Do Moms Not like Me Because of How I Look? Sorry So Long!

It may also be a stereotype thing... not that that's any better! Maybe she felt she's dealt with "women who looked like you before" and decided not to give you a chance. It's awful, but people tend to remember their experiences with similar types of people and group them together, never realizing that the person in front of them could be nothing like what they perceive.

Sorry you're dealing with that! I think we all do, to some extent, no matter what we look like.

I woulds be friend with you, maybe even would hope for some hand-me downs :) . Some people are intimated or pre-judge.

Oh geez. I would think, it's a vibe you're putting off. I am very thin and have a large chest...and I guess...some people have been "jealous" that I bounced back from my pregnancy and look the same. Just now, is the fist time I've ever thought about it, which is why I say I guess. It sounds like you think about it a lot...and feel this way a lot...and assume this way a lot. You are probably unapproachable and perhaps come across like you know you look good. (which means, people might assume you're conceited. Whether it's true or not.) I don't admire that trait in people. Maybe, they don't either? I don't mean to sound harsh towards you....just my honest opinion.

That makes me sad, but you are probably right. Know that some of us get the same stuff because we are not attractive. I would be happy to be your friend because friendship is based on what goes on in our heads and our lives, and that never looks at us.

Hope you find some Mom friends.
M.

Jealous? No. Intimidated? Maybe.

If they judge by looks you don’t want to be their friend anyway. Better to find out now than later.

BTW- I was curious if you had a profile picture so I could see what you look like and you don't. Darn ;)

Wow, I am so sorry this is happening.. Some women can be so j judgmental of other women.. I do not know why.

Our daughter attended a elementary school that had a reputation for being "exclusive".. I made sure to join the PTA and to be ACTIVE, I told the teacher I would help in any way possible.. I also spoke with the librarian, again told her I would help with inventory at the end of the school year and any other projects she needed.. When the office did a shout out for helpers, I volunteered.

I would then introduce myself to everybody volunteering around me and introduce all of those parents to the other volunteers.. I found these people were not exclusive, but lots of them were shy.

This continued all through her school years and we broke down that reputation.. we became inclusive.. We started a new parents group. We would hold coffees for new moms and dads.. This also helped..

Maybe you are so amazing looking, people have a preconceived idea, but when they see you just being a mom, you will be more approachable.. YOU will have to do the work.. Help at the school for as much as possible.. do the down and dirty jobs.. Show them you are not a lingerie model but a mom that all of the kids feel comfortable around.. They are the ones with the problems.. I am sending you strength..

I'll be honest. Before I had my baby and was a young adult, I was rude and closed off to any female who I felt threatened by: pretty, flirtatious, strong, well liked by men (to name a few "types"). Misogyny rears it's ugly head in many forms, and is not a social syndrome that affects men only.

Understanding, accepting and changing my behavior has been a great blessing. And, as a result, I have the most amazing female friends and have felt more empowered. I also feel more beautiful, vivacious, powerful and strong. I am better supported. I feel allied with my "femininity" (not to be confused with "feminine qualities" - I am a tom boy, of sorts) and with other women. It's awesome.

Anyway, to answer your question: Yes, maybe those women are avoiding you because they are threatened by your socially desired beauty. Or, maybe they are just mean people. Or, maybe they have too much on their plate, are not seeking new friends, or were having a bad day. You may never know.

What we can all do, is be open to other women. That doesn't mean we have to like every female person we meet, or become fast friends with anyone who approaches us. But, we can be accountable and honest with ourselves about our judgments, negative stereotypes and internalized misogynistic or sexist attitudes. This stuff is insipid and has been culturally ingrained in ALL of us. So, we get to work it out and grow.

Good luck finding women who you click with. Don't close your door just because others have closed theirs.

Hey J.,

Do you want to have to entertain another adult during a playdate who *might* have trouble with your appearance? Just wondering...

Here's my take on this sort of situation: you never know what's going on with the other moms. My son is in preschool; all very nice parents, and you know, I don't hang out with any of them. The kids are usually too tired after school to do playdates, and we are all usually picking up our kids and getting out of there. Sure, some of the moms hang out and chat, some (I know this) get together outside of preschool events... I am glad they have that connection. I'm also really happy with the other moms I do get together with.

