and no one else seems to know their struggles. It sometimes almost seems like one-up-manship no matter which way you go... but usually I think it is really just venting that has strayed...

I don't know if I really think mine are perfect as much as I can forgive and forget just about anything they do because I love them unconditionally. This unconditional love does not always apply to everyone else's kids! lol!

my kids are perfect angels :)NOT they are perfect to me but they dohave thier faults and I do realize that. I dont expect miracles out of them. some people honestly believe their kids are perfect with no faults but the bad thing with that is when reality slaps them in the face and they figure out they arent perfect the kids have to accept that the hard way.

There is a difference between being actually perfect and a parent seeing their child as perfect. There is not one single human being on this earth that is PERFECT but there are actually two ways a parent may see their child as perfect. One is those that live w/ "rose colored glasses" and are often in denial. The other is actually quite healthy....they accept their children for who/what they are and don't try to change them because they are "perfect just the way they are".

my kids are so perfect i want to bang my head on the wall when they are throwing one of their "perfect" fits or "perfectly" whining :). my kids are great, compassionate, crazy funny, but can i tell you, if they were perfect, how boring would life be?

when worded this way, of course most sensible people will say 'of course not.' lots of people will say so tongue-in-cheek, or with caveats like 'she is perfectly herself, and that is just how i want her to be.'
but if someone else starts criticizing our kids, we mostly default quickly to 'how DARE you say or even think that about my cherub!!!!????'
;) khairete
S.

My son has faults just like me and his dad. I do however think that he is the cutest boy EVER!!!!!!! If you don't believe me, go and look at my profile picture ;)
I second Bug's second paragraph. He's perfect to me and for me, but as the world see's him? He's a mama's boy through and through. Which I love and wouldn't have it any other way. To each their own.

I don't think I read the post or the responses to it yet, but no one is perfect. There are some very well behave kids out there. Mine can be when they want to be, more so in public than at home. No way do I think my kids are anyone else's are perfect. Who is perfect? I am proud of my children and their achievements and I do let them know. I don't brag about them, but I do have mommy moments when I have to give them praise and I think parents should. I work with a bunch of ladies and we have proud mommy moments, that we share with each other. I don't think any of us think we are bragging in a bad way, we are just having a proud mommy moment. We also talk about how are children make us want to pull our hair out.

But to answer your questions, I'm sure there are some naive people out there that think their child is perfect, but I think most parents know that their kids aren't, but are still pretty good kids overall.

I think my son is AMAZING and has very wonderful, and unique qualities. However, he is not perfect...just like every other human on earth. If I fail to recognize the things he may be a bit weaker in, then I am failing him as a parent. I would never work on him in those areas, offer him encouragement when he tries to strengthen them, and build up his strong points. I am also not preparing him for the world.

He is the perfect son, to ME. But, he is not perfect to the world. I love him unconditionally and he knows that. He always will. He also needs to know the world won't think he's perfect. I believe you can teach a child that in very gentle, honest, nurturing ways. I refuse to set up my son for failure. If he went through his life believing he could do everything perfectly, he would surely crash and burn. I will encourage him to do everything his very best, take him down the paths his strengths are, and encourage him to overcome anything he struggles with. He will NOT think he is perfect to anyone but his family.

No, my children are definitely NOT perfect!!! I wish! ;) But I love them no matter what.

I think even my kids weak points are great, i thought feeling like this was normal.

I could talk about my kids and how perfect i think they are all day.

I don't think mom's believe their kids are perfect (at least not that I know) I am sure even my very "perfect" aunt knows her daughter's imperfections. But unless I need advice, why I would go around their imperfections when is so much more to talk about of their adorable stuff?
I don't get annoyed when moms tell me how grate their kids are (I can always say I need to go to check on my perfect kids too), it took me being a mom to understand one. But you know what annoy me? The women that put her self (not only her kids) her kids, her life, her family, her decisions, etc, etc, etc PERFECT. Those one I don't even want to see, lol.

I am in the camp of "My kid IS perfect. She's exactly who and what she should be at all times." Sometimes, of course, that means dropping to the floor screaming at the top of her lungs. But that is just part of being 2 1/2. Perfectly 2 1/2. Later, I'm sure, she's going to tell me she hates me, slam doors, and be a generally miserable teenager. And she'll be perfectly 14.