Perhaps this woman is in over her head with parenting and doesn't have time for a playdate. Perhaps she was racing off to an appointment. Or, perhaps she's just rude and you were spared having to hang out with her. Some things to consider...

I myself, being a short (4'11"), bit-stocky and slightly frumpy forty-year-old woman, don't really take offense to more glamorous-looking people. I'm happy with my own self, so it doesn't bother me. Some people (like your mom friend) spend a lot of time dressing up, looking beautiful, etc. and good for them. I've got a lot of other things I'd rather be doing, and do take care to look nice, but I don't hold it against anyone for looking their best. If that beauty is radiating out from inside, too, well--those are the people who I love, no matter what their outsides look like. Don't sweat it, let the holidays pass, and you know what, there will be other people who come along, who don't judge by appearances and aren't cliquey. Oh, and unless you speak in a baby voice or there's something else that might offend sensible women, just let it go.

And you probably won't want to tell them you are a former lingerie model... ha ha. ;) Just be yourself and let them flap in the wind....

Hehehehe I would hang out with you but I wouldnt bring you around my hubby :)

J., I'm sorry to say it but you may be right. Not all moms are like that though. She sounds particularly bad.

Rather than dwelling on this behavior, I would look for confident, friendly moms with kids my DS could play with. There may be times as your son gets older that he befriends kids whose moms are cool to you but you have to grin and bear it for his sake.

I've seen the same thing happen in my home town and I often wonder how the women on the receiving end deal with it.

ooh man - this is a case of people being superficial and making judgments about people they know nothing personally about - they just want to make a rash, first impression judgment.

Trust me - you are better off without people like her in your life!!!

It might keep some mother's from making play dates as in actuality they are jealous that they can't have that body too. Some make judgments about you without even talking with you - some - well, some just don't have the self-confidence (they may TALK like they do!!) to hold up to you. So they would constantly be wondering - if my hubby walks in the room - is he gonna want her? The answer is probably YES!!! However, if their husband can't maintain control - that's not YOUR fault.

yes, it's not just mother's it's women in general who will avoid hanging out with women whom they believe are prettier than they. Sad, isn't it?

You don't mention what age your son is - mine are 8 and 10 and they, like me, don't have a filter between their brain and mouth! so they would probably take one look at you and say "hubba-hubba" - I know - laugh but they are aware of women - and some women don't want their boys to get too much into girls before their time!! I know - I know!!!

You will find people who will look past the outside beauty and see the inner beauty - until then - do NOT let the "little people" bring you down! YOU GO GIRL!!!

Disclaimer: What I am about to say may offend if you don't take the time to read to the end.

If you were perfectly likable on the phone and she didn't like you in person, I don't think it's your personality. It must be the stereotype.

Fat people are lazy, Voluptuous women are home wreckers....

Stereotypes exist. We all recognize them and have to admit they exist because there are people that fall into those roles. Not everyone of course, but many fall into those roles. Otherwise stereotypes wouldn't be eaisly recognizable.
That sterotype of home wrecker may be the trouble. A lot of women don't really like to have curvy women around the husband. He's just a man and he will look. I don't need that kind of blow to my self esteem. But that really makes it my own issue. I would be missing out on a wonderful person by not taking the time to get to know you.

I would be friends with you, so women who give you the once over are definately jealous. However, do you wear tight shirts? Do your boobs hang out of your shirt? Can they see your cleavage (if you show any) from far away? If so, you should hide your girls! Don't dress provocatively and other women should have no problem being your friend (unless they have issues and are too jealous).

I would agree with possibly intimidated. It sounds like, at least physically, you have it all together and I know that can be scary for some when maybe the other moms don't feel so put together. Certainly it isn't fair and it's totally bitchy how she treated you! I'm pretty sure I woudln't do that, but honestly, I would probably feel intimidated and wonder "how you do it"! People are afraid of "perfect" people and although I'm sure you're not (LOL!) it might make others run the opposite direction. I would maybe press the issue by calling her and inviting her son over to play or meet out or whatever and make it clear that you don't necessarily need her to be present at the play date. Maybe after a few chances to play she'll warm up to you and put it all behind her...I hope. It's sad that the behaviors and stereotypes that plagued us in high school still carry over as adults when this is the time it was supposed to be "all better"! Hang in there and I hope it works out for you. Hugs!

I think that she didn't like the idea of you meeting her husband LOL! Like you care! But honestly it seems like she saw you and since you are pretty she thought to herself "HELL NO!" and she decided to scratch you off her list of new friends.
Maybe if you look more like the typical SAHM that they portray on TV sometimes (you know a little overweight, no make up, etc) she would have been OK having you as a friend, but since you are pretty this wasn't a good idea for her.
She might have a self esteem problem, maybe she is insecure about her looks, and thinking about hanging out with you made her uncomfortable, because I've always have had friends that I think are really pretty and I could care less. I love them for who they are, great loving friends that listen to me and understand me, and if they look pretty well, good for them (and their husbands!) and it's also OK because I look pretty too :)

Honestly, it's impossible to say. Your husband and co-workers are most likely right.

As for setting up playdates, why don't you call or have your son call? Maybe the other mom just forgot. Another thing to do is get involved with the home and school association - so people get to know you.

yes they are jealous. have a playdate at your home for a mom who has not met you yet. so they will get to know you at your home and not be so apt to judge you. give it time you will find a few women who are confidant in themselves to have a good looking friend like you.

That's so hard to know, not knowing you, and not knowing these people. If you believe that you are beautiful, you may come off as arrogant (please don't take this wrong - I don't know you, but trying to think outside the box). Maybe she has some self esteem issues - you looked all put together and she looked like she just rolled out of bed, or maybe your idea of dressing conservatively is different than hers, maybe you are right and she is jealous. Maybe you look like the girl her husband had an affair with?

I've had this issue before too, but I'm short, a little chubby, and couldn't pay someone to let me model, so I don't think I can use this reason. LOL!

I think that a lot of moms are very jealous when it comes to how other moms compare to themselves, however I can't believe that without even getting to know you a little, she never gave you a chance. IMO, she is not someone I would want to get to know or hang out with anyway if that is how she acts towards people she doesn't even know. Unfortunately it affects your son, which is the most hurtful, I assume. I am very blunt and am a "take it or leave it" type of person, if you don't like me too bad for you, but you may want to confront her and say" I was really looking forward to our playdate and just wanted to see what happened the other day."

I dont know, i have a tall skinny friend with big fake boobs, she is hot as hell and i am super jealous of her height and the perkiness of the chest. But shes also an angel, very modest and approachable. I wouldnt let good looks phase me, but i also think i am pretty too, so maybe im not the one to ask. I can say for certain that my "model perfect friend" has people of all shapes, sizes and looks that consider her to be very "friend" worthy. BFF worthy actually.

Maybe you put off a vibe, idk

You live in Dallas - LOTS of people look as you have described yourself. I dont think jealousy is the problem. Just keep being friendly and open to people. If they dont call you - call them.

I think its more likely she is not a morning person, she was late to work, etc. and then she got busy and didnt call. If she avoids every skinny person in Dallas with large breasts, she severely limits her friend options.

I've also found that kids are a great equalizer. When you have kids - you always have something to talk about with other people who have kids - regardless of your appearance, ethinicity, income, etc.

Good luck!

I have a friend who is about 5'2...maybe 100lbs...big beautiful blue eyes, huge boobs (surgically! lol) and the nicest person. I, on the other hand, amd 5'11"...outweigh her by 200lbs...have big boobs too though! and think I am pretty nice. We get along. Yes, sometimes I feel pretty selfconscious next to her, but it's not her fault she's this tiny little thing!
I try very hard not to judge women who are "perfect" (lol) although sometimes it is hard. if this woman was being bitchy then she is not worth your time!

Wow, the answers you've gotten have really run the gammet. Did I spell that right? Ha! And I didn't even read them all. But Wow! Here's my 2 cents....(and of the responses I read no one addressed this) but I think maybe age plays a part in this as well.

I think if you and the other moms invovled are really young (under 25) then other moms may react differently to you due to jealousy. If you are older and/or the other moms are older then I don't think it's jealousy. I don't think age is the ONLY factor, but a big one in how people are reacting to you simply because of maturity levels and how far they've made it in life themselves.

It sounds like you feel like your looks are intimidating to others. If this is true, then it's likely that others can sense this attitude from you and shy away from it because they think you are a snob without giving you the opportunity to prove otherwise. Keep trying! Prove them wrong! If they don't call, call them. Next time you see her say... "hey, I thought we were going to get the kids together!?!" My son would still love to do that play date."