Everybody is perfect, nobody acts perfectly all the time.

I think it's fine to love our kids and think they're "perfect" as they are, but I also think there is a difference between that and having unreasonable expectations or setting our kids up for that as well.
Heck, nobody's perfect, that's my mantra.
It doesn't mean a kid doesn't have to try or having room for improvement in some things is a bad thing. You don't want to think "nobody's perfect" to the point you just throw your hands up about everything, but the idea of "perfection" can be a really tough thing to feel you have to achieve at all times.
There is a happy medium, to be sure.

Anyway, just my opinion.

Well, I think it's evolutionary psychology. Isn't it much better to think of your kids as perfect and blessings, instead of annoying and a burden? What parent would take care of kids that are considered burdens? It's all in the minds, and sometimes, it can be a good thing, so long as we're objective about it.

haha!! No way. My kiddos aren't perfect...but they are the cutest ;-)

As a teacher I often hear how smart children are. Of course their are some kids I can see for my self how smart they are and dont need to be told!

I'd have to go back and look at my answer to the other post, but in my mind I always think that my daughter is perfect (to me) just the way she is. She isn't without weak points - nobody is. She is capable of doing wrong although it's rare for her (some parents fail to see this in their own kids unfortunately). I very often tell her that she's exactly the little girl I always dreamed of having and she is. Off topic - I had a very unhappy childhood and continue to be disappointed in my parents (yes, still). She is the happy delightful child I feel I never was. She wakes up like sunshine every day and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

No, my kids are not perfect, but they make my life perfect. They're my little extension and then some. My husband sometimes asks me if he remembers when we did this and that (pre-kids era),and frankly, I don't look fondly at anything that we did pre-kids. It's like something was missing. And now I know what, my two loves.

Yes, my kids are perfect! I'm just kidding, I know they're not perfect and that's ok. I do think that most parents exaggerate when talking about their kids. We all want everyone else to think our kids are perfect.

check out my blog typemommy.blogspot.com

If I were to use the word "perfect" to describe my children, it would be meaning that they are the perfect additions to our family. All of their strengths and weaknesses, good days and bad days, smiles and tantrums, make them wonderfully unique people. Even though they make mistakes, I love them unconditionally. Maybe it's that our love for our children is "perfect," not the child themselves. But they seem perfect to ME, because they are lovable no matter what to ME... but I do realize that certain behaviors and traits are not lovable, or even likeable by others. When my children make mistakes, I want to be their safe place to fall... and for them to know that they are just who they are meant to be, and in that way, they are "perfect."

Um...some semantic issues here.

My kids are not perfect people and aren't going to be perfect adults, but they are "perfect as they are" to me. By that, I do not mean that they they are never wrong or wrong-headed. I do try to guide them to be more kind, more empathetic, more capable.

So....I mean I love them unconditionally AS THEY ARE - no matter what. And I don't want them to ever change what's at their "core" to please someone else or fit in.

I have a bit of a tight-rope walk with the word perfect. DH was raised to believe he was "perfect" (never wrong, everyone should defer to him, praise him, etc.) and if I'd realized it when we were dating, I might not have married him! Somehow some men can hide this side of themselves until they have a commitment. I am NOT raising my boys to be that way!

I try not to use the word "perfect" with my boys. But it comes down to this: They are NOT "perfect" in their behavior and should never assume I'd take their side in all things, but they ARE perfect in my heart....medical needs, silly drama, speech delays and all.

My son is perfectly imperfect. God who would want a perfect kid? A happy kid works for me :)

Amelia V. posted exactly what I was thinking. I know my kids are textbook perfect, but are perfect to me in all the ways that count to a mommy.

Wow, this seems a hot button issue for people. I think noone thinks their kid is perfect, just like noone who slams their husband believes he is completely worthless. It's an exaggeration based on focus on either the good or the bad. Also all kids are different, all parents are different, etc...
Some kids may require less teaching and attention and some more. Let's not get so catty about this. It is great to be proud of your child and want to tell the world you are proud of them. There is also a point where you have to stop and realize no one wants to listen to you if you have become really annoying and you sound like you are bragging. Some of us may take it too personally and compare our kids. We're all different with all different personalities, but one thing we have in common- WE ARE NOT PERFECT :P We're all ONLY HUMAN :)