If you approached me in this exact same situation I would respond warmly toward you no matter how you looked. Now, with that being said, if you were the opposite (tattoos, piercings, sloppy dresser, goth or gangster clothing) I would still be friendly but I probably wouldn't pursue a friendship with you because I don't think I would have anything in common with you. It wouldn't be anything against those things per say, but I just don't dress that way, and likely have different values and outlooks on life.

Have you joined the PTA at your son's school? Is he involved in sports yet? Have you attended any class events? Say a class party or birthday party or other social function?

Maybe if you could volunteer in the classroom or something it would help you get involved and meet other Moms. In a work/volunteer situation, others are forced to interact with you.....which gives you the perfect opportunity to prove you are approachable. This is probably why you get along with your co-workers so well!!

Hopefully you'll get to know these ladies and they will get to know you and everyone will know and love what a great person you are inside!!!

I met one of my best friends a few years back through our daughters cheerleading. I thought she was a sweet person, she was a few years younger than the rest of us and single at the time. The other moms were always bad mouthing her and wouldnt give her the time of day. At first I couldnt figure out why but as I sat back and listened I finally did. She wore tight clothing, short shorts, and her cleavage did show at times. She wasnt trying to be this way, it was just the way she dressed.

I dont think it was so much jealousy, as it was a distaste for her, we live in an area tha can have some snooty women, most of them were pretty well off and they looked down on her.

I actually became friends with her because I felt sorry for her on how the other moms treated her, who knew 4 yrs later I was going to be maid of honor in her wedding.

I'm not sure of the are you live or of how you dress, but this could just be a case of snobby women.

well some moms still behave like they are still in high school. there are moms like that at my childrens school. hold your head up...you are just as special as the other moms.
hope your situation improves. sometimes i think they are just socially unaware and dont even realize they are hurting someone else feelings. if you lived in the same state i would have you over for a cup of tea.

She could be jealous. OR, she could assume that you've had a boob job to make you your size, and is judging you b/c of that. Honestly, if I knew someone was naturally that size, I would of course have no problem with her whatsoever. However, if I somehow knew for a fact it was a boob job, I would probably not want to hang out with her...not b/c she had a boob job, but b/c she chose to go so large. I would question the values of someone who opted to go so large. I understand this is not your case...but these other women may be making assumptions. I understand your predictament. I think this women may be a lost cause b/c you simply cannot approach her, say they're real & ask if you can be friends. You could keep trying & let her get to know you, but that will only work if she's willing.

There is definitely some stereotyping going on. Provided you cannot change what you look like or who you are, if it really bothers you that much, try getting down to earth, getting your hands dirty, etc and maybe they won't see you as some "broad without a brain" ..they will see you as a regular M.. I would assume it's mostly moms with sons who may not want their 4, 5yr olds gazing at your DDD. People can be so mean at times. Sorry you are faced with that.

Yes, they can be jealous. I will also tell you that many moms of all sizes have the exact same thing happen to them at our school. We can do fine elsewhere but this school has a few *(*(*)&. There are grown up mean girls, M. bullies. If you never experienced this in high school, it can take a long time to accept because to me, it is NUTS!
If we were closer I would meet you at a public place and we could give each other honest feedback. I bet you would find that you are well-liked and it really is them.
Keep your eye out for moms like me. I am always looking to meet nice, caring people. I don't care about your looks(including pink hair though my daughter might stare and ask "How do you get Barbie hair. That is pretty!"
I like nice people who teach their kids to be nice. I don't like drama and I like to be helpful and supportive.
Occasionally if I am having a bad day and haven't slept, I may forget to be friendly or notice a new person. It is not against you. I just sometimes am zapped.
I found 2 moms, 1 I truly trust at school. We are friendly and starting to do outings. I also found another M.'s club(not just for preschoolers) who gets together. I am going to force myself to go because I need adult time not about the kids.
If we all lived in the same city, I would make a DRAMA FREE club or something. I think there are many women here worth knowing with great advice.

I'm just going to be 100% honest here:
If you are very beautiful I would probably feel intimidated at first but I would definitely get to know you before I decided whether or not our personalities clicked.

But if you are very beautiful AND you wear lots of makeup AND you have your hair perfectly coiffed AND you have perfectly manicured nails AND you wear heels to the park, then I admit I would probably not be too quick to get to know you. I know, I know, that's pretty superficial. And I'm not saying that because a person cares about her appearance that means she's unapproachable. I mean, I don't dress like that and I don't wear make-up except when going out. I wear stylish shoes but I'd never wear heels during the week. So, I'd probably surmise that if you dressed like that then we likely don't have a lot in common.

But, I dont' know what you do with your appearance... I am only telling you a "for instance".

I hate to say it, but if any woman judges you for your appearance and not for your personality, maybe you shouldn't want to be friends with her.

I think it's just naturally hard to make new friends as we get older. It's a growing pain of motherhood. I hope you're able to find some good friends soon.

I think bc she was SO rude, it's your looks. Your story reminds me a bit of a mom in my daughter's class. The mothers in my area really range in size, color, and attractiveness but not as much in age. This mom is likely much younger though than most and dresses in super short shorts sometimes etc. She's bleached blond and probably attractive to some men. I'll admit I raised an eyebrow at her but if our daughters were friendly, I'd definitely be nice and give her a chance. But I think I've gotten to a point in my life that I'm pretty secure. Same time, it's more this woman's "look" that was a bit of a turnoff to me than her actual attractiveness. I've never minded having prettier friends as I always figured we'd attract more guys. :) And now that I'm married, still doesn't bother me as my husband seems to think I'm quite pretty and I figure it's unlikely the friend would actually make a move on my husband anyway. And not like I can keep him from seeing other more attractive women in the world. But I'm not sure all women think like that AND I think it can be your "look" as much as actual attractiveness. For instance, this mom wears a lot of make-up and has the obviously bleached hair etc so I tend to think I won't have a lot in common with her. It's not dissimilar to thinking I won't have a lot in common with someone who is super messy and incredibly dowdy etc. I don't seek them out either. This woman is likely a lost cause but I'd make sure I looked as much like the other moms as possible to make up for you being naturally prettier. If other moms are pretty low key, wear your hair in a ponytail and no make-up when you meet them. I know you said you wear jeans and sweater and aren't like your friend but make sure you really don't show off too. Then hopefully people will at least give you a chance!

You are probably right. What ashame but true a lot of times. The thing is, they are possibly all worried that their husbands will run off with you and you can convey somehow how madly in love with your husband you are and besides that, let's be truthful, would you want any of their men? Women who are jealous can make us feel so bad. It might not be about looks. Some women are jealous of smart women. Some are jealous of athletic women. One woman wrote here about joining all sorts of things and getting involved and volunteering, etc. And I agree. You will be involved with your children, and their school, and that is where friendships will evolve. I remember a woman who I loved so much years ago (and passed away sadly) who would never let me go to her house ( and I am not sure I can claim that I was amazing looking, I suppose all right, just not sure what the world thought of me, as I am short and evolved from fat to thin and worked on my own to make myself better). At any rate she would never let me over and I told her neighbor this and she said 'well, that's weird' she invited her over all the time. But the same woman did all sorts of wonderful friendship things, and I felt she really cared about me. And then it occurred to me one day that maybe her husband said something stupid like I was cute or something and although she genuinely liked me she didn't want me to be around him (how ridiculous I thought). Well, that is life sometimes and you will meet other women, you only need one or two good friends, you have us here to talk to and you will probably meet someone as beautiful as you that you can pal around with. Good luck and merry Christmas. Keep writing us!

I would just be as nice and friendly as you can be. Try to get to know the other moms but don't be overly pushy. At the same time I would HIGHLY recommend joining a playgroup for his age group or a mom's club (look at meetup.com for groups there). Find friends elsewhere and then if his friend's moms can become friends of yours great, but if not their loss! Last year I only made two friends out of my son's class and this year NONE. It's REALLY hard imo to even get the chance to know the parents. I have a younger one in tow and in a hurry normally to get older son checked in/out and out the door. I mean I say hi and stuff but most of the parents at the school he's at don't seem overly friendly. Even at his xmas party NO other parents talked to me there, kinda weird but whatever. I don't think it's necessarily looks (it could be but not always for sure) but people are just too wrapped up in themselves and their kids to pay attention to other moms, that's what it seems like in my world at least. Sorry that happened to you and good luck, find a playgroup or mom group!!

1st.. WHERE do you find bras?! I am soooo tired of trying to find a good bra that fits a DDD without spending an arm and a leg or shopping through the mail!

2nd. Don't fret over it so much. Women have a problem of reverting back to HS when they have Children in school. Some of them grow out of it as their children age, others do not.

D.
(fellow natural DDD with three children: 21,20, and 7)

I would really hate to think that people could be that shallow and or jealous!

I am nice to look at as well...and I haven't had any issues like what you describe....I also have INCREDIBLY hot friends, real movie actresses and lingerie model friends who happen to have LOTS of friends and no trouble making them either (and they have school aged kids and "mommy friends" too)...so in my life I have not experienced what you are referring to.

If it is bothering you that much....that much that you have felt the need to already speak with your hubby and also all your co-workers, I say why not take a crack at figuring out this last woman's deal? Try again. Be more assertive maybe? Ask what happened? and How about that play date...my kid is really excited to get together??

Good Luck Woman!

I know what you mean. I am a natural blonde, thin/small framed, and a natural DDD cup myself. I have been told I am attractive throughout my life, although I am too modest to ever say that for myself. I always say I make a terrible first impression, because people make judgments about me before getting to know me for 2 seconds. I figure it's a gift though, as it helps weed out the people in the beginning that I wouldn't necessarily want to associate with anyway. Don't worry about it. Their insecurities are not your problem.

J.,

You moved to an extremely conservative area! I completely understand, however, because I too am treated the same way a lot of times.

Whatever the reason, why bother being friend with someone that pre-judges you without even talking to you (not like she should judge even if she knew you)?
You're better off finding other playdates for your son, with moms that are a little more secure of themselves.

I haven't read the other answers yet so I'm not sure if what I'm about to say has been said before, but would I avoid another mom based on how she looks? Yes and no. No, I would not avoid someone based on how she looks that are just part of who she are - height, weight, cup size. People come in all shapes and sizes. Last year I was in a playgroup and it just so happened that I, at a size 10, was the biggest person there... ALL the other moms were size 0 to 6, but they were all just tiny people! No big deal.

However, I do judge people sometimes based on how they choose to look - hairstyle, clothing, makeup. Not because I think they are a bad person but because I'm trying to evaluate how much we might have in common and whether to pursue a friendship with them. If a mom was dressed provocatively or wearing a LOT of makeup, that would give me the message that she and I might not have that much in common. If she was wearing super expensive designer clothing, that would put me off simply because we are not in that income bracket so I would worry that we wouldn't be able to share hobbies based on different income levels. Some people might decide that someone with lots of tattoos or piercings would not have much in common with them.

It sounds like you are lonely though, and looking for some friends. The place where I have found it easiest to make friends is through church, if you are involved with a good church. If not, you might look at moms groups (if you want mom friends) or groups based around a common interest (if you aren't specifically looking for only mom friends). I've heard good things about meetup.com for finding groups of people who share your interests.

Wow!! Man do I wish you lived closer to me. I don't care about looks, just looking for more mom friends that are beautiful in the inside. What is this world coming to?!! I used to think that highschool ended a long time ago, but it never went away. She didnt even give you a chance! I didnt get the memo about getting to know someone by looking at them for a couple of seconds. I do think that its only human nature to take a first impression, but as a rule, it shouldnt be your last impression.Who cares what u look like. Having a good friend is what counts. If it were me, I would be asking you about makeup, shopping and fitness advice :)

i have found that being new is hard. Dallas may be a big city, but it's full of small cliques. So it's like a whole bunch of groups with small-town mentality. i thought that when my son started school, i would develop a whole bunch of mom friends too. and i still think i will, but just not as soon as i'd hoped. you have to find the RIGHT people. and yes, some women are insecure, jealous, shallow, etc. or maybe just intimidated by you and thinking you wouldn't want to be friends with them. i know it's hurtful, and i do feel your pain. i sometimes feel like i missed the boat and all the moms in my son's class are best buds already and too bad for me. but i know that i'm an amazing friend, and i will find the group of moms that i fit in with. hang in there - great friends are worth waiting for!!

many moms do not want to get to know me because I am very overweight and over 6ft tall ... and I do not dress like a typical fat person, I do choose to put myself together. I really do not want to be friends with those mothers anyway if that is the way they choose to pick friends in the first place.

Hi!

Well, my first reaction is "What a B*@#H!" But now that is not being nice! I would think maybe she and other people are just jealous of you. Some people are so insecure. I personally do not care what people look like as long as they are good. That is what we should all be teaching our children too! Anyway, I would just continue to be nice to her, but do not let her make you feel bad! Just smile and walk away. Make it seem like she does not bother you at all. As for your son, I would just have him play with her son at school. You never know he may find out information from his little friend about what the mom is saying or thinking about you. If you really care about what her problem is, try calling her and just asking her point blank.

All the best to you!

You had one mom who reacted like that. Give it a chance. Don't go assuming everyone will have the same reaction towards you. Maybe she thought your ddds are too distracting :) or fake or what have you not.
There is a mom like you (pretty, blonde, and 'gifted') but no one likes her because she has no personality and is not fun to be around with. I am sure she thinks because she's too pretty, but the truth is she just doesn't fit in.
You, on the other hand, have to experience this a few times to come to that conclusion and for your son's sake, I hope you get to make friends so that he can develop a social life and make friends he can have playdates with after school.

when you saw her did you say "HI" (with a look like oh look at you what a mess) or Hi! nice to meet you!.LOL
this women sounds like she could have some issues (feels theatened or maybe self-esteem) if she feels that she can take one look at you and decide she can't even talk to you just because of how you look. I thought most people wanted to be around beautiful people because it makes them look better. Remember in highschool most kids always wanted to be associated with the "beautiful people"lol
I could not imagine being so insecure with myself that I would just be plain rude to someone. I think you are better off.

You were sterotyped. These women feel threatened by by you.

It happens to me too. I am petite, natural perky DD's, great body, no fat, have modeled most tof my life and still do sometimes.

Sometimes, when people underestimate you it is your advantage. When I am underestimated, is when I have the most motivation to to make something work and be positive and then the responses are like "wow, you have a brain".

Be glad you are still pretty, take care of yourself and are a good mom. There are too many "plastic" people out there, you'll find a real friend.

why do you worry about what other people think. lifes to short for that. you are who you are and that is the way life is. people like that are ***es and arent happy with themselves. and you are obviously not happy with yourself or you wouldnt care. real friends like you for who you are not who they want you to be. to be honest I wouldnt run around with you either. for the simple fact I would think your going to try to mold me into who you want me to be. your a prep so to speak and preps think money buys happiness. I am a redneck and dont care about your money or your big tits. I care about the person on the inside not the outside. so you may be prettier than me who cares good for you.

if your not down to earth and dont care what people think about you you are just simply not my type. now even if you wear sweats and have big tits if you are down to earth and dont care about what others think of you I could be your friend cause you are what I consider cool. I am opinionated and outspoken so is that going to keep you from being my friend?? if so go on with your life and I will go on with mine. when I went to my 20 yr class reunioin I realized if you are not the same class of people you cant be friends. I had one girl bless her heart for trying but she was a lawyer I worked construction. in construction you get dirty period there is no point for makeup or nice clothes or fix your hair. she asked me what I did I told her we were in completely diffrent brackets. ok so her next question married or single she was married and I was divorced. next question do you have kids yes she did not. she is a lawyer has to be outgoing and find conversation for sake of her job. but she was trying but I was thinking in my mind no wonder we didnt get along in high school we had nothing in common and still to this day dont. so why try it is just not going to work. all of my friends in high school were rednecks and still are to this day.

ps pick the quiet standoffish ones. they are shy and need friends too.

WOW... the way someone looks (as long as they aren't always sloppy, dirty, smelly, etc) should NOT interfere with your child's social life, or in becoming acquaintances with other parents.

If they are really acting that way, I'd just let it roll off my back and make friends elsewhere.

I think people are self consious them selves to see a beautiful woman.They automatically think of how their husband would respond to you,I'd have to admit that I too would be intimidated by a beautiful woman befriending me and that my hubby would have a crush on her but then again i have to think that im being stupid to think that because my husband and I love each other so much!I would ask them "I dont want to be rude or come off the wrong way but why do you avoid me? I'm just curious." Or continue to ask them to make plans and let them know your husband is eager to know who the parents of his childs friends are.I hope this helped!

I'm sorry you were judged by your appearance. I do think this is a sad fact of human nature. Some people are just naturally more open-minded and equally friendly towards new people, and some people just can't connect with others who are too different from themselves. I would call her. I would say, "My son would still love to have Jimmy over to play, if you are still interested. You may drop him off with us if it is convenient, or you are more than welcome to stay, as I would love to have coffee and chat while the boys play, or we can meet up at playground if you like. I know the boys woul have a great time together" She may think about it, and realize her error in not being very kind towards you. If she blows you off again, I would let it go. It's her loss. Realize that your child will have his friends, and you may or may not ever have a real friendship with all of his friends' Moms. It's nice when that happens, but a lot of times, the kids are good friends, or the Moms are good friends, but not both. The further along you and son get involved in school and activities, the more people will get to know who you really are, and more people will judge you by your character and personality, not your looks.

Screw her and any other mom that doesn't want to be your friend. Don't worry, you will find a few moms that like you for you right away and won't even consider your looks.

It's really a shame because I feel that us women never, ever, get out of "high school". No matter how old we get, other women are there always judging, gossiping and talking behind our backs.

i agree with your hubby and co-workers, they are jealous! and who does that kind of stuff??!! most kids don't even treat each other like that so i wouldn't even want to be friends with insecure airheads like that anyway! there is a fix for just about everything out here so if they don't llike their breasts, they can make them bigger or vice versa. if they are frumps then they need to get a make over, and if their husbands pay them no attention maybe if they did the above or changed their nasty attitudes he might change his view of her! don't let those snobs make you think that there is something wrong with YOU! if your very attractive and have large breast so what. i know plenty of women just like you that are some of the nicest people i know!! you didn't ask to be born beautiful, you are jsut how God wanted you. but in reality sometimes we forget that pretty people have problems and issues just like the ok looking people, and the not so pretty people, and the little breasted people, and the big booty people! lol so pay them no mind im quite sure will find some freinds so don't even worry about it!

they are just insecure. they too probably wish they were thin and had their hair done before they left the house and look "up to par" but just aren't taking the time to look their best. that's their own fault. Becuase i was that woman who felt insecure of how they looked especially when someone looks better, thinner, bigger boobs, whiter, straighter teeth ect, ect, ect. when i was younger, i was thinner, prettier ect. but time has taken a hold of me and age is catching up. I didn't take care of myself when i got pregnant. Thinking, "I am eating for two" and I will lose it after.WRONG! I wished someone would have told me it is not that easy to lose 75lbs! LOL! I was always 105 and petite and pretty. Now, I am 41, 165 and NOW I make an effort to look my best when I wake up and am ready to just walk out the door. The "other" women don't bother me anymore. Instead of complaining, they need to do something about it. Like I have. :P

Some people do judge. It's sad if they are doing this because of your looks OR your DDD bust.

The only thing I can think of to check is..cleavage. You say you wear sweaters so it's probably not an issue, but I know I used to wear V-necks, and when I bent over to talk to kids, I sometimes gave them an eyeful without realizing it.

That said, if you know that is NOT the case, you just need to find some other friends - ones who don't think your bust tells them anything about you as a person. I am a 5' tall C-cup and the SMALLEST chested woman in my imeediate family. I know my sister has complained that people often think she's stupid without even talking to and she is SURE it's because of her chest size (34 F, I think).

I think that people have a right to their own opinion and have a right to decide who they want to become friendly with.

I also think that it is a shame that people don't take the time to get to know one another before they decide that they would not make good friends, either because you don't have much in common or their are too many crucial differences in your thinking about parenting, politics, religion, etc. Again, it is okay to not want to pursue a friendship with someone.

However, this ladies immediate reaction to you was very rude. It certainly appears to me that she did not even give you a chance.. outside or inside the classroom when you tried to talk to her.

I can understand why when some of us might say that this is a friend not worth having ( which is true), that it still might be upsetting just to be treated that way.

Unfortunately, we live in a world of many different personalities and there are enough people who grew up without being taught how to be nice, how to be friendly and kind to the people they meet on an everyday basis... and this is the shame of it all.

. It is hard getting rejected and sometimes that causes us to stop trying. I encourage you to keep plugging away and try hard not to let these experiences cause you to pre-judge other moms about whether or not they will be nice to you, before you even try. With a positive attitude, you may find the right person/s and build some nice relationships where you live. Good Luck.